Lyrics for Symphonies
Roger Peniston-Bird
that professional orchestral musicians have made up lyrics for many of
the 'big tunes' in the orchestral repertoire. For instance, the finale
of Haydn's Symphony No. 88 simply calls out for words to be put to
it....
If this has indeed been done for Haydn or anyone else, would some kind
professionals share this trade secret with us before censorship hits the
net?
I am not referring to such settings as the 19th century song setting of
the 2nd movement of Beethoven 5, of Flanders/Swann's Mozart horn
concerto setting, but the not publicly known lyrics!
Noam Elkies
(Marie Bennett) writes:
>Well, there's always the "I am not an English Horn..." bassoon passage in Rite
>of Spring... I forget the words made up for the rest of the phrase.
"...I'm not an English horn, this is much too HIGH for me,
I'm not an English horn!" (with "HIGH" on the top D of course).
I didn't include this one because Sacre is not a "Symphony".
There are plenty of other lyrics around:
Beethoven violin concerto, 1st movement:
Don't play chess with your daughter,
She knows more than you taught her.
Rossini, Gazza Ladra overture:
I hate zucchini, and fettuccini(sp?), veal scallopini, Rossini,
and Pachelbel.
Mozart piano quartet in G minor:
Answer the telephone! (ring,ring,ring,ring...)
Beethoven fifth symphony:
Take out the trash, don't let it splash
[etc. -- it goes on until the half-cadence fermata. There's
apparently a Russian version that starts "open the door -- the KGB!"
with the response "we are not here, we are not here..."]
Ravel, Bolero:
If...you would like to know the easiest way...to drive all your
neighbors cra...zy all you have to do is play...Ravel's Bolero
20 times a day, and turn up the volume.
I think I'll stop now and let some else report the Don Juan lyrics...
--Noam D. Elkies (elk...@math.harvard.edu)
Dept. of Mathematics, Harvard University
Marie Bennett
Well, there's always the "I am not an English Horn..." bassoon passage in Rite
of Spring... I forget the words made up for the rest of the phrase.
Marie
Rebecca Schmitz
the lyrical melody in the first movement: this is the symphony that shubert
wrote and did not finish.
rebecca
Noam Elkies
In article <3jilkq$m...@uwm.edu> rsch...@alpha2.csd.uwm.edu
Much more amusing to stop before the last syllable:
"...that Schubert wrote but never fi-".
Other standard symphonic lyrics:
Mozart 40: It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a Mozart!
Beethoven 3: On my word, it's Beethoven's Third -- Oh No!
Mendelssohn "Italian": Spaghetti is ready to EAT, everyone --
Every cognoscente knows al dente means that it's done!
Brahms 4: The mu...sic played at ju...nior proms
Is rare...ly by Johann...es Brahms
I'll spare you the lyrics to his clarinet sonata...
David Mark Das
Chichester Psalms -- the "lamah ragashu" (sp?) part...
"I can tie my shoe! I can tie my shoe, can you?" etc.
Slightly off topic, I know.
David
/> David Das
/< Postal address: UNT Box #13362, Denton, TX 76203 (USA)
/< Internet address: dd...@jove.acs.unt.edu
|\_______{o}----------------------------------------------------------------_
[\\\\\\\\\\\{*}:::<====================================================- >
|/~~~~~~~{o}----------------------------------------------------------------~
\< "Well I'm glad! Because now I know that I can win. This here
\< race isn't given to the swift or the strong, but the one who
\> endures to the end." Take 6 (paraphased from Ecclesiastes)
James Langdell
Here's lyrics for the opening of Mozart's 40th symphony, which
I think was in an article by Erik Salzman in Stereo Review decades ago:
Take a bath, take a bath in a bathtub.
Take a bath, take a bath in a bathtub.
Take a bath, take a bath in a bathtub.
Take a bath, take a bath in a bathtub.
And be sure to take your shoes off.
And be sure to take your shoes off.
Don't kick out the plug,
or all the water will all run out.
Run out! Run out, run out, run out!
Take a bath in a bathtub (etc.)
Please don't kill me for telling you this.
--James Langdell jam...@eng.sun.com
Sun Microsystems Menlo Park, Calif.
S. Schellenberg
"Oh, my God, I've lost my fishing rod. Was it here? Was it there? Oh, I
can't find that little ****** anywhere!"
Or the last movement of Mozart's G minor (40th):
"Oh, Mozart's in the closet, let him out,let him out,let him out."
Or the Debussy Golliwog's Cakewalk:
"'Funny, you don't look Jewish,' said God to Moses one Saturday."
Orchestral musicians in particular have many of these, some printable, some not.
--
Steve
Stephen J. Schellenberg, Ph.D.
(Re)tired oboist
Father of twins
Dog fancier
Number cruncher
Donna Mettler
Its a book of lyrics for major themes, symphonic and otherwise, most
of which are quite humorous. Penguin Books publishes it.
(Also, for those who are having to take drop the needle tests, adding
lyrics to a theme makes it much more memorable)
--
Donna DeVore Mettler
dmet...@math.ttu.edu
"The Math department's musical specialist."
Q. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a saxophone?
A. You can tune a lawnmower:-)
Rebecca Schmitz
: Or the last movement of Mozart's G minor (40th):
: "Oh, Mozart's in the closet, let him out,let him out,let him out."
or the first: "I'm wanting to ask you a question, and I'm wanting to hear
an answer"
Hilary Bates
> Beethoven 3: On my word, it's Beethoven's Third -- Oh No!
> Mendelssohn "Italian": Spaghetti is ready to EAT, everyone --
> Every cognoscente knows al dente means that it's done!
> Brahms 4: The mu...sic played at ju...nior proms
> Is rare...ly by Johann...es Brahms
> I'll spare you the lyrics to his clarinet sonata...
>
> --Noam D. Elkies (elk...@math.harvard.edu)
That's e-nough of that!
9th symphony (end of Scherzo):
That's enough of all this silly noise.
and the Violin Concerto (3rd movement):
Thank God it's over, thank God it's over, thank God, thank God,
it's over at last....
Hilary Bates
hba...@amgen.com
Julie Dowell
>...or the substitute words for the second movement of Bernstein's
>Chichester Psalms -- the "lamah ragashu" (sp?) part...
> "I can tie my shoe! I can tie my shoe, can you?" etc.
>
sopranos said that when we sang the "lamah ragashu" passage, it sounded to her as
though we were saying
"I'm a rubber shoe - I'm a rubber rubber shoe, I'm a rubber shoe ..."
Julie
--
--------------------------------------------------------------
Julie Dowell j...@space.physics.uiowa.edu
Programmer/Analyst
University of Iowa
Dennis Clason
: I think I'll stop now and let some else report the Don Juan lyrics...
Are you referring to these, Noam?
"Don Jua.....n gets laid more than I do...
But that's okay........
We know he's gay......."
Disclaimer: I didn't make 'em up, I was merely contaminated by them in
a symphony rehearsal. I can't hear that passage anymore without those ****
lyrics!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dennis L. Clason EMAIL: dcl...@nmsu.edu
Department of Experimental Statistics ESTA...@NMSUVM1.BITNET
New Mexico State University
Chancellor Ross Wyman
: Mozart piano quartet in G minor:
: Answer the telephone! (ring,ring,ring,ring...)
After playing this piece for a few concerts, I remember a story I was
told by the cellist of an ensemble before they played this piece. Here
it is (paraphrased):
When Mozart was composing this piece, he had a horrible case of
writer's block. He slaved for hours and hours but threw away tune after
tune because none of them were worthy of the name Mozart. Also, his next
door neighbor's telephone kept ringing which didn't help matters any
more. Mozart knew full well that his neighbor was home and that he just
didn't want to be bothered with answering the telephone at that time.
Finally, in a fit of rage, Mozart yelled out his window, "Answer the
telephone!" and voila! He had found a tune to base his latest piano
quartet on.
Even though the audience knew full well that this story wasn't true
(phones in Mozart's day?) there smirks and chuckles each time the main
motif of the first movement was played. Even as I play it now, I still
chuckle at the motif when I play it or another instrument does. I even
told the above story to the group that I was performing with and sure
enough, we all would have our own little laughs while playing this
piece. Thank God the main theme isn't in the other movements!
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"After silence, that which comes closest to expressing the inexpressible
is MUSIC."
Chancellor Ross Wyman
cha...@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bryan Hughes
>
> : Mozart piano quartet in G minor:
> : Answer the telephone! (ring,ring,ring,ring...)
>
This isn't a lyric exactly, but reading about Mozart reminds me of a funny
interpretation of one of Mozart's lyrics. (Well, not written by Mozart,
but anyway...) When we performed the Requiem, one of my colleagues
informed me of a little-known fact: one movement of the work is actually a
tribute to Mozart's dog!
Hint: the dog's name wasn't 'Spot'!
"Rex!"
Dup-
dup-
Bryan
Bryan_...@brown.edu ObDisclaimer
GM/S d g+(?)>- p2 !au a- v+(-) C++>++++ U--- !3 E?
N++ K W-- M++ V-- po-@ Y++ t->-- !5 j++ R G?
tv- b++ !D B- e*>+++ u++ f+ r++>+++ n-(----) y?
Robert P. Salzman (Monument Mt. RHS)
With apologies to everyone reading this:
1. I am singing, just like a "boid": I am singing Beethoven's "Toid"
2. This is the Fifth, Beethoven's Fifth. This is the Fifth and not the
Fourth and not the Third; etc.
3. Mendelsohn's Symphony No. 4, first movement: "Bananas, bananas, three for
a dime; you can get them at your grocery store any time".
4. Tsachaikowsky's Symphony No. 4, last movement: "Everybody loves Mrs.
Murphy".
Had enough yet?
Bob
--
Philip Delaquess
> 4. Tsachaikowsky's Symphony No. 4, last movement: "Everybody loves Mrs.
> Murphy".
"Koussevitsky's wife had a baby."
--
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Philip Delaquess | / \__/ \
Software Development | / \ o o
Genetics Computer Group | +-----(-=### | #################
dela...@gcg.com | \ __ / o o
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BCWALL
Mendelssohn Violin Concerto:
Oh Moisha, Oh Moisha
Your chicken soup is cold
Come eat it right away
Oy vay, oy vay, oy vay....
Repeat until nose bleeds
Don Juan:
Don J....uan
Gets laid more than I do
Cause he's a stud
And I'm a dud
And he has a big dick
That is twelve inches long.....
Not appropriate for middle school orchestra members...
Dvorak New World: Last Movement
I want to masturbate
Please leave me alone
Strauss: Beginning of Don Juan
(fast)
Oh God, I gotta take a shit
Open the door
Its too late
SHIT!
Beginning of Ein Heldenleben
I.....can't play this piece
cause my part's too fuckin' hard
Ah yes from the mouth of babes....well...gutters of Detroit.....enjoy!!!
Lisa Saunders Boffa
About 10 years ago I came across a little book by Josefa Heifetz called
"Comic Mnemonics for MusicalThemes." It has about 40 little ditties that
can be sung to the famous themes of well-known classical pieces.
They are either humorous or sort of sacreligious, depending on how
seious you take your symphonies. A couple of my favorites are:
(Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring): There are many more Bachs/than most
people imagine/the best known/is Johann Sebastian
(First movement, Brahms 4th): The music of/Johannes Brahms/is seldom
heard/at senior proms...
Her words to the Italian symphony were Spaghetti/is ready/come eat,
everyone/any cognoscente/knows al dente/means that it's done...
I could go on and on...After reading this book I even found myself trying
to make up more...(second movement of Tchiakovsky serenade for strings in
c):If you think you might like Tchiakovsky/if you think that you can play
these notes/if you think you can sound Russianofsky/then just listen to
this on the radio/and then try to play it at home
My husband, a bassist, thinksd these things are stupid but I think they
are sort of funny. Does anyone else have any favorite ones worth a
post? If there are folks who are really into this sort of thing, e-mail
me and I can get some more out of the book for you.
Lisa Boffa
Polymer Science Department
University of Massachusetts
bho...@polysci.umass.edu
Thomas Kraines
Shostakovich V, last movement;
I'm not home, but if you could leave a message now, I'll get right back
to you as soon as I can.
Tom
Carbon Turtle
machine message to the tune of the Turandot Scherzo from
Hindemith's "Symphonic Metamorphoses on theme by Weber". It went
as follows:
Hi! This is Mike's room, 6074.
If you'd like to leave a message you can write it on my door- or-
Since you just called me, here's what you can do-
You can leave your stupid message when my stupid song is through.
(Just) Tell the friggin' phone- at the tone- what you want for me
to hear.
I'll call you back tomorrow, or maybe like today, but at least
before next year.
Hope you enjoyed that. I sure did. I had a whole bunch more,
some of which aren't especially polite. If any more come to
mind, I'll stick 'em up here.
-michael hosford
Valse
really boring.