The Baronial Secret History

[Ioseph of Locksley]

THE REAL, HONEST, NOT-FOR-PRIME-TIME HISTORY OF THE BARRENY OF
SUNDRAGGIN
or: Medieval Futileism for Fun and Prophet
by Lord Anon y Moose

Translated from the Middle Semi-High Urdu thru computer augmentation,
amnd provided by the House Locks-'n'-Keys Bathroom Reading Service.

NOTE: This is a LAMPOON. This is not a CARTOON. This is not a SPITOON.
It is a LAMPOON. Warning: Slippery when wet! Do not try this alone!
All Characters herein described are FICTIONAL, and any resemblance
between them, your dog, cat, aardvark or other persons living or dead
is purely intentional. Post no Bills. This means You!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Welcome to the Barreny of SunDraggin! We hope that you will enjoy
your stay in our Barreny, but must remind you of the following:

1) You are required to have all your shots up to date, including
Plague,
2) Practice safe sex: use Kingdoms, please!
3) Always remember to wash your hands after politics, and
4) Remember what comes after the Spankings!

The Floundering Barreness was Alice, late of Wonderland, who
floundered the Barreny out of boredom.
She found the land that now comprises the Barreny of SunDraggin
by following a rabbi down a rabbi-hole. The rabbi had said something like
"Updoc" and she wanted to find out more about this strange word. Merry
Margarine of the Kirward Derby went with her, to escape from Icky-Thir.
She followed the rabbi across miles of barren desert, asking it
"What's Updoc?" until she wound up in Goodyear, the Land of the Rubber
People.
She ended up in Goodyear, because the rabbi had set a trebuchet
as a trap, which threw her a Great Distance. Goodyear was where she landed,
which is why she is a Landed Barreness. As a member of House Locks-'n'-Keys,
the sound of her landing gave a new Word to the Society for Creative
Anarchism, Ink., and thus was born the "Locks-'n'-Keys Plop."
Taking the land was easy, because the Barreny of Ache-'n'-Belch
was too busy shooting itself in the foot, and thus was not paying attention
to the nefarious goings-on in its Western half.
The Lend-Lease agreement with Caid, and the military advisors
from the MidRealm and Drachenwald, didn't hurt either. The rumor that House
Locks-and-Keys had THE BOMB helped a lot, too.
A set of Fancy Throwns was made for the Barreny, which were kept
on the roof of the thatch hut by the river. Unfortunately, they fell thru the
roof, which proves that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow
Throwns.
(more)

--
Uucp: ...{gatech,ames,rutgers}!ncar!asuvax!stjhmc!29!Ioseph.of.Locksley
Internet: Ioseph.of...@f29.n114.z1.fidonet.org