Life at the end of the tunnel

[kom...@yahoo.com]

Guys,

I just read of the RMPer who ended his life, and I am sorry to hear
that. I didn't know him, but I have known suicides in my day, as well.
The ensuing outpouring of emotion tells me that he was a pretty
well-liked guy. What this says to me, and what this should say to you,
is that you don't need to wait to tell someone how fucking cool they
are, or how they brighten up your day, until they do something like
this. I know we've all got our daily shit that beats us down and keeps
us isolated from the things that really matter in life (family and
friends), but every now and then, throw someone the random
email/IM/phone call/whatever letting them know what they mean to you.

With that said, my wife and I just brought our second child into the
world yesterday. Let's celebrate life, not death.

SCd

http://www.pbase.com/sirchandestroy/charlie_miller_says_hello

[uNjoyMiceElf]

congratulations!

[kom...@yahoo.com]

uNjoyMiceElf wrote:

> congratulations!

Thanks, man.

[Matthew C. McGrath]

kom...@yahoo.com wrote:
: The ensuing outpouring of emotion tells me that he was a pretty

: well-liked guy. What this says to me, and what this should say to you,
: is that you don't need to wait to tell someone how fucking cool they
: are, or how they brighten up your day, until they do something like
: this. I know we've all got our daily shit that beats us down and keeps
: us isolated from the things that really matter in life (family and
: friends), but every now and then, throw someone the random
: email/IM/phone call/whatever letting them know what they mean to you.

but also understand that depressed people often do not respond to this,
either. it's very dependant on the person. if you've tried to be as
helpful as possible to someone who commits suicide, it's not your fault.
depression is not always logical, and unwanted outcomes arise in spite of
best efforts.

[kom...@yahoo.com]

I understand depression. I also understand that we, as a society, are
reactive in our outpouring of emotion rather than proactive. And you
misconstrued my post if you think I am calling a friendly communique a
suicide panacea. It's not. It is, however, a little ray of sunshine
in someone's bleak existence. Couldn't hurt, could it?

[Matthew C. McGrath]

kom...@yahoo.com wrote:

: I understand depression. I also understand that we, as a society, are

: reactive in our outpouring of emotion rather than proactive. And you
: misconstrued my post if you think I am calling a friendly communique a
: suicide panacea. It's not. It is, however, a little ray of sunshine
: in someone's bleak existence. Couldn't hurt, could it?

didn't mean to contradict your post, just color it. i've lived the
bleakness long enough to know it well, and how actions like jared's come
to pass...

[jimmy, the lighting designer]

you know, honestly, I have been feeling like shit for a couple of weeks.
I felt even worse when i found out that Jared had gone. it made me
feel like shit to see that something had gotten someone so down that
they couldn't bear it anymore.

i have a girlfriend whom i love very much that lives eleven hundred
miles away. depression is something that is ever-present in my life.
but a few minutes ago, i was listening to LP 18 (Bomb Factory, Dallas),
and Loving Cup came on. I smiled, and I turned that fucker up all the
way. The hallway by my office was blaring with sweet happy jam.

I don't really know many of you at all.
However, I always enjoy seeing the posts, and one of these days, we
should organize a meetup - if for nothing at all just to say that we are
happy to be in each other's lives in some form or another.

I am fucking terrified of death. I can't think about it even without
getting depressed. It's possible that it is because I feel I have so
much work to do here in this world, and so many things I want to
accomplish. But each and every one of you, mostly without exception,
make each day that I read and post here a pretty decent experience.

I hope that once in a while I do the same for you. We're a community.

Jim Hutchison

[kom...@yahoo.com]

Matthew C. McGrath wrote:

Sorry to hear that, man. The one thing I've learned in 34 years of
existence is that good things are bound to happen just by hanging in
there!

[Detective John Kimble]

Many congrats on the baby. Can we get some details (name, weight,
height, etc.)?

[Carlisle]

I feel it coming on...

((((((Group Hug))))))

You people are sweet.
Let it grow.
cc

[bzdyelnik]

hey, 'gratz.
throw up a photo on the album if you've got the time.

[mr rapidan]

Congratulations! You look like one happy, tired daddy. And your
family is beautiful!

The moment I saw your subject line, it brought vividly to mind the
birth of our son . . . and now I know that your invocation of the word
"tunnel" was figurative but, at first reading, it was a literal reading
of that word that brought the memory of my son's birth to
consciousness. You see, I was fully in the moment but also a little
bit nervous during the delivery, especially after I found out that the
imagined large team of medical personnel wasn't going to materialize -
besides my wife, the team was the nurse, the doctor, and me - and
everything went quickly and well right up until the final minutes of
the delivery. My wife needed to suck on the oxygen to keep the baby's
oxygen up, but she didn't want to because it was making her sick, and
when she was going back and forth between oxygen and no oxygen, she'd
sorta kinda forget to assist with the pushing, and while things never
really got dicey, the ghost of a problem was beginning to appear on the
radar screen - but the dr grabbed the bull by the horns and as gently
as possible told my wife that she had to suck it up and push the baby
out. So, this whole time, believe it, or not, our child was still
somewhat of an abstract idea to me, and all I could do was comfort my
wife and at the same time help the dr in her mission to get things
going. But then things took a turn for the better, and the dr told me
to get down there between my wife's legs with her and look - and there,
still too many inches from delivery for my comfort, was the in my face
reality of the pointy little hairy head of my beautiful, incredible,
sweet boy. Life at the end of the tunnel.

[kom...@yahoo.com]

Detective John Kimble wrote:
> Many congrats on the baby. Can we get some details (name, weight,
> height, etc.)?

Thanks, my friend. 8lbs, 21", Charlie Eugene Miller. Yes, Eugene.
After Eugene Levy...man that guy is hilarious.

SCd

[kom...@yahoo.com]

This is an excellent encapsulation of the birth process. Before our
daughter was born, I felt exactly the same way you did - she was an
"abstract idea" to me as well. Very well articulated.

SCd

[JB]

Excellent post. It also reminded me of when both of my sons were born.

Thank you for sharing that.

[JB]

Congratulations! Best wishes to you and your growing family. Isn't
parenthood the best experience you've ever had? (yes, even better than
seeing Phish play again!) Wait until you start to notice how different
your two children are.....that part kind of surprised me. I seemed to
expect my second son to be just like my first.....boy, was I ever in for
a surprise!

I'm not sure what my wife and I were thinking, though, when we decided
to go back to the well one more time and try for the girl. We're
expecting #3 in May......then, it's no longer a man-to-man defense.
We'll have to start using the zone......