SONG: The Song That's Doomed Me To Hell
Gabriel Gentile
That we've never met, but all know well
He likes to write these itty-bitty comics
That tell us how we're going to Hell
You've seen them in phone booths, you've seen them at the laundry
You've seen them on a Greyhound bus
And the guy won't stop until he's put the fear of God
In each and every one of us
(CHORUS)
Chick Tracts, Chick Tracts
Ream 'em forward, read 'em back
Give 'em to your family
I never knew until I read a Chick Tract
How bad Jesus had it in for me
Chick Tracts, Chick Tracts
I'd rather pay my income tax
Rip 'em up and give 'em a tear
Hell can't be such an awful, awful place
If there aren't any Chick Tracts there
Remember "Dark Dungeons" when he said that D&D
Was a tool of Satanic spies?
Well, I don't recall any gamer group at all
Where the girls outnumbered the guys
In "Somebody Loves Me" a father beat his boy
And kicked him out, now ain't that rude?
But a little girl came by and gave the boy a Chick Tract
When all he really needed was some food
He said it was true in "Support Your Local Jew"
Hurting Jews would leave your spirit broke
But that didn't stop from making "Where's Rabbi Waxman?"
Maybe that's what gave him the stroke
Mormons and Shriners and Buddhists and Muslims
They've all come under attack
Why he's gone so far as to attack other Christians
So maybe there IS something to old Jack
(4-6-8, Demons make you masturbate)
(CHORUS)
[sung slowly and solemnly]
Maybe... What Jack says... is all really true
And we're victims.... Of foul Satan's hordes
And maybe... His Tracts... Are the keys to our salvation
By accepting... Jesus Christ... As our Lord
Maybe... The stories... That Jack Chick writes
Are honest... And truly... God sent
[sung normally]
Or maybe they're just the Tijuana Bibles
Of the fundamentalist movement
(REPEAT CHORUS TWICE)
Eloise Beltz-Decker
--
Eloise Beltz-Decker elo...@ripco.com
http://pages.ripco.com/~eloise/
"He's having a cheezure! Quick, get the de-fromagulator!"
- John Mason, in a fit of silliness in the airport
on the way home from FilKONtario 11.
Lee Gold
>
> There's a little old man down in Chino, California
> That we've never met, but all know well
> He likes to write these itty-bitty comics
> That tell us how we're going to Hell
Original tune or reused melody I can't recognize?
Gabriel Gentile
Mark A. Mandel
: There's a little old man down in Chino, California
Is the tune original or is it something that we might know if we heard the
title?
-- Mark A. Mandel
FIJAGH! Now, *filking*, on the other hand...
http://world.std.com/~mam/filk.html
--
To reply by email, remove the obvious spam-blocker from my edress.
C M
<spook...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>There's a little old man down in Chino, California
>That we've never met, but all know well
>He likes to write these itty-bitty comics
>That tell us how we're going to Hell
<snip>
>[sung normally]
>Or maybe they're just the Tijuana Bibles
>Of the fundamentalist movement
>
ROFLASTC!!
>(REPEAT CHORUS TWICE)
My personal favorite I saw in 1969 in LA. Martin Luther King Jr.
as Satan leading blacks astray.
.............
\~^~/ "Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself."
\\|||||//
\\\\\|///// -Rita Mae Brown
\\\\\|/////
\\\\|////
\\|//
# copper_...@yahoo.com
#
# `
# ))
# (( (:B)
# )) )(@ ~*
# (((((@)& The Copper Squirrel in his virtual tree
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
ProfessorsGal
a real one yet. Ah what a strange, sad little man he must be.
keith lim
> Jack Chick tracts!!!!! Lmao, I read em online all the time but have never
found
> a real one yet.
You can order a complete set--all tracts in print--for the low, low
price of ten US dollars (S&H extra). What a deal. Kept my set in a big
glass jar next to my other kitschy stuff. (I no longer have them though;
must have left them behind in my last move.)
Trying to read through all of them in one sitting, though, is not
particularly fun. They're extremely repetitive, in that everything's a
variation of the same theme, never mind their predictability and
heavy-handedness. Keep them around on display like gewgaws. Amuse your
friends when they visit. Or possibly scare them.
--
keith lim keit...@pobox.com http://pobox.com/~keithlim/
The street finds its own use for things--uses its makers
never intended. --William Gibson, _Neuromancer_
Filksinger
wrote:
>Jack Chick tracts!!!!! Lmao, I read em online all the time but have never found
>a real one yet. Ah what a strange, sad little man he must be.
You want to know something really strange? About 12 years ago, I went
to a con in the Pacific Northwest (Norwescon, I believe), and my con
packett actually had one of those "D&D is Satanic" comics in it. I
never did find out how it got there.
Filksinger
AKA David Nasset, Sr.
Geek Prophet to the Technologically Declined
Arthur Levesque
FS>You want to know something really strange? About 12 years ago, I went
FS>to a con in the Pacific Northwest (Norwescon, I believe), and my con
FS>packett actually had one of those "D&D is Satanic" comics in it. I
FS>never did find out how it got there.
I remember seeing that one almost 20 years ago when I played D&D. I
still think Chick Tracts are extremely funny; and various attempts to
parody them are redundant.
--
/\ Arthur M Levesque 2A4W <*> b...@boog.orgy =/\= http://boog.org __
\B\ack King of the Potato People <fnord> "Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!" (oO)
\S\lash Member of a vast right-wing conspiracy (-O-) Urban Spaceman /||\
\/ I was a lesbian before it was fashionable "I hate rainbows!"-EC
Lea Frost
Gabriel Gentile <spook...@earthlink.net> wrote in message news:<B73047FB.79B2%spook...@earthlink.net>...
> Remember "Dark Dungeons" when he said that D&D
> Was a tool of Satanic spies?
> Well, I don't recall any gamer group at all
> Where the girls outnumbered the guys
...and I still think it's hilarious that the evil GM in this tract is named Ms. Frost. ;-)
Maureen O'Brien
I remember encountering "The Death Cookie" and realizing for the
first time that some people really didn't like my kind.
I mean, I was used to being persecuted for myself, and the gamer stuff
I could laugh off. But religious persecution? Not funny at all.
Besides, comics are supposed to be used for good, not evil! <g>
Jack Chick. Ewwwwwwww.
Maureen
Stephen Nelson
group a bad name... <sigh> 8-(
I'd love to ignore them, but unfortunately they're the vocal minority
everyone hears from / about.
Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! is right.
Steve Nelson
(who is a Christian but is busy working on the beam(s) in his own eye.
Anybody got a crane?)
Martin Julian DeMello
> Steve Nelson
> (who is a Christian but is busy working on the beam(s) in his own eye.
CAUTION: Do not look directly into laser with remaining eye
--
Martin DeMello
C M
wrote:
>Jack Chick is another example of the 20% that give the other 80% of a
>group a bad name... <sigh> 8-(
>
>I'd love to ignore them, but unfortunately they're the vocal minority
>everyone hears from / about.
>
>Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! is right.
>
>Steve Nelson
>(who is a Christian but is busy working on the beam(s) in his own eye.
>Anybody got a crane?)
Sorry, just a couple of herons.....
.............
\~^~/ I am #2 of the Borg, Resistance is unmutual....
\\|||||//
\\\\\|/////
Lea Frost
> I'd like to think Chick tracts are funny. Some days I can. But mostly
> I remember encountering "The Death Cookie" and realizing for the
> first time that some people really didn't like my kind.
I'm Catholic too, and I know how you feel -- I'm never sure, upon
encountering Chick tracts, whether to laugh or cry. I'm a student of
Renaissance literature, so I've read all sorts of vehemently
anti-Catholic stuff (The Faerie Queene is just this side of Chickitude
in places) but it's unnerving to realize that Whore of Babylon
rhetoric is still getting tossed around today, albeit by a small
fringe.
My God, I just compared Spenser to Jack Chick.
(BTW, I think the "Holocaust" tract is particularly vile...)
C M
Since we Lutherans now have co-communion with the Catholics, I
suppose "The Death Cookie" now applies to us as well. It was
interesting the first sunday of the reconciliation. You could tell
the Catholics easily...they were the ones staring aghast at the bread
crumbs falling on the floor(for Catholics, that was a defiling of the
host and the entire mass would have to be redone.)
Mike Whitaker
> Jack Chick is another example of the 20% that give the other 80% of a
> group a bad name... <sigh> 8-(
>
> I'd love to ignore them, but unfortunately they're the vocal minority
> everyone hears from / about.
>
> Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! is right.
>
> Steve Nelson
> (who is a Christian but is busy working on the beam(s) in his own eye.
As a friend of mine said when I became a Christian, and I am wont to quote:
"One of the best things about being a Christian is some of the other
Christians. It can also be one of the worst."
--
Mike Whitaker: mi...@altrion.org http://www.altrion.org/
Phoenix: phoeni...@filknet.org http://www.altrion.org/phoenix/
NePALM Music: nep...@altrion.org http://www.altrion.org/nepalm/
FilkNet: ad...@filknet.org http://www.filknet.org/
Mike Whitaker
> I'd like to think Chick tracts are funny.
I keep equating it to Chick Flick. My brain needs remedial attention,
clearly.
Mary Creasey
Mike Whitaker <mi...@altrion.org> wrote in message
news:IgXP6.26$6O4....@news.dircon.co.uk...
> Maureen O'Brien wrote:
>
> > I'd like to think Chick tracts are funny.
>
> I keep equating it to Chick Flick. My brain needs remedial attention,
> clearly.
<g>
Do you have Jack Chick tracts over there at all?
Mary
Mike Whitaker
Nope. Thank the Lord.
Aaron Davies
> On Fri, 25 May 2001 16:00:18 GMT, Stephen Nelson <snels...@home.com>
> wrote:
>
> >Jack Chick is another example of the 20% that give the other 80% of a
> >group a bad name... <sigh> 8-(
> >
> >I'd love to ignore them, but unfortunately they're the vocal minority
> >everyone hears from / about.
> >
> >Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! is right.
> >
> >Steve Nelson
> >(who is a Christian but is busy working on the beam(s) in his own eye.
> >Anybody got a crane?)
> Sorry, just a couple of herons.....
Oh no, not the pun-ic war again. It's only getting worse from heron out.
--
__ __
/ ) / )
/--/ __. __ ________ / / __. , __o _ _
/ (_(_/|_/ (_(_) / / <_ /__/_(_/|_\/ <__</_/_)_
Aaron Davies
> On 26 May 2001 00:43:29 -0700, fro...@umich.edu (Lea Frost) wrote:
>
> >Maureen O'Brien <mob...@dnaco.net> wrote in message
> > news:<3B0DAC7A...@dnaco.net>...
> >> I'd like to think Chick tracts are funny. Some days I can. But mostly
> >> I remember encountering "The Death Cookie" and realizing for the
> >> first time that some people really didn't like my kind.
> >
> >I'm Catholic too, and I know how you feel -- I'm never sure, upon
> >encountering Chick tracts, whether to laugh or cry. I'm a student of
> >Renaissance literature, so I've read all sorts of vehemently
> >anti-Catholic stuff (The Faerie Queene is just this side of Chickitude
> >in places) but it's unnerving to realize that Whore of Babylon
> >rhetoric is still getting tossed around today, albeit by a small
> >fringe.
> >
> >My God, I just compared Spenser to Jack Chick.
> Since we Lutherans now have co-communion with the Catholics, I
> suppose "The Death Cookie" now applies to us as well. It was
> interesting the first sunday of the reconciliation. You could tell
> the Catholics easily...they were the ones staring aghast at the bread
> crumbs falling on the floor(for Catholics, that was a defiling of the
> host and the entire mass would have to be redone.)
When the hell did that happen? Did somebody erase the Reformation when I
wasn't looking?
Mark A. Mandel
: Since we Lutherans now have co-communion with the Catholics, I
: suppose "The Death Cookie" now applies to us as well.
Shouldn't that just be "communion", since the "co-" and the "com(m)-" are
the same prefix, meaning 'together with'? Or is "co-communion" celebrated
with bread and Coca-Cola? <g,d,&rfc>
-- Mark
C M
wrote:
>Stephen Nelson wrote:
>
>> Jack Chick is another example of the 20% that give the other 80% of a
>> group a bad name... <sigh> 8-(
>>
>> I'd love to ignore them, but unfortunately they're the vocal minority
>> everyone hears from / about.
>>
>> Eeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! is right.
>>
>> Steve Nelson
>> (who is a Christian but is busy working on the beam(s) in his own eye.
>
>As a friend of mine said when I became a Christian, and I am wont to quote:
>"One of the best things about being a Christian is some of the other
>Christians. It can also be one of the worst."
Or "Jesus, save me from your followers!"
C M
(Aaron Davies) wrote:
>C M <copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>> >My God, I just compared Spenser to Jack Chick.
>> Since we Lutherans now have co-communion with the Catholics, I
>> suppose "The Death Cookie" now applies to us as well. It was
>> interesting the first sunday of the reconciliation. You could tell
>> the Catholics easily...they were the ones staring aghast at the bread
>> crumbs falling on the floor(for Catholics, that was a defiling of the
>> host and the entire mass would have to be redone.)
>
>When the hell did that happen? Did somebody erase the Reformation when I
>wasn't looking?
Sort of. All Lutheran denominations except for the Missouri
Synod(and the membership of the Missouri Synod is not happy with their
leaders about this) have joined with the Roman Catholics in
co-communion, essentially ending the 500 years of conflict since the
posting of the 93 thesis. Lutherans and Catholics now recognize each
other's church as valid and may take communion at either one.
Now if we could just get the Swedes to stop telling the Saami that
they'll go to hell if they don't do the Lutheran Mass in Swedish....
C M
(Aaron Davies) wrote:
>C M <copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>> >(who is a Christian but is busy working on the beam(s) in his own eye.
>> >Anybody got a crane?)
>> Sorry, just a couple of herons.....
>
>Oh no, not the pun-ic war again. It's only getting worse from heron out.
Tch! You couldn't come up with a good bird pun? Or is this your
way of flipping the bird?
C M
<m...@world.std.Take.This.Out.com> wrote:
>C M <copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
>: Since we Lutherans now have co-communion with the Catholics, I
>: suppose "The Death Cookie" now applies to us as well.
>
>Shouldn't that just be "communion", since the "co-" and the "com(m)-" are
>the same prefix, meaning 'together with'? Or is "co-communion" celebrated
>with bread and Coca-Cola? <g,d,&rfc>
>
Co-communion means that we can take communion together. Personally
I prefer Lutheran communion to those strange little wafers that are
pretty much standard for the Catholics(although I do remember there
was one church in Los Angeles that used tortillas....). Lutherans use
regular bread.
Steve Wheeler
"C M" <copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:rds0htst9ph01nqsc...@4ax.com...
> On Sat, 26 May 2001 20:43:38 -0400, aa...@avalon.pascal-central.com
> (Aaron Davies) wrote:
>
> >C M <copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> >> >(who is a Christian but is busy working on the beam(s) in his own
eye.
> >> >Anybody got a crane?)
> >> Sorry, just a couple of herons.....
> >
> >Oh no, not the pun-ic war again. It's only getting worse from heron
out.
> Tch! You couldn't come up with a good bird pun? Or is this your
> way of flipping the bird?
I thought it _was_ a fairly good bird pun. It's not as though there's
some cardinal rule that you can't use the same bird twice in succession.
- wheels
Mary Creasey
[snip]
> Co-communion means that we can take communion together. Personally
> I prefer Lutheran communion to those strange little wafers that are
> pretty much standard for the Catholics(although I do remember there
> was one church in Los Angeles that used tortillas....). Lutherans use
> regular bread.
ISTR that the only real requirement is that it be unleavened grain.
For a home Mass (years ago, with my college Newman Club),
the hostess made an unleavened loaf for the Mass. The priest
blessed it and made it legal to use. Then he got to the part of
the Mass where he takes the bread...and found out how
tough unleavened bread can be...took him a minute or so
to chew through it and continue!
Mary
Chris Croughton
<copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Since we Lutherans now have co-communion with the Catholics, I
When did this happen? I missed it...
(Although I remember Father Len saying that he was astonished when he
went to the Seminary to be given Martin Luther's writings as "must read"
material, having been brought up that Kuther was a heretic...)
>suppose "The Death Cookie" now applies to us as well. It was
>interesting the first sunday of the reconciliation. You could tell
>the Catholics easily...they were the ones staring aghast at the bread
>crumbs falling on the floor(for Catholics, that was a defiling of the
>host and the entire mass would have to be redone.)
Qua? I don't know Lutheran practise...
Chris C
C M
wrote:
Catholic ritual requires that no crumb of the host or drop of the
wine be anywhere but on the appropriate vessels or in the mouth of the
communicant. A spill requires that you start all over again and
reconsecrate the host and the wine.
Lutherans aren't as fussy about crumbs falling.....which is really
weird when you realize that the churches are full of Scandinavians who
are always meticulously clean...
C M
No, but it does look better if you come up with an original
jay-pe....
C M
Tch! I guess that's why the Padre went with tortillas, although
the hierarchy did insist on him using flour tortillas(he started with
corn tortillas.).
Mark A. Mandel
: "C M" <copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
:> (Aaron Davies) wrote:
:> >C M <copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote:
:> >> >(who is a Christian but is busy working on the beam(s) in his own
: eye.
:> >> >Anybody got a crane?)
:> >> Sorry, just a couple of herons.....
:> >Oh no, not the pun-ic war again. It's only getting worse from heron
: out.
:> Tch! You couldn't come up with a good bird pun? Or is this your
:> way of flipping the bird?
: I thought it _was_ a fairly good bird pun. It's not as though there's
: some cardinal rule that you can't use the same bird twice in succession.
I'm staying out of this one; I'm chicken.
Mark A. Mandel
: ISTR that the only real requirement is that it be unleavened grain.
: For a home Mass (years ago, with my college Newman Club),
: the hostess made an unleavened loaf for the Mass. The priest
: blessed it and made it legal to use. Then he got to the part of
: the Mass where he takes the bread...and found out how
: tough unleavened bread can be...took him a minute or so
: to chew through it and continue!
Now you know why we say in the Passover Seder, "This [i.e., matzo] is the
bread of our affliction"!
-- Mark, unorthodox Jew
Lea Frost
> I thought it _was_ a fairly good bird pun. It's not as though there's
> some cardinal rule that you can't use the same bird twice in succession.
But isn't robin other people for puns a faux pas?
Aaron Davies
All right, you caught me out. I guess that was a fowl on my part.
C M
It sure is! He should be ostrichized!
Chris Croughton
<m...@world.std.Take.This.Out.com> wrote:
>Steve Wheeler <swhee...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>
>: "C M" <copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>:> (Aaron Davies) wrote:
>:> >C M <copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>:> >> >(who is a Christian but is busy working on the beam(s) in his own
>: eye.
>:> >> >Anybody got a crane?)
>:> >> Sorry, just a couple of herons.....
>:> >Oh no, not the pun-ic war again. It's only getting worse from heron
>: out.
>:> Tch! You couldn't come up with a good bird pun? Or is this your
>:> way of flipping the bird?
>
>: I thought it _was_ a fairly good bird pun. It's not as though there's
>: some cardinal rule that you can't use the same bird twice in succession.
>
>I'm staying out of this one; I'm chicken.
But you're robin us all of your exerience!
Chris C
Chris Croughton
<copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Tch! I guess that's why the Padre went with tortillas, although
>the hierarchy did insist on him using flour tortillas(he started with
>corn tortillas.).
Yes, I remember that one, "It has to be wheat". Never mind that some
people are unable to take communion if it is wheat because they are
allergic (my cousin, who is Anglican, gets special corn wafers which are
kept separate, if she gets so much as a crumb of wheat bread she will
get severe diarrhoea, but the Catholic hierarchy won't allow it).
Chris C
Chris Croughton
<copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Catholic ritual requires that no crumb of the host or drop of the
>wine be anywhere but on the appropriate vessels or in the mouth of the
>communicant. A spill requires that you start all over again and
>reconsecrate the host and the wine.
Not all Catholics are that fussy, but I believe that is the 'correct'
procedure.
> Lutherans aren't as fussy about crumbs falling.....which is really
>weird when you realize that the churches are full of Scandinavians who
>are always meticulously clean...
Ah. I wondered whether it was some part of the rite that they
deliberately dropped some (in some religions, this is done to "return to
the earth that which came from it"). Do I gather that they also use
whole bread rather than wafers as well?
Chris C
Chris Croughton
<aa...@avalon.pascal-central.com> wrote:
>Lea Frost <fro...@umich.edu> wrote:
>
>> "Steve Wheeler" <swhee...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
>> news:<NU%P6.35882$BN6.2...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>...
>>
>> > I thought it _was_ a fairly good bird pun. It's not as though there's
>> > some cardinal rule that you can't use the same bird twice in succession.
>>
>> But isn't robin other people for puns a faux pas?
>
>All right, you caught me out. I guess that was a fowl on my part.
I see you quail beneath the weight of public opinion...
Chris C
Lea Frost
> >> But isn't robin other people for puns a faux pas?
> >
> >All right, you caught me out. I guess that was a fowl on my part.
>
> I see you quail beneath the weight of public opinion...
Maybe, but there's no need to grouse about it!
C M
wrote:
>On Sun, 27 May 2001 14:43:38 -0700, C M
Yes, and it is slightly leavened at my church.
C M
wrote:
>On Sun, 27 May 2001 14:46:31 -0700, C M
Well, I'm not going to make the obvious pun about the hierarchy's
attitude.....
C M
wrote:
>On Mon, 28 May 2001 01:28:57 GMT, Mark A. Mandel
Too many more of these and I'll go stark raven mad....
Mark A. Mandel
: On Sun, 27 May 2001 14:46:31 -0700, C M
: <copper_...@yahoo.com> wrote:
Ah, yes. The miracle of the Transubstantiation can transform wafers into
Christ's literal body, but only if they're made from wheat. (Sigh.)
Daniel R. Reitman
wrote:
>On 27 May 2001 18:43:23 -0700, fro...@umich.edu (Lea Frost) wrote:
>>"Steve Wheeler" <swhee...@earthlink.net> wrote in message news:<NU%P6.35882$BN6.2...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>...
>>> I thought it _was_ a fairly good bird pun. It's not as though there's
>>> some cardinal rule that you can't use the same bird twice in succession.
>>But isn't robin other people for puns a faux pas?
> It sure is! He should be ostrichized!
Don't be bittern about it.
Dan, ad nauseam
Daniel R. Reitman
<m...@world.std.Take.This.Out.com> wrote:
>Now you know why we say in the Passover Seder, "This [i.e., matzo] is the
>bread of our affliction"!
My cousin's husband had his first experience with baking using matzo
meal a couple of years ago. His comment, before, was "How hard can it
be?"
Famous last words.
Dan, ad nauseam
Daniel R. Reitman
wrote:
>> Do you have Jack Chick tracts over there at all?
>Nope. Thank the Lord.
Dunsany?
Dan, ad nauseam
C M
How about if I Hawk a loogie at him?
> Dan, ad nauseam
Daniel R. Reitman
wrote:
>On Mon, 28 May 2001 19:43:54 GMT, drei...@teleport.com (Daniel R.
>Reitman) wrote:
>>On Sun, 27 May 2001 23:42:35 -0700, C M <copper_...@yahoo.com>
>>wrote:
>>>On 27 May 2001 18:43:23 -0700, fro...@umich.edu (Lea Frost) wrote:
>>>>"Steve Wheeler" <swhee...@earthlink.net> wrote in message news:<NU%P6.35882$BN6.2...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>...
>>>>> I thought it _was_ a fairly good bird pun. It's not as though there's
>>>>> some cardinal rule that you can't use the same bird twice in succession.
>>>>But isn't robin other people for puns a faux pas?
>>> It sure is! He should be ostrichized!
>>Don't be bittern about it.
> How about if I Hawk a loogie at him?
One good tern deserves another.
Dan, ad nauseam
Joel Polowin
> Ah, yes. The miracle of the Transubstantiation can transform wafers into
> Christ's literal body, but only if they're made from wheat. (Sigh.)
That almost begs for a Terry Bisson riff.
"They're made out of wheat."
"Wheat?"
"Wheat. They're made out of wheat."
"Wheat?"
"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different houses
of worship, took them in for analysis, and probed them all the way
through. They're completely wheat."
"That's impossible. What about the prayers? All that stuff about
flesh and blood?"
--
Joel Polowin jpolow...@sympatico.ca but delete "XYZZy" from address
Any problem can be solved by suitable application of dark chocolate.
Sometimes the "suitable application" is 1-kg slugs at 0.95c .
Maureen O'Brien
>Yes, I remember that one, "It has to be wheat". Never mind that some
>people are unable to take communion if it is wheat because they are
>allergic (my cousin, who is Anglican, gets special corn wafers which >are kept separate, if she gets so much as a crumb of wheat bread she >will get severe diarrhoea, but the Catholic hierarchy won't allow it).
Yeah, we had this discussion before. I've found out since then that
my godfather has the same problem; indeed, he can't even drink the
Communion wine, since a wafer briefly gets dipped into it during the
proceedings. So now he is totally without the sacrament.
All of this theologically-weak nonsense is Cardinal Ratzinger's fault,
as is much current canon law that has placed absurd burdens on people.
<Maureen contemplates the aptness of Ratzinger's name>
The truly ironic thing is that he was one of the early and fervent
supporters of Vatican II, but has gone on to be its great opponent.
He is one of those people I dislike far too much to write a song about,
frankly, and unfortunately the Pope lets him run because they are old
friends. I suspect that when the next Pope is elected, Cardinal
Ratzinger will be out of the Curia before he can leave the Sistine
Chapel.
And I'd better not say anything more, because I can't say it in verse
without getting far too mean.
Maureen
Matt G. Leger
> All of this theologically-weak nonsense is Cardinal Ratzinger's fault,
> as is much current canon law that has placed absurd burdens on people.
>
> <Maureen contemplates the aptness of Ratzinger's name>
>
> The truly ironic thing is that he was one of the early and fervent
> supporters of Vatican II, but has gone on to be its great opponent.
> He is one of those people I dislike far too much to write a song about,
> frankly, and unfortunately the Pope lets him run because they are old
> friends. I suspect that when the next Pope is elected, Cardinal
> Ratzinger will be out of the Curia before he can leave the Sistine
> Chapel.
Wanna bet? John Paul II has spent the past couple of decades loading the
College of Cardinals with his "old friends," who think as he does re Church
doctrine and modernizations of same (Vatican II included). Witness his pick
of Edward Egan to succeed the late John O'Connor here in NYC; both staunch
conservatives and outspoken foes of abortion, gay rights, women priests etc.
The next Pope will likely not be all that different politically from JP II.
ObFilk: "Vatican Rag," anyone? <g>
-- Matt
---------------------- MATT G. LEGER -----------------------
Graphic Designer - Webmaster - Illustrator - Wordsmith
New York - Washington - New Orleans
Desperately seeking graphic design employment in NYC
Full-time staff position preferred; Email for resume/samples
------------------Remove SPAMSUX. to reply------------------
Matt G. Leger
> There's a little old man down in Chino, California
> That we've never met, but all know well
> He likes to write these itty-bitty comics
> That tell us how we're going to Hell
>
> You've seen them in phone booths, you've seen them at the laundry
> You've seen them on a Greyhound bus
> And the guy won't stop until he's put the fear of God
> In each and every one of us
>
> (CHORUS)
> Chick Tracts, Chick Tracts
> Ream 'em forward, read 'em back
> Give 'em to your family
> I never knew until I read a Chick Tract
> How bad Jesus had it in for me
Excellent song. As a child raised Roman Catholic, Jack Chick's tracts always
gave me the creeps. They were kind of like a particularly grisly car crash:
You want to look away but you can't. As an illustrator, he embarrasses me
(especially as he seems to actually have some talent and is abusing it
IMHO).
There is actually a semi-scholarly book on Chick's work (including many
reprinted sample pages) that you can buy at your better comic-book shops.
The author's name escapes me, but I saw it on the shelves at Jim Hanley's
Universe here in NYC.
Leslie Fish
"Gabriel Gentile" <spook...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:B7305CC2.79E7%spook...@earthlink.net...
> Original tune, BTW.
>
Well, that tears it. Send the original tune and words to XENOFILKIA; I
want to get a copy of this one!
--
--Leslie <;)))><
Leslie Fish
"keith lim" <keit...@pobox.com> wrote in message
news:1etw1xo.1mjmug51lqjdrjN%keit...@pobox.com...
>
> Trying to read through all of them in one sitting, though, is not
> particularly fun. They're extremely repetitive, in that everything's a
> variation of the same theme, never mind their predictability and
> heavy-handedness. Keep them around on display like gewgaws. Amuse your
> friends when they visit. Or possibly scare them.
>
Some Pagan friends of Otter Zell published a couple of imitation
Chick-tracts but with Pagan twists. Delightful things! I believe they're
still available through GREEN EGG, and I think GE has a website now.
--
--Leslie <;)))><
Leslie Fish
"Maureen O'Brien" <mob...@dnaco.net> wrote in message
news:3B0DAC7A...@dnaco.net...
> I'd like to think Chick tracts are funny. Some days I can. But mostly
> I remember encountering "The Death Cookie" and realizing for the
> first time that some people really didn't like my kind.
>
I give up. What in tarnation is a "Death Cookie"?
LSD in the pfeffernusse?
--
--Leslie <;)))><
--Leslie <;)))><
Leslie Fish
"Lea Frost" <fro...@umich.edu> wrote in message
news:b68596a6.01052...@posting.google.com...
--
--Leslie <;)))><
Leslie Fish
"Mark A. Mandel" <m...@world.std.Take.This.Out.com> wrote in message
news:GE292...@world.std.com...
made of buckwheat because that was the only grain available. If it was
canon-legal then, it should be OK now.
--
--Leslie <;)))><
Arthur Levesque
LF>I give up. What in tarnation is a "Death Cookie"?
The eucharist. "Death Cookie" was a vicious anti-Catholic
screed. It didn't even have the "so bad, it's funny" quality[1] that
so many other Chick tracts have (I remember encountering the D&D one
back in the early 80's when I played D&D).
[1] One must use that word very loosely in this case.
/\ Arthur M Levesque 2A4W <*> b...@boog.orgy =/\= http://boog.org __
\B\ack King of the Potato People <fnord> "Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!" (oO)
\S\lash Member of a vast right-wing conspiracy (-O-) Urban Spaceman /||\
\/ I was a lesbian before it was fashionable "I hate rainbows!"-EC
Margaret Middleton
>pretty much standard for the Catholics(although I do remember there
>was one church in Los Angeles that used tortillas....). Lutherans use
>regular bread.
Not Mo.Synod...
One time when I was on a high school Latin Club trip, I visited at another
denomination (I forget now which: this is damnear 40 years ago now) that used
this large unsalted cracker for communion wafer (folks broke off their own
chunks). Years later discovered it was a matzo.
MSMinLR(at)aol.com (Margaret Middleton)
Shameless Plug for our local con: http://www.rockon.org
Help make a Quilted Artifact to sell for Interfilk:
http://members.aol.com/msminlr/ifquilt.htm
Shadowe_Lover
news:PM2S6.12005$S2.8...@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net:
> Some Pagan friends of Otter Zell published a couple of imitation
> Chick-tracts but with Pagan twists. Delightful things! I believe
> they're still available through GREEN EGG, and I think GE has a website
> now. --
Actually you can get the Pagan Tracts at the Aquarian Tabernacle Church
website. Pete Pathfindr wrote a couple of them that are Wonderful!!!
Pete once defended us when our picture and article appeared on the front
page of the Living Section of our local paper. He is a great guy!
Blessings,
Shadowe Lover
<who was VERY Surprised when she saw herself in full color 6 x 8 doing the
Symbolic Great Rite on the front page....WEG>
Chris Croughton
<lesli...@earthlink.net> wrote:
> Hmmm, I seem to remember some middle-European country where they were
>made of buckwheat because that was the only grain available. If it was
>canon-legal then, it should be OK now.
Just reading that section, and misreading a word, made me wonder why you
wanted to shoot buckwheat cookies from a cannon and who would be bothered
about the legality? <g>
Chris C
Joe Kesselman
> Co-communion means that we can take communion together.
I think I'll stick with cocoa-union.
--
------------------------------------------------------
Joe Kesselman, http://www.lovesong.com/people/keshlam/
On May 12, join Walkabout and many of our favorite
performers as we offer a musical tribute to Woody Guthrie!
http://www.WalkaboutClearwater.org/coffeehouse.html
Copper Squirrel
wrote:
>On Sat, 02 Jun 2001 10:12:19 GMT, Leslie Fish
Because you can't use the Holy Hand Grenade if have buckwheat in
your canon!
.............
\\|||||// "I have noticed that what cats most appreciate
\\\\\|///// in a human being is not the ability
\\\\\|///// to produce food, which they take for granted -
\\\\|//// but his or her entertainment value."
\\|// --Geoffrey Household
# `
# ))
# (( (:B) copper_...@yahoo.com
Copper Squirrel
<kes...@attglobal.net> wrote:
>C M wrote:
>> Co-communion means that we can take communion together.
>
>I think I'll stick with cocoa-union.
Do you use whipped cream or little marshmallows?
Arthur Levesque
Copper Squirrel>buckwheat in your canon!
O-tay!
Leslie Fish
"Shadowe_Lover" <Shadow...@mystarship.com> wrote in message
news:Xns90B4451C3B8D1Sh...@24.7.143.114...
>
> Actually you can get the Pagan Tracts at the Aquarian Tabernacle Church
> website. Pete Pathfindr wrote a couple of them that are Wonderful!!!
>
> http://www.aquatabch.org/
>
soon. I hope they're planning to make more.
--
--Leslie <;)))><
Shadowe_Lover
Actually, I think Pete has plans for some more, but I also believe he is
open for new ideas...have any ideas to spare??? <WEG> I have the ear so to
speak of the publisher on this one....LOL
Blessings,
Shadowe Lover
Mark A. Mandel
: On Sat, 02 Jun 2001 10:12:19 GMT, Leslie Fish
:> Hmmm, I seem to remember some middle-European country where they were
:>made of buckwheat because that was the only grain available. If it was
:>canon-legal then, it should be OK now.
: Just reading that section, and misreading a word, made me wonder why you
: wanted to shoot buckwheat cookies from a cannon and who would be bothered
: about the legality? <g>
Over in East-Pondia, you may never have seen the commercials for IIRC
Puffed Wheat and Puffed Rice breakfast cereals: "Shot from Guns!"
-- Mark A. Mandel
Copper Squirrel
<m...@world.std.Take.This.Out.com> wrote:
>Chris Croughton <ch...@keristor.org> wrote:
>: On Sat, 02 Jun 2001 10:12:19 GMT, Leslie Fish
>
>:> Hmmm, I seem to remember some middle-European country where they were
>:>made of buckwheat because that was the only grain available. If it was
>:>canon-legal then, it should be OK now.
>
>: Just reading that section, and misreading a word, made me wonder why you
>: wanted to shoot buckwheat cookies from a cannon and who would be bothered
>: about the legality? <g>
>
>Over in East-Pondia, you may never have seen the commercials for IIRC
>Puffed Wheat and Puffed Rice breakfast cereals: "Shot from Guns!"
Hadn't thought about those in years.....Why did you bring it up,
you fiend!?!
Copper Squirrel
Ciszek) wrote:
>In article <slrn9hieqm...@ccserver.keris.net>,
>Chris Croughton <ch...@keristor.org> wrote:
>>
>>Just reading that section, and misreading a word, made me wonder why you
>>wanted to shoot buckwheat cookies from a cannon and who would be bothered
>>about the legality? <g>
>
>Oh, the biscuits in the Army they say are mighty fine, but one rolled off a
>table and killed a friend of mine.
Please! This is religious weirdness! No military weirdness
allowed! Unless of course you use that tune to come up with an
instafilk.....
Michael Liebmann
news:vevnhts2d60c3a5rc...@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 4 Jun 2001 20:39:14 GMT, "Mark A. Mandel"
> <m...@world.std.Take.This.Out.com> wrote:
>
> >
> >Over in East-Pondia, you may never have seen the commercials for IIRC
> >Puffed Wheat and Puffed Rice breakfast cereals: "Shot from Guns!"
> Hadn't thought about those in years.....Why did you bring it up,
> you fiend!?!
AND, it was TTTO "The 1812 Overture" - just to remind people.
Michael Liebmann
> Oh, the biscuits in the Army they say are mighty fine, but one rolled off
a
> table and killed a friend of mine.
>
NEXT?
Kevin Wald
The lifeforms on this planet, they say they have their charms;
That is, until one hugs you with twenty thousand arms.
Oh, I don't want no more of arm-y life . . .
Kevin Wald wa...@math.uconn.edu | "Catalog of ships -- I'll remember that."
http://www.math.uchicago.edu/~wald | -- Homer, _The Huntress and the Sphinx_
Michael Liebmann
news:Xh5T6.327$I4.22425@uchinews...
> In article <thplpl3...@corp.supernews.com>,
> Michael Liebmann <m...@aps-law.com> wrote:
> >>
> >> Oh, the biscuits in the Army they say are mighty fine, but one rolled
off
> >a
> >> table and killed a friend of mine.
> >>
> >I don't want no more of Army life, gee ma, I wanna go home.
> >
> >NEXT?
>
> The lifeforms on this planet, they say they have their charms;
> That is, until one hugs you with twenty thousand arms.
> Oh, I don't want no more of arm-y life . . .
>
Thank Ghu they do not use it as ice within their drinks.
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life . . . . . .
NEXT???
Arthur Levesque
PC>Oh the toilet stalls in starfleet, they say are mighty fine;
PC>When you pull the lever you can hear transporters whine.
PC>Oh, I don't want no more of starfleet life...
Oh the captains out in Starfleet, they went when duty called
There's something about that fourth pip; they always end up bald
Oh, I don't want no more of starfleet life...
NEXT!
--
Arthur Levesque
That way all the monsters know ho they're supposed to hurt
I don't want no more of Starfleet life...
David G. Bell
b...@boog.orgy "Arthur Levesque" wrote:
> Paul Ciszek (pci...@antiabuseworld.std.com) wrote:
> PC>Oh the toilet stalls in starfleet, they say are mighty fine;
> PC>When you pull the lever you can hear transporters whine.
> PC>Oh, I don't want no more of starfleet life...
>
> Oh the captains out in Starfleet, they went when duty called
> There's something about that fourth pip; they always end up bald
> Oh, I don't want no more of starfleet life...
Oh the ship crews picked by Starfleet are full of Ensigns by the score
But they never send a Sergeant; how come they don't lose more?
Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life...
--
David G. Bell -- Farmer, SF Fan, Filker, and Punslinger.
If I were to go back to my schooldays, knowing what I know now, I would
pack cheese sandwiches for lunch.
Arthur Levesque
That should be RED, obviously. I don't know what I was thinking.
Terence Chua
pci...@antiabuseworld.std.com (Paul Ciszek) wrote:
> In article <Xh5T6.327$I4.22425@uchinews>,
> Kevin Wald <wa...@ford.uchicago.edu> wrote:
> >
> >The lifeforms on this planet, they say they have their charms;
> >That is, until one hugs you with twenty thousand arms.
> >Oh, I don't want no more of arm-y life . . .
>
> You can replace "army" with "starfleet" and it scans the same.
> Has anyone done this obvious parody before? If not, I think we have an
> obligation.
>
> Oh the toilet stalls in starfleet, they say are mighty fine;
> When you pull the lever you can hear transporters whine.
> Oh, I don't want no more of starfleet life...
They say when you're in Starfleet, the food is mighty fine
The replicators and recyclers share the same pipeline
Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life
Admiral, I wanna go
Captain won't let me go
Mommy I wanna go home
I just joined up with Starfleet, the best among the best
They issued me a red shirt with a target on my chest
Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life...
They say when you're in Starfleet, the doctor's on the ball
He's tops in cryosurgery and smells of synthehol
Oh, I don't want no more of Starlfleet life...
They say when you're in Starfleet, the phasers are all fine
You point your weapon forward, the beam just shoots behind
Oh, I don't want no more of Starlfleet life...
----------
Terence Chua kh...@tim.org
WWW: http://www.khaosworks.org
KhaOS@TinyTIM: telnet://yay.tim.org:5440
"The meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us will go to the stars."
Joe Ellis
<kh...@tim.org> wrote:
> In article <GEGv0...@world.std.com>,
> pci...@antiabuseworld.std.com (Paul Ciszek) wrote:
>
> > In article <Xh5T6.327$I4.22425@uchinews>,
> > Kevin Wald <wa...@ford.uchicago.edu> wrote:
> > >
> > >The lifeforms on this planet, they say they have their charms;
> > >That is, until one hugs you with twenty thousand arms.
> > >Oh, I don't want no more of arm-y life . . .
> > <<snip>>
> > Oh the toilet stalls in starfleet, they say are mighty fine;
> > When you pull the lever you can hear transporters whine.
> > Oh, I don't want no more of starfleet life...
>
> They say when you're in Starfleet, the food is mighty fine
> The replicators and recyclers share the same pipeline
> Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life
> Admiral, I wanna go
> Captain won't let me go
> Mommy I wanna go home
>
> I just joined up with Starfleet, the best among the best
> They issued me a red shirt with a target on my chest
> Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life...
>
> They say when you're in Starfleet, the doctor's on the ball
> He's tops in cryosurgery and smells of synthehol
> Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life...
>
> They say when you're in Starfleet, the phasers are all fine
> You point your weapon forward, the beam just shoots behind
> Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life...
The Klingons are our friends now, we think it's mighty fine Joe Ellis
Except when they sing opera, which is almost all the time!
Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life...
Cardassians are tricky, their ships well armed and fast, Joe Ellis
But when it comes to battle, their tactics are half - OOOOHHHHHH yes,
I don't want no more of Starfleet life...
Deep in the Gamma Quadrant, we found the Jem Haddar. Joe Ellis
They ought to whip our tails good but the scripts won't go that far!
Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life...
The enemies of Starfleet harass us all the time, Joe Ellis
I've got my next assignment, it's Wolf 349!
Oh, I don't want... <<sounds of phaser fire and explosions, warning
sirens, MBR's voice announcing all sorts of dire emergencies while
accompaniment continues obliviously...>>
...<<spoken over music and chaos>>"We are the Borg. Resistance is futile.
You will be assimilated."...
--
Joe Ellis € The Synthetic Filker TesserAct Studios
| W W | W W W | W W | W W W | W W | W W W | W W | W W W |
| W W | W W W | W W | W W W | W W | W W W | W W | W W W |
|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
Filk € Fly Fishing € Model Railroading € Digital Photography
Joe Ellis
>
>They say when you're in Starfleet, the food is mighty fine
>The replicators and recyclers share the same pipeline
>Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life
The second line here seems a little awkward due to word accents not
falling where musical ones do - May I suggest:
>They say when you're in Starfleet, the food is mighty fine
>Replicators and recyclers both share the same pipeline
>Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life
Downbeat of second line to be on third syllable: rep-li-CA-tors
Just a suggestion... <grin>>
tomboy ISO tea party
> Paul Ciszek (pci...@antiabuseworld.std.com) wrote:
> PC>Oh the toilet stalls in starfleet, they say are mighty fine;
> PC>When you pull the lever you can hear transporters whine.
> PC>Oh, I don't want no more of starfleet life...
>
> Oh the captains out in Starfleet, they went when duty called
> There's something about that fourth pip; they always end up bald
> Oh, I don't want no more of starfleet life...
On the Planet of the Bimbos, gorgeous women sit and wait
But the stupid Prime Directive means that I can't get a date
Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life....
--Rose
--
I want to do my own mending.
Why? { http://i.am/rwp * r...@i.am }
Because, she said, I want to. { MKIOK }
--Judith Tarr, _The Golden Horn_
Wesley Struebing
Ciszek) wrote:
>In article <Xh5T6.327$I4.22425@uchinews>,
>Kevin Wald <wa...@ford.uchicago.edu> wrote:
>>
>>The lifeforms on this planet, they say they have their charms;
>>That is, until one hugs you with twenty thousand arms.
>>Oh, I don't want no more of arm-y life . . .
>
>You can replace "army" with "starfleet" and it scans the same.
>Has anyone done this obvious parody before? If not, I think we have an
>obligation.
Actually, Paul, Julia E. sang one (too) many years ago, at an
IndyCon(?) that I attended. Had most of us rolling in the aisless (or
falling off our chairs up in front)
>
>Oh the toilet stalls in starfleet, they say are mighty fine;
>When you pull the lever you can hear transporters whine.
>Oh, I don't want no more of starfleet life...
>
The pay we get in Starfleet, they say is mighty fine;
They give us 50 credits, then they take back 49!
Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life...
>NEXT!
--
-- Some work of noble note, may yet be done - Tennyson's "Ulysses"
--
--Wes Struebing
--
--+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
-- str...@americanisp.com
-- ph: 303-343-9006 / FAX: 303-343-9026
-- home page: http://users.americanisp.com/~struebing/
Leslie Fish
>
> Actually, I think Pete has plans for some more, but I also believe he is
> open for new ideas...have any ideas to spare??? <WEG> I have the ear so
to
> speak of the publisher on this one....LOL
>
"tract"...
--
--Leslie <;)))><
keith lim
The holodecks on starships, they work just like a charm.
Malfunctions seldom kill you; they merely cause great harm.
...
--
keith lim keit...@pobox.com http://pobox.com/~keithlim/
If anything can go wongr tiwili.
Terence Chua
05 Jun 2001 21:41:33 -0400, fil...@mindspring.com wrote:
>
>In article <khaos-7F1C5F....@news.newsguy.com>, Terence Chua
><kh...@tim.org> wrote:
>
>>
>>They say when you're in Starfleet, the food is mighty fine
>>The replicators and recyclers share the same pipeline
>>Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life
>
>The second line here seems a little awkward due to word accents not
>falling where musical ones do - May I suggest:
>
>>They say when you're in Starfleet, the food is mighty fine
>>Replicators and recyclers both share the same pipeline
>>Oh, I don't want no more of Starfleet life
>
>Downbeat of second line to be on third syllable: rep-li-CA-tors
I half suspect that the tune we sing it to locally is not quite the same tune as
it is sung in the U.S. - I'd have to dig out my tapes of M*A*S*H* to confirm it.
To me, I can squeeze in the syllables just fine, but hey, whatever works. :-)
Dave Aronson at att dot net or big foot dot com
> "There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different houses
> of worship, took them in for analysis, and probed them all the way
> through. They're completely wheat."
>
> "That's impossible. What about the prayers? All that stuff about
> flesh and blood?"
Reminds me of one of my favorite Bible quotes. It's from the New Testament
(forgive me, rabbi!). Loosely translated, Jesus says to his disciples:
"Eat me!"
Well, okay, VERY loosely....
--
Dave Aronson, Sysop of free public Fidonet BBS Air 'n Sun, +1-703-319-0714.
All the opinions above are MINE ALL MINE, but for rent at reasonable rates.
See my web site, at http://listen.to/davearonson (last updated 2001-06-03).
Device-driver proggers: see http://www.cryptek.com and send me your resume!
Arthur Levesque
Ferengi, Breen, and Cardies; and then the Jem'Hadar
I don't want no more of Starfleet life...
Shadowe_Lover
Cool! If we have time, we may be able to swing by and see him when you are
up here...just a thought...He is a very wonderful guy, and if he liked your
idea, may tell you to run with it....
Blesings,
Shadowe Lover
Arthur Levesque
Joel>houses of worship, took them in for analysis, and probed them all
Joel>the way through. They're completely wheat."
What, there aren't any churches that use Soylent Green wafers for
authenticity?
ObFilk: http://boog.org/text/mf-sg.txt
Michael Liebmann
news:GEGv0...@world.std.com...
> >
> >The lifeforms on this planet, they say they have their charms;
> >That is, until one hugs you with twenty thousand arms.
> >Oh, I don't want no more of arm-y life . . .
>
> Has anyone done this obvious parody before? If not, I think we have an
> obligation.
>
> When you pull the lever you can hear transporters whine.
>
Oh the doors inside a starship, they make you have to shush
'cuz when the close or open, they make a noisy "whoosh"
Oh, I don't want no more of starfleet life . . . . .
NEXT?
--
Michael Liebmann (sff...@bellsouth.net or m...@aps-law.com)
SFFilk, LLC (www.geocities.com/sffilk/sffilk.htm)
GaFiA (www.geocities.com/sffilk/gafia.htm)
GaFilkliFaG (www.gafilk.org) 11-13JAN02
Strangers No More, We Sing!
"It isn't my fault that I'm supposed to be living in a musical and got
stuck in a dramatic production." --Robert Cooke, on rec.music.filk
Michael Liebmann
news:filker-0506...@user-37kass3.dialup.mindspring.com...
>
> The enemies of Starfleet harass us all the time, Joe Ellis
> I've got my next assignment, it's Wolf 349!
Ah, Joe, it was Wolf 3*5*9, not 349, OK?
Harold Feld
> Joel Polowin wrote:
>
> > "There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different houses
> > of worship, took them in for analysis, and probed them all the way
> > through. They're completely wheat."
> >
> > "That's impossible. What about the prayers? All that stuff about
> > flesh and blood?"
>
> Reminds me of one of my favorite Bible quotes. It's from the New Testament
> (forgive me, rabbi!). Loosely translated, Jesus says to his disciples:
>
> "Eat me!"
>
> Well, okay, VERY loosely....
Not that it's my favorite theology, mind, but even a literalist
has a simple explanation for this one. It ONLY works when the
consecrated priest puts it in the communicant's mouth. Until the
transformation takes place, the wafer is just that, a wafer.
Of course, many Christian's have failed to note this point of
dogma, hence the libel of the Desecration of the Host (in which Jews
were accused of desecrating wafers for neferious purposes, usually with
acompanying testimony of how the wafer bled, etc.)
Harold
Copper Squirrel
foot dot com <postm...@airnsun.dcfido.org> wrote:
>
>Reminds me of one of my favorite Bible quotes. It's from the New Testament
>(forgive me, rabbi!). Loosely translated, Jesus says to his disciples:
>
> "Eat me!"
>
>Well, okay, VERY loosely....
ROFL!
Chris Croughton
<m...@world.std.Take.This.Out.com> wrote:
>Over in East-Pondia, you may never have seen the commercials for IIRC
>Puffed Wheat and Puffed Rice breakfast cereals: "Shot from Guns!"
Nope. Anyone got copies? (Yes, I can play NTSC tapes...)
Chris C