Kissonline - FACT!
Dom
"humorous posts" and not so Humorous posts about the Scab Eric Singer
pretending he was Peter Criss traced my IP to my work and tried to
have me fired from my job.
"All opinions, good & bad are welcomed here" at the Kiss Koncentration
Kamp.
And you should see how he treated one of his own former employees
moderator Tim Tech who he also did this to. But he went further with
Tim. Contacted his employer (a nuclear power plant) and claimed Tim
was uploading virus' from there to KOhelL. Read about that here :
http://pub89.ezboard.com/fasylumofthefewfrm1.showMessage?topicID=13.topic
Join the boycott fellow Kiss fans as the "Official" Kiss site should
be for Kiss fans. Even those of us who think only Gene, Paul, Peter, &
Ace should ever wear the Demon, Starchild, Cat,& Spaceman makeup!!
The following is directly from Tim from his website here :
http://pub89.ezboard.com/basylumofthefew
Those of you that know me, know of my situation with Mike Brandvold,
the producer of KISSOnline. You've heard of Mike's attempt to have me
terminated from my job with a virus hoax HE perpetrated against me.
The hoax, which was later proven to be untrue, almost led to the loss
of my job.
As a result of his false accusation against me I was suspended without
pay for a period of two weeks at work. This suspension eventually
costing me $1464.42 and put a black mark on my employment record with
the company I work for in Virginia.
Also, all of this has directly threatened my ability to financially
provide for my wife and four year old son.
users.erols.com/squabit/Family.jpg
Many of you have had run in's with Mike yourself. Some have had there
KOL usernames deleted time & time again for no apparent reason. It
seems, to have an opinion contrary to Mike's is grounds for
termination, be it your job or your user account.
The following is a boycott email I would like everyone to copy and
send to Signatures Network. The purpose of this email is to let Mike's
bosses, D. Hunt & Gene Simmons, know we are extremely dissatisfied
with the way KOL is run.
Remember, turnabout "is" fair play!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Signatures product boycott, including KISS merchandise.
Due to circumstances beyond our control, we find it necessary to take
action against Signatures Net by the formation of a product boycott.
This boycott, which includes all registered Signatures products, is
necessary due to the actions of one of your employees, a Mr. Mike
Brandvold. Mike is the webmaster at KISSOnline and administrator of
the bulletin board there.
Mr. Brandvold's continued disregard for the rights of freedom of
speech, and his lack of respect for the personal lives of KISSOnline
users leads us to take this action. Therefore, from this moment on, we
will refuse to purchase any product with the Signatures logo. We will
refuse to use any Signatures supported websites and or services. And
we will continue said boycott until such a time that Mr. Brandvold is
no longer the webmaster/producer/administrator of KISSOnline.
You will receive a copy of this statement with each new member of the
boycott.
Sincerely,
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ques...@genesimmons.com Gene Simmons
dh...@signaturesnet.com Don Hunt, President, Chief Operating Officer
and Chief Financial Officer of Signatures Network
GotPlan
===
AJ IS A RACIST
"Wrong. I hate to say as myself, I'm more far SUPERIOR IQ than many people
around here in RMAK!!!
You attack me as English skills is no excuse and you are insults." - WESLEY
"My conscious is clear"-AJ,KISS...@WEBTV.NET
GotPlan
DID HE GET DIVORCED YET?
Dom
> BRANDWHORE IS A LOSER
>
> DID HE GET DIVORCED YET?
Not to my knowledge. Guess the wife hasn't figured out how all the
pornsta....I mean Girls Of Kiss are getting their free plugs yet.
;)
Shane Penney
On 5 Mar 2003, Dom wrote:
> Mike Brandvold after encouraging me about his enojyment of my
> "humorous posts" and not so Humorous posts about the Scab Eric Singer
> pretending he was Peter Criss traced my IP to my work and tried to
> have me fired from my job.
>
> "All opinions, good & bad are welcomed here" at the Kiss Koncentration
> Kamp.
>
> And you should see how he treated one of his own former employees
> moderator Tim Tech who he also did this to. But he went further with
> Tim. Contacted his employer (a nuclear power plant) and claimed Tim
> was uploading virus' from there to KOhelL. Read about that here :
> http://pub89.ezboard.com/fasylumofthefewfrm1.showMessage?topicID=13.topic
If this is indeed true, this is the most unbelievable bullshit I
have heard of someone resorting to. KISSONLINE has lost credibility
with me slowly since it started in 1998. Now it's at the
point where it rarely even reports KISS "news". I prefer KISSASYLUM
anyhow.
Shane
steveh99
When E.F. Shane cusses I listen!
In article <Pine.OSF.3.95.103030...@plato.ucs.mun.ca>,
sha...@morgan.ucs.mun.ca says...
Dom
> If this is indeed true, this is the most unbelievable bullshit I
> have heard of someone resorting to. KISSONLINE has lost credibility
> with me slowly since it started in 1998. Now it's at the
> point where it rarely even reports KISS "news". I prefer KISSASYLUM
> anyhow.
>
> Shane
This is 110% truth. My online name was Nickodemus and I also used The
Anti-Singer. Tim was known as Tim Tech and he was a moderator there.
If you ever visited their BB (especially during that era) I'm sure you
will see our names.
Hell the majority of my threads can still be found in their "jokes"
section. Do a search on the 2 names I gave you above and feel free to
ask any questions over there concerning either me (Nickodemus) or Tim
Tech and watch how fast the thread will get zapped into infinity.
And while you're there, ask Mikey why he didn't make it to the Atlanta
Expo. ;)
Byron Fogle
the Nicodemus posts from asylum were some of my faves and very funny
never bothered much on KOL cause i knew about that place and person (mike) a
long time ago
"Dom" <Domenick...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:6b4cec7f.03030...@posting.google.com...
Dom
> no shit?
> the Nicodemus posts from asylum were some of my faves and very funny
> never bothered much on KOL cause i knew about that place and person (mike) a
> long time ago
Yeah that was me! Thanks, glad you enjoyed the posts. I kind of knew
Mike was a douche bag from his visits to the Asylum, but I had no idea
he would try to ruin Kiss fans lives over their opinions of the band.
There is a big difference between banning someone from your site and
attempting to have them fired from their job and leaving them in a
position where they can't support their family.
Apparently Gene didn't like this either when he found out. As I
pointed out to him "How am I ever going to afford that Kasket if your
webmaster gets me fired from my job?" LOL!!
Byron Fogle
and being received well and Mike contacted me about doing a debate piece
called Two Sides of The Coin (which all was my concept) anyhoo....after I
did the 1st article it cause a bit of uncomfortableness between Chris &
myself though Chris has never said this too me but I've heard from others he
was upset that I "jumped ship" so Mike didn't almost cost me a job like you
(since I never got one cent for my articles on Asylum) but did in my eyes
cost me a friendship with Chris, someone who took a chance on me when I was
just a sheep who loved the band and bootlegs to the opinionated son of a
bitch I am today.
If I had to do it over I'd said fuck no, but you live and learn
by the way half of my posts never even make the "post a comment" or BBS
threads when I did go on KOL must be afraid of people like us who don't kiss
the asses of the band members.]
"Dom" <Domenick...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:6b4cec7f.0303...@posting.google.com...
Dom
best ever and when it came to bootlegs....well that's the first place
I had heard that their was film of Kiss playing in the gym in '75. No
one seemed to believe the guy who said it, but now the authors of Kiss
Alive & Forever seemed to have validated that story from what I've
been told.
The Asylum always has been and always will be the site for real Kiss
fans. I just wish Chris would give us (or his depending on how you
look at it) our BB back!!
GotPlan
>
>Wow that sucks!! Whatever happened to the BB Chris had?
WHOEVER WAS IN CHARGE KEEP LOSING THEIR SERVER
Byron Fogle
that's why you don't see as much updates anymore
with KA, EricCarr.com & Kulick.net plus his full time job ,wife(Beth) and
I'm sure plans to have a family I can see why his priorities have changed
as for the BB I miss that place and all the friends I made there
Hell we never got the rest of A Day In The Life of....for Vinnie, Bruce,
Mark or Eric Singer LOL!!
I also think the server doesn't support the java script needed for the BB
when he switched servers
I contacted that guy and he was legit but I can't recall why he never sent
the footage if he wanted money or unreleased footage in return
it was a while back......
"Dom" <Domenick...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:6b4cec7f.03031...@posting.google.com...
Killer Rabbit
"Byron Fogle" <byro...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:vl2dnedLlIi...@comcast.com...
> as for the BB I miss that place and all the friends I made there
> Hell we never got the rest of A Day In The Life of....for Vinnie, Bruce,
> Mark or Eric Singer LOL!!
I remember those...LOL! I still have visions of Gene in a bright yellow
Aztec running over Paul's shrubs. ;-)
Lori =^.^=
--
"All the Arab Muslim world needs is Burger King, Rock and Roll and American
movies... wait and see."
--Gene Simmons--
To reply by e-mail, remove "nospammers" from address.
Byron Fogle
they were so good I had to keep them....I wish I could remember the guy's
screename who wrote em so I could give him props....
any old Asylum BBS'ers here know??
A Day in the life of Gene Simmons:
6:30AM - Wakes up on a mattress stuffed with fan's ten dollar bills. (Pillow
stuffed with $20's.) Puts on monster boot slippers and shuffles into
kitchen.
6:35AM - Stubs toe on kitchen table. Says trademark Revenge "Ow."
7:10AM - Eats platter of buttermilk pancakes the size of hula-hoops. Grabs
maid's butt.
8:09AM - Crank calls Peter Criss. Offers him job as new Meow Mix
spokesperson.
9:32AM - Grabs maid's butt.
10:10AM - Eats Snickers bar whole. (Wrapper and all.)
11:54AM - Claims to invent not only the horns up finger symbol, but also the
surfer's hang loose symbol, the hitchhiker's thumb symbol and the middle
finger salute. Grabs maid's butt.
12:42PM - Watches Nicholas pop a zit.
1:26PM - Goes to beach. Leaves after other beach goers keep rolling him back
into the water and trying to find his blow-hole. Grab's lifeguard's butt.
2:17PM - Drives thru Jack in the Box on Mulholland Drive. Orders one of
everything. Spills onion rings in lap.
2:26PM - Runs over Paul Stanley's azalea bushes with his yellow Pontiac
Aztek.
3:10PM - Plays Ding-Dong-Ditch on Mark St. John.
4:03PM - Goes to Galleria Mall. Eats entire Mrs. Field's cookie stand. Grabs
mall guard's butt.
5:30PM - Dinner at home. Half listens about Sophie's day in second grade.
Slurps noodles loudly. Eats peas with a knife. Grabs Shannon's and maid's
butts with each hand.
6:16PM - Drinks entire 12 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper. Belches second verse of
Plaster Caster. Gets words wrong.
7:00PM - Logs onto KissOnline, posing as FrehleyFan69. Types long winded
post about his desire to smooch the spaceman. (Disclaimer: Apologies if
there really is a FrehleyFan69 over there.)
7:30PM - Eats entire 4 gallon size jar of mayonaise. Grabs maid's butt.
8:23PM - Claims to have invented the peace hand symbol, the victory hand
symbol, the air "quoation marks" symbol and the ZZ Top hand jive gesture.
Sues ZZ Top.
9:18PM - Logs onto Kiss Asylum, posing as Kiss Dude. Posts "What If
Scenario".
10:11PM - Drinks entire bottle of Yukon Jack. Bellows with laughter over
fans who believe he does not drink.
11:00PM - Sneaks into kitchen and eats entire bag of mini-chocolate
doughnuts. Wakes up maid and grabs her butt.
11:10PM - Goes to bed wearing his new Dragonfly silk pajamas with bunnies
all over.
3:14AM - Crank calls Ace Frehley. Asks if his refrigerator is running.
A Day in the life of Paul Stanley:
6:30AM - Wakes up in bed with the six Carols, Penelope Cruz, Winona Ryder,
Gillian Anderson, chimpanzee and Iron Chef Chen Kinichi. Wears official
Kiss-Paul Stanley footie pajamas. Grabs his own butt. Shouts Heaven's on
Fire intro.
6:35AM - Is startled by wig on the floor of bathroom. Thinks it's rare and
deadly Californian Gigantor-Tarantula.
7:10AM - Pours himself bowl of trail-mix granola, grapes and root beer.
Spits it in sink disgusted. Zaps calorie-filled breakfast burrito instead.
Grabs own butt.
8:11AM - Crank calls Ace Frehley. Pretends to be manager of the Jack Daniels
Distillery. Claims they've run out of bourbon. Listens to former band mate
sob uncontrollably. Yells "Baba Booey!" Hangs up.
9:32AM - Admires own reflection in mirror. Makes kissy faces at himself.
Grabs own butt.
10:10AM - Gives chimpanzee pedicure.
11:54AM - Enters Fortress of Solitude (a.k.a. the basement.) Performs evil
voodoo ceremony over little dolls shaped to resemble Michael Bolton and
Desmond Child. Grabs own butt.
12:42PM - Writes sequel to Bang, Bang You. Calls it "Chugga, Chugga.
Chugga-Chugga Whoo-Whoo You." (An ode to sex on choo-choo trains.)
1:26PM - Admires own reflection in mirror again. Makes not only kissy faces
at himself, but also whispers dirty words to himself. Grabs own butt.
2:17PM - Calls official Kiss merchandise factory in the Kawloon Province of
China. Demands to know when full size blow up dolls of himself will be
ready. Threatens the factory manager in perfect Cantonese. Screams Heaven's
on Fire intro into phone.
2:30PM - Calls Beverly Hills Police. Reports a yellow Pontiac Aztek with the
license plate "Witz 1" has run over his prized azalea bushes. Shouts,
"B-b-b-b-baby. I want. I want. I want. I want. I wannnnnnnttttttt YOU!"
3:10PM - Puts on Tears are Falling costume. Walks through Compton in broad
daylight. Left alone by local residents. Mistaken for a pimp.
4:03PM - Bakes batch of chocolate chip cookies for next studio session with
the band. Uses Ex-Lax morsels as a wicked surprise for Simmons. Cackles
maniacally as he stirs cookie batter. Grabs own butt.
5:30PM - Eats dinner alone in front of tv. Dinner consists of Microwaveable
Lean Cuisine Macaroni-n-cheese, VanCamp's Beanie Weenies, a 2 liter of
cherry Cola and Terms of Endearment on DVD. Sobs throughout movie.
7:26PM - Admires own reflection in mirror yet again. Licks reflection. Fills
tub. Asks Calgon to "Take him away." Grabs own butt and several other
naughty bits in tub.
8:00PM - Logs onto KissOnline. Sees actual questions of importance. Types in
fluff replies. Enters AOL chat rooms posing as someone named "Shannon" .
Hobbies listed include nude sky diving and nude hang gliding.
8:30PM - Orders Hawaiian pizza from Domino's. Tips Vinnie Vincent 2 whole
dollars. Dances around house with a slice of pizza in hand, humming Who
Wants to be Lonely and flinging pieces of pineapple at chimpanzee.
8:23PM - Builds "Fort Stanley" out of old Domino's pizza boxes. Uses metal
spaghetti stainer as army helmet. Makes war noises in his fort. Grabs own
butt.
9:18PM - Attempts to log onto Kiss Asylum. Cannot. Cruises Internet mullet
sites and plays online Bingo instead.
10:30PM - Watches VH-1's KISS special "Behind the Make-Up". Screams like a
school girl whenever Peter Criss is pictured. Frightens chimpanzee.
11:30PM - Goes into kitchen. Makes himself cup of French vanilla coffee.
Trys to remember name of French waiter that hit on him during last tour.....
"JEAN LUC!!!" Grabs own butt.
11:10PM - Goes to bed with 4 of the 6 Carols, Halle Barry, Fiona Apple,
Bjork, Shania Twain, a reindeer and Roger Ebert. Uses the Clapper to turn
off the lights.
3:20AM - Crank calls Gene Simmons. Claims to be his accountant. Tells
Simmons he has lost all his money betting on greyhounds. Cackles maniacally.
Shouts, "Baba Booey!" Hangs up.
A Day in the Life of Ace Frehley:
3:10PM - Wakes up long after the sun is warm. Does not remember who or where
he is. Calms down at site of "Hi my name is..." sticker on his pajama shirt.
Opens can of Heineken from bedside cooler. Grabs butler's butt.
3:17PM - Goes to bathroom. Frightens away his own reflection. Brushes teeth
with Glenfiddich Single Malt Scotch.
4:00PM - Eats "breakfast" with family. Charges Monique $120 to sit at her
normal chair. Charges Jeanette $150 to sit at hers. Charges Anton Fig $200
to sit in the breakfast nook. Randomly screams at Jeanette to "Let go of my
Eggo!" (They're not even eating waffles.) Pours Malibu Rum on his corn
flakes. Grabs Anton's butt.
5:15PM - Hunts pesky gophers in his garden, garroting them with G-Strings
from his Gibson guitar. (Try saying THAT five times fast!!) Drinks syrup out
of the humming bird feeder.
6:02PM - Passes out in Jeanette's vegetable patch. Wakes to find artichoke
stuck to his face. Grabs butler's butt.
7:26PM - Supervises the construction of his multi-track recording studio.
Soul kisses construction site foreman. Tells off-color Irish joke. Gets
kicked in the space-nads by Foreman.
8:00PM - Logs onto KissOnline, posing as Vinnie Vincent. Posts three page
tirade about how greedy Gene and Paul are. Uses no verbs.
8:30PM - Nearly chokes when he accidentally drinks a glass of water,
thinking it to be vodka. Grabs butler's butt.
9:18PM - Logs onto Kiss Asylum, using his screen name Nickodemus. Tells
off-color Irish joke and gets kicked in the cyberspace-nads by Chris.
10:30PM - Drunk dials Don Cornelius, former host of Soul Train, apologizes
for not being there for the show's 50th anniversary. Cornelius begs him for
the last time to stop calling. Threatens to cap his cracker ass.
11:30PM - Fills his Olympic size swimming pool with Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer.
Proceeds to do cannon-balls from the top of the guest house. Grabs cabana
boy's butt.
12:09AM - Following a game of Quarters with house guest Tommy Thayer, he
accidentally rejoins the band Kiss. Becomes disoritented and confused when
he discovers he will have to wear the Egyptian Warrior make-up now. Soul
kisses Thayer.
12:15AM - Passes out. Thayer makes himself a sandwich, places Ace's hand in
a pot of lukewarm water and splits.
3:30AM - Awakened in the middle of the night by ringing phone. Pulls phone
out of wall socket, swearing over the rash of crank calls pouring into his
home during the wee hours. Soul kisses butler. Passes out.
A Day in the Life of Peter Criss:
5:15AM - Uses Ouija board to contact dead spirit of Stan Penridge. Asks for
lyrics/words that rhyme with 'home right now', 'fifty five frame' and 'that
good for nothing, dirty, filthy g** damn, f***ing Witz bastard. I hate him!
I wanna kill him'. Receives no reply.
6:35AM - Naps.
7:10AM - Plays with shiny things. Licks self clean.
8:11AM - Reads Wall Street Journal. Checks status of stocks: 500 shares Meow
Mix, 400 Shares Tender Vittles, 300 shares Purina Cat Chow, 2 shares Kiss
Company. Sells the last one.
9:32AM - Naps.
10:10AM - Crank calls ex-wife Lydia. Makes obscene tongue noises over phone.
Realizes he has answering machine. Claims to be Gene Simmons. Hangs up.
Licks self clean.
11:54AM - Naps.
12:42PM - Runs out of kitchen and into living room at break-neck pace for no
apparent reason. (Those BB members with cats will get that joke.)
1:26PM - Licks self clean. Settles in for main afternoon snooze.
3:30PM - Runs lightning fast down three flights of stairs at the sound of
JennieLee using the electric can opener.
4:10PM - Walks over three blocks and takes a dump in the ruined azalea
bushes of one Mr. Paul Stanley. Watches yellow Pontiac Aztek speeding away.
(Read the other ones for this running joke.)
4:46PM - Goes on shooting spree in Watts with Morris, Felix and Toonces 'The
Cat who could drive a car.'
7:05PM - Eats entire tray of lasagna and kicks Odie off of dining room
table. (OH! SORRY! THAT'S A DAY IN THE LIFE OF GARFIELD! SORRY!!!)
8:00PM - Logs onto KissOnline posing as PS74. Accuses Eric Singer of being a
scab and questions his integrity. Licks self clean.
8:30PM - Climbs neighbor's tree. Gets stuck.
9:00PM - Claws the ever-loving crap out of brand new sofa and ruins
expensive Parisian drapes in living room. Licks self clean.
9:18PM - Logs onto Kiss Asylum, using screen name Parasite74. Accuses Eric
Singer of being a scab and questions his integrity. Licks self clean.
10:30PM - Watches VH-1's KISS special "Behind the Make-Up". Screams like
Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man' whenever Paul Stanley is pictured. Licks self
clean during commercial breaks.
11:30PM - Crank calls Ace Frehley. Asks, "Is Raoul there?" Hangs up.
11:45PM - Crank calls Ace Frehley. Asks, "Is Raoul there?" Hangs up.
12:00AM - Crank calls Ace Frehley. Says, "Hi. This is Raoul. Any messages
for me?" A Day in the Life of Peter Criss:
5:15AM - Uses Ouija board to contact dead spirit of Stan Penridge. Asks for
lyrics/words that rhyme with 'home right now', 'fifty five frame' and 'that
good for nothing, dirty, filthy g** damn, f***ing Witz bastard. I hate him!
I wanna kill him'. Receives no reply.
6:35AM - Naps.
7:10AM - Plays with shiny things. Licks self clean.
8:11AM - Reads Wall Street Journal. Checks status of stocks: 500 shares Meow
Mix, 400 Shares Tender Vittles, 300 shares Purina Cat Chow, 2 shares Kiss
Company. Sells the last one.
9:32AM - Naps.
10:10AM - Crank calls ex-wife Lydia. Makes obscene tongue noises over phone.
Realizes he has answering machine. Claims to be Gene Simmons. Hangs up.
Licks self clean.
11:54AM - Naps.
12:42PM - Runs out of kitchen and into living room at break-neck pace for no
apparent reason. (Those BB members with cats will get that joke.)
1:26PM - Licks self clean. Settles in for main afternoon snooze.
3:30PM - Runs lightning fast down three flights of stairs at the sound of
JennieLee using the electric can opener.
4:10PM - Walks over three blocks and takes a dump in the ruined azalea
bushes of one Mr. Paul Stanley. Watches yellow Pontiac Aztek speeding away.
(Read the other ones for this running joke.)
4:46PM - Goes on shooting spree in Watts with Morris, Felix and Toonces 'The
Cat who could drive a car.'
7:05PM - Eats entire tray of lasagna and kicks Odie off of dining room
table. (OH! SORRY! THAT'S A DAY IN THE LIFE OF GARFIELD! SORRY!!!)
8:00PM - Logs onto KissOnline posing as PS74. Accuses Eric Singer of being a
scab and questions his integrity. Licks self clean.
8:30PM - Climbs neighbor's tree. Gets stuck.
9:00PM - Claws the ever-loving crap out of brand new sofa and ruins
expensive Parisian drapes in living room. Licks self clean.
9:18PM - Logs onto Kiss Asylum, using screen name Parasite74. Accuses Eric
Singer of being a scab and questions his integrity. Licks self clean.
10:30PM - Watches VH-1's KISS special "Behind the Make-Up". Screams like
Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man' whenever Paul Stanley is pictured. Licks self
clean during commercial breaks.
11:30PM - Crank calls Ace Frehley. Asks, "Is Raoul there?" Hangs up.
11:45PM - Crank calls Ace Frehley. Asks, "Is Raoul there?" Hangs up.
12:00AM - Crank calls Ace Frehley. Says, "Hi. This is Raoul. Any messages
for me?"
A Day in the Life of Vinnie Vincent:
6:00AM - Awoken by irritating and shrill alarm clock. Calls attorney. Files
Class Action Law Suit against "Get Outta Bed" Alarm Clock Company and
"Stanley-Simmons Inc."
6:10AM - Scratches tender buttocksial region with substandard 1-ply bathroom
tissue. Calls attorney. Files Class Action Law Suit against "Sir
Poops-A-Lot" Toilet Paper Industries, Inc. and "Stanley-Simmons Inc."
7:30AM - Burns roof of mouth with hot coffee. Calls attorney. Files Class
Action Law Suit against "Folgers" Company and "Stanley-Simmons Inc."
8:15AM - Steps outside for morning run. It is raining. Calls attorney. Files
Class Action Law Suit against "God, Inc.", "Mother Nature Enterprises",
"Fox28 Beverly Hills, KAYU weatherman Dan Mitchinson." and "Stanley-Simmons
Inc."
9:32AM - Opens $3.67 residual check from LifeTime Network. Calls attorney.
Files Class Action Lawsuit against "Scott Baio", "Erin Moran", "Al Molinaro
" from 'Joanie Loves Chachi' and "Stanley-Simmons Inc."
10:10AM - Receives phone call from a drunken incoherent man claiming his
name is Ace Grehley. (A clever alias!!) Is insulted over guitar work on some
album Vinnie has never heard of called "Sneakers of the Night". Calls
attorney. Files Class Action Lawsuit against "Jack Daniels Distillery" and
"Stanley-Simmons Inc."
12:42PM - In a fit of depression ... calls attorney. Accidentally files
Class Action Lawsuit against himself.
2:28PM- Watches 'Welcome Back Kotter' on TVLand. Calls attorney. Files
Lawsuit against "Vinnie Barbarino" and "Stanley-Simmons Inc."
5:00PM - Clocks in at Rodeo Drive Domino's Pizza. Calls attorney. Files
Class Action Lawsuit against Big Ernie, the Swing Shift Manager for parking
in his spot and "Stanley-Simmons Inc."
8:28PM - Delivers Hawaiian pizza to 1420 Shandi Lane. Hears oddly familiar
music after pressing doorbell button. Chimpanzee opens door, takes pizza and
pays for it. Receives $2 tip. Contemplates contacting attorney... but does
not as actual money was just made.
8:45PM - Is fired as driver for Domino's for licking customer's crazy bread
prior to delivery. Calls attorney. Files Class Action Law Suit against
"Domino's Pizza", the "United Bread Makers Association" of America, Local
624 and "Stanley-Simmons Inc."
9:00PM - Logs onto KissOnline, posing as screen name Winnie Wincent. Claims
the Egyptian Warrior make-up concept was his. Emails attorney.
Electronically Files Class Action Lawsuit against "KissOnline.Com", "America
Online", "Time-Warner" and "Stanley-Simmons Inc."
9:18PM - Logs onto Kiss Asylum using his screen name DwnSouthJukin. Emails
attorney. Files Class Action Lawsuit against "Originals", "Buzz",
"Nickodemus", "Ace Ramone", "It's My Life" and "Stanley-Simmons, Inc."
10:30PM - Is handed keys to kingdom. Hangs self. Cartoon-style ghost rises
up. Calls ghost-like attorney. Files not-so-ghost-like Lawsuit against
"Hanna Barbera", "Cartoon Network", "Fred Flintstone Enterprises" and
"Stanley-Simmons Inc."
A Day in the Life of Mark St. John:
5:15AM - Wakes up. Falls out of bed. Drags a comb across his head. (No,
wait... that's Paul McCartney. Sorry. I'll start again...)
6:35AM - Wakes up to find his left baby toe has ballooned to 15 times its
regular size. Faints from pain while trying to put on Nikes.
7:20AM - Frightens neighborhood schoolchildren waiting for the school bus
with his freakishly huge knee.
8:11AM - Goes to work at local A&P. Bags groceries. Is shocked to see his
own face on carton of milk his 86yr old neighbor purchases.
9:32AM - Cleans up broken pickle jar in Aisle 12. Startles Dorito's delivery
man with his freakishly huge earlobe.
10:10AM - Flips off store's assistant manager with his freakishly huge
middle finger when ordered to rotate stock of Rice-a-Roni. (The San
Francisco treat.)
12:05PM - Goes to school playground during recess. Frightens neighborhood
schoolchildren with his freakishly huge elbow.
12:50PM - Bags seventeen packages of Double-Stuff Oreo's for Gene Simmons.
Tries to convince Gene he was once a member of the band Kiss. Manager pulls
him off bag duty.
1:26PM - Watches in amazement as a chimpanzee, wearing an amazingly familiar
leopard-print leotard, purchases: A microwaveable Lean Cuisine
Macaroni-n-cheese dinner, a can of VanCamp's Beanie Weenies, a 2 liter of
cherry Cola, a lawn chair, a disposable douche and a 'Terms of Endearment'
DVD .
3:30PM - Tries to convince a group of teenage metalheads standing in the
magazine aisle that he was once a member of Kiss. They make fun of his
freakishly huge right butt cheek.
4:10PM - Stuffs an entire tube of Liverwurst into his freakishly huge mouth
when store manager isn't looking.
4:46PM - Frightens neighborhood schoolchildren walking home from school with
his freakishly huge right ankle.
7:05PM - Reduces depressive moods. Reduces tension. Lightens moods.
(OH! SORRY! THAT'S ST. JOHN'S WORT!! MY MISTAKE!!)
8:00PM - Logs onto KissOnline. Tries to convince everyone that he was once a
member of the band Kiss. Has trouble typing with his freakishly huge index
finger.
8:30PM - Tries to convince a strangely familiar Domino's pizza delivery guy
with poorly conditioned hair and an anhk that he was once a member of the
band Kiss.
9:00PM - Calls Domino's to complain that his crazy bread appears to be
moist. Nearly loses phone receiver in his freakishly huge left ear.
9:18PM - Logs onto Kiss Asylum, tries to convince Chris that he was once a
member of the band Kiss. Gets booted off the Asylum for a month.
10:30PM - Watches VH-1's KISS special "Behind the Make-Up". Kicks television
set with his freakishly huge foot when the show glosses over the entire year
of 1984.
11:30PM - Peers into window of 86yr old neighbor. Frightens her with his
freakishly huge eyebrow.
11:45PM - Arrested by Van Nuys Police Department. They have difficulty
getting handcuffs on his freakishly huge wrists. They pummel him mercilessly
with batons for trying to convince them that he was once a member of the
band Kiss.
A Day in the Life of Tommy Thayer:
5:15AM - Wakes up in one room apartment in East L.A. Pedals beat up Schwinn
into Beverly Hills. Wakes up Gene Simmons with a soft and tender, "Gene,
Sweetie. Time to get up." Receives butt grab.
5:55AM - Pedals beat up Schwinn several blocks over. Wakes up Paul Stanley
with a soft and tender, "Paul, Honey. Time to get up." Receives butt grab.
6:02AM - Pedals beat up Schwinn across country (not unlike Forrest Gump) to
Connecticut. Wakes up an inebriated Ace Frehley by banging a soup pot with a
ladel, shouting: "Yo! Wakey! Wakey! You sumbitch! Get yer' ass outta bed you
lazy loaf!!" Receives butt grab.
7:10AM - Impersonates Nikki Sixx for Motley Crue. Fans not informed.
8:11AM - Pedals beat up Schwinn over to Peter Criss' house. Has to run
serpentine across lawn in order to avoid gunfire coming from house. Gives up
when stray bullet knicks his kneecap.
9:32AM - Impersonates Joe Perry for Aerosmith. Fans not informed.
10:10AM - Returns to Simmons household. Give Gene daily sponge bath.
Receives butt grab.
11:54AM - Returns to Stanley residence. Vacuums living room and den. Takes
chimpanzee to see new Star Wars film. Has to pay for snacks.
3:30PM - Impersonates Vinnie Vincent for Vinnie Vincent Invasion. Fans do
not care.
4:00PM - Calls McFarlane toys demanding to know when official Tommy Thayer
action figure will be released. Is put on indefinite hold. Listens to cheesy
Hawaiian muzak.
4:40PM - Receives call from hysterical Paul Stanley. Is sent to Home Depot
to purchase 18 trays of new azalea plants.
5:10PM - Impersonates Charlotte Caffey (in full drag) for the Go-Go's. Fans
not informed.
6:03PM - Helps Paul Stanley replant azalea bushes. Gets repeatedly squirted
with garden hose by chimpanzee.
7:30PM - Returns to Casa del Simmons. Prepares dinner: Fajitas (kosher),
lemon chicken, noodles, twice baked potatoes, calamari rings, triple cheese
pizza with pepperoni, mushrooms, sausage and anchovies (kosher), quintuple
layer chocolate cake and cookies which Paul Stanley asked be delivered.
Receives butt grab from Nicholas.
7:45 - Impersonates Michael Nesmith for the Monkees at Milwaukee County
Fair. Fans riot and storm the stage. (Peter Tork narrowly escapes.)
8:00PM - Logs onto KissOnline. Cries violently upon seeing photos of
original band on main page. Throws temper tantrum and threatens to hold
breath till he turns blue. No one is in room to hear threat.
8:30PM - Impersonates Zakk Wylde for Ozzy Osbourne. Fans not informed.
9:18PM - Logs onto Kiss Asylum as Uncle Entity. (No bullshits.)
10:30PM - Watches VH-1's KISS special "Behind the Make-Up". Throws temper
tantrums whenever Ace Frehley is pictured.
11:30PM - Impersonates Jimi Hendrix. Chased out of venue by audience who
believe that the dead have risen from their graves and are walking the
earth. Narrowly escapes.
12:02AM - Tucks in Gene Simmons, along with his Spencer's Demon teddybear,
into bed. Gives him soft and gentle kiss on nose. Turns on official Kiss
nitelite. Receives butt grab.
12:22AM - Tucks in Paul Stanley, along with his Spencer's Starchild
teddybear, into bed. Gives him soft and gentle kiss on nose. Turns on
official Kiss nitelite. Receives butt grab.
"Killer Rabbit" <killer.rabb...@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:sXbba.11932$qB5....@nwrddc01.gnilink.net...
KISSFAQ
"Byron Fogle" <byro...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:vN2dndIbQ_0...@comcast.com...
Byron Fogle
yeah if only I could remember his name
you know who else I miss who posted some funny shit Rich Hund
"KISSFAQ" <webm...@kissfaq.com> wrote in message
news:Irdba.741$MH7.78...@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com...
Dom
FACT!!!!
Uncle Entity ruled! I loved that signature. If I had a penny for
everytime someone tried to correct him on the Kiss "Umplugged" !!!
LMAO!
>
> "Byron Fogle" <byro...@comcast.net> wrote in message
> news:vN2dndIbQ_0...@comcast.com...
> > you mean this...LOL
> > they were so good I had to keep them....I wish I could remember the guy's
> > screename who wrote em so I could give him props....
> > any old Asylum BBS'ers here know??
Gromit was the man! All of those ruled!!
Byron Fogle
Nicod...ahem, I mean Dom to the rescue!
"Dom" <Domenick...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:6b4cec7f.03031...@posting.google.com...
Pyro Messiah
scribbled:
Reading all of this makes me realize just how much I miss that board.
I didn't post there often, I was more of a lurker. But it was a great
community there, where *gasp* many of the people got along.
_________________________________________
Pyro Messiah - The Vinnie Vincent Tribute
http://members.tripod.com/pyromessiah
Dom
richs...@gmail.com
Tim Tech has no one to blame but himself for having a family and not being able to support them. Wear a goddamn condom if you are worried you can't pay for kids because they've never EVER been free! Go to college and learn some skills and stop counting on one company to take care of you forever, because that's a lie. He's a redneck entitled idiot that got some justice shoved up his ass. He deserved it. That's life. If you're a woman in Virginia, you'll go through much much MUCH worse even if you have a clearance and multiple degrees.
Tim's a pussy. He can fuck off.