Shaving Cream Challange

[WildCard]

Dementos and Dementites, I issue you a challange!

Over the last 15 or years, the good Doctor has sung at least ten different
versions of the song Shaving Cream. Thus, I issue this challange: who can
come up with the most number of different verses he's used over the years?

I will be awarding a solid gold NoPrize to the winner of my challange.
Extra credit will be awarded if you can come up the verses from Benny Bell's
original version of this song (from around 1931 or earlier if memory serves
me right :)

Please post your responces. This group has been idle for a while and I for
one would like to see some activity for a change. Warning: any emailed
responces to this challange will be posted, so save me the trouble of
forwarding to the group and post away!

To get my challange started, I will post the only two verses that are common
to all versions of the song, namely the first verse and the last.

A demented song I will sing you,
A classic of poetry and wit.
Last night while i was in my bathroom,
I stepped in a pile of

(Chorus)
Shaving cream,
Be nice and clean,
Shave everyday
and you'll always look keen.

And now, folkes, my song, it is ended,
I do hope that you will admit,
That if any of you feel offended
You can stick your head in a bucket of

Shaving cream,
Be nice and clean,
Shave everyday
and you'll always look keen.

Good luck on this challange! All verses of the song are allowable, even
ones Doctor Demento used only once!

_ __ _ __ How can we dance
' ) / // / / ) / when our earth is turning?
/ / / o // __/ / __. __ __/ How can we sleep
(_(_/ <_</_(_/ (__/ (_/|_/ (_(_/_ while our beds are burning?
(wga...@hawk.ulowell.edu) -Midnight Oil

[Jeff Rosenfeld]

Lacking my tapes I can only recall a verse or two and these are from
[faulty] memory:

i asked to come out and play baseball
i'd just bought a new catchers' mitt;
i asked you to throw me a fastball
but you threw me a big lump of

our baby fell out of the window
we thought that her head would be split
but good luck was with her that morning
she fell into a huge pile of

I also recall something about being `physically fit'....

- Jeff.

[Ben Scott]

I've only heard the good Dr. sing it once (or was it twice) and I NEVER
heard either of the two verses you say were in every version... but, here's
the one that sticks most in my slippery mind:

Our baby fell out of our window...
You'd think that her head would be split;
but good luck was with her that morning!
She landed in six feet of... Shaving Cream! Be nice and clean! [...]

. <<<<Infinite K>>>>

--
|Ben Scott, professional goof-off and consultant at The Raster Image, Denver|
|Available at FIDO address 1:104/421.2 & the Arvada 68K BBS at (303)424-9831|
|THIS ADDRESS WILL BE INVALID AFTER 5-17! Use bsc...@nyx.cs.du.edu instead.|
|*Real* programmers confuse Christmas and Halloween because DEC 25 = OCT 31!|

[Chris Stassen]

In article <8...@swan.ulowell.edu> wga...@gull.ulowell.edu (WildCard) writes:
>Extra credit will be awarded if you can come up the verses from Benny Bell's
>original version of this song (from around 1931 or earlier if memory serves
>me right :)

I don't remember enough of the Doctor's verses to win the actual challenge,
but when the original was revived in the mid-70's I bought the record:

1. I have a sad story to tell you
It may hurt your feelings a bit.
Last night when I walked into my bathroom
I stepped in a big pile of ...

2. I think I'll break up with my girlfriend
Her antics are queer I admit.
Each time I say, "darling, I love you"
She tells me that I'm full of ...

3. Our baby fell out of the window
You'd think that her head would be split.
But good luck was with her that morning
She fell in a barrel of ...

4. An old lady died in a bathtub
She died of a terrible fit.
In order to fulfill her wishes
She was buried in six feet of ...

5. When I was in France with the army
One day I looked into my kit.
I thought I would find me a sandwich,
But the darn thing was loaded with ...

6. And now, folks, my story is ended
I think it is time I should quit.
If any of you feel offended
Stick your head in a barrel of ...
--
Chris Stassen sta...@netcom.UUCP

[Renee Slocumb]

Here are two more verses that I can remember:

Our baby fell out of the window

you think that her head would be split,
but good luck was with us that morning
she fell in a barrel of

Shaving cream
be nice and clean
shave everyday and

you'll always look keen.

While I was in France with the army
one day I looked into my kit,

I thought I would find me a sandwich

but the darn thing was loaded with

Shaving cream
be nice and clean
shave everyday and

[Bill Kinnersley]

Here's some verses sung by Dr. D that haven't been mentioned yet:

"Shaving Cream"
Benny Bell

Here we are in this fine health food restaurant.
I hate to be picking a nit.
But waiter, I ordered your yogurt surprise,
And you brought me a plate full of

(chorus) Shaving cream.
Be nice and clean.
Shave every day and you'll always look keen.

Last night we all had a big snowstorm,
And it's time to shovel, isn't it?
Now the only good thing I can say about shoveling snow,
Is, it's better than shoveling
(chorus)

They built a big wall in East Berlin.
The biggest one that would fit.
But I found out what that Berlin wall was made of.
Well the whole thing was nothing but
(chorus)

I put all my money in savings,
So I'd never have to worry, not a bit.
But you see, it was Lincoln Savings,
Now my money is all shot to
(chorus)

--
--Bill Kinnersley
Physics Department Montana State University Bozeman, MT 59717
INTERNET: up...@terra.oscs.montana.edu BITNET: UPHWK@MTSUNIX1
226 Transfer complete.

[tanja rosteck]

Re: Shaving Cream challenge...

I remember an old Canadian one as well...cant remember it exactly, but it
went something like:

I went swimming in beautiful Lake Ontario
I thought I would cool off a bit
But when I stepped out of the water
Yech - my body was covered in...

I hafta dig out the old tapes and find it.

*TsR

--- QuickBBS v2.61 [EVALUATION]
* Origin: SIZone / Why kill time, when you can kill yourself? (1:250/474.0)

[nicest of the damned]

Of tangiential relevance to this discussion, there is an interesting
version of "Shaving Cream" on the album "Pop 'n' Mento" by the Jolly
Boys. The Jolly Boys are a band from Jamaica who've been playing in
a style called "Mento" for some forty years or something. Mento is
supposed to be an ancestor of calypso; the band consists of banjo,
guitar, bongos and "rhumba box". In addition to being really cool
musically, they have lots of double entendres that would appeal to
the dementia crowd, I'm sure: stuff like "Big Bamboo" and "Ben Wood
Dick" (yep, you guessed it).

The album came out in 1989 on First Warning records, by the way.

-- Stewart
--
"You're lucky I don't use .signature quotes."
-- Matt Brocchini
/* uunet!sco!stewarte -or- stew...@sco.COM -or- Stewart Evans */

[Eric J. Bowersox;6681 Berkshire Terrace #5]

Here's a version from my tape of the Funny 25 of 1985:

I have a sad story to tell you,
It may hurt your feelings a bit,
Last night when I went into my bathroom,
I stepped in a big pile of...

<Chorus>

Shaving cream,
Be nice and clean,

Shave every day and you'll always look keen.

Last Saturday I went out jogging,
I like to keep physically fit,
But when I looked down at my Reeboks,
Well, the soles were all covered with...

<Chorus>
{Dr. D: "Where Rover goes, nothing grows!"}

Let's have a cheer for our Raiders!
They're truly a team with true grit,
But when they fumbled that kickoff in the second half this
afternoon,
Ten million fans, in unison, said, "Oh,...

<Chorus>
{Dr. D: "And one for the Rams!"}

Now the Rams, they are going to Chicago,
But the Bears are the oddsmakers' favorite,
Now, Chicago is beautiful in October,
But in January it's colder than ...

<Chorus>

Here we are in this Mexican restaurant,
I hate to be picking a nit,
But waiter, I ordered "El Burrito Supremo,"
And you brought me a plate full of ...

<Chorus>

I am fed up with all politicians!
On Republicans and Democrats I spit!
They promise you peace and prosperity and a good job,
And what do they give you? ...

<Chorus>

Our Christmas tree, it was so gorgeous,
So brightly and brilliantly lit,
And underneath were all of my presents!
Yeah, boxes and boxes of ...

<Chorus> {Dr. D: "Just kidding, folks!"}

And now, folks, my song it is ended,
I think it is time I should quit,
If any of you feel offended,
Stick your head in a bucket of ...

<Chorus>

BTW: How about making up our own verses to the song? My roommate
came up with a good one:

I was laughing so hard at this music,
I thought that my sides they would split,
I stopped laughing just now, however
'Cause my pants just filled up with ...

<Chorus>

And here's my humble contribution (for all you PC hackers out there):

My program was nearly completed,
In 640K it did fit,
But then I wrote "just one more feature,"
And my program was blown all to ...

<Chorus>

Let's hear some more of those original verses out there!
--
| * Eric J. Bowersox (ERBO) * As always, opinions are solely mine. |
| ARPA:er...@cornu.ucsb.edu BANG:...!{ucbvax,ucsd}!hub!cornu!erbo |
| "My fish are stupid!" --my roommate, from his .plan |

[Ben Scott]

In article <53...@hub.ucsb.edu> er...@cornu.ucsb.edu writes:
>Let's hear some more of those original verses out there!

Here's a try at an extemporaneous verse... hmmm... think think think... what
rhymes with shhhaving cream? Ah! OK, now work backwards...

I bought a computer by mail...
it arrived at my door in a kit.
But although I followed instructions,
I ended up with a box full of shhhhaving cream...

All I can say is, thank God for the delete key.

[Ron Prine]

Shaving cream

I was reading the BITNET one day...
Full of rumors, flames and quips
Instead of being educated
All I got was a que full of .....

Shaving Cream!!!
(I wonder how long this list is going to be?)

Ron Prine

[Pete Zakel]

I just wrote the following verses, which are mine:

I went out last night to the opera,
I thought I'd relax for a bit.
But when I sat down in my box seat
I found it was covered with...

I thought I would make me some tie-dyes
And bought many boxes of Rit.
But after I dyed all my T-shirts
They all were the color of...

My in-laws came over to visit,
But left in a terrible snit
Because I suggested for dinner
That they should have plates full of...

-Pete Zakel
(p...@cadence.com or ..!{hpda,versatc,apollo,ucbcad,uunet}!cadence!phz)