TOP 10 Crappy ads in HM this month
caleb
Just looking through my new copy of HM (uh, hard music) magazine, and
although I love reading it, it has to have some of the dumbest ads ever
for some of the biggest loser xian music-related products. Here's some
examples:
1)DECYPL Sportswear-clothes and a hat w/"Decypl" on all of them; why
does incorrect spelling supposedly make for cool clothes? I really
don't get it.
2)A full page ad for a new XALT album--why are they wasting their
money? Don't they know they'll never sell enough albums to make a
comeback (can a band without a following have a comeback?)?
3)ad for Jeff Scheetz' new album "Pawn Shop"--has the selling line: "You
can find some cool stuff in the pawn shop!" Makes me want to run out
and buy it right now.
4)ad for a no-name underground band--"THE WAIT IS OVER/The highly talked
about and greatly anticipated project from one of music's most
innovative bands is now available . . ." If I have to read that LIE one
more time for another band with maybe 5 fans... who falls for this?
Who? Where do these bands learn this ingenious marketing technique of
all-encompassing exaggeration?
5)"IMAGE IS (almost) EVERYTHING-put yours on a color bumpersticker..."
No, please, no, it's too much! I should just put this magazine away, go
eat dinner at Hooters, and then drop by the Five Iron Frenzy concert.
6)"FORGIVEN Jewelry"--boy, aren't you glad to know God saves cheap
leather necklaces with colorful beads on them?--otherwise, what would we
wear in heaven to show we love Jesus?
7)the usual "HM Mart", with my favorite: the water-resistant HM watch!
Only $24 and you can be stylin' (looks especially nice with your DECYPL
t-shirt).
8) HM "Collectible" Prepaid Phonecards-Limited Edition (only 1000
available!) Heh. heh. heh. heh. You get 10 minutes free for ...$10!
Uh, okay, sounds like a good deal to me.
9)ad for Rescue Records--"There are Visionaries, Then There Are Those
Who Follow The Vision." In other words: "we make boring music that
sounds like something someone else already made." Sounds about
right--Dogwood, POD, NIV, 12th Tribe (aaah, stay away!)...
10)ad for another no-name band--"You've Heard Us on the Radio, You've
Seen Our Review in HM, You've Tried to Find Our CD" Hmmm-- no, really?,
and no--oh, whoops, I guess that ad isn't talking to me!
caleb (going to bed now)
Gabe White
caleb (ca...@maui.net) wrote:
: 4)ad for a no-name underground band--"THE WAIT IS OVER/The highly talked
: about and greatly anticipated project from one of music's most
: innovative bands is now available . . ." If I have to read that LIE one
: more time for another band with maybe 5 fans... who falls for this?
: Who? Where do these bands learn this ingenious marketing technique of
: all-encompassing exaggeration?
(SNIP)
: 10)ad for another no-name band--"You've Heard Us on the Radio, You've
: Seen Our Review in HM, You've Tried to Find Our CD" Hmmm-- no, really?,
: and no--oh, whoops, I guess that ad isn't talking to me!
Who were these ads for? Just curious. Maybe I've heard of them.
Gabe
--
"Bleeding hearts may scream compassion... What of those who cannot cry?
A life is worth a life. Justice... Merciful and blind...
Innocent blood is crying from the ground... It's coming down."
-Stavesacre (Zzyzx Scarecrow)
DanTemmesfeld
caleb wrote:
> 9)ad for Rescue Records--"There are Visionaries, Then There Are Those
> Who Follow The Vision." In other words: "we make boring music that
> sounds like something someone else already made." Sounds about
> right--Dogwood, POD, NIV, 12th Tribe (aaah, stay away!)...
Their ad is kinda bland, but they have a limited budget. However, I do
think that POD and 12th Tribe are two quality acts on rescue records.
The others I could stay away from, but esp. POD is a breath of fresh
air in the Christian market...
Dan
---+ +---
Dan Temmesfeld - dan...@erinet.com / s113...@cedarville.edu
"Home of the Galactic Cowboys Page"
http://www.cedarville.edu/student/s1133627/gcowboys.htm
---+ +---
caleb
DanTemmesfeld wrote:
>
> caleb wrote:
> > 9)ad for Rescue Records--"There are Visionaries, Then There Are Those
> > Who Follow The Vision." In other words: "we make boring music that
> > sounds like something someone else already made." Sounds about
> > right--Dogwood, POD, NIV, 12th Tribe (aaah, stay away!)...
>
> Their ad is kinda bland, but they have a limited budget. However, I do
> think that POD and 12th Tribe are two quality acts on rescue records.
> The others I could stay away from, but esp. POD is a breath of fresh
> air in the Christian market...
okay, in the xian market they're fresh (but overall--ugh)
caleb
Taft
caleb wrote:
> 9)ad for Rescue Records--"There are Visionaries, Then There Are Those
> Who Follow The Vision." In other words: "we make boring music that
> sounds like something someone else already made." Sounds about
> right--Dogwood, POD, NIV, 12th Tribe (aaah, stay away!)...
>
Ouch. I guess you must either dislike hard-core music or have never
seen POD live. believe you me...these guys are nothing short of
incredible on stage...their recordings really don't do them justice with
that in mind. Their recent album "Brown"
is still very good though, despite the mix being a little unbalanced
with guitars way up front and the vocals distorted and minimally
audible. Anyways, I think you're pretty much right about the rest of
Rescue records' groups...
peace.
jaechoi
DanTemmesfeld
caleb wrote:
> okay, in the xian market they're fresh (but overall--ugh)
It's kinda like a RATM thing, but I think I little better...IMO.
As for the rest of Rescue Rec stuff...I'll pass.
> caleb
DanTemmesfeld
clive wrote:
>
> > 5)"IMAGE IS (almost) EVERYTHING
> could sprite sue.. since the phrase is just a bit too
> close to the original?
They can't really trademark "image is nothing"...it's a statement probably said
many times before *they* thought of it...
> clive
DanTemmesfeld
clive wrote:
> arent 12th tribe a rap band?.. anyway, fresh in the market or not,
> they're still probably stale by current trends...
12th tribe is a rap band. they are good at what they do. They weren't the
artist that I thought was a breath of fresh air...that was POD- which I still
think *is*...
Sean Volke
Disturbance_ by Deliverance circa 1994. Actually played this
on air the other night, somewhat fond of the track myself,
although I certainly would not argue that it reaches any
musical heights.
ISTR that there was a similar rap/metal crossover around the
same time involving Faith No More and one of the heavier rap
outfits.
bye
snail
--
//
\X/snail sn...@pobox.com.au
I'm a man of my word. In the end, that's all there is. - Avon
http://melvin.silas.unsw.edu.au/~s-snail/
clive
caleb wrote:
> Just looking through my new copy of HM (uh, hard music) magazine, and
> although I love reading it, it has to have some of the dumbest ads ever
> for some of the biggest loser xian music-related products. Here's some
> examples:
these are classic... worth a second chuckle anytime!
> 4)ad for a no-name underground band--"THE WAIT IS OVER/The highly talked
> about and greatly anticipated project from one of music's most
> innovative bands is now available . . ." If I have to read that LIE one
> more time for another band with maybe 5 fans... who falls for this?
> Who? Where do these bands learn this ingenious marketing technique of
> all-encompassing exaggeration?
i dunno.. i've seen some prime examples of this in heaven's metal.
"highly talked about and greatly anticipated" sounds like a lie.
"one of music's most innovative bands" is highly subjective,
and is just crying out for a cynic like me to disbelief it..
> 5)"IMAGE IS (almost) EVERYTHING-put yours on a color bumpersticker..."
> No, please, no, it's too much! I should just put this magazine away, go
> eat dinner at Hooters, and then drop by the Five Iron Frenzy concert.
i dropped the mag after 2 years of a subscription.. i suppose you
cant blame them though, they have to get some revenue from somewhere.
but you'd think they'd be a bit more choosy about their ads...
by the way, could sprite sue.. since the phrase is just a bit too
close to the original?
> 9)ad for Rescue Records--"There are Visionaries, Then There Are Those
> Who Follow The Vision." In other words: "we make boring music that
> sounds like something someone else already made." Sounds about
> right--Dogwood, POD, NIV, 12th Tribe (aaah, stay away!)...
never heard any of those... maybe we're smarter here in the uk..
nobody would fall for that.. well not enough to buy it, and
warrant marketing their stuff here..
> caleb
clive
clive
DanTemmesfeld wrote:
>
> caleb wrote:
> > 9)ad for Rescue Records--"There are Visionaries, Then There Are Those
> > Who Follow The Vision." In other words: "we make boring music that
> > sounds like something someone else already made." Sounds about
> > right--Dogwood, POD, NIV, 12th Tribe (aaah, stay away!)...
>
> think that POD and 12th Tribe are two quality acts on rescue records.
> The others I could stay away from, but esp. POD is a breath of fresh
> air in the Christian market...
arent 12th tribe a rap band?.. anyway, fresh in the market or not,
they're still probably stale by current trends...
> Dan
clive
Walter Semerenko
On Thu, 15 May 1997 08:11:35 +0000 DanTemmesfeld <dan...@erinet.com>
wrote:
>clive wrote:
>> arent 12th tribe a rap band?.. anyway, fresh in the market or not,
>> they're still probably stale by current trends...
>12th tribe is a rap band. they are good at what they do. They weren't the
>artist that I thought was a breath of fresh air...that was POD- which I still
>think *is*...
I am finding out that I like some forms of rap. I like Rage Against
the Machine, and the new stuff that the Beastie Boyz are putting out,
and there is this obscure band on a major label that is knocking my
socks off called the Screaming Headless Torsos. I'll mirror what I
wrote on another NG:
"If you like the Beasties, super funky music, and hard rock, or if you
like Vernon Reid's _Mistaken Identity_, check out the Screaming
Headless Torsos. No, just take a chance and buy the album. This is
the most innovative album I heard that contains rap. The band has a
drummer and percussionist playing simultaneously, and sounds really
tight in combination. The guitarist has the talents of Scott
Henderson (Tribal Tech) and Nuno Bentacourt (Extreme). His style is
more clean-guitar funk, but often gets heavy. The singer is a black
male, and he's got an incredible voice. He raps, rap/sings, sings in
a hip-hop flavor, sings by playing off the guitarist, screams, and
be-bop-boh-du-da-la's. The lyrics are are Zappaesque except more
intelligent, IMHO. There's not one stinker on the album. And this
album came out in '95, and I just found out about a month ago.
These guys are grossly underrated, and I can't find much information
on them on the web. The album is on a major record label, so you will
probably find them in a large record chain."
Ohh, yeah to keep this post on topic, the song "Blue in Green" is a
lyrical satire on the 23rd Psalms. ;) Great song. The liner notes say
that the music is by Miles Davis, but I don't think that Miles' voice
could match the band's vocalist, Dean.
Walter.
clive
Sean Volke wrote:
> Disturbance_ by Deliverance circa 1994. Actually played this
> on air the other night, somewhat fond of the track myself,
> although I certainly would not argue that it reaches any
> musical heights.
i have that track.. i think it's fairly dull as far as
rap/metal crossovers go..
> ISTR that there was a similar rap/metal crossover around the
> same time involving Faith No More and one of the heavier rap
> outfits.
onyx maybe?.. i know they were on the judgement night soundtrack,
which mostly contained all rap/metal crossover tracks... some
of their own material has rap like bits.. (then there's bands
like biohazard...) by 1994, the idea had become a bit
cliched... even tourniquet has "spineless" back in '91.
> bye
> snail
clive
"you can be any sex you like, provided you act male. there's
no men and women in the Watch, just a bunch of lads. you'll
soon learn the language. basically it's how much beer you
supped last night, how strong the curry was you had afterwards
and where you were sick. just think egotesticle".
policing in ankh-morpork. -terry pratchett "feet of clay"
Christopher E. Lang
clive wrote:
> hmm.. i'm fairly sure you can copyright a phrase for marketing
> purposes.. such as coke's "the real thing", nike's "just
> do it", or sprite's "image is nothing..".. the question
> then becomes, has another product used this phrase or
> one suitably close, that it impinges on the original product..
Actually, as I recall, Andre Agassi did coin the phrase "Image is everything" in a
camera commercial... Do you suppose they are ripping off that?
Chris Lang
Fayetteville, AR
cl...@arkansasusa.com
That's NOT my McDonald's
DanTemmesfeld
clive wrote:
>
> hmm.. i'm fairly sure you can copyright a phrase for marketing
> purposes.. such as coke's "the real thing", nike's "just
> do it", or sprite's "image is nothing..".. the question
> then becomes, has another product used this phrase or
> one suitably close, that it impinges on the original product..
Those words put together like that are nothing genuinely original to
any human interaction. Thus, I do not believe that they can be copy-
righted and such. "The real thing" and "image is everything/nothing"
are far too common to be able to claim exclusive rights to.
I do agree, though. The ad was stupid and was trying to capitalize
on a pop "catch phrase," but I don't think that any legal recourse
can be sought...
BTW, do you have the new LS or ZAO. If not, I've got some stuff I
can ship over to you.
DanTemmesfeld
Sean Volke wrote:
> Yep, they shared a track entitled 'A Little Sleep' on _River
> Disturbance_ by Deliverance circa 1994. Actually played this
> on air the other night, somewhat fond of the track myself,
> although I certainly would not argue that it reaches any
> musical heights.
It's a descent track. I happen to like a little bit of 12th Tribe's
non-Deliverance-collaboration stuff too...
> ISTR that there was a similar rap/metal crossover around the
> same time involving Faith No More and one of the heavier rap
> outfits.
FNM rocks. A friend of mine from work is supposed to let me borrow this
Judgement Day (or whatever it's called) which that FNM/Onyx and many other
metal/rap songs are on...I just wish he'd remember to bring it to work
eventually...
clive
DanTemmesfeld wrote:
> > > 5)"IMAGE IS (almost) EVERYTHING
>
> > could sprite sue.. since the phrase is just a bit too
> > close to the original?
>
> They can't really trademark "image is nothing"...it's a
> statement probably said many times before *they* thought of it...
hmm.. i'm fairly sure you can copyright a phrase for marketing
purposes.. such as coke's "the real thing", nike's "just
do it", or sprite's "image is nothing..".. the question
then becomes, has another product used this phrase or
one suitably close, that it impinges on the original product..
> Dan
clive
Sean Volke
clive <cl...@apache.qub.ac.uk> writes:
>Sean Volke wrote:
>> clive <cl...@apache.qub.ac.uk> writes:
>> >arent 12th tribe a rap band?..
>> Disturbance_ by Deliverance circa 1994. Actually played this
>rap/metal crossovers go..
>
>> ISTR that there was a similar rap/metal crossover around the
>> same time involving Faith No More and one of the heavier rap
>> outfits.
>onyx maybe?.. i know they were on the judgement night soundtrack,
Don't remember the band, but it was that soundtrack. Didn't see
the album itself, just the video clip, back in the days when I
used to watch them.
>like biohazard...) by 1994, the idea had become a bit
>cliched... even tourniquet has "spineless" back in '91.
Agreed.
> policing in ankh-morpork. -terry pratchett "feet of clay"
A good read indeed. ISTR that there's a screening of Wyrd Sisters
happening on Channel 4 later in May. Does that include Ireland ?
And it'll be six months before the next discworld is due out,
currently entitled _Jingo_.
caleb
clive wrote:
> all rap/metal crossover tracks.... (then there's bands
> like biohazard...) by 1994, the idea had become a bit
> cliched... even tourniquet has "spineless" back in '91.
The first(?), greatest, and most classic rap/metal song was of course
"Bring the Noise" by Anthrax and RUN D.M.C. (I think it was RUN)! I
still love that song. I kind of think Tourniquet got their idea from
that, since they did it right after 'Bring the Noise.'
caleb
Sean Volke
DanTemmesfeld <dan...@erinet.com> writes:
>Sean Volke wrote:
>> Yep, they shared a track entitled 'A Little Sleep' on _River
>> Disturbance_ by Deliverance circa 1994. Actually played this
>It's a descent track. I happen to like a little bit of 12th Tribe's
>non-Deliverance-collaboration stuff too...
>
Haven't heard any of their other stuff, one of these days...
>> ISTR that there was a similar rap/metal crossover around the
>> same time involving Faith No More and one of the heavier rap
>> outfits.
>FNM rocks. A friend of mine from work is supposed to let me borrow this
Agreed.
>Judgement Day (or whatever it's called) which that FNM/Onyx and many other
>metal/rap songs are on...I just wish he'd remember to bring it to work
>eventually...
>
I'll get hold of the soundtrack one of these days, although I don't
recall the movie, unless it was T2 ?
Christopher E. Lang
caleb wrote:
> The first(?), greatest, and most classic rap/metal song was of course
> "Bring the Noise" by Anthrax and RUN D.M.C. (I think it was RUN)!
Uh uh... Public Enemy.
Although RUN-DMC would have been a good idea. But they had already
collaborated with Aerosmith...but they really aren't metal.
Chris Lang
cl...@arkansasusa.com
Fayetteville, AR
"How's that?" -- Oscar Meyer bologna boy
Hans Jakup Eidisgard
caleb wrote:
>
> clive wrote:
> > all rap/metal crossover tracks.... (then there's bands
> > like biohazard...) by 1994, the idea had become a bit
> > cliched... even tourniquet has "spineless" back in '91.
>
> still love that song. I kind of think Tourniquet got their idea from
> that, since they did it right after 'Bring the Noise.'
>
> caleb
I read at some page on internet that one of the rappers is saved now and
has his own christian label, which some bands got to be on the
soundtrack the Preacher's wife....huh
hansjakup
DanTemmesfeld
clive wrote:
>
> hmm.. i'm fairly sure you can copyright a phrase for marketing
> purposes.. such as coke's "the real thing", nike's "just
> do it", or sprite's "image is nothing..".. the question
> then becomes, has another product used this phrase or
> one suitably close, that it impinges on the original product..
OK. I see your point now. I must have missed earlier before...
I think, though, that is needs to be an exact replication of the phrase.
Otherwise many "spoofs" would get sued like crazy. The ad in HM probably
will go unseen by anybody at the camera company or Sprite...
> clive
DanTemmesfeld
Sean Volke wrote:
> I'll get hold of the soundtrack one of these days, although I don't
> recall the movie, unless it was T2 ?
No, it was Judgement Night or Judgement Day, or something or other...not T2.
Sean Volke
DanTemmesfeld <dan...@erinet.com> writes:
>Sean Volke wrote:
>> I'll get hold of the soundtrack one of these days, although I don't
>> recall the movie, unless it was T2 ?
>No, it was Judgement Night or Judgement Day, or something or other...not T2.
>
Sean Volke
clive <cl...@apache.qub.ac.uk> writes:
>snail wrote:
>> A good read indeed. ISTR that there's a screening of Wyrd Sisters
Cool :)
>(sun 18th may). also, the video for the first three parts
>of soul music has been released on sell-through. i recorded
Yep, all these things I'll get eventually ie when someone gets
around to importing them to Oz.
>the first part of wyrd sisters (i believe, there's supposed
I'm hoping my sister taped it, although I didn't remember to email
her until after she'd left work on Friday :( However, I have a
feeling one of her flatmates would have caught it.
>to be six parts). personally, wyrd sisters is one of my
I barely remember it, I'm not one of these people who frequently
rereads them. So when I read it, it was the latest in the series
and was a good read at the time. It was also when he was still
mucking about with the discworld/parody thing eg _The Colour of
Magic_ was a sendup of fantasy novels with _Wyrd Sisters_ being
a sendup of Shakespeare's _Macbeth_ IIRC (and _Strata_ was a
sendup of Niven's _Ringworld_ IIRC). Whereas now he's turned the
discworld away from straight parody (although many of his books
are still parodies) and uses them as a vehicle from which to
explore various truths eg _Small Gods_ and _Men At Arms_.
Cripes, I'm half tempted to crosspost this to alt.books.pratchett :)
>have read. (i'll wait for hogfather to be released on paperback)
Wasn't bad, and I found it an improvement over Maskerade, which I
wasn't massively keen on.
>> And it'll be six months before the next discworld is due out,
>> currently entitled _Jingo_.
>so that'll be about 12-18 months for the paperback version.. :)
>
:-) Actually they've usually been pretty good and take around 12
months or thereabouts, not that I really pay attention to the pbs.
snail
caleb
Gabe White wrote:
>
> caleb (ca...@maui.net) wrote:
>
> : 4)ad for a no-name underground band--"THE WAIT IS OVER/The highly talked
> : about and greatly anticipated project from one of music's most
> : innovative bands is now available . . ." If I have to read that LIE one
> : more time for another band with maybe 5 fans... who falls for this?
> : Who? Where do these bands learn this ingenious marketing technique of
> : all-encompassing exaggeration?
> : 10)ad for another no-name band--"You've Heard Us on the Radio, You've
> : Seen Our Review in HM, You've Tried to Find Our CD" Hmmm-- no, really?,
> : and no--oh, whoops, I guess that ad isn't talking to me!
>
> Who were these ads for? Just curious. Maybe I've heard of them.
I doubt it. The first is Sanctified Sister, and the second is Pursuit.
Even if you have heard of them, there's no way they're good enough to
warrant the false advertising.
caleb
caleb
Taft wrote:
>
> caleb wrote:
>
> > 9)ad for Rescue Records--"There are Visionaries, Then There Are Those
> > Who Follow The Vision." In other words: "we make boring music that
> > sounds like something someone else already made." Sounds about
> > right--Dogwood, POD, NIV, 12th Tribe (aaah, stay away!)...
> >
>
> seen POD live. believe you me...these guys are nothing short of
> incredible on stage...their recordings really don't do them justice with
> that in mind.
That's for sure--the two or three songs I've heard had potential but it
seemed like they just couldn't pull it off yet (a good sound). And even
if they're good, they aren't doing anything new. Maybe I'll check 'em
out live someday if I can (not likely, since I'm in Hawaii).
caleb
caleb
clive wrote:
>
> caleb wrote:
> > 4)ad for a no-name underground band--"THE WAIT IS OVER/The highly talked
> > about and greatly anticipated project from one of music's most
> > innovative bands is now available . . ." If I have to read that LIE one
> > more time for another band with maybe 5 fans... who falls for this?
> > Who? Where do these bands learn this ingenious marketing technique of
> > all-encompassing exaggeration?
>
> i dunno.. i've seen some prime examples of this in heaven's metal.
> "highly talked about and greatly anticipated" sounds like a lie.
> "one of music's most innovative bands" is highly subjective,
> and is just crying out for a cynic like me to disbelief it..
Exactly. But I guess if they were truthful and said "we're not really
that good, we probably even suck," then no one would send them money.
And then they couldn't be in a band. I think bands should just practice
and play live until they're good enough to warrant a CD (no tapes--let's
leave the past behind).
> i dropped the mag after 2 years of a subscription.. i suppose you
> cant blame them though, they have to get some revenue from somewhere.
> but you'd think they'd be a bit more choosy about their ads...
> by the way, could sprite sue.. since the phrase is just a bit too
> close to the original?
Maybe they just don't get that many ads, and they have to take what they
get? It's really weird now to flip through the mag, because there are
some really nice ads (mostly from Tooth & Nail records) and next to them
are the shitty ones. I still enjoy reading it, though. I don't know if
Sprite could sue--don't know why they'd bother anyway with such a dinky
company. I'm not familiar with copyright laws, so I can't say.
> > 9)ad for Rescue Records--"There are Visionaries, Then There Are Those
> > Who Follow The Vision." In other words: "we make boring music that
> > sounds like something someone else already made." Sounds about
> > right--Dogwood, POD, NIV, 12th Tribe (aaah, stay away!)...
>
> never heard any of those... maybe we're smarter here in the uk..
> nobody would fall for that..
They're punk, rap/hardcore, hardcore, and rap, respectively. None of
them are bad, they're just mediocre. Although several people have
spoken up for the rap/hardcore of POD...
caleb