I do apologise for the delay: an unfortunate coincidence of house repairs/work and preparing to head off for a week.
Misconstrued date rape sex hopeless! (11)
DATERAPESEX anag; def = hopeless
-- Sound (if unpleasant) anagram fodder. The surface reading as a whole is not terribly elegant, and the definition is borderline.
Ticked off dead snake and rat floating in Scottish river running east to west (11)
[EX+ASP] + RAT in EED (DEE rev); def = ticked off
-- All the wordplay is fine, and the definition good. As a whole, the surface reading leaves something to be desired: it all seems a bit obviously artificial.
The gold medal winner is Rob. The silver goes to David. And I am the bronze.