Tinkling The Yoke's Ivories

[M C hammered]

Foke's, ova the year's, their's been mush derbate ova Yoke's
musishimship. Which is her best?? Like, among today's "hip" youth,
among the punk and new wave revolutchim, you alway's hear of how they
was inspide by the Yoke. Drumma's? Inspide by Yoke! Guitarer's??
Inspide by Yoke!! Basser's?? INSPIDE BY THE COTTON OICKIN YOKE!!
NUFF SAID!!

But today's questium from me Mista Charlie is, Which Instamint did
the Yoke thru her incredible innovations (+infinite classicle
edumicatchim's; I sware ta God fokes, soon they will have her runnin
Juilliard an Berklee), Which Instamint was most reverlutchimized by
the firkin Yoke? Discuss then I Mista Charlie will erturn a wid the
firkin ansa.

Nuff said

[Bernie Woodham]

the bag.

[dan...@realtime.net]

On Sunday, April 28, 2013 12:50:34 PM UTC-5, Bernie Woodham wrote:
> the bag.

It's strikes me, WoodBern, that since Yoko is indeed best known for the "bag" (as you say), and for her "pipes" (aka her loud & piercing voice) -- this COULD mean that all along she's actually been of SCOTTISH descent and nobody realized it!!! Seriously, think about it -- all it would take is the omission of a tiny little hash mark on her birth certificate for her surname to have been altered from the Gaelic O'No to the Asiatic Ono!

Try this experiment: Pick a random listener (preferably one who has not formed any prejudicial opinions). Play for them a Yoko Ono LP and a bagpipe album, and take copious notes on their reactions to each. Then please report back to us!

- Dr S

FYI: Onomastics is the study of the origins of proper names. Really. Look it up!

[M C hammered]

On Apr 30, 7:04 pm, danc...@realtime.net wrote:
> On Sunday, April 28, 2013 12:50:34 PM UTC-5, Bernie Woodham wrote:
> > the bag.
>
> It's strikes me, WoodBern, that since Yoko is indeed best known for the "bag" (as you say), and for her "pipes" (aka her loud & piercing voice) -- this COULD mean that all along she's actually been of SCOTTISH descent and nobody realized it!!! Seriously, think about it -- all it would take is the omission of a tiny little hash mark on her birth certificate for her surname to have been altered from the Gaelic O'No to the Asiatic Ono!
>

My friend I Mista Charlie feel like as if you of just made an exellent
point and fine contrabutchim to Beatles scollaship. Them Scotterish,
inventa'd them Bagpipe's, in an effit to emulate with the aid of
instamentachim's, the Yoke's inimitable (sp?) vocal stylin's!! I
alway's felt like as if when I heard them baggerpipe's, like as if it
was SORTA familya, but also like, they was tryin ta sound a particula
way but not quite pullin it off. Of course they can't pull it
off...cuz ITS THE FRGGIN YOKE FER FIRKSAKE'S!!

Also you may ermemba a QUOTE from Yoke, when she said many of the men
she of been drawed to in her life, have in fact turned out to be Gay.
That's why tje Scotterish men, when they puff them pipe's, wear
DRESSES fer frigsake's!

One last point. Scotterland in additchim to baggerpipe's and men who
cross dress fer Yoke, hs know'd to have thus thing, the LOCK NEST
MONSTA. What is it basicly, its this thing that luves in a lake.
Pretty wierd. Anyway, some say its a dinersore that nebba went
extrinked, otha's say its Puff the Magic Dragon. Whatebba foke's!!
The point is, it live's in wata....wish can only mean one thing...ITS
A COTTON PICKIN FITCH PEOPLE!! So like, if I Mista Charlie, iffa I
ebba visit Scottsdale, will go and find that thing an chop it into
bite-size potion's....SUSHI FER THE YOKE PEOPLE!! Cuz next time I
meet Yoke, I'm gonna be betta prepaya'd...

And next time she WILL touch me.

Nuff said

[M C hammered]

Yes indeed, Yoke is quite perfishint, a Masta most would agree, if the
friggin BAG.

Now the bag, many look at it, and what they see, ALL they see, is
simplythe just a bag.

But in THE YOKES hands it is much more then that. In YOKES hands, a
bag become's MUSIC. In YOKES hands, a bag beome's ART. And in YOKES
hands, last but not least, in Yokes talernted an magicle hands, hands
that of touched everthing from Johns gllasses to raw firkin fitch, in
these hands the Bag has become'd LOVE.

Now iffa only she would touch me Mista Charlie. (She will!! I'm
posertive!!!)

Nuff said

[dan...@realtime.net]

On Friday, May 3, 2013 6:22:20 PM UTC-5, M C hammered wrote:
In YOKES talernted an magicle hands the Bag has become'd LOVE.

Hence the massive hit by admitted Onophile act The B-52s:

"Love Sack"!

- Dr S

[jtees4]

On Sun, 28 Apr 2013 09:19:34 -0700 (PDT), M C hammered
<smoke...@yahoo.com> wrote:

>Foke's, ova the year's, their's been mush derbate ova Yoke's

When my daughter was little she used to say..."Daddy, I love you so
MUSH". Thanks for the memories MC.
*************
Some of my music:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=789610

[abe slaney]

On May 3, 6:52 pm, M C hammered <smokerdu...@yahoo.com> wrote:

> My friend I Mista Charlie feel like as if you of just made an exellent
> point and fine contrabutchim to Beatles scollaship.  Them Scotterish,
> inventa'd them Bagpipe's, in an effit to emulate with the aid of
> instamentachim's, the Yoke's inimitable (sp?) vocal stylin's!!  I
> alway's felt like as if when I heard them baggerpipe's, like as if it
> was SORTA familya, but also like, they was tryin ta sound a particula
> way but not quite pullin it off.  Of course they can't pull it
> off...cuz ITS THE FRGGIN YOKE FER FIRKSAKE'S!!

As a scolla yourself, you might be interested to learn that there is a
well-known jig played on the pipes called "Old Hag You Have Killed Me".

[Fattuchus]

It is hard for me fully decipher what you are saying, but if you are
asking which instrument did she play the best, I think if John were
here, he would say, "John's flute."

[Fattuchus]

Fascinating.

If I said that, there would be a sh*t storm.

[abe slaney]

No, actually there would not because it would be just another drip in
the Chinese Water Torture of Yoko Ono denigration with which you have
plagued this group for lo so many years. After a while, the shit stops
storming.

[M C hammered]

Yes the B-53's is one a them bang's (one a MANY I mite ad) who took
they insprachim from the Yoke. Image = from Yoke. Style = from Yoke.
Instamentachim = from Yoke. Peace theme = from Yoke. Vocal stylins =
from Yoke. Lyrical contrent = from Yoke. Nuff said,

Now it may also be nottered that tho the ladies of this bang the b-53s
had 1950s "beehive" hayastyles (Yoke was alive back then anna I mista
Charlie was almost bone), the men is extremely...erm...gay or homer-
freakin-sexual iffa ya will. But just lookitit fokes, the words of
Yoke....She said she offen has a fine conneckshin and empathy fer Gay
man. so mebba John may of had them...homersexual tendrencies afta
all.


Fokes, I'll Mista Charlie admit it to ya,...I feel mebbe next time I
meet Yoke, mebbe if I tryta look an act gay, mebbe then she will
TOUCH? Sound like a plan fokes?? Do you feel it will work??

I Mista Charlie will accept all advice an opinion's.

Nuff said

[dan...@realtime.net]

On Saturday, May 25, 2013 11:00:43 AM UTC-5, M C hammered wrote:
> I feel mebbe next time I meet Yoke, mebbe if I tryta look an act
> gay, mebbe then she will TOUCH? Sound like a plan fokes?? Do you

> feel it will work?? I will accept all advice an opinion's.

Sadly, I can personally speak only for the former Ms. Kurt Cobain aka Courtney Love, but the last time the Widder Cobain and I got in a physical altercation, she immediately broke it off when a trio of drag queens came into the club where we were having our little tete-a-tete, and as soon as she became aware of their presence and gushing admiration towards her, her eyes glazed over and she followed them off into the night.

The seemingly clear moral would be that witchy rock star widows* just LU-U-UV them some light-loafered lads.

When Love's "keeper" arrived on the scene a moment later, I informed him that he was a little late, pointed in the general direction of Tranny Alley, and off he went a-running, screaming her name and attempting to get her back on schedule.

(Better you should try to get in touch with Mr. A. Fein of California. Well-founded rumor has it that in the early 1970s, Capitol hired him as a faux-record exec in order to draw Yoko away from John when they found she was severely slowing down discussions between Lennon and the label personnel regarding a new album...)

- Dr s

*(As always, I wish to emphasize that the other members of Hole have never shown themselves to be anything other than polite and respectful to me, and once even replaced a bottle of liquor that one of the Butthole Surfers stole from me (unsolicited) to give to them at a Lollapalooza gig. This is in great contrast to such performers as Brit Daniel of SPOON, who once got me caught up in an elaborate practical joke, and Steven Drozd of the Flaming Lips, who enjoys reminding me of the time he set my head on fire.)

[M C hammered]

On May 25, 1:32 pm, danc...@realtime.net wrote:
> On Saturday, May 25, 2013 11:00:43 AM UTC-5, M C hammered wrote:
> > I feel mebbe next time I  meet Yoke, mebbe if I tryta look an act
> > gay, mebbe then she will TOUCH?  Sound like a plan fokes??  Do you
> > feel it will work?? I will accept all advice an opinion's.
>
> Sadly, I can personally speak only for the former Ms. Kurt Cobain aka Courtney Love, but the last time the Widder Cobain and I got in a physical altercation, she immediately broke it off when a trio of drag queens came into the club where we were having our little tete-a-tete, and as soon as she became aware of their presence and gushing admiration towards her, her eyes glazed over and she followed them off into the night.
>
> The seemingly clear moral would be that witchy rock star widows* just LU-U-UV them some light-loafered lads.
>
> When Love's "keeper" arrived on the scene a moment later, I informed him that he was a little late, pointed in the general direction of Tranny Alley, and off he went a-running, screaming her name and attempting to get her back on schedule.

Was this "keepa" feller little, dainty an divinely dressered with
metallic orange skin anna nice glass of chardonnay (sp?) that he was a
sipperin most delicately?? If so, he was prolly Mista Mintz, who I
Mista Charlie of had the pleasa of meetin. He's a wondaful fella, an
the stuff he say's about Yoke, he only say's cuz he's her FRIEND
people, her FRIEND. Ebba herda FRIENGSHIP people?? It aint cuz hes
her "lapdog" (poodle) or "syncophat". Its a cuz hes her friend, her
best friend, mush as he aso became it, the BEST FREIND of Paris Hilton
and SEAN.

Now back to the topic you broshe'd that of Coatney Lubb. Well I Mista
Charlie certinly feel as if this women, this Coatney Lubb, she was
like so many otha's, inspide by Yoke. Cuzza like, I heardit, she
(Coatney) of been to Japang, an danced theya, before comerin back to
America, to play Punk Rock (a style inventere'd by Yoke) and inspiya
Kurt Cobrain, mush as Yoke inspiya'd John. Also this woman, Coatney
Lubb, wrote a song, a tribute ta Yoke, that menshim's the friggin
Dakota where Coatney wished she a libbed, so she coulda been inspiya'd
by Yoke mush as John was. Also its ruma'd that Coatney, when
pregmint, took herion, mush as some say Yoke did with Sean...I aint
passerin judgement on this, cuzza ya can't doit fokes, ya just CA'NT
pass judgement on this women, this Yoke, who inspiya'd John to bake
it, the bread, an producered Sean to keep alive Johns leggicy, or this
women Coatney, who inspiraya'd Kurt, an foamed a bang, HOLE, to create
Punk Rock in homage to Yoke.

Nuff said