WOOF/CHAT: dog code

[Neefer Duir]

This is a version 1.1b of Dog Code. I admit to plagerizing the Cat
Code, but why do it again, if someone else has already done it.

Variables
B+(+) means that you're normally B+ but occasionally B++
C>+ means you're currently C but hanker after more
?B means that you have no clue what the B category means for you
!W means that you'd rather not say
W@ would mean a certain level of fluidity, generally W but open to
change

Name: Your dog's name

Breed: Your dog's breed

If you don't know your dog's breed, guess or put don't know.
For dogs that are of mixed heritage, the following are
suggestions only:
Cross, Mix, Best of all Breeds, or Mutt
Or list the breeds that you know: Lab/Aust Shep

Color:
B Black
C Chocolate
F Fawn
G Grey/Silver
L Liver
N Brown
O Orange
R Red
U Blue
T Tan
W White
Y Yellow (all shades, example lemon)

modifier
b brindle
o spotted
r roan patterns
p parti-colored
i piebald
f freckles
s speckles
t ticked
m mask

Colours can be combined in descending order of area (eg: B+T Black
and Tan) Modifiers can be applied to individual colours by
concatenation (eg: W+Go = white with grey patches/spots), or
groups of colours by use of parenthesis (eg: (B+N)b+W= Black
and Brown brindle w/white).

Eye Color
O brown
G gold
B black
L blue
H hazel
Y yellow

Odd colored eyes can be separated by '/', eg: L/G.
Colors can also be added for mixed colors, eg: O+B = brown-black

Coat:
c++ My hair is everywhere, and if you don't brush me for 20
mintues every day, my hair will be a matted mess.
c+ I shed quite a bit.
c I shed some, but doesn't every doggie?
c- I have short hair, so even though I do shed, it doesn't carpet
the floor.
c-- I do not shed.

c! I require grooming beyond brushing and bathing.
c* I admit to blowing my coat once a year.

Age

y.m e.g. 5=years, 1.2=1year 2 months, .6=6 months

Sex

X Female, spayed, no interest.
X+ Female, spayed, but still interested.
X++ Female, intact, but not particularly excitable.
X+++ I am a puppy factory.
Y Male, neutered, no interest.
Y+ Male, neutered, but still interested.
Y++ Male, intact, but not particularly excitable.
Y+++ I would go thru a burning building to get at a female in heat.

X+++> indicates that spaying shall occur shortly.

Size
L--- You could hold me in one hand (less than 5 pounds)
L-- You could hold me with one hand (less than 10 pounds)
L- Maybe you could hold me with one hand but two would be
better (less than 25 pounds)
L I'm a medium sized dog (less than 50 pounds)
L+ I'm a big dog (less than 75 pounds)
L++ I'm a large, big dog (less than 100 pounds)
L+++ I'm a gigantic dog (less than 150 pounds)
L++++ I'm larger than most hoomins.

Weight
W--- My hips are sticking out.
W-- My ribs are sticking out.
W- I'm a lean doggy.
W I weigh just right, and the TED said so.
W+ It's all muscle.
W++ I may be fluffy, but is that so bad?
W+++ TED said I had to give up all treats except orange ptuis.

Ears
E-- My ears are so small as to be almost invisible.
E- My ears are smaller than most.
E My ears are unremarkable
E+ My ears are larger than most.
E++ My ears are very large. Floppy only: hang below my head.
E+++ My ears are larger than my head.

Ef My ears are floppy
Ep My ears are pointy
Ep/f One ear is up and one is down.

Walks
w-- I'll just wait here for you
w- Well, if I must go with you, ...
w I like walks.
w+ I'm ready to go for a walk anytime.
w++ I'm running laps around the yard because I haven't been walked
in the last hour.

Temperment
T--- If you look at me, I will submissively urinate.
T-- If you approach me, I will cower and tremble
T- I'd rather you didn't touch me.
T Fine, touch me.
T+ Pet me, please.
T++ Pet me, kiss me, love me.
T+++ I love you, I love you, I love you!

Modifiers:
A aggressive and I really might bite because I don't like
people.
f I only act aggressive (lunging, barking, snapping), but I'm
doing it because I'm afraid.
D dominant. "Oh yeah! You come over here and make me sit!"
a I'm aloof.

Activity
A+++ All the photos of me are blurred.
A++ I am always getting into, under or on top of things and am
hardly ever still.
A+ If you don't play with me, I'll find a way to play by myself.
A It's easy to get me to play, but I like to sleep, too.
A- I work very hard at sleeping, but like to chase
the occasional toy.
A-- I may show signs of life in the presence of an excellent toy.
A--- They thought I was dead, until they got out a piggy ear.

Eating
e+++ Nothing even remotely edible is safe when I'm around.
e++ I'm always hungry. What are you having?
e+ I would rather eat than play with a toy.
e I enjoy good food, but sometimes the stuff I get isn't fit to
eat.
e- I'll wait until the others have eaten.
e-- I would rather play with a toy than eat.
e--- I refuse to eat.

Drool
d+++ I have texturized the walls with drool; no article of
clothing is safe.
d++ I can fling drool.
d+ Ok, so my lips are a little loose, big deal. I only dribble
water a little ways from the bowl.
d Sometimes, if I smell something really tasty, I might drool.
d- I have very tight lips.

Barking
B+++ I love to bark. I bark when I get up in the morning, I bark
all day, and I like to bark before I go to bed. Heck, I bark
in bed.
B++ If it moves, I will bark at it.
B+ If I smell a dog, I will bark.
B I bark to get my hoomin's attention, when I'm excited, and when
something dangerous or really weird is happening.
B- I bark if necessary.
B-- I bark only if it is a dire emergency.
B--- I do not bark.

B! I bark on command.
B? I can't bark.

Fetching
F-- Fetching is stoopid. If you had wanted that ball, you never
would have thrown it.
F- I'll chase it if you throw it, but I won't bring it back.
F I'll chase it if you throw it, and I might bring it back.
F+ I'll chase it, and bring it back.
F++ Throw it again, throw it again.

F! I'll chase it and bring it back, but you have to chase me to
get it our of my mouf.

Problem Solving, Curiosity, & some Eagerness To Please:
(From the infamous _Intelligence_of_Dogs_)
IQ+++ I'm so smart that if you don't keep me occupied, I will
destroy everything around me, escape the yard, and, in
general, be a problem dog.
IQ++ I learn a new command after 3 repitions, tops.
IQ+ It is easy to learn a new command.
IQ I'm trying!
IQ- Okay, so I forgot the command. It's not my fault that we
didn't practice.
IQ-- I have no curiosity about anything, and it is safe to leave
me with only a few toys because I would just as soon sleep
in the sun as anything else.
IQ--- Huh, what was that command again?

IQ! Even though I rated dumb in that stoopid book, I have
obedience titles.
IQ* I rated smart in that book, and I have obedience titles.

Cuddlyness:
C-- If you touch me, I'll try to bite you.
C- I'd rather not be petted, thank you.
C I like petting.
C+ Pet me some more!
C++ What do you mean I have to get out of you lap!

C++! It's not my fault that your lap isn't big enough for a 150
pound dog.

Nail Cutting:
t-- You're killing me! Your cutting off my toes! I'm dying!
t- No, please, anything but that.
t I'd rather lie with my feet tucked under me.
t+ I'll let you do it, but I won't forgive you for it for at least
10 minutes.
t++ Did you cut my nails? I hadn't noticed.

Herding
H++ If it doesn't get into line, I will nip it to keep it in line.
H+ I like to herd.
H I can learn to herd.
H? What's herding?

Agility
a+++ I can walk the teeter-totter!
a++ I can jump over it, climb on top of if, crawl through it, or
crawl under, and I have never pooped inside of a tunnel.
a+ I like to climb things, but I get stuck.
a I play wiff my hoomins on the kiddy structures at the park.
a- I couldn't climb a ladder if my life depended on it.
a-- I trip over my own feet.

a! I am afraid of the agility structures.
a? I don't understand what you want me to do.

Swimming:
s--- I'm afraid of/hate the water, and I'm not getting near it.
s-- I sink like a stone.
s- I like to splash around, but if the water gets too high on me,
I'm afraid of/hate it.
s I'll go in the water with my favorite hoomin.
s+ I'll happily chase a ball or dumbell into the water.
s++ I'll happily leap into the water on command.
s+++ I'll leap into the water on my own, and my hoomin has to come
in after me to get me out.

Big Heads:
BH+++ I have a large, blocky head with a blunt, thick nose.
BH++ I have a large head.
BH+ I have a blunt, thick nose.
BH My head is neither large or small, and my nose is neither
long and pointy or blunt and thick.
BH- I have a small head.
BH-- I have a pointy nose.
BH--- I have a small head and a pointy nose.
BH! I know what Shy Sara is speaking about when she mentions
"the unfortunate deformity".
BH* I am a member of Big Heads International.

Woof:
WOOF++++ I post a WOOF article to rec.pets.dogs.misc every day.
WOOF+++ I post regularly, and I read every WOOF post.
WOOF++ I post occasionally, and I read most WOOF posts.
WOOF+ I read some WOOF, and I've posted at least once.
WOOF I read the WOOFs.
WOOF- I do not read WOOF posts.
WOOF-- WOOFing is silly, and besides I don't have time for such
nonsense.
WOOF--- I hate WOOFing, and I have WOOF in my killfile.
WOOF---- I post antiWOOF articles because WOOFing annoys me, and I
don't have a real newsreader that has killfile abilities.
WOOF? WOOF? Huh?

Rainbow Bridge:
RB indicates the dogs resides at the Rainbow Bridge
--
Jennifer in California | Do I contradict myself?
oa ktr ee@ ai mn et. c o m | Very well then I contradict myself
http://www.aimnet.com/~oaktree/ | Walt Whitman (1819-1892), "Song of Myself"
**I may have antispammed my posts, so effortless replys are not possible.**