REQ: Plastic Jesus Lyrics

[Gervais Currie]

You know the one,

I don't care if it rains or freezes...

Anyone got all the verses?

TIA

[Rick Lee]

From Digital Tradition at

http://pubweb.parc.xerox.com/digitrad/list=100

PLASTIC JESUS

PLASTIC JESUS

I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car,
Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nation
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I'm afraid he'll have to go,
His magnets ruin my radio
And If I have a wreck, he'll leave a scar

Riding through the thoroughfare,
With his nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, he don't see,
He just keeps his eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun that shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps him up to par

When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know whose boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town,
Trying to run them down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say Damn
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear,
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white,
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

If I weave around at night
And the policemen think I'm tight
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic jesus shelters me,
For his head comes off, you see
He's hollow and I use him for a flask

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic jesus is a holy bar

@religion @drink
filename[ PLASTJES
SF

(DT of November 1995)

Rick

http://world.std.com/~ricklee/

[JLizKenn]

Here's one of 'em. Maybe you'll get the song piecemeal.
I've forgotten a lot of it, but I'll never forget this verse:

When I weave around at night
And the police think I'm tight

They'll never find my bottle, though they ask

Plastic Jesus shelters me

For his head comes off, you see
He's hollow and I use him for a flask

Good luck getting the rest.

-- Joan

[Joe Offer]

..Well, here are some verses that have appeared here before:
Plastic Jesus

I don’t car if it rains for freezes

Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car

Through my trials and tribulations

And my travels through the nations

With my plastic Jesus I’ll go far

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I’m afraid he’ll have to go

His magnets ruin my radio

And if I have a wreck He’ll leave a scar

Riding down a thoroughfare

With his nose up in the air

A wreck may be ahead but he don’t mind
Trouble coming He don’t see
He just keeps his eye on me

And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car

Though the sunshine on His back
Make Him peel, chip and crack
A little patching keeps Him up to par

When pedestrians try to cross

I let them know who’s boss
I never blow the horn or give them warning

I ride all over town

trying to run them down

And it’s seldom that they live to see the morning

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right

And I use it for a sight

And they’ll scatter or they’ll splatter near and far

When I’m in a traffic jam

He don’t car if I say “damn”

I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn’t hear

For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car

Once His robe was snowy white
Now it isn’t quite bright

Stained by the smoke of my cigar

If I weave around at night

And the police think I’m tight

They’ll never find my bottle though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For his head comes off you see
He’s hollow and I use Him for a flask

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb

Plastic Jesus is a holy bar.

All night long, makin' whoopie;
Thank God I've got my Guadalupe
laminated in my gearshift knob
Squealin' tires, weavin', lurchin';
Fingers tight around that virgin
steering, leering, droolin' like a slob.

Guadalupe, Guadalupe,
Enshrined right here inside my gearshift ball
Those Eastside mamas sure look good,
Struttin' 'round the neighborhood,
But my radiatin' virgin beats them all.

-
JOE OFFER CVF...@prodigy.com

[Stewa1]

This conversation went on some time ago. But here's my favorite again
(now everybody sing :-))

I don't care if it rains or freezes,

'long as I got my plastic Jesus,
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car,
There is Joseph and Mary, too,
My but it looks like a plastic zoo,
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car
(Ahhhh-men)
;-)

[Bruce Hopper]

This was in the digital traditions folk song data base. Have fun!
Robin Hopper
njn...@alaska.net

PLASTIC JESUS

PLASTIC JESUS

I don't care if it rains or freezes,

Long as I have my plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car,

Through my trials and tribulations
And my travels through the nation

With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car

I'm afraid he'll have to go,

His magnets ruin my radio

And If I have a wreck, he'll leave a scar

Riding through the thoroughfare,

With his nose up in the air

A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, he don't see,

He just keeps his eyes on me

And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus,

Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun that shines on his back

Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps him up to par

When pedestrians try to cross

I let them know whose boss

I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town,
Trying to run them down

And it's seldom that they live to see the morning

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right

And I use it as a sight

And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far

When I'm in a traffic jam

He don't care if I say Damn

I can let all sorts of curses roll

Plastic Jesus doesn't hear,

For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white,

Now it isn't quite so bright

Stained by the smoke of my cigar

If I weave around at night

And the policemen think I'm tight

They'll never find my bottle, though they ask

Plastic jesus shelters me,
For his head comes off, you see
He's hollow and I use him for a flask

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb

[Paul Tumarkin]

And then there are the unofficial lyrics that I learned long ago at summer
camp in Colorado...

Noah, he don't mind the rain,
his ark is polyurathane
ridin' on the dashboard of my car
Mary she don't slip or slide,
her holy ass is magnatized,
ridin' on the dashboard of my car.

Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, too,
Lord, we got the whole damn crew.
ridin' on the dashboard of my car.
People they all jump for joy
when they see my plastic Adonoi
ridin' on the dashboard of my car.

(The last verse I attribute to Bix Gillmore, a great songleader with whom
I spent many a summer round the campfire.)

Keep the music alive.

[kduvio]

OK, I'll bite...

While at St. Joseph Seminary College in 1979, me and a few guys
wrote our own verses. My contribution to this cause is...

On the dashboard's Micheal and Rapheal
But my shock absorbers are Gabrial, (riding...)

Some day folks say I will crash hard
With all those saints on my dashboard...

Hey, live with Benedictines for a few years, and this sort
of comes naturally. Any folks out there been around Jesuits?
That could really be wierd! :)

Cheers, Ken.

[Simon van Dongen]

Ger...@intlog.demon.co.uk (Gervais Currie) wrote:

>You know the one,
>I don't care if it rains or freezes...
>Anyone got all the verses?
>TIA

You'll find them in the Folksinger's Wordbook, by Irwin and Fred
Silber. (Oak Publications) I hope it is still in print: it's massive,
but very useful. It has lyrics and chords of thousands of songs. The
only disadvantage is that you keep coming across marvelous lyrics with
no idea what the music is.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
Simon van Dongen
sg...@pi.net

"If you think the problem is bad now,
just wait till we've solved it"
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

[Simon van Dongen]

Ger...@intlog.demon.co.uk (Gervais Currie) wrote:

>You know the one,
>I don't care if it rains or freezes...
>Anyone got all the verses?
>TIA

You'll find them in the Folksinger's Wordbook, by Irwin and Fred
Silber. (Oak Publications) I hope it is still in print: it's massive,
but very useful. It has lyrics and chords of thousands of songs. The
only disadvantage is that you keep coming across marvelous lyrics with
no idea what the music is.

I found one extra verse there that wasn't mentioned in earlier
posting:

I don't care if it's dark or scary,
Long as I have my magnetic Mary,
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car,
I feel I'm protected amply,
I've got the whole damn Holy Family,
Riding on the dashboard of my car,
No I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car,
But I think he'll have to go,
His magnet ruins my radio,
And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar.

BTW, does anyone know of a recording of this song anywhere?

Simon