OH: A Trip to Caesar Creek
Robert Neinast
Question: How do you count the number of topfree women at a beach?
[Answer at the end of this article--just to make you read the whole
thing.]
Since all the ruckus about House Bill 188 here in Ohio was started
by Representative Terwilleger being upset about the topfree sun-
bathing at Caesar Creek State Park, and being that I've never
been there, Wednesday, at the invitation of the "sometime, kind of,
maybe" beach mayor and chief instigator Roger Davis, my family
and I spent the afternoon at Caesar Creek, just to see what it was like.
We got there at about 1:00pm. Roger and a few friends were already
there to greet us. Caesar Creek has a much smaller beach than
Alum Creek. The beach at Alum Creek is about half a mile long.
The beach at Caesar Creek is about half that. What this means
is that, thonged or topfree people at Caesar Creek are much more
easily seen by others than at Alum Creek. It turns out that
Roger and company were at the midway part of the beach (almost
exactly in front of the lifeguard tower).
When we arrived, there were already 4 thonged women and 2 thonged
men there. One of those women was also topfree. As the day wore
on (and after my wife added herself to the topfree "crowd"), another
of the thonged women also went topfree (for a total of three).
We found out later that the first woman had gone topfree at
Caesar Creek before; she was actually quite nonchalant (and, if
I may say "bold") about it, even walking about and entering the
water without worrying about it. It was the first time for the
other woman; it looked like she needed to get a feel for the
lay-of-the-land first.
I mentioned that we were right in front of the lifeguard tower.
The lifeguard gave no problems at all, and in fact, he deflected
some of the guff that came from one rather obnoxious woman
who was some distance away (the lifeguard admonished her son
for throwing sand--she wanted him instead to do something about
the "topless" women; he told her that it was perfectly legal,
but throwing sand was not allowed). By the way, we were not
bothered by this woman; we only found out about it later while
talking to the lifeguard. (We also found out later that this
woman called Roger and me "male whores").
The only real incident was that a man rather near to us
was drinking wine from a Pepsi can and got quite drunk (alcohol
is not allowed in Ohio state parks). Eventually, a park ranger
was called to deal with him. However, topfree was not an issue,
as the park ranger walked right by all of us without comment.
One thing that I noticed was that, even though Caesar Creek
has more topfree women (I heard from Roger that on Tuesday,
there were 10 topfree women there; this also generated a few
complaints), the rest of the crowd seems to generate
more complaints than anything I have seen at Alum Creek (and
Roger verifies this, too). This might have something to do
with Caesar Creek's having a smaller beach (and more chance
of overlap), but it also appears that Alum Creek, being right
near Columbus, has a crowd that is a bit more cosmopolitan
and accepting. Another difference is that Caesar Creek has
a number of rocks lying around on the beach and in the water.
Watch your step! On the other hand, these rocks come from
a prime fossil-collecting part of Ohio, so they were full
of fossilized shells, which the kids loved.
Anyways, it looks like both Alum Creek and Caesar Creek are
reasonable places to go if you want the thonged and/or
topfree experience. We had a nice day at the beach.
Question: How do you count the number of topfree women at a beach?
Answer: Count the number of bare female breasts and divide by two.
Regards,
Bob
--
". . . and shun the frumious Bandersnatch."
Robert Neinast (nei...@lucent.com)
Lucent Technologies - Bell Labs (Columbus, OH)