Triggering Documents on View

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Jim Goulder

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Sep 18, 2021, 3:44:42 AMSep 18
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National Archives introduces 'harmful language alert' for records, including
Constitution
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/national-archives-introduce-harmful-
content-warning

Engrossed Declaration of Independence
https://catalog.archives.gov/id/1419123

Constitution of the United States
https://catalog.archives.gov/id/1667751

Bill of Rights
https://catalog.archives.gov/id/1408042


To: "Poisoning Pigeons In The Park" [Tom Lehrer, 1959]

Tom Lehrer - Poisoning Pigeons In The Park
https://youtu.be/yhuMLpdnOjY

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park (Originally Performed by Tom Lehrer) (Karaoke)
https://youtu.be/PWHbPPuTvYo


INTRO

NARA's site: the archival site,
Now adapted to human fright.
Isn't it thoughtful of them to highlight users' plight?
How woke! PC--at a stroke!
But how could our forbears have lionized,
These Founders and Framers so compromised?


VERSE

In the nation's archive where old records survive,
There are triggering documents on view.
There are frightening sights like the first Bill of Rights,
In the triggering documents on view.

A warning regarding their language is ominous,
We flinch and we cringe 'cause of triggers' sheer common-ness.
What won't they contrive to make us scared alive,
By these triggering documents on view?

La-laa-laa-la-la-la-doo-dee-dee-doo-doo-doo...


BRIDGE

Our own Constitution,
Contains an allusion,
To old persecution.
It's in there.
Without diminution,
This hateful conclusion,
Becomes an intrusion,
That gives us a scare.

For a document, once it gets bigger,
Is sure to be hiding a trigger.


VERSE

So, if you have thin skin,
You had best not log in,
To these triggering documents on view.
A "When in the course...",
Might turn into the source,
Of a terribly temperamental stew.

Before we got woke, we might once have been curious,
But now we know better: these docs are injurious.

Our pulse will be racing,
Whenever we're facing,
These hideous parchments,
(In zoomed-in enlargements),
Of triggering documents on view.

Gary McGath

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Sep 18, 2021, 6:02:54 AMSep 18
to
On 9/18/21 3:44 AM, Jim Goulder wrote:
> National Archives introduces 'harmful language alert' for records, including
> Constitution
> https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/national-archives-introduce-harmful-
> content-warning
>
> Engrossed Declaration of Independence
> https://catalog.archives.gov/id/1419123
>
> Constitution of the United States
> https://catalog.archives.gov/id/1667751
>
> Bill of Rights
> https://catalog.archives.gov/id/1408042
>


I had hoped that the Biden administration would be less insane than the
Trump administration. There isn't much hope left now. It treats people
as less than children, telling us we may suffer "harm" from reading the
words that tell it what it may or may not do.

I'd have taken a slightly different approach, stressing the government's
attempt to keep up uninformed by scaring us. Maybe I'll come up with
something soon.

--
Gary McGath http://www.mcgath.com
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