Why did the chicken

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Michael Mendelsohn

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Jan 10, 2005, 6:03:18 AM1/10/05
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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the academic paper?
Q: Why did the chicken cross the fairground (fun fair)?
Q: Why did the chicken wait 6 hours and 12 minutes?

Find more!

Cheers
Michael
--
Still an attentive ear he lent Her speech hath caused this pain
But could not fathom what she meant Easier I count it to explain
She was not deep, nor eloquent. The jargon of the howling main
-- from Lewis Carroll: The Three Usenet Trolls

ma...@mimosa.csv.warwick.ac.uk

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Jan 10, 2005, 9:28:52 AM1/10/05
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In article <41E260F6...@msgid.michael.mendelsohn.de>,

a2...@michael.mendelsohn.de writes:
>Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
>A: To get to the other side.

Or possibly because (s)he saw the zebra crossing.

Derek Holt.

Martin DeMello

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Jan 10, 2005, 10:49:53 AM1/10/05
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Michael Mendelsohn <inv...@msgid.michael.mendelsohn.de> wrote:
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
> A: To get to the other side.
>
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the fairground (fun fair)?


To get to the other ride

martin

Mr. Wilson

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Jan 10, 2005, 11:21:16 AM1/10/05
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Michael Mendelsohn wrote:
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
> A: To get to the other side.
>
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the academic paper?
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the fairground (fun fair)?
> Q: Why did the chicken wait 6 hours and 12 minutes?
>

Spoiler


* ?
* To get to the other ride
* To get to the other tide

> Find more!

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
Why did the chicken go to a different wedding?
Why did the chicken cross the road in a pan filled with hot oil?
Why did the chicken cross the African savannah?
Why did Daffy Duck cross the road?

Mr. Wilson

Ted S.

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Jan 10, 2005, 2:06:16 PM1/10/05
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Somebody claiming to be "Mr. Wilson" <mrwi...@noemailsplease.com> wrote
in news:cru9g3$h9$1...@unlnews.unl.edu:

> Michael Mendelsohn wrote:
>> Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
>> A: To get to the other side.
>>
>> Q: Why did the chicken cross the academic paper?
>> Q: Why did the chicken cross the fairground (fun fair)?
>> Q: Why did the chicken wait 6 hours and 12 minutes?
>>
>
> Spoiler
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> * ?

I think the first one is, "To get to the other cite".

> * To get to the other ride
> * To get to the other tide
>
> > Find more!
>
> Why did the chicken cross the playground?
> Why did the chicken go to a different wedding?

To get to the other bride

> Why did the chicken cross the road in a pan filled with hot oil?

To get to the other fried

> Why did the chicken cross the African savannah?

To get to the Great Rift Divide?

> Why did Daffy Duck cross the road?

To get to the eider side. :-)

--
Ted <fedya at bestweb dot net>
TV Announcer: It's 11:00. Do you know where your children are?
Homer: I told you last night, *no*!
<http://www.snpp.com/episodes/4F06.html>

Michael Mendelsohn

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Jan 10, 2005, 3:38:16 PM1/10/05
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"Ted S." schrieb:

> Somebody claiming to be "Mr. Wilson" <mrwi...@noemailsplease.com> wrote
> in news:cru9g3$h9$1...@unlnews.unl.edu:
>
> > Michael Mendelsohn wrote:
> >> Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
> >> A: To get to the other side.
> >>
> >> Q: Why did the chicken cross the academic paper?
> >> Q: Why did the chicken cross the fairground (fun fair)?
> >> Q: Why did the chicken wait 6 hours and 12 minutes?

Martin DeMello, Mr. Wilson and Ted S. have together answered all of
these questions correctly.
I like the questions Mr Wilson has come up with.

----->
Why did the chicken cross the mine?
Why did the chicken cross the cave?
----->


Spoiler


Space


> > Why did the chicken cross the African savannah?
>
> To get to the Great Rift Divide?

To get to the other pride (of lions)?

> > Why did Daffy Duck cross the road?
> To get to the eider side. :-)

That one is cool! :)

Danny Kodicek

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Jan 10, 2005, 5:00:38 PM1/10/05
to

"Michael Mendelsohn" <inv...@msgid.michael.mendelsohn.de> wrote in message
news:41E260F6...@msgid.michael.mendelsohn.de...

> Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
> A: To get to the other side.
>
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the academic paper?
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the fairground (fun fair)?
> Q: Why did the chicken wait 6 hours and 12 minutes?
>
> Find more!

Why did the genie cross the road?

(silly answer follows...)

To get to the other joke


Rich The Newsgropup Wacko

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Jan 10, 2005, 5:58:48 PM1/10/05
to
On Mon, 10 Jan 2005 21:38:16 +0100, Michael Mendelsohn wrote:

> "Ted S." schrieb:
>> Somebody claiming to be "Mr. Wilson" <mrwi...@noemailsplease.com> wrote
>> in news:cru9g3$h9$1...@unlnews.unl.edu:
>>
>> > Michael Mendelsohn wrote:
>> >> Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
>> >> A: To get to the other side.
>> >>
>> >> Q: Why did the chicken cross the academic paper?
>> >> Q: Why did the chicken cross the fairground (fun fair)?
>> >> Q: Why did the chicken wait 6 hours and 12 minutes?
>
> Martin DeMello, Mr. Wilson and Ted S. have together answered all of
> these questions correctly.
> I like the questions Mr Wilson has come up with.
>
> ----->
> Why did the chicken cross the mine?
> Why did the chicken cross the cave?
> ----->
>

I totally give up on these, but maybe my search is too narrow. In my
quest, I did come up with:

Why did the taxidermist cross the road?
Why did the explorer cross the trail?
Why did the chicken cross the continent?
Why did the chicken cross the trailer-park?

These are all very, very lame, by the way, but I'll spoil them anyway:

v

v

v

v

v

spoiler


v

v

v


Why did the taxidermist cross the road?
to get to the other hide
Why did the explorer cross the trail?
to get to the other guide
Why did the chicken cross the continent?
to get to the great divide
Why did the chicken cross the trailer-park?
to get to the double-wide

Sorry.
Rich


Michael Mendelsohn

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Jan 10, 2005, 6:46:01 PM1/10/05
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Rich The Newsgropup Wacko schrieb:

> On Mon, 10 Jan 2005 21:38:16 +0100, Michael Mendelsohn wrote:
> > Why did the chicken cross the mine?
> > Why did the chicken cross the cave?
> > ----->
> >
> I totally give up on these, but maybe my search is too narrow. In my
> quest, I did come up with:

[good ones snipped]

> These are all very, very lame, by the way, but I'll spoil them anyway:

Mine are even more lame: they rhyme on -ite.

Carl G.

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Jan 10, 2005, 9:26:10 PM1/10/05
to

"Michael Mendelsohn" <inv...@msgid.michael.mendelsohn.de> wrote in message
news:41E260F6...@msgid.michael.mendelsohn.de...
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
> A: To get to the other side.
>
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the academic paper?
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the fairground (fun fair)?
> Q: Why did the chicken wait 6 hours and 12 minutes?
>
> Find more!
>
> Cheers
> Michael

Q: Why did the fur trader cross the ocean?

Q: Why did the farmer cross under the cow?

Q: Why did the parity bit cross the word?


Answers...


Answers...


Answers...


Answers...

Q: Why did the fur trader cross the ocean?
A: To get to the otter hide.

Q: Why did the farmer cross under the cow?
A: To get to the udder site.

Q: Why did the parity bit cross the word?
A: To get to the odder byte.

Carl G.


Ed Murphy

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Jan 11, 2005, 12:33:23 AM1/11/05
to
On Mon, 10 Jan 2005 12:03:18 +0100, Michael Mendelsohn wrote:

> Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.
>
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the academic paper? Q: Why did the chicken
> cross the fairground (fun fair)? Q: Why did the chicken wait 6 hours and
> 12 minutes?
>
> Find more!

Why did the feminist cross the road?

Juuitchan

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Jan 11, 2005, 9:01:52 AM1/11/05
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> > Find more!
>
> Why did the feminist cross the road?
Drew Carey told this one in his book. It's a dirty joke.

Ted S.

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Jan 11, 2005, 9:50:34 AM1/11/05
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Somebody claiming to be Ed Murphy <emur...@socal.rr.com> wrote in
news:pan.2005.01.11....@socal.rr.com:

> Why did the feminist cross the road?

That's not funny! :-)

Mr. Wilson

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Jan 11, 2005, 11:32:16 AM1/11/05
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Ted S. wrote:
>>>Find more!
>>
>>Why did the chicken cross the playground?
This one got skipped by everyone: To get to the other slide, of course.

>>Why did the chicken go to a different wedding?
> To get to the other bride

Correct!

>>Why did the chicken cross the road in a pan filled with hot oil?
> To get to the other fried

Close. I was thinking of "To get to the other side fried."

>>Why did the chicken cross the African savannah?
> To get to the Great Rift Divide?

Nope. Michael Mendelsohn got this one: To get to the other pride.

>>Why did Daffy Duck cross the road?
> To get to the eider side. :-)

Yup! I also would have accepted: To get to the eider thide (said in
Daffy Duck's lisp)

Mr. Wilson

Nick Atty

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Jan 11, 2005, 12:45:55 PM1/11/05
to
On Mon, 10 Jan 2005 12:03:18 +0100, Michael Mendelsohn
<inv...@msgid.michael.mendelsohn.de> wrote:

>Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
>A: To get to the other side.
>
>Q: Why did the chicken cross the academic paper?
>Q: Why did the chicken cross the fairground (fun fair)?
>Q: Why did the chicken wait 6 hours and 12 minutes?

Why did the .... cross the road?
--
On-line canal route planner: http://www.canalplan.org.uk

(Waterways World site of the month, April 2001)

EDEB

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Jan 11, 2005, 2:18:20 PM1/11/05
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What about: Why did the chicken cross the bird sanctuary?

EDEB.


Ted Schuerzinger

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Jan 11, 2005, 2:37:36 PM1/11/05
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Somebody claiming to be Nick Atty <nos...@nandj.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in
news:klv6u01g0g1k4j86n...@4ax.com:

> Why did the .... cross the road?

Here's an off-color one, in ROT-13:

Q: Jul qvq gur pbaqbz pebff gur ebnq?
A: Vg jnf cvffrq bss.

gerard46

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Jan 11, 2005, 3:00:13 PM1/11/05
to
My nephew told me this one...

Why did the duck cross the road?

To get to the the other side.


Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.
He had to, the duck was in town.
_____________________________________________Gerard S.


Michael Mendelsohn

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Jan 11, 2005, 3:47:15 PM1/11/05
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"Carl G." schrieb:

> Q: Why did the fur trader cross the ocean?
> Q: Why did the farmer cross under the cow?
> Q: Why did the parity bit cross the word?

Utterly delightful!

Michael Mendelsohn

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Jan 11, 2005, 3:45:36 PM1/11/05
to
Michael Mendelsohn schrieb:

> > On Mon, 10 Jan 2005 21:38:16 +0100, Michael Mendelsohn wrote:
> > > Why did the chicken cross the mine?
> > > Why did the chicken cross the cave?
> > > ----->
>
> Mine are even more lame: they rhyme on -ite.

It's been 24 hours since I posted the questions,
so here are the answers:

T
o

g
e
t

t
o

t
h
e

dynamite.
stalagmite.

Michael Mendelsohn

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Jan 11, 2005, 3:48:56 PM1/11/05
to
Juuitchan schrieb:

> > Why did the feminist cross the road?
> Drew Carey told this one in his book. It's a dirty joke.

I don't get the answer. Could someone please post it with rot13?
You can use www.rot13.com if your newsreader doesn't support rot13.

Michael Mendelsohn

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Jan 11, 2005, 3:56:04 PM1/11/05
to
Nick Atty schrieb:

> Why did the .... cross the road?

The |||| was waiting on the other side !!!1

Ed Murphy

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Jan 11, 2005, 10:39:10 PM1/11/05
to
On Tue, 11 Jan 2005 21:48:56 +0100, Michael Mendelsohn wrote:

> Juuitchan schrieb:
>> > Why did the feminist cross the road?
>> Drew Carey told this one in his book. It's a dirty joke.
>
> I don't get the answer. Could someone please post it with rot13? You can
> use www.rot13.com if your newsreader doesn't support rot13.

The answer I had in mind was "GUNG'F ABG SHAAL!" which Ted S. already
posted (sans caps).

Michael Mendelsohn

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Jan 11, 2005, 11:06:49 PM1/11/05
to
Ed Murphy schrieb:

I must be missing some context, because I don't get that, either.

Anyway, I googled, and most answers to that question are indeed not
funny (especially the one that replaced "pbpx" with "oybjwbo". The best
one is this:

Why did the feminist cross the road?

To prove that a woman can do anything a chicken can do.

(And even that isn't funny, because it's exactly non-feminist career
women who desire to be like a man, only better.)

Why did the bicyclist cross the road?
To get to the unleaded gas (petrol) pump.

Why did the naught cross the road?

Mark Brader

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Jan 12, 2005, 1:25:08 AM1/12/05
to
Ed Murphy:

> > The answer I had in mind was "GUNG'F ABG SHAAL!" which Ted S. already
> > posted (sans caps).

Michael Mendelsohn:

> I must be missing some context, because I don't get that, either.

Gur *fgrerbglcvpny* srzvavfg unf ab frafr bs uhzbe, rfcrpvnyyl nobhg srzvavfz.
--
Mark Brader, Toronto | "...blind faith can ruin the eyesight--
m...@vex.net | and the perspective." --Robert Ludlum

Phil Carmody

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Jan 12, 2005, 3:39:34 AM1/12/05
to
The following doesn't really make sense, it's not supposed to.
I got the idea from MM's post (reference preserved, body elided to
remove clues).


Verily, averting nearly naught, Vivian (an earner) vainly bought Anna garnet fobs.


What else could I have said?

Phil
--
The answer to life's mystery is simple and direct:
Sex and death. -- Ian 'Lemmy' Kilminster.

Michael Mendelsohn

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Jan 12, 2005, 5:51:07 AM1/12/05
to
Mark Brader schrieb:

> Gur *fgrerbglcvpny* srzvavfg unf ab frafr bs uhzbe, rfcrpvnyyl nobhg srzvavfz.


Tasteless joke rot13'd:
Jul qvq gur znyr punhivavfg puvpxra pebff gur ebnq?
Ur sbyybjrq uvf pbpx.

Why did the boxer cross the road?


s
p
o
i
l
e
r


s
p
o
i
l
e
r


s
p
o
i
l
e
r

To get to the other fight.

Cheers

st...@mimosa.csv.warwick.ac.uk

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Jan 12, 2005, 7:18:08 AM1/12/05
to
Why did the nit-nurse cross the road?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... to get to the ovicide.


ObPuzzleRelated:
In the well-known puzzle of the three-person gunfight,
in which the worst shot has the best chance of survival
[by firing in the air], has anyone commented on the
"Prisoner's Dilemma" aspect that if that strategy is allowed,
then all three have the best chance of surviving by
always firing in the air? [sorry if this is an FAQ].

--
J.E.H.Shaw [Ewart Shaw] st...@uk.ac.warwick TEL: +44 2476 523069
Department of Statistics, University of Warwick, Coventry CV4 7AL, UK
http://www.warwick.ac.uk/statsdept http://www.ewartshaw.co.uk
3 ((4&({*.(=+/))++/=3:)@([:,/0&,^:(i.3)@|:"2^:2))&.>@]^:(i.@[) <#:3 6 2

Michael Mendelsohn

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Jan 12, 2005, 8:46:28 AM1/12/05
to
Michael Mendelsohn schrieb:
> Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
> A: To get to the other side.

Here's a belated one:

Why did Carol cross the road?

s
p
o
i
l
e
r

s
p
o
i
l
e
r

s
p
o
i
l
e
r

Why did Carol cross the road?
To get to the yuletide.

Martin DeMello

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Jan 12, 2005, 11:35:20 AM1/12/05
to
Danny Kodicek <use...@well-spring.co.uk> wrote:
>
> Why did the genie cross the road?
>
> (silly answer follows...)

We likes it :)

Old one: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?

martin

Nick Atty

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Jan 12, 2005, 3:44:20 PM1/12/05
to
On Tue, 11 Jan 2005 21:56:04 +0100, Michael Mendelsohn
<inv...@msgid.michael.mendelsohn.de> wrote:

>Nick Atty schrieb:
>> Why did the .... cross the road?
>
>The |||| was waiting on the other side !!!1

No - to get to the other elide.

Danny Kodicek

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Jan 12, 2005, 5:18:59 PM1/12/05
to

"Martin DeMello" <martin...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:clcFd.59645$Xk.34471@pd7tw3no...

LOL - to get to the same side, presumably.

Danny


Martin DeMello

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Jan 13, 2005, 12:10:20 AM1/13/05
to

Yeah :) Or "To get to the other... um..."

martin

Michael Mendelsohn

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Jan 13, 2005, 5:34:03 AM1/13/05
to
EDEB schrieb:

> What about: Why did the chicken cross the bird sanctuary?

Why did it?

Matthew Newell

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Jan 13, 2005, 8:07:16 AM1/13/05
to
In article <87llazxc...@nonospaz.fatphil.org>,
thefatphi...@yahoo.co.uk says...

> The following doesn't really make sense, it's not supposed to.
> I got the idea from MM's post (reference preserved, body elided to
> remove clues).
>
>
> Verily, averting nearly naught, Vivian (an earner) vainly bought Anna garnet fobs.
>
>
> What else could I have said?
>
> Phil
>

Prance near vaughntier fans.

vaughnty - adj - like michael vaughn (english cricket
captain) vaughntier (comp) vaughntiest (superl)


parcener bore flushy fivers

Lardy Girl

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Jan 13, 2005, 9:48:04 AM1/13/05
to
Matthew Newell <ma...@capeside.co.uk> wrote:

> Prance near vaughntier fans.
>
> vaughnty - adj - like michael vaughn (english cricket
> captain) vaughntier (comp) vaughntiest (superl)
>
> parcener bore flushy fivers

This isn't an easy task, but it *is* one that could make me popular among
the respondents.

Naiver fans regret fivers _nearly_ bought an Anna boob.

--
A n n a S h e f l -- Abandon 'safety' to reply.
- "Never eat more than you can lift." --Miss Piggy -
alt.anagrams FAQ: http://asdf.org/~anna/grams/
Anna's News Clippings archive and more: http://theanna.org/

gerson

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Jan 13, 2005, 3:07:58 PM1/13/05
to
"Michael Mendelsohn" > EDEB schrieb:

> > What about: Why did the chicken cross the bird sanctuary?
>
> Why did it?

To get to the other hide !


Matalog

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Jan 13, 2005, 4:49:56 PM1/13/05
to
Why did the puzzle newsgroup cross the line of insanity?


"Michael Mendelsohn" <inv...@msgid.michael.mendelsohn.de> wrote in message
news:41E52A34...@msgid.michael.mendelsohn.de...

Michael Mendelsohn

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Jan 13, 2005, 5:38:26 PM1/13/05
to
Matalog schrieb:

> Why did the puzzle newsgroup cross the line of insanity?

To get an unpleasant chide?

Rich Grise

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Jan 14, 2005, 6:21:28 PM1/14/05
to

That's the taxidermist. Or crossing the tannery. ;-)

You cross a bird sanctuary to get to the other _nide_.

ObPuz:
Why did the cracker slip a rozzer to the dropsy?

Cheers!
Rich


Ed Murphy

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Jan 15, 2005, 1:34:02 AM1/15/05
to
On Wed, 12 Jan 2005 10:39:34 +0200, Phil Carmody wrote:

> The following doesn't really make sense, it's not supposed to. I got the
> idea from MM's post (reference preserved, body elided to remove clues).
>
>
> Verily, averting nearly naught, Vivian (an earner) vainly bought Anna
> garnet fobs.
>
>
> What else could I have said?

Boer rely baboon serf.

[spoiler space]

Rirel jbeq vf na nantenz bs vgf ebg13'q frys.

Ed Murphy

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Jan 15, 2005, 2:38:57 AM1/15/05
to
On Wed, 12 Jan 2005 12:18:08 +0000, strgh wrote:

> ObPuzzleRelated:
> In the well-known puzzle of the three-person gunfight, in which the worst
> shot has the best chance of survival [by firing in the air], has anyone
> commented on the "Prisoner's Dilemma" aspect that if that strategy is
> allowed, then all three have the best chance of surviving by always firing
> in the air? [sorry if this is an FAQ].

(Let A be the worst shot, B the second-best, C the best.)

Not that I recall. However, in the standard Prisoner's Dilemma, the
stakes are merely length of sentence; in the standard three-person
gunfight, the stakes are death (particularly since C typically has a
100% chance of hitting his target). This strongly discourages B and
C from trusting each other.

Trusting A is not an issue (at first). Consider self-interested
strategies: For A, firing in the air is optimum. For B, firing at
A is inferior to firing at C. For C, firing at A is inferior to
firing at B. Once either B or C dies, though, then this breaks down.

Phil Carmody

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Jan 17, 2005, 8:43:41 AM1/17/05
to
Ed Murphy <emur...@socal.rr.com> writes:
> On Wed, 12 Jan 2005 10:39:34 +0200, Phil Carmody wrote:
>
> > The following doesn't really make sense, it's not supposed to. I got the
> > idea from MM's post (reference preserved, body elided to remove clues).
> >
> >
> > Verily, averting nearly naught, Vivian (an earner) vainly bought Anna
> > garnet fobs.
> >
> >
> > What else could I have said?
>
> Boer rely baboon serf.
...
>
> Rirel jbeq vf na nantenz bs vgf ebg13'q frys.


Indeed. Well done all who answered.

No need for the ObFollowup of asking what gave me the idea
for this puzzle, as it's too obvious. It was the supposed
obscuring of "blowjob" as "oybjwbo" in my original post's
parent.

gerson

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Jan 19, 2005, 7:59:26 AM1/19/05
to
"Rich Grise"

> > "Michael Mendelsohn"
> EDEB schrieb:

and so on

> >> > What about: Why did the chicken cross the bird sanctuary?
> >>
> >> Why did it?
> >
> > To get to the other hide !
>
> That's the taxidermist. Or crossing the tannery. ;-)
>
> You cross a bird sanctuary to get to the other _nide_.

I'm actually uncertain if you're serious, so, hm, surly
please see
http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/hide_1?view=uk

> ObPuz:
> Why did the cracker slip a rozzer to the dropsy?
>
> Cheers!

dunno


Rich Grise

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Jan 24, 2005, 2:10:24 AM1/24/05
to

To get to the other Snide.

Cheers!
Rich


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