Sniff, sniff, sniffsniffSNORT
Andrea Dec
I pulled into a parking space at the grocery store and looked
over to the car next to me (Sable wagon) and saw FIVE
Golden Retrievers. All the windows were halfway down, so I
said to them all, "Oh, look at all of you! Aren't you *such*
pretty boys and girls!" (this being said, of course, in your
best talking-to-babies-or-dogs voice). Well, all the heads
came popping out the windows and I could see all the tails
wagging through the glass.
This was an invitation I couldn't resist...FIVE Goldens!
I was in heaven! So I go over and spend 10-15 minutes
talking and doing head scratchies and getting slobbered
on and kissed.
Then, I go home. Dan lets Max out through the garage door,
and Max is all happyhappy,joyjoy 'cause MOM'S HOME!!!!
He's leaping all over the place, and picks up his ball,
and then SNIFF. And then sniffsniffsniffsniffsniffSNORT,
blowing whatever was in his nasal cavity all over me.
The ball is forgotten, unpacking groceries from the car
is forgotten (which is normally a time of great excitement
for Max, because after all, I might drop something or have
dog cookies in there)...I get this really reproachful
look, and he turns right around and goes back in the house.
I walk into the house and see Max with his head in Dan's
lap and his butt facing me. Yup, you guessed it. FAAAAART!
No kisses for me, just dog snot and farts. So, I told Dan
that Max got quite a sniff-fest from my arms, and Dan (being
one to capitalize on Max being a tad miffed at me) tells Max
that "See, Max, Daddy keeps telling you he loves you more
than witchy mommy does....Daddy would *never* come home
smelling like strange dogs. Mommy doesn't care."
Ol' Max wouldn't come near me the rest of the evening, nor
the next day. He was glued to Dan, but when he didn't think
I was looking, I saw "sharkeye" rolling around towards me,
juuuuust in case I felt really guilty and needed to use
bribery to buy his affection back. I did tell him that those
dogs were definitely *not* 1-2MBG, nor anywhere *near* that
classification, but it didn't work.
Now we're back to normal. He's ignoring Dan :) and being
Mom's bestest buddy in the whole wide world. Who said
dogs are stupid?!
/andrea & Max (do you guys *believe* what she did? I was
*sooooo* ticked!!! It took 10 big biscuits
and about 25 little cookies for me to get
over it. heh.heh.heh. :)
--
**************************************************************************
Andrea Dec (Clever stuff under consideration)
andr...@apollo.hp.com
Hewlett-Packard Company I try not to have too many opinions,
Exeter Computer Mfg. Operation but those I do have are not supported
Workstation Systems Division by HP.
**************************************************************************
Dixie Blake
: What was I to do?!! Max didn't talk to me for two days. :(
: This was an invitation I couldn't resist...FIVE Goldens!
: I was in heaven! So I go over and spend 10-15 minutes
: talking and doing head scratchies and getting slobbered
: on and kissed.
No self respecting Golden lover could possibly resist, Andrea.
FIVE Goldens....heaven!!! Hope you gave them some scratchies
for me too. I can just picture them crowding around for the
attention.
: Then, I go home. Dan lets Max out through the garage door,
: and Max is all happyhappy,joyjoy 'cause MOM'S HOME!!!!
: He's leaping all over the place, and picks up his ball,
: and then SNIFF. And then sniffsniffsniffsniffsniffSNORT,
I went to the dog show in Marin county and was sitting on the
grass... doing absolutely nothing but watching the Great Danes
prancing around the ring... when up wiggled this 16 week old
Bernese Mountain Pup... well, OF COURSE, I told it to go away
'cause my dog would be upset, but it just wiggled its way
into my lap and FORCED me to pet it.
Well...upon arrival home it took Amber Lee about 1/2 second
to notice something was amiss...she immediately attached her
nose to my leg and kept it attached to my leg no matter where
I walked for about 30 minutes. Amber Lee has the disadvantage
that if she pouts, there's no one to turn to.. so it's the
stuck nose routine.
: /andrea & Max (do you guys *believe* what she did? I was
: *sooooo* ticked!!! It took 10 big biscuits
: and about 25 little cookies for me to get
: over it. heh.heh.heh. :)
Dixie Lee and Amber Lee (25 COOKIES???? I only got about 6
for suffering at the vets!!! huuummmmmm
I need some mom-training advice.!)
Beth R. Sanders
>/andrea & Max (do you guys *believe* what she did? I was
> *sooooo* ticked!!! It took 10 big biscuits
> and about 25 little cookies for me to get
> over it. heh.heh.heh. :)
>--
Andrea, I am so glad to be back in the rpd newsgroup. Been off-line for a
couple of months and boy, have I missed your stories. By the way, you got off
cheap; just 10/25? Ginger would have pouted until I went into guilt overload
and gave her a new bone or an entire bag of treats!
Beth
Ginger's Mommy
Holly
>
> I pulled into a parking space at the grocery store and looked
> over to the car next to me (Sable wagon) and saw FIVE
> Golden Retrievers. All the windows were halfway down, so I
> said to them all, "Oh, look at all of you! Aren't you *such*
> pretty boys and girls!" (this being said, of course, in your
> best talking-to-babies-or-dogs voice). Well, all the heads
> came popping out the windows and I could see all the tails
> wagging through the glass.
>
> This was an invitation I couldn't resist...FIVE Goldens!
> I was in heaven! So I go over and spend 10-15 minutes
> talking and doing head scratchies and getting slobbered
> on and kissed.
Well, you'd go nuts with the woman who takes the pictures of Winter and
Chloe... she has 13 (count 'em, THIRTEEN) Goldens... (and one honorary
Golden... :-)
-Holly (who thinks Max would *NEVER* talk to Mommy again)
Andrea Dec
|> Andrea Dec (andr...@apollo.HP.COM) wrote:
|> I went to the dog show in Marin county and was sitting on the
|> grass... doing absolutely nothing but watching the Great Danes
|> prancing around the ring... when up wiggled this 16 week old
|> Bernese Mountain Pup... well, OF COURSE, I told it to go away
|> 'cause my dog would be upset, but it just wiggled its way
|> into my lap and FORCED me to pet it.
I just *hate* when puppies are around. They don't listen and
their entire reason for existence is to get you to pet them and
pay attention to them, so that when your own dog sees you, the
next few hours (or days, in Max's case) are spent explaining
the situation and trying to bribe your way back into their good
graces. The Puppy Conspiracy.
|> Well...upon arrival home it took Amber Lee about 1/2 second
|> to notice something was amiss...she immediately attached her
|> nose to my leg and kept it attached to my leg no matter where
|> I walked for about 30 minutes. Amber Lee has the disadvantage
|> that if she pouts, there's no one to turn to.. so it's the
|> stuck nose routine.
Ah yes. It's amazing how they do this. It does look a little
odd when someone sees this phenomenon occur...."Howdja get your
dog's nose attached to your leg like that? Is it sewed on?"
(This from the seven year old human next door.)
|> Dixie Lee and Amber Lee (25 COOKIES???? I only got about 6
|> for suffering at the vets!!! huuummmmmm
|> I need some mom-training advice.!)
/andrea & Max (This is "Max's Ten-Step Method to Getting LOTS
of Cookies":
Step 1: Ignore them for quite a while
Step 2: Give them sharkeye when they are talking
to you, but then turn away real hurt-like
Step 3: When they start to ignore you back, then
let out a long sigh and a pitiful nose-
whistle (puts the attention back on you)
Step 4: Give them several reproachful looks.
(Best if done with sharkeye method)
Step 5: (They should have given you a couple of
cookies by now.)
Curl up into a little ball and shiver
once in a while. Don't shiver constantly,
it's much more effective if you just do it
occasionally.
Step 6: If you got a shot, then kind of stumble
near the cookie cupboard and lay down
right near it. Sigh occasionally.
Step 7: If you had your toes cut off, then go
to the cookie cupboard, stare at it, and
raise one of your paws off the ground and
whimper. (This is REAL effective!)
Step 8: Act weird. If you normally lay on the
sofa or love seat, then go into a dark
corner and curl up into a tiny ball.
This drives them NUTS! (you should hear
lots of "ooooo Sweetie, what's wrong...poor
thing, what did they *do* to you at that
place?" This is real cookie-bait.
Step 9: Stumble around a little bit like you're
groggy. Don't do it too much though, cuz
then they'll think if they give you cookies
you'll barf them up.
Step 10: After doing all this, go over and give them
ONE little token kiss and lay your head in
their lap. By this time they'll be so
grateful you love them again, they'll pretty
much just give you the keys to the cookie
cupboard. )
Andrea Dec
Oooooooo. THIRTEEN??! My first thought is "Is she NUTS?" My
second thought is "Hoo-boy, is that expensive!".
|> -Holly (who thinks Max would *NEVER* talk to Mommy again)
/andrea (I'd have to purchase *bazillions* of biscuits and do
nothing except sit them and feed them to him one after
the other for about a week.)
Kathy S Leggitt
[10 steps to get lots of cookies:]
> Step 7: If you had your toes cut off, then go
> to the cookie cupboard, stare at it, and
> raise one of your paws off the ground and
> whimper. (This is REAL effective!)
Yup, Kari agrees!
Dixie Blake
Great list Max! I'll start on it tonight... of course I've recovered from
the vet visit, but I can use the ole "You left me alone all day" routine.
: /andrea & Max (This is "Max's Ten-Step Method to Getting LOTS
: of Cookies":
:
: Step 4: Give them several reproachful looks.
: (Best if done with sharkeye method)
Yeah..I've already got that one down pat. Sometimes the sad, "I'm abused, but
I still love you" look works too. Especially if someone who is new is around
and mom can worry about her pup-ownership image.
: Step 6: If you got a shot, then kind of stumble
: near the cookie cupboard and lay down
: right near it. Sigh occasionally.
Would it help if I just leeeaaaannn on the cupboard?
: Step 8: Act weird.
Noooo problem!!!
: Step 9: Stumble around a little bit like you're
: groggy. Don't do it too much though, cuz
: then they'll think if they give you cookies
: you'll barf them up.
I probably shouldn't do this one....I'm epileptic, and mom just might assume
I've had a seizure...(being a little groggy afterward is a symptom)...and
off to the vets I would go!
: Step 10: After doing all this, go over and give them
: ONE little token kiss and lay your head in
: their lap. By this time they'll be so
: grateful you love them again, they'll pretty
: much just give you the keys to the cookie
: cupboard. )
The keys to the cookie cupboard!!! oh boy!!! There IS life after going to the
vet!!
Thanks for the tips... you're a PAL...
Amber Lee (1-2MBG, 1-2MVG, MaxGirlfriendNumberOne, "I want the Kookie
Kupboard Keys!)
andr...@apollo.hp.com
|> Andrea Dec (andr...@apollo.HP.COM) wrote:
|> : near the cookie cupboard and lay down
|> : right near it. Sigh occasionally.
|>
|> Would it help if I just leeeaaaannn on the cupboard?
Leaning is even better, as long as you incorporate an occasional
sigh.
|> : Step 9: Stumble around a little bit like you're
|> : groggy. Don't do it too much though, cuz
|> : then they'll think if they give you cookies
|> : you'll barf them up.
|>
|> I probably shouldn't do this one....I'm epileptic, and mom just might assume
|> I've had a seizure...(being a little groggy afterward is a symptom)...and
|> off to the vets I would go!
Hmmmm, you're right. Skip this one. I'll work on another Step 9
for you and let you know what it is.
|> : Step 10: After doing all this, go over and give them
|> : ONE little token kiss and lay your head in
|> : their lap. By this time they'll be so
|> : grateful you love them again, they'll pretty
|> : much just give you the keys to the cookie
|> : cupboard. )
|>
|> The keys to the cookie cupboard!!! oh boy!!! There IS life after going to the
|> vet!!
You know, I didn't get at the computer for a coupla days cuz Mom was
real busy, but if I had known you had to go to the v*t, I would have
saved you! They always try to give me cookies at that place, but I
just drop them on the floor and mom takes it out to the car and gives
it to me then. Dr. Mead feels real bad when I do this, but I'm just
trying to make a point. Actually, I used to like going there until
I got my you-know-whats cut off and ever since then, I hate it.
PLUS, Dr. Mead is always telling mom to put me on a diet...that's
really evil. Just cuz her three Goldens are in *perfect* shape,
doesn't mean that we all have to be.
See ya!
/Max (1-2 MBG, AmberLeeBoyfriendNumberOne, #1 Cookie Weaseler)
Dixie Blake
: You know, I didn't get at the computer for a coupla days cuz Mom was
: real busy, but if I had known you had to go to the v*t, I would have
: saved you! They always try to give me cookies at that place, but I
: just drop them on the floor and mom takes it out to the car and gives
: it to me then. Dr. Mead feels real bad when I do this, but I'm just
: trying to make a point. Actually, I used to like going there until
: I got my you-know-whats cut off and ever since then, I hate it.
: PLUS, Dr. Mead is always telling mom to put me on a diet...that's
: really evil. Just cuz her three Goldens are in *perfect* shape,
: doesn't mean that we all have to be.
:
No problem if your mom was busy.. more profit sharing makes for more
T-R-E-A-T-S!!!! I may even get a NEW doggie bed this Christmas (don't tell
mom I know).
Yeck...a diet...v*ts...what are they good for? *I* think they just like to
see us suffer all the while they're telling our moms that they care about
our well being. Dr. Hartley muttered something about 3 or 4 pounds to my
mom.. but then he said that I was doing so well and looking so good (preen)
that she shouldn't worry about it. Of course, mom was still recovering from
teetering on her high heels, I'm not sure she heard any of that.
You sure have a lot of will power, Max.. I *never* turn down a T-R-E-A-T
from the v*t.. they are just like the little round candies mom gives me
every morning (they come from her vitamin cupboard, but I'm SURE that they
are candies).
We had a big rain and thunderstorm yesterday so last night I was REALLY glad
to see mom. ALL of my toys were outside and I didn't want to get WET..neither
did mom, so she got out some indoor stuff and I did SearchAndRescue games.
Mom said I only rescued my play towels, but *I* think I'm a great SAR dog.
Talk to ya soon...
Amber Lee (1-2MBG, 1-2MVG, MaxGirlfriendNumberOne)
Kathy S Leggitt
>andr...@apollo.HP.COM wrote:
>You sure have a lot of will power, Max.. I *never* turn down a T-R-E-A-T
>from the v*t.. they are just like the little round candies mom gives me
>every morning (they come from her vitamin cupboard, but I'm SURE that they
>are candies).
I turn down the v*t treats. They have some really yucky ones - hard and
not so tasty. Then the v*t tries rubbing dried L-I-V-E-R on it, and I
lick it off, but I won't eat those rock hard treats.
Amber Lee, I can't believe your mom gives you candy. My mom never
gives ANYONE candy. Huh? Oh. OK. Well, John says actually she does.
Once a year he and Kyle go get candy and he says he'll share. I guess
that means we'll have to make room for John and Kyle in Indiana at
the Halloween party. Maybe they can come as puppies.
>We had a big rain and thunderstorm yesterday so last night I was REALLY glad
>to see mom. ALL of my toys were outside and I didn't want to get WET..neither
>did mom, so she got out some indoor stuff and I did SearchAndRescue games.
>Mom said I only rescued my play towels, but *I* think I'm a great SAR dog.
>Talk to ya soon...
>Amber Lee (1-2MBG, 1-2MVG, MaxGirlfriendNumberOne)
I don't think I could be a SAR dog. I can't even find my KONG when its
under a chair.
Kari (Where are all my toys anyway?)
and Kathy Leggitt (Under the bed, right where she stashed them)
k...@adc.com
Holly
> In article <1994Sep29.182351.8701@ivax>, hst...@indyvax.iupui.edu (Holly) writes:
> |> In article <Cwr32...@apollo.hp.com>, andr...@apollo.HP.COM (Andrea Dec) writes:
> |> >
> |> > This was an invitation I couldn't resist...FIVE Goldens!
> |> > I was in heaven! So I go over and spend 10-15 minutes
> |> > talking and doing head scratchies and getting slobbered
> |> > on and kissed.
> |>
> |> Well, you'd go nuts with the woman who takes the pictures of Winter and
> |> Chloe... she has 13 (count 'em, THIRTEEN) Goldens... (and one honorary
> |> Golden... :-)
>
> Oooooooo. THIRTEEN??! My first thought is "Is she NUTS?" My
> second thought is "Hoo-boy, is that expensive!".
My thought is... think of the *POOP* she has to clean up!!!!!
and ... how does she *walk* them all?!?!? I have two and they
make me nuts! (Apparently her neighborhood has a 3 dog limit
supposedly... but the neighbors have never realized that those 3 Goldens
don't look the same all the time. (Let alone the other dog... can't
remember what it really is, but it's not a Golden.)
-Holly
Andrea Dec
|> andr...@apollo.HP.COM wrote:
|>
|> : PLUS, Dr. Mead is always telling mom to put me on a diet...that's
|> : really evil. Just cuz her three Goldens are in *perfect* shape,
|> : doesn't mean that we all have to be.
|>
|> No problem if your mom was busy.. more profit sharing makes for more
|> T-R-E-A-T-S!!!! I may even get a NEW doggie bed this Christmas (don't tell
|> mom I know).
This is SO true....I usually get lotsa goodies around profit sharing
time. I also have to usually go to the Evil Place to get pretty. :(
|> Yeck...a diet...v*ts...what are they good for? *I* think they just like to
|> see us suffer all the while they're telling our moms that they care about
|> our well being. Dr. Hartley muttered something about 3 or 4 pounds to my
|> mom.. but then he said that I was doing so well and looking so good (preen)
|> that she shouldn't worry about it. Of course, mom was still recovering from
|> teetering on her high heels, I'm not sure she heard any of that.
3 OR 4 POUNDS????!!!!!! I always hear "10". Hmmmmm...maybe that's
just how beautiful I am on a scale of 1-10, and not that I have to
lose 10 pounds. Last time they told me I was "perfect", which, of
course, I already knew.
|> You sure have a lot of will power, Max.. I *never* turn down a T-R-E-A-T
|> from the v*t..
I'm just trying to prove a point...I hate it there, and I want to make
sure everyone knows that.
|> We had a big rain and thunderstorm yesterday so last night I was REALLY glad
|> to see mom. ALL of my toys were outside and I didn't want to get WET..neither
|> did mom, so she got out some indoor stuff and I did SearchAndRescue games.
|> Mom said I only rescued my play towels, but *I* think I'm a great SAR dog.
YUCK! I HATE rain! I've learned how to walk under dad's big golf
umbrella with mom since I always make her go out with me when it
rains. Of course, I can't do my business in my most favortest places
cuz the umbrella won't fit through the woods, but it's better than
nothing.
See ya!
/Max (1-2MBG, 1-2MVG, AmberLeeBoyfriendNumberOne)
Dixie Blake
: This is SO true....I usually get lotsa goodies around profit sharing
: time. I also have to usually go to the Evil Place to get pretty. :(
:
: 3 OR 4 POUNDS????!!!!!! I always hear "10". Hmmmmm...maybe that's
: just how beautiful I am on a scale of 1-10, and not that I have to
: lose 10 pounds. Last time they told me I was "perfect", which, of
: course, I already knew.
Yep, that must be it 'cause we both know you're a number 10.
Mom's are sure weird... they have the brains to recognize a 1-2MBG but not
the brains to leave us alone.. I mean, when nature gives you EVERYTHING
perfect they still discuss d-i-e-t-s with Evil V*ts and take us to
Evil Places to get tortured and our toes cut off. Go figure.
: I'm just trying to prove a point...I hate it there, and I want to make
: sure everyone knows that.
Ooohhhh, I *love* a dog that sticks to his principles.
: YUCK! I HATE rain! I've learned how to walk under dad's big golf
: umbrella with mom since I always make her go out with me when it
: rains. Of course, I can't do my business in my most favortest places
: cuz the umbrella won't fit through the woods, but it's better than
: nothing.
:
WOODS????? You have woods to poop in regularly??? Gosh, I only get to go to
WOODS for a special outing. I have to "do my business" on the lawn or on the
gravel area.. and mom makes me go out without a slicker, boots, or an
umbrella. But when I come rrruuunnnning back, I get a nice towel rub down
and a T-R-E-A-T. 'Course I like to try to get the towel in my mouth...shouldn't
*everything* be carried in my mouth?
I've got to go now.. mom should be home soon and I need to walk her and play
with her.. she doesn't get much exercise sitting at a workstation all day, so
I help out.