Musician Joke: Bass & Drums

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Maggie Mortensen

Jan 13, 1996, 3:00:00 AM1/13/96
<Credit for this joke goes to Peter Schickele, as told
on his National Public Radio show.>

An anthropologist hears a rumor about an
undiscovered tribe that has never been exposed to
the modern world.

She gets very excited. She knows that if she can be
the first anthropologist to document the tribe her
reputation will be assured.

She travels to the remote area where the tribe is
located, and in a tiny village on the outskirts of the
jungle she finds someone who speaks a little
English, is aware of the existence of the tribe, and
agrees to act as her guide.

When the guide takes her to the tribe's location, the
first thing she notices is the drumming: it is
incessant, pounding, goes on constantly. She asks
the guide what the purpose of the constant
drumming is and he only replies "DRUMMING

She asks him what will happen if the drums ever
stop and he just rolls his eyes toward the heavens,
shudders and repeats "EVERYTHING OK AS LONG

The anthropologist stays with the tribe several weeks
and during all that time the drumming never stops.
She gets used to it. She comes to think of it as

Then, on the day she is packing her bags to leave,
she suddenly notices that the drums have stopped.
There is total silence. She turns to her guide and
says "The drumming has stopped! What will happen

And the guide rolls his eyes toward the heavens and
says "OH NO. BASS SOLO."

Maggie Mortensen
Exarch Services
New Orleans USA
"I'm not sure, but I think that ALL music
started in New Orleans."
--Ernie K-Doe


Jan 22, 1996, 3:00:00 AM1/22/96
A couple who is having marital problems goes to see a counselor. The
counselor tries everything, but absolutely cannot get them to speak to
each other. Finally, he gives up. "I can't help you," he says, "but
here's what I want you to do:"

He proceeds to tell them to go down to the local jazz club, where a
quartet was playing. The band counted off the tune and soon they were in
the solo section.

The sax solo began and played 35 choruses of "Stella by Starlight." Still
they didn't talk to each other.

The piano solo began and all through it, they still didn't talk to each

Then the bass solo started. All of a sudden, they started talking...

(Punch-line: ...because, as you know, everyone talks during bass solos..)
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