Elvis' Weight On Other Planets
moor...@iscsvax.uni.edu
"Hunka-Hunka: How much would Elvis weigh on other planets?
"For those who've contemplated that question -- and frankly, who hasn't? --
I've recently stumbled on the 'Elvis On Other Planets Weight Chart.'
"He weighed 255 pounds during the last weeks of his life in 1977. That weight
would have changed greatly if Presley had been elsewhere in the solar system.
(And according to the Weekly World News he has been spotted on Mars.)
"Here's the cosmic poundage:
The Sun 7,140 pounds
Mercury 97 pounds
Venus 232 pounds
The Moon 43 pounds
Mars 97 pounds
Jupiter 648 pounds
Saturn 275 pounds
Uranus 232 pounds
Neptune 303 pounds
Pluto 13 pounds"
Scotto the Malicious
"Because any fool can rip off the local newspaper."
Eli Messinger
> From my friends at the Scripps Howard News Service:
>
> "Hunka-Hunka: How much would Elvis weigh on other planets?
>
> Scotto the Malicious
> "Because any fool can rip off the local newspaper."
And apparently any news service or local newspaper can rip off Spy magazine,
in which this chart first appeared about two years ago.
--
"Route 66 is a giant chute down which everything loose in this country
is sliding into Southern California" --Frank Lloyd Wright
CSNET: e...@almaden.ibm.com / UUNET: ...!uunet!almaden.ibm.com!ebm
RDC
>>And apparently any news service or local newspaper can rip off Spy magazine,
>>in which this chart first appeared about two years ago.
>And I guess Spy magazine can rip-off Angela Instruments catalog, which
>this list appeared in at least 5 years ago.
And I assume the Angela Instruments catalog can rip-off Sinclair
Unlimited, which this list appeared in at least 10 years ago in the
ZX80 manual.
--
Eli Messinger
> And I guess Spy magazine can rip-off Angela Instruments catalog, which
> this list appeared in at least 5 years ago.
Actually, Spy is the source.
The mistake was mine, in forgetting how long ago it was that this was
printed in Spy. It was indeed over 5 years ago, and at the time, many
people (including Angela Instruments, I would bet) borrowed it.
I can go get the exact date of issue in Spy if anyone's really interested.
They (and their readers) documented many of the plagerisms in subsequent
issues.
--
"Phish is good." --James Treworgy, March 18, 1992
rON.
>>> "Hunka-Hunka: How much would Elvis weigh on other planets?
>>And apparently any news service or local newspaper can rip off Spy magazine,
>>in which this chart first appeared about two years ago.
>this list appeared in at least 5 years ago.
And I guess Angela Instruments can rip off the information from a BIRTH MARK
that miraculously appeared not more than TWENTY MINUTES after my birth, just
below my LEFT BUTTOCK, while 'elvis' was being PIPED through the HOSPITAL.
Send me $20 and I'll show you.
r.
Ken Koellner
>--
> "Route 66 is a giant chute down which everything loose in this country
> is sliding into Southern California" --Frank Lloyd Wright
Did you know that Frank Lloyd Wright's son (not his sun, they didn't
have suns back then, they just had Holerith cards and adding machines)
invented, yes it true, -Lincoln Logs-, every kids favorite
construction toy.
--
Prohibition goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control
a man's appetite by legislation and makes crimes out of things that are not
crimes. A prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our
government was founded. - Abraham Lincoln
Nosy
<Organization: PTA BOARD COUNCIL OF THE GREATER UNITED STATES
<Lines: 15
And I assume that Clyde Sinclair can and did rip-off
Altair, who included this data in *ROM* as part
of their first computer well before 1977...
John Q. Public
And I suppose your BUTT can just rip off Plato's Phaedo, in which this list
appeared 2500 years ago:
Phaedo: Yes indeed, Socrates. But please let us direct our attention to
Elvis' weight on other planets.
Socrates: Elvis is not heavy, my friend. He is in fact my brother.
etc, etc...
Nosy
< Christopher L. Goosman...
< > And I guess Spy magazine can rip-off Angela Instruments catalog, which
< > this list appeared in at least 5 years ago.
< Actually, Spy is the source.
No, it was Prohas in Spy Vs. Spy Vs. Spy Vs. Spy!
Daniel Dise
>In article <1992Mar20....@cc.uow.edu.au> dg...@cc.uow.edu.au (Douglas Doe) writes:
>>di...@nightshade.cs.odu.edu (Daniel Dise) writes:
>>
>>>In article <ksi0o4...@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> g...@gakbox.Corp.Sun.COM writes:
>>>>><>>> "Hunka-Hunka: How much would Elvis weigh on other planets?
>>>>>
>>>>><>>in which this chart first appeared about two years ago.
>>>>>
>>>>><>this list appeared in at least 5 years ago.
>>>>>
>>>>><Unlimited, which this list appeared in at least 10 years ago in the
>>>>><ZX80 manual.
>>>>>
>>>>> And I assume that Clyde Sinclair can and did rip-off
>>>>> Altair, who included this data in *ROM* as part
>>>>> of their first computer well before 1977...
>>>>in the Magnon region of France, dating back some 30000 years (give or
>>>>take a week).
>>
>>>And I suppose that it was all fine and dandy for that cave painter to
>>>RIP the idea off of that POOR DEAD perfectly preserved DINOSAUR who had
>>>that table TATTOOED on his BUTT!!!
>>
>>> --Aegis
>>> . . .But I could be wrong . . .
>>
>>And I assume that that bloody dinosaur can get ideas for his tattos from
>>the BIG BANG, which, as we all know, calculated the weight of Elvis
>>on ALL PLANETS! (Of course, if Elvis is GOD, and I am pretty sure he
>>is, at least, the son of God, then, perhaps, this is the answer to life,
>>the universe and everything... to calculate the weight of Elvis on all
>>planets... kind of a self-fulfilling universe).
>>
>>Doug (Well, my REAL name is Elvis).
>>
>
>
>Yeah, well I'M compiling a list of how much the upcoming ELVIS STAMP (US) will
>weigh on other planets. So post your favorite planet/Elvis Stamp weight.
>
>Don't Email them, because I'll be out of town. I'm going Elvis hunting in
>the Upper Penninsula of Michigan.
>
>Jeff Hanna
QUICK, DOUG! HIDE! HE'S GOT A GUN! JEFF'S GOT A GUN! JEFF'S GOING TO
SHOOT ELVIS! BUT ELVIS IS GOD! DOUG SAID SO HIMSELF!
. . .wait a minute . . .
I've already figured out that my pet cat's God, you can't fool me . . .
I'M GOING TO BE FAMOUS AND WEALTHY! MY PET CAT IS ELVIS!
--Aegis
Just don't step on my blue suede shoes!
--
"I've been wading thru all of this unbelievable junk and wondering if I
should've given the world to the monkeys" Elvis Costello, _God's_Comic_
My opinions! MINE MINE MINE! You can't have them even if you want them! MINE!
---This .sig protected by .SIG ANTI-VIRUS V1.73 Get your copy today!---
Richard Stueven
>
><>>And apparently any news service or local newspaper can rip off Spy magazine,
><>>in which this chart first appeared about two years ago.
>
><>And I guess Spy magazine can rip-off Angela Instruments catalog, which
><>this list appeared in at least 5 years ago.
>
><And I assume the Angela Instruments catalog can rip-off Sinclair
><Unlimited, which this list appeared in at least 10 years ago in the
><ZX80 manual.
>
> And I assume that Clyde Sinclair can and did rip-off
> Altair, who included this data in *ROM* as part
> of their first computer well before 1977...
Actually, this was first discovered in the famous cave-wall paintings
in the Magnon region of France, dating back some 30000 years (give or
take a week).
---
Richard Stueven AHA# 22584 |----------|
Internet: g...@Corp.Sun.COM |----GO----| Ya tvoi sluga.
ATTMAIL: ...!attmail!gak |---SHARX--| Ya tvoi rabotnik.
Cow Palace: Sec 107 Row F Seat 9 |----------|
Daniel Dise
>>
>><>>And apparently any news service or local newspaper can rip off Spy magazine,
>><>>in which this chart first appeared about two years ago.
>>
>><>And I guess Spy magazine can rip-off Angela Instruments catalog, which
>><>this list appeared in at least 5 years ago.
>>
>><And I assume the Angela Instruments catalog can rip-off Sinclair
>><Unlimited, which this list appeared in at least 10 years ago in the
>><ZX80 manual.
>>
>> And I assume that Clyde Sinclair can and did rip-off
>> Altair, who included this data in *ROM* as part
>> of their first computer well before 1977...
>Actually, this was first discovered in the famous cave-wall paintings
>in the Magnon region of France, dating back some 30000 years (give or
>take a week).
And I suppose that it was all fine and dandy for that cave painter to
RIP the idea off of that POOR DEAD perfectly preserved DINOSAUR who had
that table TATTOOED on his BUTT!!!
--Aegis
. . .But I could be wrong . . .
Elizabeth E Sack
>di...@nightshade.cs.odu.edu (Daniel Dise) writes:
>
>>>><>>> "Hunka-Hunka: How much would Elvis weigh on other planets?
>>>>
>>>><>>And apparently any news service or local newspaper can rip off Spy magazine,
>>>><>>in which this chart first appeared about two years ago.
>>>>
>>>><>And I guess Spy magazine can rip-off Angela Instruments catalog, which
>>>><>this list appeared in at least 5 years ago.
>>>>
>>>><And I assume the Angela Instruments catalog can rip-off Sinclair
>>>><Unlimited, which this list appeared in at least 10 years ago in the
>>>><ZX80 manual.
>>>>
>>>> And I assume that Clyde Sinclair can and did rip-off
>>>> Altair, who included this data in *ROM* as part
>>>> of their first computer well before 1977...
>>>Actually, this was first discovered in the famous cave-wall paintings
>>>in the Magnon region of France, dating back some 30000 years (give or
>>>take a week).
>
>>And I suppose that it was all fine and dandy for that cave painter to
>>RIP the idea off of that POOR DEAD perfectly preserved DINOSAUR who had
>>that table TATTOOED on his BUTT!!!
>
>> --Aegis
>> . . .But I could be wrong . . .
>
>the BIG BANG, which, as we all know, calculated the weight of Elvis
>on ALL PLANETS! (Of course, if Elvis is GOD, and I am pretty sure he
>is, at least, the son of God, then, perhaps, this is the answer to life,
>the universe and everything... to calculate the weight of Elvis on all
>planets... kind of a self-fulfilling universe).
>
>Doug (Well, my REAL name is Elvis).
>
Yeah, well I'M compiling a list of how much the upcoming ELVIS STAMP (US) will
weigh on other planets. So post your favorite planet/Elvis Stamp weight.
Don't Email them, because I'll be out of town. I'm going Elvis hunting in
the Upper Penninsula of Michigan.
Jeff Hanna
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting Ehvis.
David Bennett
And I assume this can rip off pages from a notebook!
David.
[DDT] Pink fish forever.
--
David Bennett, gu...@uniwa.uwa.oz.au | University Computer Club
Where Pink fish swim backwards. | c/o Guild of Undergraduates
These words I am singing now mean nothing more than meow to an animal - TMBG
Disclaimer: Any spelling mistakes in this article are all entirly my fault. Any grammer errors spotted in this article were put there because I could.
David Bennett
>weigh on other planets. So post your favorite planet/Elvis Stamp weight.
It weights 10 million tons on a planet that hasnt been discoverd yet in
the andomeda galaxy.
moor...@iscsvax.uni.edu
It is important to point out, at this crucial turning point in the debate, that
had Elvis actually gone ahead and VISITED other planets, the chart itself would
be moot, since Elvis' enormous weight would have thrown any of those planets
out of their orbits entirely.
A more important question to consider now is the likelihood that, if Elvis
still exists, he is probably still GAINING WEIGHT, and so we wonder:
calculating forward from his APPARENT time of death, when will Elvis reach
critical mass, undergo gravitational collapse, and become a supernova?
Scotto the Malicious
John Allison
>car...@netcom.com (RDC) writes:
>
>>And I assume the Angela Instruments catalog can rip-off Sinclair
>>Unlimited, which this list appeared in at least 10 years ago in the
>>ZX80 manual.
Is this anything like the 280Z manual????
Personally, I think the 240Z is *much* cooler.
I especially like the headlight cones.
:Allison Wonderland
Kevin L. McBride
> A more important question to consider now is the likelihood that, if Elvis
> still exists, he is probably still GAINING WEIGHT, and so we wonder:
> calculating forward from his APPARENT time of death, when will Elvis reach
> critical mass, undergo gravitational collapse, and become a supernova?
What is Elvis' Schwarzchild Radius? And will his event horizon appear
to be covered in Blue Suede?
moor...@iscsvax.uni.edu
And what is the Schwarzchild Radius of the child of Elvis' schwarz? Blue Suede
Swaddling Clothes, anyone? (Sheeit, I never heard of a Schwarzkopf
Thingamadigger. Ain't this alt.stupidity?)
Scotto the Malicious
A FROOD WHO SURE KNOWS WHERE HIS TOWEL IS
>di...@nightshade.cs.odu.edu (Daniel Dise) writes:
>
>>In article <ksi0o4...@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> g...@gakbox.Corp.Sun.COM writes:
>>>><>>> "Hunka-Hunka: How much would Elvis weigh on other planets?
>the BIG BANG, which, as we all know, calculated the weight of Elvis
>on ALL PLANETS! (Of course, if Elvis is GOD, and I am pretty sure he
>is, at least, the son of God, then, perhaps, this is the answer to life,
>the universe and everything... to calculate the weight of Elvis on all
>planets... kind of a self-fulfilling universe).
>
Maybe I'm starting to take this HH theme a bit far...
T.
Sean P. Ryan, Hardcore Alaskan
And I assume that fnord Altair can and did fnord rip off "Bob," who this
fnord must have originated with fnord, for "Bob" is the origin of all
fnord modern knowledge. Why, in fnord fact, I could have sworn that I
fnord saw something to this effect in fnord TBotSB fnord.
Or kill me fnord.
************************************************************************
Sean Patrick Ryan, Hardcore Alaskan*****Internet: fs...@acad3.alaska.edu
WWIVnet: 220@9704*CFN: au414*IRC: RadioKAOS, Aoxomoxoa*Ph: (907)488-8365
BITnet: FSSPR@ALASKA****Snail: P.O. Box 83381, Fairbanks, AK 99708-3381
*Call me Pastor - Pastor - Pastor of Muppets I'm pulling your string...*
I'll do a disclaimer when they pry my cold dead hands from the keyboard.
Slacker [Rev. Dan Regan]
Well, all this controversy would be invalid if... we made Relative Elvis
the unit of weight measurement on all planets! But... should we use the
"slimmer, youthful Elvis" or the "Elvis at the hight of twinkie consumption"?
--
|\ | / SubGenius Rev. Dan Regan __
| \|/ sla...@deeptht.santa-cruz.ca.us __/ /
| /|\ Phone: 336-8471 \/_/AMIGA!
|/ | \ Chester's coming to get you!
Slartibartfast
>Maybe I'm starting to take this HH theme a bit far...
>T.
Don't be dumb. Magrathea is a myth--and for that matter, so is the
number 42. However, 41 and 43 have proven themselves to be real,
and there will be (willen haven been) a gnab gib.
JF
