MEOW:CHAT FAQ

[Kathy g.]

Seems a timely moment to repost this. Fellow MEOWERS, feel free to add to
this list. For some reason I've been archiving it. so I'll keep the
updates too.

__________________________________________________________
MEOW FAQ follows:

Chester and Clarence

if there is going to be a faq for meowchat dont you hoomins think you
oughta ask us to help put it together we might have some good ideas for
you and we can help you keep it on track like talking about us more and
not all this silly innerneck stuff

Phydeaux, Bauzeur & Squeak

We agree. As we all know when it is 5.30 in the morning and time to be
fed NOW, hoomins can take ages to get round to doing things, so we
cats should take over. At the end, we can hand it over to them like a
dead mouse and say "Here it is, you can finish it off".

We don't mind being the assemblers of contributions, unless some other
kitties would like to do it. You can post here, or email to us with
your suggestions. Here's some ideas - feel free to suggest alterations
and additions, we won't hiss. We've got our hoomin to check our
speling to make sure it's acceptable to hoomin readers.

1. What is Meowchat?

Meowchat is where us kitties talk to each other, and pass on
interesting and useful information, like how to treat your human and
how to open clam shells. *Kitties also post food for each other.*
It is almost exclusively for cats, but humans
and other life-forms are welcome to join in as long as they make it
clear who they are. Humans pretending to be cats are definitely not
permitted to post.

2. Why is the spelling so strange?

All of us are, of course, highly intelligent. Most of us have tertiary
edukashun, and there are many regular posters with Ph Ds and so on.
However, we do not consider ourselves bound by human rules and
regulations and will therefore spell words any way we please. We all
spell better in English than humans do in Cattish and, besides, how
good was your spelling when you were two years old? *Some of us also have
difficulty spelling because our paws don't fit the human keyboard or because we
telepathically send our posts to our humans, who type them for us, and
something gets lost in the translation. Some of us, though, send
telephatically directly to the computer, which spells most words the way humans
do. Those of us who do that have difficulty spelling things strangely.*

3. How do I post in meowchat?

It's easy. You just say "Hi, my name is.......... I'm a beautiful cat
and would like to talk to all you other kitties". If you are starting
a new thread, please put MEOW somewhere in the subject line, so that
humans don't get it mixed up with their posts, otherwise they're
likely to get upset. If you include food in your first posting, it
speeds up the process of making friends, but this is not necessary.

4. What is bad Netiquette in Meowchat?

- Don't insult anycats body shape. All cats are, by definition,
purrrfect.
- Don't eat food unless it is directed at you, or all cats. *If you do, you
may be called a food purrglar.*
- Don't send catnip to a cat who is a reformed nipaholic.
- Don't post while standing on the worktop, or your human may get
upset.
- Don't interfere in winkwink relationships.
- If you are using your human's computer, be very careful about
hairballs. If you try to post one to another cat and miss, you could
find yourself unable to post for a while.
- If your human has to pay for computer time by the minute, please
keep *y*our mind on your posting, and don't break off to play with the
computer mouse while you're online.

If you are going to be a serious Net user, the book "Internet for
Cats" has a lot of further information on Netiquette for Cats.

5. You use a lot of jargon in Meowchat - what does it all mean?

TED - The Evil Doctor. The men and women that our humans call Vets.

Growlmonster - vacuum cleaner(sum call it the antiKrist)

Winkwinkfriend - A serious and long-term relationship between a female
and male cat who have both been fixed when they weren't even broke.

ROTFLMTO - Rolled On The Floor Laughing My Tail Off.

Mummy/Daddy/Meowmie- a polite word for our humans, instead of the usual terms
we use, like two-legged, tailless can-opener *or human slave*.
This is intended to
flatter them into giving us lots of access time.

OCC/BCC/TCC etc - Orange Cat Club, Black Cat Club, Tuxedo Cat Club and
so on. Subgroups of Meowchat.

ISP - We don't know what this means either. It's the excuse humans use
when they won't let us post for days and days. They always say it's
the ISP's fault.

6. How do I open clam shells?

The do-it-yourself way is with a crowbar, or lie on your back with the
clams on your chest and hit them with a rock. Alternatively, send them
to another cat, who would be happy to open them for your and send you
back the nice clean opened clam shells with the nasty insides removed
(heeheehee).

Jaeger, Ebony and Sheba

MEOWCHAT is controversial and someone once suggested a list of answers to
the "problem " Meows create. Iist follows:

meowchat. code M. modifiers:

M--- it's stupid and meowchatters should be shown the door.
M-- it's fun but does my cat really think that way?
M- i'm afraid meowchat is causing some trouble here.
M0 (zero) no opinion or it's in my killfile
M+ hey, this is fun! but i can't do it myself
M++ meowchat rules
M+++ let's get rid of the humans! they post way too much anyway.

--
8 cats 1 d*g and 1 hoomin so far...
[Colette, Lily, Frau Freya, Leon, Burt, Leify, Simba, Puffy, William(a d*g),
& Kathy(a hoomin)]

[Ginger Sackett Glaser]

> 5. You use a lot of jargon in Meowchat - what does it all mean?
>
> TED - The Evil Doctor. The men and women that our humans call Vets.

> Growlmonster - vacuum cleaner(sum call it the antiKrist)
>

TT: The Typist

Gold Spandex:

D*GS

[Kami Scott]

ggl...@minn.net (Ginger Sackett Glaser) wrote:

>> 5. You use a lot of jargon in Meowchat - what does it all mean?
>>
>> TED - The Evil Doctor. The men and women that our humans call Vets.
>
>> Growlmonster - vacuum cleaner(sum call it the antiKrist)
>>

>TT: The Typist
>
>Gold Spandex:
>
>D*GS

(UB: )

----------------------------------------------------
Bootsie, Gizmo, Sassy and canine pal Princess are at
http://www.interport.net/~kamiscot
...and classic quotations from r.p.c.'s "Meowchat"