Weird Al's Amish Paradise (LYRICS INSIDE!) - amishpar.zip (0/7)
Zonker T. Harris
-Z
le...@epix.net (Lex Friedman) wrote:
>For fans who don't get/watch MTV, the Amish Paradise lyrics (just can't
>wait till tomorrow, huh?)
>Amish Paradise; original lyrics by Stevie Wonder, second tune by Coolio,
>second lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic.
>As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain,
>I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain!
>But that's just perfect for an Amish like me,
>You know I fun fancy things like electricity!
>At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milkin cows,
>Jebidiah feeds the chickens, and Jacob plows - fool.
>And I'm been feedin' and milkin so long
>that even Ezikal thinks that my mind is gone...
>I'm a man of the land, I'm in to discipline...
>Got a bible in my hand and a beard on my chin.
>But if I finish all of my chores,
>and you finish thine,
>Then tonight we're gonna party
>like it's 1699.
>We've been spending most our lives livin' in an Amish paradise...
>I churn butter once or twice livin' in an Amish paradise...
>It's hard work and sacrifice livin' in an Amish paradise...
>We sell quilts and dicount price, livin' in an Amish paradise...
>A local boy kicked me in the butt last week,
>but I just smiled at him, and turned the other cheek.
>I really don't care -- in fact I wish him well...
>Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell.
>But I ain't ever punched a tourist even if he deserves it,
>An Amish with a tool, you know that's unheard of!
>And I never wear buttons, but I gotta cool hat,
>And my homies agree - I really look good in black - fool.
>If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears!
>We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years.
>But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare...
>We're just technologically impaired.
>There's no phone, no lights, no motor car,
>not a single luxery;
>Like Robinson Caruso,
>it's as primative as can be!
>We've been spending most our lives livin' in an Amish paradise...
>We're just plain and simple guys, livin' in an Amish paradise...
>There's no time for sin and vice, livin' in an Amish paradise...
>We don't fight; we all play nice, livin' in an Amish paradise...
>Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter...
>I razed a barn on Monday, soon I'll raze 'a nudder'... (another)
>Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure at heart?
>Well I know I'm a million times more humble than thou art...
>I'm the pious guy the little Amish wanna be like...
>I'm on my knees day and night scoring points for the after life!
>So don't be vain - and don't be whine-y!
>Or else my brother, I might have to get midaevil on your heiny!
>We've been spending most our lives livin' in an Amish paradise...
>(this is the line recorded phonetically backwards for the video: )
>We're all crazy Menonites livin' in an Amish paradise...
>There's no cops or traffic lights livin' in an Amish paradise.
>But you probably think it bites! - Livin' in an Amish paradise...
>Ah...
>Yech.
>(Typed very quickly while watching my taped copy of the video, sorry for
>typos etc.)
>-Lex
>Lex Friedman ,,, On IRC: Quam
>---------...@epix.net---------------ooO(o o)Ooo------------
> "When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China."
> Rush to http://www.epix.net/~lexf/ac.html
>Weird Al For President in 1996: http://www.epix.net/~lexf/al.html
> www.apple.com - how Microsoft finds where they want to go today
>Lex Friedman ,,, On IRC: Quam
>---------...@epix.net---------------ooO(o o)Ooo------------
> "When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China."
> Rush to http://www.epix.net/~lexf/ac.html
>Weird Al For President in 1996: http://www.epix.net/~lexf/al.html
> www.apple.com - how Microsoft finds where they want to go today