The new English?
pTooner
without prejudice;-)) It reminds me a great deal of occasional posts on
this ng.
Gerry
New Official EU Language
>>>
>>>The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English
>>>will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German,
>>>which is the other possiblity.
>>>
>>>As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
>>>English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5-year
>>>phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English."
>>>
>>>In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this
will
>>>make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped
in
>>>favour of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
>>>have one less letter.
>>>
>>>There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
>>>troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words
>>>like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.
>>>
>>>In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted
>>>to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
>>>Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
>>>always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
>>>horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it
should
>>>go away.
>>>
>>>By the 4th yer peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th'
>>>with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
>>>
>>>During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
kontaining
>>>'ou' and similar changes vud, of kors, be aplid to oza kombinations
of
>>>letas.
>>>
>>>After ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no
>>>mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
>oza.
>>>
>>>Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru!
Adam Levin
> I didn't dare attach this to anyone's post, so I put it up at large
> without prejudice;-)) It reminds me a great deal of occasional posts on
> this ng.
Proper credit, or at least a good solid nod, should be given to Mr.
Mark Twain:
A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be
replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of
the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch"
formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling,
so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might
well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j"
anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear
5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing
vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov
ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a
lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
-Adam (with apologies for the off-topic post)
--
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<*> __________________________/ OF DOG...AND THE DEATH OF FLEAS CAN RIDE IT
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