OT: Where to Find a Massage Place With a Happy Ending?

[Datesfat Chicks]

Because of the level of moral turpitude on this list, I knew this
would be the right place to ask.

Craigslist, unfortunately, did away with the "adult services" section
because certain prosecutors believed it was just repackaged
prostitution. Duh ... that was the point.

So, it is harder and harder to go through Craigslist ads to figure out
what they really mean.

One chick offering massages indicates she doesn't do sexual favors.
That means either she doesn't or else she does and is posturing so the
cops are less likely to investigate her. I don't know which.

Anyway, I'm bored and would like to find a place that does massages
with happy endings. I've never done that, and would like to try it
once.

What would be my most reliable way to find such a place or person?

I could just sequentially go to a bunch of massage places and wait
until the offer is made (which probably wouldn't take long), but maybe
there is a systematic way to hit paydirt on the first try.

Thoughts on how to do the search?

Thanks for any insight into this industry,
DFC

[Peter]

Taxi drivers would know!
Ask them if they can take you to one.
If no luck, try again.

(I have no idea of your location and related laws)

--
:-P

[Datesfat Chicks]

According to the websites I can find, every massage parlor does happy
endings. It looks like a pretty seedy business.

I did find this page, which surprised me.

http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2009/04/my-awkward-sexual-experience-i.html

I didn't know that happy endings came in two flavors.

DFC

[CS]

"Datesfat Chicks" wrote in message
news:lse5f7dsi8v67m4ga...@4ax.com...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know what sites you've been going to, but they don't all do it.

Most do.

Try www.backpage.com. It's the new Craigslist for prostitution.

I don't know what happens after the initial offering. You'll get a massage
of variable quality, then she'll give a hint, which could be anything from
nodding to your rig and raising an eyebrow to grabbing your stuff, and
presumably you barter for the "tip", which I'm told averages $40 for a hand
job to $100 for sex, depending on what they offer and how much they think
they're twats are worth.

Frankly I don't get it. While I might get a little excited during a
massage, the thought of some strange chick yanking Big Red and whatnot,
well, it just doesn't do it for me. I avoid those places, because I know a
long line of guys just spilled their manchowder all over the place
previously. I'm a bit iffy with germs and strangers' bodily fluids...even
the gym creeps me out.

With a real, quality massage, I don't even get excited, because having an
elbow rammed into sore muscles isn't very romantic to me. With these
joints, most chicks just kinda push your flesh around until you get bored or
annoyed.

CS

[Datesfat Chicks]

On Wed, 21 Dec 2011 21:30:38 -0800, "CS" <dont...@sears.com> wrote:
>
>Frankly I don't get it. While I might get a little excited during a
>massage, the thought of some strange chick yanking Big Red and whatnot,
>well, it just doesn't do it for me.

I was just stating that I'd never done that before and might like to
try it once. I wasn't stating that it was to become a way of life for
me.

I'm like you. I prefer to know my sex partners. I also prefer to
actually like them.

>I avoid those places, because I know a
>long line of guys just spilled their manchowder all over the place
>previously. I'm a bit iffy with germs and strangers' bodily fluids...even
>the gym creeps me out.

Thanks for teaching me a new synonym for semen. Manchowder. That one
is a vocabulary builder.

I agree with you, but for reasons of microbiology rather than yuk
factor.

I would accept a handjob in a place like that, but yeah I don't think
it would be a good place to walk around barefoot or eat off the floor.

>With a real, quality massage, I don't even get excited, because having an
>elbow rammed into sore muscles isn't very romantic to me. With these
>joints, most chicks just kinda push your flesh around until you get bored or
>annoyed.

Interesting. So a "massage parlor" is not that much about massages,
at least not the open-handed types. Interesting.

DFC

[?]

On Dec 22, 8:08 am, Datesfat Chicks <datesfat.chi...@gmail.com> wrote:

> I would accept a handjob in a place like that, but yeah I don't think
> it would be a good place to walk around barefoot or eat off the floor.

The only guy I knew that ever died of AIDS was a frequenter of massage
parlors and other *seedy* locations where people met for anonymous
sex.

When he found out he was going to *die* he "accepted the lord as his
savior" and repented his sinful ways.

Didn't do him much good, he looked *terrible* during his final few
months.

He was found dead on his knees beside his bed, in an attitude of
prayer.

At the funeral, the pastor said that the deceased was the sort of
person who, if he knew something about somebody, he would never tell.

I took that to mean that the deceased had been "getting it on" with
the preacher, too.

The kind of people who advertise for "hookups" and "adult services" on
craigslists are amoral and immoral dopers and lowlifes and you'll
catch what they're infected with if you mess with them.

My advice to you is to tug on yourself or stay horny, my friend.

[CS]

"Datesfat Chicks" wrote in message

news:m1l6f7l8qh0hpmlc9...@4ax.com...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some are legit.

After my health insurance stopped covering my real therapist, I went in
search of a good masseuse that was also cheap. There are plenty of them
around here, and I've been to most of them.

Four are legit, four not-legit places give good massages, and of the four
legit ones, two are good enough for my repeat business.

I wouldn't mind the handjob places except for the whole worrying about stray
Mayonnaise Marines thing. (there's another term...I've got a whole library
of filth) Forget about walking around barefoot, you are lying naked on a
table of questionable sanitation.

One place with Korean ladies tried the HJ thing, turned them down, and as I
finished getting dressed, she comes in, picks up the folded towel around the
face hole, sniffs it, then lays it back down for another round. She set
everything up for the next guy, and didn't even replace the cover on the
table.

When I think about that, I feel a surge of pride that I didn't puke hard
enough to turn myself inside out. I went home and scrubbed myself raw in
the shower...good thing I didn't have any spare battery acid around.

I'm not trying to discourage you. If you want some funnin, go for it. Just
don't make the first move. Let her do all the talking and make all the
offers. As a customer you aren't expected to know all the laws regarding
massage parlors, so ignorance is your friend. And don't go shopping for a
place near election time, as some DA's like to show how tough they are on
crime by raiding rub-n-tugs...they're easy, safe targets for law enforcement
and politicians.

Bring the door fee, usually $40 to $60, an extra $40 for the tip, and
nothing else, and don't do credit cards.

CS

[stephenh...@gmail.com]

hey thanks for all the post and information to consider

[Vito]

On Thu, 21 Apr 2016 23:08:48 -0700 (PDT), stephenh...@gmail.com
wrote:

>On Thursday, December 22, 2011 at 8:23:10 PM UTC-8, CS wrote:
>> "Datesfat Chicks" wrote in message
>> news:m1l6f7l8qh0hpmlc9...@4ax.com...
>>
>> On Wed, 21 Dec 2011 21:30:38 -0800, "CS" <dont...@sears.com> wrote:
>> >

Errrr ... Steve - are you aware that you are replying to a five year
old post. We haven't headr from CS or Dates for a long long time.

[seanq...@gmail.com]

On Friday, 22 April 2016 00:28:25 UTC-6, Vito wrote:
> Errrr ... Steve - are you aware that you are replying to a five year
> old post. We haven't headr from CS or Dates for a long long time.

I was wondering what became of DFC. Maybe he found some voluptuous
babe outside his 100-mile-from-Marshall-Michigan exclusion radius
and shacked up (maintaining strict anonymity of course).

SQ

[catdog...@gmail.com]