one hen, two ducks

[messer,wendy k]

Can some demented person help me?
I'm looking for the words to the old Jerry Lewis routine that
went "one hen, one hen two ducks, one hen two ducks three squawking geese,
etc.etc.etc"

If possible, please post to this newsgroup or send me e-mail

Thanks,

Wendy

[Elliott Schiff]

Excerpts from netnews.rec.music.dementia: 15-Apr-94 one hen, two ducks
messer,wendy k...@nestor.cc (264)

> I'm looking for the words to the old Jerry Lewis routine that
> went "one hen, one hen two ducks, one hen two ducks three squawking geese,
etc.etc.etc"

Here are the lyrics, as performed by "Blue Chips"

One hen
Two ducks
Three squawking geese
Four Limerick oysters
Five corpulent porpoises
Six pairs of Don Alberzo's tweezers
Seven thousand Mascedonians in full battle array
Eight brass monkeys from the ancient sacred crypts of Egypt
Nine apathetic diabetic old men on roller skates with a marked propensity to
procrastination and sloth
Ten lyrical spherical denizens of the deep who haul stall around the corner
of the quo of the quay of the queasy at the very same time

EllioTT Schiff ---> es...@andrew.cmu.edu
All right, Bird, beat this: andrew.cmu.edu!bb3.andrew.cmu.edu!pitt.edu!
uunet!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!mentor.cc.purdue.edu!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!
court.spectrum.bball!.......nothing but net.

[jeffrey david sensabaugh]

Here is the version I learned at summer camp, WITH one additional verse.

One hen
Two ducks
Three squawking geese

Four limericking oysters
Five corpulent porpoises
Six pairs of Don Elveezer's [sic] tweezers
Seven thousand Arabian knights in full battle array
Eight brass monkeys from the ancient and sacred crypts of Egypt
Nine sympathetic apathetic diabetic old men on roller skates with a
marked propensity toward procrastination and sloth
Ten lyrical spherical diabolical denizens of the deep blue sea who
haul the stall at the corner of the key at the quivvy of the quo[?]
all at the same time
Eleven octopi with fungi their eye, who began to cry when they were
forced to leave their home, which was shaped like a dome, to
return to the surface world.

The subjects of Four and Five may be switched (four corpulent porpoises
is more alliterative, but doesn't sound quite correct) and I'm not sure
that Ten is quite right, since 'quivvy of the quo' makes little sense.

This series was used to torment rookies at camp. Older scouts would
call new scouts up and make them repeat the series, each time adding an item.
For a while, people came up with topical variations on the series, including
one that started 'One world, two superpowers, three billion people, etc.'
(I wish I could remember the rest). I also remember a variant based on
TV shows, and one based on the Miami Dolphins. Hope this helps,

Jeff

--
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
Jeff Sensabaugh : "People say I'm dumb, but I know my Smokey from my
: Bandit." -Laura Sensabaugh
:

[Chris P. Mezzolesta]

This was also recorded by Flo and Eddie around 1972 on an LP called
"Illegal Immoral and Fattening", this was titled something like "The
Ancient Tibetan Memory Trick".

In a previous article, es...@andrew.cmu.edu (Elliott Schiff) says:

>Here are the lyrics, as performed by "Blue Chips"

I've heard certain extra words in there, shown as **word**

>One hen
>Two ducks
>Three squawking geese
>Four Limerick oysters
>Five corpulent porpoises
>Six pairs of Don Alberzo's tweezers
>Seven thousand Mascedonians in full battle array
>Eight brass monkeys from the ancient sacred crypts of Egypt

>Nine apathetic **sympathetic** diabetic old men on roller skates with a
marked propensity to (toward?) procrastination and sloth
>Ten lyrical spherical **diabolical** denizens of the deep who haul stall around the corner
>of the quo of the quay of the queasy at the very same time **(all at the
same time)**

Or something like that...first saw King Jerry do it on a live HBO special
in the late 70's, then heard the F&E version on Dr D around 1981-2.

I'll have to see if any of my (infinitely more experienced than myself)
colleagues here in the radio/advertising industry can help me find the
manuscript for this, who knows...

Of course the object is to add the next line to the previous ones, a la "12
Days of Xmas", and as quickly and clearly as possible!

C
--
Chris P. Mezzolesta /// "With all its hopes, dreams, promises and
ds...@cleveland.freenet.edu /// urban renewal, the world continues to
Voice Artist/Musician/Eediot! /// deteriorate...GIVE UP." - Nat'l Lampoon
Member, American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (biiiiiig deal!)

[C/D Eskridge]

In article <1994Apr16....@midway.uchicago.edu>,

jeffrey david sensabaugh <se...@midway.uchicago.edu> wrote:
>Here is the version I learned at summer camp, WITH one additional verse.
>
>One hen
>Two ducks
>Three squawking geese
>Four limericking oysters
>Five corpulent porpoises
>Six pairs of Don Elveezer's [sic] tweezers
>Seven thousand Arabian knights in full battle array
>Eight brass monkeys from the ancient and sacred crypts of Egypt
>Nine sympathetic apathetic diabetic old men on roller skates with a
> marked propensity toward procrastination and sloth
>Ten lyrical spherical diabolical denizens of the deep blue sea who
> haul the stall at the corner of the key at the quivvy of the quo[?]
> all at the same time
>Eleven octopi with fungi their eye, who began to cry when they were
> forced to leave their home, which was shaped like a dome, to
> return to the surface world.
>
>The subjects of Four and Five may be switched (four corpulent porpoises
>is more alliterative, but doesn't sound quite correct) and I'm not sure
>that Ten is quite right, since 'quivvy of the quo' makes little sense.

> :
You do have four and five reversed since I grew up in Limerick Pa
and we used this as a theatre warm up It stuck very well in my
memory. Seven should be Seven thousand Masadoneans in full Battle Array
too.

Curt

[Brian Leibowitz]

This is on Flo and Eddie - Illegal, Immoral and Fattening
It is the Tibetan Memory Trick in the cut The Sanzini Brothers Return.
(from the liner notes)

One Hen
Two Ducks
Three Squalking geese
Four Limerick oysters
Five corpulent porpoises
Six pairs of Don Alvarsos' tweezers
Seven thousand Macedonians in full battle array
Eight brass monkeys from the ancient sacred crypts of Egypt
Nine apathetic, sypathetic, diabetic old men on roller skates with a marked

propensity toward procrastination and sloth

Ten lyrical, spherical, diabolical denizens of the deep, who haul quay
around the quo of the quivvy of the quarry all at the same time

the credits read *Special thanks to Jerry Lewis and Del Moore for the use
of The Tibetan Memory Trick*

- - - - -
bml

[Doug Shaw]

There's an old memory game I learnt years ago which involves
the following:
One hen

two ducks
three squawking geese

four limerick oysters
five pregnant pilgrim
six pairs of Don Alfonso's Tweezers
seven thousand macedonians in full battle array
eight brass monkeys from the sacred sandy crypt of ancient egypt,
and
nine sympathetic, apathetic, diabetic old men on roller skates
with a marked propensity for procrastination and sloth.

I believe there is a tenth line, but I don't know it.

Best,

Douglas Adams

[Doug Shaw]

...oops, I forgot to mention that this was forwarded from alt.fan.douglas_adams,
not authored by me...

[Glenn Mantel]

One Hen
Two Ducks
Three Squawking Geese
Four Limerick Oysters
Five Corpulent Porpoises
Six Pairs of Don Alverzo's Tweezers
Seven Thousand Macedonians In Full Battle Array
Eight Brass Monkeys from the Ancient Sacred Crypts of Egypt
Nine Sympathetic Apathetic Diabetic Old Men On Roller Skates With A Marked Propensity For Procrastination and Sloth
Ten Lyrical Spherical Diabolical Denizens of the Deep Who Haul and Stall Around the Quay and the Quarry All At The Same Time

[Leo Frishberg]

Our family has been reciting this memory test for nearly 100 years.
Our variant differs from the Jerry Lewis version as follows:
One duck
Two hens
Three squawking geese
Four corpulent porpoises
Five limerick oysters
Six pairs of Don Alfonso's tweezers
Seven hundred Macedonian warriors in full battle array
Eight brass monkeys from the sacred and ancient crypts of Egypt
Nine sympathetic apathetic diabetic old men on crutches
Ten lyrical spherical heliotropes from the ilio-monastic institute