WORLD SERIES FOES CLEAN UP THEIR ACT

[Intrepid]

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LATE BULLETIN
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ST. LOUIS (Rueters) -- There
will be NO MORE beards or fuzzy
faces in this year's World Series.
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Both the St. Louis Cardinals and
Texas Rangers have agreed to shave
their beards and/or whiskers for
the crucial sixth game.
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"Hallelujah," said Tim McCarver,
who reportedly often takes payola
from the manufacturers of after-shave
lotion and Tidy Bowl.
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Bill O'Reilly, well-known BS
tosser, probably put it best.
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"This is one small step for
man," he remarkd. "But one
giant leap for mankind."
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EARLY BULLETIN
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COOPERSTOWN, NY. (Rueters) --
The American Civil Liberties Union
has filed a class-action lawsuit
against the World Series, the Fox
TV Network and the Schick and
Gillette Razor Blade companies.
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It contends that, by allowing so
many St. Louis Cardinals and quite
a few Texas Rangers to play with
beards, it could set a trend and put
more and more American barbers
out of work.
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"Thank God for resolving what
was a revolting development,." said
R. J. "Rip" Van Winkle, a Barbers'
Union spokesman, in a prepared
statement.
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"The Cardinals and Rangers were
a disgrace to the National Pastime,
to Apple Pie, to Motherhood and --
Lest we forget -- to Kate Smith's
'God Bless America'."
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A few baseball historians claim
Babe Ruth wore a beard for one
Yankee game but no physical
evidence could be found -- and it
has always been regarded as an
unfounded, disgusting rumor.
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Until this morning, that is . . .
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Look what we found after ripping
off wallpaper in great-grandpa's
old room -- THIS, along with lots
and lots of dirty lady pictures.
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http://s3.hubimg.com/u/3162974_f520.jpg
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As for the current Beard Issue,
baseball fans complained that,
when they first tuned in to the
World Series this year, they
rubbed their eyes in wonder.
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Most thought they clicked on the
wrong channel and were watching
re-runs of games played by the
House of David, that famous
barnstorming team of yesteryear.
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CNN reported President Obama had
instructed the Cardinals and Rangers
to clean up their act and show up at
the ballpark tonight with cheeks as
smooth as a baby's rear end.
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When the Ump calls "PLAY BALL!"
to begin the sixth game in the
series, you'll be quite impressed
at how well both teams listen to
orders.ed.
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OFFICIAL PHOTO - 2011 ST. LOUIE CARDS
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http://www.adkinandadkin.com/images/hod3.JPG
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[Likely Story]

If this was supposed to be funny....you failed.