Worst Lyric of All Time
Jim Hutchins
abysmal Toto lyric:
"I know that I must do what's right
Sure as Kilamanjaro rises like a lepress
Above the Serengeti."
This may be the worst song lyric ever (though, taken as a whole, not
the worst song). Bad, not the very worstest.
Can anyone come up with a worse lyric?
--
Jim Hutchins hutc...@netdoor.com hutc...@umsmed.edu
http://www.umsmed.edu/~hutchins/
Annie the Aust Cattle Dog // Kodiak the Norwegian Elkhound
"Morde diem" ****** Annie's motto ****** "Bite the Day"
Jerry R. Blevins
MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
It goes on and on, but you get the picture...
--Joe--
--
================================================
MY SIG. SEZ:
I'm not Jerry
================================================
Norman Buchwald
>"MacArthur Park" has some pretty awful lyrics.
> MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
> All the sweet green icing flowing down
> Someone left the cake out in the rain
> I don't think that I can take it
> 'Cause it took so long to bake it
> And I'll never have that recipe again
>
>It goes on and on, but you get the picture...
Your face looks like a cake left out in the rain.
Is your name "MacArthur Parker" or is it Reba?
from "Detour Through Your Mind"-- B-52s
The Storm
How about this line:
"Black panties with an angel's face" (and the two lines that precede it)
That was the last straw for The Steve Miller Band, I think.
ZYen Ian Harris
In article <4cphb1$n...@axe.netdoor.com>, Jim Hutchins (hutc...@netdoor.com) writes:
>Whilst trapped in my car, I was forced to listen to the following
>abysmal Toto lyric:
>"I know that I must do what's right
>Sure as Kilamanjaro rises like a lepress
>Above the Serengeti."
I know that I must do what's right and correct your second line.
I'm pretty sure that the line is "Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like
Olympus above the Serengeti" (not "a lepress"). Even back in the
heady days of 1983 references to lepers in that context would not
have been PC. Further, I should imagine that a female leper is a
leper, not a lepress (but I'm prepared to be proved wrong on that
one).
I do recall voting the self same lines the most pretentious lyrics
of the year 1983 (and before you all flame me with "wrong year"
postings, I assure you that this song charted as a single in the
UK in 1983 and even made top ten despite the ghastly lyrics).
Isn't it always the way, these songs crop up on the radio when your
stuck in a traffic jam just longing for some Tom Lehrer or PDQ
Bach.
Ian
zzzzzzzz
z z
z z
z z eeee n nn
z e e nn n
z e n n
zzzzzzzzz eeee n n
Z/Yen
Brian A. Sebby
:
: >Whilst trapped in my car, I was forced to listen to the following
: >abysmal Toto lyric:
: >"I know that I must do what's right
: >Sure as Kilamanjaro rises like a lepress
: >Above the Serengeti."
: have been PC. Further, I should imagine that a female leper is a
: leper, not a lepress (but I'm prepared to be proved wrong on that
: one).
I believe he was referring to a female leopard.
Also, I wish to cast my vote for one of my least favorite lyrics, which was
pointed out by Dave Barry in his worst song survey (lots of bad lyrics AND
music in his book "Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up."
The lyrics that I am referring to are in Neil Diamond's song "I am, I Said" in
which he proclaims:
"I am, I said.
To no one there.
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair."
? Oh, well...
: Ian
--
Brian Sebby, da...@imsa.edu, da...@prairienet.org
Joseph C Fineman
>I'm pretty sure that the line is "Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like
>Olympus above the Serengeti" (not "a lepress").
My instant emendation was "a leopardess"! A distinct improvement.
%^)
--
Joe Fineman j...@world.std.com
239 Clinton Road (617) 731-9190
Brookline, MA 02146
gl...@delphi.com
>This may be the worst song lyric ever (though, taken as a whole, not
>the worst song). Bad, not the very worstest.
>
>Can anyone come up with a worse lyric?
it's a VERY BAD lyric stuck in the middle of a NOT so bad song:
Loretta Lynn.
Coal Miner's Daughter.
And the lyric I claim deserves the title of Worst:
"The work we done was HARD
At night, we slept, cause we was TAHRD."
Nancy G
still can't listen to Loretta sing without picturing Sissy Spacek.
ChrisMezzo
Hutchins) writes:
>"I know that I must do what's right
>Sure as Kilamanjaro rises like a lepress
>Above the Serengeti."
>
>This may be the worst song lyric ever (though, taken as a whole, not
>the worst song). Bad, not the very worstest.
>
>Can anyone come up with a worse lyric?
Heck, there are MILLIONS worse than *that*!!! That's one of the lines that
makes that tune great for me! as a songwriter, those are lyrics I'd kill
to have written! matter of taste....
This really isn't on-topic to this newsgroup, so to keep things relevant,
I'll add my favorite demented bad lyric, the ultimate:
AYYYWOODIRFUFOIEOINREIUGLIEUFVGELRIULKERUG~BF ELIUGIUGERFUIGERFVL
UIGELVUIGERVU PARALYZED!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PARALYZED!
etc etc etc
C
ChrisMezzo
Ian Harris) writes:
>Even back in the
>heady days of 1983 references to lepers in that context would not
>have been PC. Further, I should imagine that a female leper is a
>leper, not a lepress (but I'm prepared to be proved wrong on that
>one).
uhhhhhhhhhhhh, it's like, lepress, female leopard, like, jungle & all
that? Africa, right?
uh huh huh huh huh
ZYen Ian Harris
>: >Whilst trapped in my car, I was forced to listen to the following
>: >abysmal Toto lyric:
>
>: >"I know that I must do what's right
>: >Sure as Kilamanjaro rises like a lepress
>: >Above the Serengeti."
>:I'm pretty sure that the line is "Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like
>:Olympus above the Serengeti" (not "a lepress").
>: ... I should imagine that a female leper is a
>: leper, not a lepress (but I'm prepared to be proved wrong on that
>: one).
>I believe he was referring to a female leopard.
I don't know why this thread is making me feel so pedantic (and I
apologise for it) but a female leopard is a leopardess, not a
lepress. Is there no-one out there who will support me in my two
hypotheses:
1) The wretched lyric mentions "Olympus", not "a lepress"
2) The word "lepress" does not exist
I have a third hypothesis, now I come to think of it. The
pretentious git who wrote the lyrics to Africa would be laughing his
head off if he knew that I was agonising over that unbelievably daft
couplet!!
gl...@delphi.com
>uhhhhhhhhhhhh, it's like, lepress, female leopard, like, jungle & all
>that? Africa, right?
>
>uh huh huh huh huh
flaming posters for no other reason than the "AOL.com" in their
address?
Nancy G
And by the way, a female leopard is a leopardess.
Oh, sorry ... I forgot. Let me say it again:
Like, uh, a female leopard, y'know, like, uh, Africa?
Ummmmmm...it's, like, a leopardess?
Huh huh huh huh jeeeeeeeeezzzzzzz........
this sucks, Beavis.
Michael Christopher Vanier
>Whilst trapped in my car, I was forced to listen to the following
>abysmal Toto lyric:
>
>"I know that I must do what's right
>Sure as Kilamanjaro rises like a lepress
>Above the Serengeti."
>
>the worst song). Bad, not the very worstest.
>
>Can anyone come up with a worse lyric?
>Jim Hutchins hutc...@netdoor.com hutc...@umsmed.edu
>http://www.umsmed.edu/~hutchins/
>Annie the Aust Cattle Dog // Kodiak the Norwegian Elkhound
>"Morde diem" ****** Annie's motto ****** "Bite the Day"
How about the Steve Miller song "Take the Money and Run", which has this
priceless lyric:
"Billy Mac is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows exactly what the facts is [nice rhyme, huh?]
He ain't gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his living off other people's taxes"
And what about the legendary song "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro, which has to
take the cake for all-time smarminess of lyrics:
"And I surprised her with a puppy
Kept me up all Christmas Eve two years ago..."
and later,
"One day when she was all alone
And I was out and not at home
The angels came" [i.e. she died or killed herself]
I'm quoting from memory so the lyrics may not be exactly correct, but you
get the idea. I have such a high opinion of the low quality of Bobby
Goldsboro's lyrics that I think the unit of lyrical awfulness should be the
Goldsboro. "Take the Money and Run" would rate about 0.5 Goldsboros on this
scale. And if you think "Honey" is bad, try "Watching Scotty Grow" or
especially "A Butterfly for Bucky" where a butterfly flying into a hospital
window restores the sight of a blind boy named Bucky. Truly epic.
Mike
--
------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Vanier mva...@bbb.caltech.edu
Department of Computation and Neural Systems, Caltech 216-76
------------------------------------------------------------
ChrisMezzo
>Would this be an example of why so many people seem so fond of
>flaming posters for no other reason than the "AOL.com" in their
>address?
>Nancy G
>And by the way, a female leopard is a leopardess.
>Oh, sorry ... I forgot. Let me say it again:
>Like, uh, a female leopard, y'know, like, uh, Africa?
>Ummmmmm...it's, like, a leopardess?
>Huh huh huh huh jeeeeeeeeezzzzzzz........
>this sucks, Beavis.
Gee whiz, trying to be funny in a humor-related newsgroup, sorry, I guess
I'll shut up and let those with "real" ISP's run the group. Guess that
also leaves out Jeff Morris, our unofficial moderator-of-sorts and keeper
of our FAQ and Web site, and Annie, keeper of the Demented Address file.
Sorry to regular readers...this has been pissing me off for a long time
but I've never been the recipient of any anti-AOL B.S. til now.
So gracefully back onto r.m.d, I will AT THE EARLIEST OPPORTUNITY begin my
next long-ago-promised review, of the brilliant homebrew'd recording, the
Rudy Schwartz Project's "Don't Get Charred, Get Puffy", brainchild of our
own Joe Newman, so WATCH for it! Reviews are archived at
http://copper.ucs.indiana.edu/~jbmorris
staying demented, or trying to in the face of narrow-minded adversity,
C
gl...@delphi.com
I can't take credit for them, though. A well-known
syndicated columnist who shall DAVE remain BARRY nameless
mentioned these among many others in his "Worst Song"
contest of last year ... but I thought these two
particularly appropriate for the worst *LYRICS* thread.
And they're BOTH by the same artist ... Neil Diamond.
1) I am, I said
To no one there
But no one heard at all,
Not even the chair .
.
2) Song she sang to me,
Song she brang to me
.
Ah yes. Timeless.
Nancy G
(p.s. My husband wants to nominate "Lola" for this title)
ChrisMezzo
to a few random Beavis & Butthead impersonations on this newsgroup.
Let me state that I did not intend to belittle or ridicule either the
person who didn't like "Africa" or anyone who misheard the "lepress" or
whatever line. I misheard it too. I was trying to not sound harsh in my
disagreement and I failed evidently.
So to Nancy G, Zyen Ian, and others who may have been put off by my ill
attempt at keeping humor on this group, may I quote the omnipresent Rodney
King: "Can't we all just...." well I guess you all know the rest...
C
gl...@delphi.com
Chris from AOL and I started what seemed to be a bit of a flame fest
in this thread (regarding the "lepress"). We've exchanged e-mail and
have agreed to go back to acting like grown-ups again.
I was originally ticked off at him for what *I perceived* as his
insult to another poster. I came down a little hard on him, because
I thought he had come down a little hard on the other person.
Anyway, we've talked (behind everyone else's back) and have agreed
to lighten up and to be more clear about when we're trying to be
humorous.
Nancy G
really a nice person, most of the time.
(In my defense ... I take part in several other newsgroups where
everything ... on topic or not ... is discussed "in public."
I haven't read this group long enough to realize that you folk
seem to follow the very sensible "take it to e-mail" policy.
Sorry.)
PaHaT
He lives up in the thunderclouds and comes down from the sky."
The Immortals--Mortal Kombat:The Album
ZYen Ian Harris
>>abysmal Toto lyric:
>>
>>"I know that I must do what's right
>>Sure as Kilamanjaro rises like a lepress
>>Above the Serengeti."
>
like Olympus above the Serengeti" and caused a flood of discussion
about lepers, leopardesses and all manner of strange matters.
I have taken the matter up with Bobby Kimball of Toto himself and
now have the definitive answer. We were all wrong!! The line
reads "Sure as Kilamanjaro rises like a left breast above the
Serengeti". The line was a reference to a silicon implant
which had recently been received by a Toto member's girfriend.
This confirms two useful facts about the song Africa:
1) it was a non-PC song after all;
2) Africa does have demented lyrics, so discussion about this
track is fair game for this newsgroup.
Hope this helps
Jerry R. Blevins
Playboys' "She's Just My Style"...
Maybe it's the clothes she wears
Or the way she combs her hair
Oh, that makes me want to tell her that I care
The more you *think* about those lyrics, the dumber they get. Oh, and
"Lightning Strikes" by Lou Christie has some truly horrid lyrics, too.
I almost forgot one of the worst rhymes I've ever heard in a song!
"Motorcycle Mama" by Sailcat (later remade by the Sugarcubes) contains
this couplet...
We'll be a trio
The baby makes three-oh!
WEASEL BOY
>I have a third hypothesis, now I come to think of it. The
>pretentious git who wrote the lyrics to Africa would be laughing his
>head off if he knew that I was agonising over that unbelievably daft
>couplet!!
Yes, especially since the worst lyric ever is "I'm serious as cancer when
I say rhythm is a dancer."
just thought you'd like to know..
Lex Friedman
"I said na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na..."
Land of 1,000 Dances
Or, the pop single:
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
"What if God was one of us... Just a slob like one of us..."
What if God Was One of Us
"I tried to call you before, but I lost my nerve...
I tried my imagination,
but I was disturbed..."
Jenny(867-5309)
We can only wonder if he meant mentally disturbed or if someone bumped into him.
Cheers,
Lex :)
___________________________Lex Friedman__________________________
Email: Le...@epix.net On IRC: Quam
"Dead puppies aren't much fun."
A.C. Online: Making the Internet - and you - a little cooler.
Rush to http://www.epix.net/~lexf/ac.html
Weird Al For President in 1996: http://www.epix.net/~lexf/al.html
www.apple.com - where Microsoft finds where they want to go today
John Price
>And what about the legendary song "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro, which has to
>take the cake for all-time smarminess of lyrics:
>
>"And I surprised her with a puppy
> Kept me up all Christmas Eve two years ago..."
>
>and later,
>
>"One day when she was all alone
> And I was out and not at home
> The angels came" [i.e. she died or killed herself]
>
Mike, I've been hanging back wondering when someone would mention
"Honey". My pick for worst all time lyric out of that mess is the nested
couplet:
She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I'd be mad
But what the heck.
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck.
It just don't get any worse!
OB demented comment: This song and others like it are so bad they really
can't be parodied--how can the takeoff be funnier than the (inadvertent)
humor of the original?
jhp
Ted Lasssagne
>Can anyone come up with a worse lyric?
My admiration for Ira Gershwin is almost unbounded, but he did write
one of the worst lyrics of all time:
Of Thee I Sing, BABY
Summer, autumn, winter, spring, BABY
Joseph C Fineman
this one surely belongs in the current thread:
Tho' I walks with fifty 'ousemaids outer Chelsea to the Strand....
If one is _reciting_ this, it is just barely possible, by putting
enormous stress on "fifty", to get the intended meaning across (I
don't care how many housemaids I date). But when, as usual, it is
sung, there is no getting away from that poor ex-soldier walking the
streets of London with 50 housemaids in tow.
My nominee for the worst rhyme of all time is also in a song that I
otherwise admire:
There is a tree in Paradise,
And the pilgrims call it the tree of life.
The last word is spread over two whole bars, during which the naive
listener may consider whether it is going to be "lies" or "lice".
Joseph C Fineman
>OB demented comment: This song and others like it are so bad they really
>can't be parodied--how can the takeoff be funnier than the (inadvertent)
>humor of the original?
There is an anthology of parodies by Dwight Macdonald. Two of its
chapters are entitled "Self-Parody (Intentional)" & "Self-Parody
(Unintentional)".
Skippy the Jumbo Shrimp
This is a most enjoyable thread. I'm surprised nobody's mentioned the
following lyrics prior to now:
You're a hot-blooded woman-child
And it's warm where you're touching me
(1972's "Baby, Don't Get Hooked on Me," by Mac Davis)
> Or, the pop single:
>
> "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
> "What if God was one of us... Just a slob like one of us..."
Is that by somebody named Joan Osborne? Being on a college campus, I'm
always racing to the radio for the power switch whenever that blasted
recording begins. What's it called? I've been writing a list of my least-
favourites recently but couldn't identify this brand of noise pollution.
> "I tried to call you before, but I lost my nerve...
> I tried my imagination,
> but I was disturbed..."
> Jenny(867-5309)
> We can only wonder if he meant mentally disturbed or if someone bumped
> into him.
I tried hard explaining to a close friend why this is a moronic song, but I
might as well have been addressing a brick wall. Thanks for backing me up.
Then there's the repeated sequence from 1971's "Does Anybody Really Know What
Time It Is?" Very convincing. . . .
And with such treats as "The Magic Bus" and "Levon," the possibilities
are infinite. Others?
--Todd J. Hunter
Heidi 'WarHamster' Haney
In article <4d3lr3$r...@ornews.intel.com> John Price <john_...@ccm.hf.intel.com> writes:
> mva...@cco.caltech.edu (Michael Christopher Vanier) wrote:
>
> >And what about the legendary song "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro, which has to
> >take the cake for all-time smarminess of lyrics:
> >
> "Honey".
>
> can't be parodied--how can the takeoff be funnier than the (inadvertent)
> humor of the original?
>
On reruns of The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour (right title?), Tommy
and Dick did a sketch where Tommy was a tour guide at the Actual Honey
House. It had everything, including a car front crashed through a
kitchen wall. After the tourist left (sobbing), Tommy and Dick trade
jackets and for the next group, Dick lead the tour, featuring Tommy.
Meanwhile, one of my suggestions for worst lyric... I heard that John
Lennon hated this line from a Paul McCartney song, Live and Let Die:
But in this ever-changing world in which we live in
Makes me give it a (try?)
To Live and Let Die.
That isn't even good grammar!
--
== he...@olivia.cedar-rapids.ia.us ==
Daniel Kravetz
For horribly bad lyrics, Broadway can still match the worst of them.
F'rinstance, the current production of VICTOR/VICTORIA has a song
called "Paris makes me horny" (fortunately, it isn't one of Julie
Andrews' numbers) with the line "When I went to Stockholm, I brought
a lot of shlock home." This was written by none other than Leslie
Bricusse, who did nice stuff like "What Kind of Fool am I?" some
35 years ago.
>
>
>
Dan Kravetz
Gilbert & Sullivan Society of New York
Shalom Septimus
Heidi 'WarHamster' Haney <he...@olivia.cedar-rapids.ia.us> wrote:
[snip]
>
>Meanwhile, one of my suggestions for worst lyric... I heard that John
>Lennon hated this line from a Paul McCartney song, Live and Let Die:
>
>But in this ever-changing world in which we live in
>Makes me give it a (try?)
>To Live and Let Die.
>
>That isn't even good grammar!
I thought that the line was "...makes you give in and cry,/Say 'Live And
Let Die.'"
Admittedly, there's at least one two many "in"'s in the line (depending on
whether the first one is supposed to be "in" or "if", there might be two
too many.)
--
||J.Alan Septimus||You can't have everything...||sept...@acsu.buffalo.edu
|| KA2GYP ||...where would you put it? ||NYS Pharmacy Intern # 071612
||===============||==========Stephen Wright====||NYC Locksmith License 824141
Kaylum
he...@olivia.cedar-rapids.ia.us (Heidi 'WarHamster' Haney) writes:
>Meanwhile, one of my suggestions for worst lyric... I heard that John
>Lennon hated this line from a Paul McCartney song, Live and Let Die:
>
>But in this ever-changing world in which we live in
>Makes me give it a (try?)
>To Live and Let Die.
>
>That isn't even good grammar!
As far as bad grammer goes, the award for most mangled sentence has to go
to (drum roll, please):
"In the desert, you can remember your name,
For there ain't no one for to give you no pain."
from America's "Horse With No Name," also featuring the brilliant
observation, "The heat was hot."
Kay
frankz
Duh. This is a STUPID thing to believe. This is nothing more than a fact.
Christ, it's like saying:
"I believe that children are little humans."
"I believe that the future will occur at a later time."
"I believe that breathing water is not a bright thing for mammals to do."
"I believe that shving a sharp stick into your eye can cause at least a
temporary distubance in visual acuity."
I hate that song.
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/zippcity
Doctor Demento
>As far as bad grammer goes, the award for most mangled sentence has to go
>to (drum roll, please):
>
>"In the desert, you can remember your name,
>For there ain't no one for to give you no pain."
I believe that's "you _can't_ remember your name". Still ungrammatical,
but at least the first line makes sense.
>
>from America's "Horse With No Name," also featuring the brilliant
>observation, "The heat was hot."
>
>Kay
--
Kevin Barth Atog Watch: 1085 and growing
ba...@wam.umd.edu Visit Demento's Atog page:
http://www.wam.umd.edu/~barth/mtg/atog.html
Tim P. Ryan
What do you mean "Honey" can't be parodied. Just you wait until
you hear Tom Smith's parody "Honey Glazed Ham". If he sees this
maybe he will post his own original parody lyrics.
--
How do you make a signature file?
Chris O'Connor
from The Turtles' "ELEANOR"
took the prize.
ECWhitley
Billy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool for your life,
Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me a wife.
(And the whole song is just as bad.)--Eva Whitley
Eva Whitley (ECWh...@AOL.COM)
Noreen Mastascusa
: I always thought "I really think you're groovy, let's go out to a movie"
: from The Turtles' "ELEANOR"
: took the prize.
The Turtles are also the ones who sang, "So happy together, And how is
the weather?"
--
-Noreen Mastascusa, aka namast...@ucdavis.edu
"I used to be disgusted,
And now I'm just amused."
-Elvis C.
Hillary Brown
(Noreen Mastascusa) wrote:
I remember hearing somewhere that the Turtles wrote Eleanor as
semi-intentional self-parody because everyone wanted them to write another
hit just like "Happy Together."
--
"All right, I will learn to read, but when I have learned, I never, never shall." -- David Garnett at age 4, to his mother
ChrisMezzo
nbt...@nwu.edu (Hillary Brown) writes:
>I remember hearing somewhere that the Turtles wrote Eleanor as
>semi-intentional self-parody because everyone wanted them to write
another
>hit just like "Happy Together."
It's also worthwhile to note the intent of the track...the legendary LP
this is from, "The Turtles Present the Battle of the Bands" consists of
the Turtles impersonating many different kinds of groups (fictional) in an
imaginary Battle. Can't recall the "group" they were supposed to be for
"Elenore" (correct spelling), but as an example, they became "The
Crossfires" (their pre-Turtles name) for the B-side of the single, "Surfer
Dan", great send up of the surf sound, since they were a surf band
previously anyway, they pulled it off great.
"Elenore" also has early Moog synth on it in the 2nd verse.
This is kinda demented in its own right isn't it? The LP cover certainly
is, with them in costume as the different "groups".
C
Hillary Brown
I like the melody of Cat Stevens' "Moon Shadow," but the lyric "and if I
ever lose my mouth, and all my teeth, north and south" always makes me
cringe.
I have a similar reaction to the lyric from the musical Evita: "A new
Argentina, the chains of the masses untied."
Joseph C Fineman
train is represented as having a lifeline and a first mate.
ZYen Ian Harris
>It's also worthwhile to note the intent of the track...the legendary LP
>this is from, "The Turtles Present the Battle of the Bands" consists of
>the Turtles impersonating many different kinds of groups (fictional) in an
>imaginary Battle. Can't recall the "group" they were supposed to be for
>"Elenore"
>This is kinda demented in its own right isn't it? The LP cover certainly
>is, with them in costume as the different "groups".
Linking two of the more interesting treads in one posting - The
Turtles surely do qualify as demented. If not all the Turtles,
then surely Messrs Volman and Kaylan must qualify with their
Zappa/Mothers of Invention connection and the weird band name "The
Phlorescent Leech & Eddie" (later "Flo & Eddie")
I wonder what these characters are up to now? Do they perchance
lurk in this newsgroup?
Shalom Septimus
ChrisMezzo <chris...@aol.com> wrote:
>
>It's also worthwhile to note the intent of the track...the legendary LP
>this is from, "The Turtles Present the Battle of the Bands" consists of
>the Turtles impersonating many different kinds of groups (fictional) in an
>imaginary Battle. Can't recall the "group" they were supposed to be for
>Crossfires" (their pre-Turtles name) for the B-side of the single, "Surfer
>Dan", great send up of the surf sound, since they were a surf band
>previously anyway, they pulled it off great.
>
>"Elenore" also has early Moog synth on it in the 2nd verse.
>
>is, with them in costume as the different "groups".
The photos are in the gatefold of the album. Catalog was White Whale WWS-7118.
Herewith the titles of the songs on this album, also the descriptions of the
"bands" that "played" them...
1. The Opening/The Battle Of The Bands. "Performed" by "The U.S. Teens
featuring Raoul". The guys are dressed up in letterman jackets, with the
lead singer (presumably 'Raoul') carrying a bullwhip. Written by Chip
Douglas and Nilsson (!).
2. The Last Thing I Remember. "The Atomic Enchilada". Wearing wizardy robes;
Mark has a sitar. Al has headdress looking like 2-foot high turban.
3. Elenore. "Howie, Mark, Johny, Jim and Al." Barefoot, each one wearing a
Tshirt with his name printed on it (except Al, whose T-shirt sez "And Al".)
4. Too Much Heartsick Feeling. "Quad City Ramblers." Guys carrying guitars,
one behind a primitive keyboard organ. Leader in white with guitar embossed
"Jimmy", rest in black, all with cowboy hats.
5. Oh, Daddy! "The L.A. Bust '66". Prisoners' stripes, one with ball
and chain. Guitar and concertina. Cigarette.
6. Buzz Saw. "The Fabulous Dawgs." Look like typical surf band pose; gold
tuxedo jackets, posing with 2 guitars, alto sax, drumsticks, big phony grins.
(This one is the most hilarious instrumental I've ever heard; the raspy
bass does indeed sound like a carpenter's tool... someone intones "Buzz
Saw...", and the bass goes nyowwmmmmm)
[side two]
7. Surfer Dan. "The Cross Fires." (two words; their original incarnation
spelled it as one word.) Topless, wearing loud bathing suits, posing with
guitar, surfboard, and a sixth guy (dunno who) in wet-suit, huge flippers,
and holding a trident.
8.I'm Chief Kamanawanalea (We're The Royal Macadamia Nuts). "Chief Kamana-
wanalea And His Royal Macadamia Nuts". Topless again, wearing Hawaiian-type
skirts and headdresses, four standing, Al seated with his "royal scepter"
actually a small cymbal on a stick. [If you don't get the joke in the Chief's
name, try saying it out loud...]
9. You Showed Me. "Nature's Children". Naked, with big phony fig leaves
covering vital areas. This was the other hit from the album.
10. Food. "The Bigg Brothers." Dressed up in '20's style suits, 4 wearing
tophats or derbies, Mark in front as a real short, fat guy (padded suit,
kneeling on a pair of oversized shoes, looks like.) wearing plaid jacket
and Scottish-type hat.
11. Chicken Little Was Right. "Fats Mallard and the Bluegrass Fireball".
Wearing overalls, posing with banjo, 2 shotguns, moonshine jug, one drinking
from beer glass (face not visible). Six of them again. Johny picking nose.
Typical hillbillies.
12. The Closing: Earth Anthem. "All." Photo of the Earth from space. (Actually
it looks like a photo of a bas-relief globe, but we won't tell nobody.)
ChrisMezzo
(Shalom Septimus) writes:
>Herewith the titles of the songs on this album, also the descriptions of
the
>"bands" that "played" them...
Groovy. My recollections were vague from seeing it in a record store years
ago but didn't have the $ at the time, NOW I gotta get this!
In a bold economical move, they re-tweeked the rhythm track of one of
their later singles, "Sound Asleep", into the backing for their
wonderfully bad "Umbassa and the Dragon" (titled "Umbassa the Dragon" on
the label - ?!?!), check the Worlds Worst Records comp for this gem!
C
Thomas Glinskas
requests...How is that done? Do we merely post or is there some other
way? Please gimme the FAQs...
-Tom
DLBMFCC
oft mentioned,never played...PLEASE PLAY!
Dr.Dave
Hermosa Beach,Calif
bju...@nextek.com
heard Dr. D play in ages is, (well actually is not a song) it's The
Icebox Man by George Karlin. Haven't heard that thing in years.