GPGPSPSS Prod Eval -Long

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Redbeard Emeritus

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Jan 15, 2001, 9:46:52 PM1/15/01
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Well, I got me one of them GeneralPurposeGas/Piss/Shit/PoseySniff
Scheduler (GPGPSPSS) thingies, so I figured I'd report on how it
performed. There are some aftermarket products now on the market
with significantly inferior features and thus named simply GPS, but
mine was original equipment (albeit quite a number of years ago),
with far more features than these; *this* will be the subject of my
report.

I actually had occasion to put the GPGPSPSS to use on Friday, when I
headed down to the big City to hook up with Darcy Hager of Edmonton
fame. Had I but consulted my GPGPSPSS in advance, it would have told
me to stay in Tracy that night rather than ride across the state, do
an eyeball, come back all the way across to m' humble abode and
*then* head back halfway back toward the Pacific to begin m' sojourn
south the next morning. But sometimes these things happen, even with
a GPGPSPSS at yer disposal. (The report of the most excellent Fri
hang will have to await another post at another time, unless someone
else beats me to it.)

So Saturday am I roll the bike out of the garage and as I'm movin it
to the driveway to pack 'er up, the radio's tuned to a (semi)local
oldies station, and it's playin one of the great old CCR tunes.
Don't even remember which one, but it put a smile on my face, so I
left it playin. It segway'd *directly* into "Born to be Wild," and I
just knew this was an omen of great things to come.

So I checked the GPGPSPSS and it cautioned me that I had less gas in
the tank than would get me to the next station in Lockeford.... so I
bought gas on the way out of town. Headed down 88, a perfectly
decent 2-lane, and didn't even see any cops, actually a rare
happenstance. As I rolled thru Lockeford, I realized I was facing a
momentous decision. I could roll straight ahead toward Stockton, and
face the prospect of inadvertantly heading into Lodi. But in every
past instance, when I rolled into Lodi, I was able to roll right back
out. And not wanting to tempt fate this day...

I checked the GPGPSPSS. It told me to turn south on Jack Tone Road.
Which I did. A long monotonous 2-lane down the valley to Modesto.
But it did steer me clear of Lodi. At Modesto, with the help of sed
GPGPSPSS, I pointed the sled south on 99, in the direction of
FuckinBakersfield.

BTW, speakin of FuckinBakersfield, I looked it up in my Atlas. Would
you believe it's under the "B"s? I hafta wonder how them GPS
thingies would work? Would they find FuckinBakersfield in the "B"s?

At various points I suspected I needed gas/piss/shit (or snack) or
whatever...

So I checked the GPGPSPSS. And lo and behold, there was a gas
station / truck stop / whatever to accommodate my every need. Well,
my objective heading south was to make good time, get into
Bakersfield by midafternoon, and veg out for awhile before the night
on the town. And that's exactly the way it played out. Shirley
enuf, and just as my GPGPSPSS advised, I rolled in midafternoon. Now
I needed a place for the night. And I don't like scuzz, I don't like
food/lodging chains, and I don't like payin thru the nose for a room.

So I checked the GPGPSPSS. And lo and behold, there was an
interesting motel beside the freeway. SportsBar and restaurant
adjacent. Very nice pool and hot tub (love them hot tubs.) And
several notches above scuzzy. It used to be a Ramada; will soon be a
Red Lion. In the meantime, since the room doors need paint and the
hallways would benefit from new carpets, the price was the same as
the nearby Motel 6, but they had them little shampoo bottles in the
bath and the aforementioned hot tub. And did I mention the
(included) full hot breakfast? With aid of the GPGPSPSS, I made my
way to a most fine dinner, and then somehow, (naaa, not somehow, not
miraculously, but rather with the aid of the GPGPSPSS, I found my way
to the main purpose for my journey south: the venue for the
performance of Banu Gibson and the New Orleans Hot Jazz Band, from
the city of their name.

Settled in for a most excellent evening of music. Now by my good
fortune, it seems that the most lovely Banu and her band were hangin
later that eve at a late evening lounge in town. A town I don't know
for shit...

So I checked the GPGPSPSS (and asked the folks selling refreshments
at the performance) and found m'self to the lounge. And hung out
with the performers of the evening. It even appears that Banu
recognized me from previous engagements, groupie that I am. (Either
that or she didn't want me to hurt her.) All too soon, the evening
was over and I needed to figure out how to get back to the motel.

So I checked the GPGPSPSS. And lo and behold, it was only a mile or
so away. A fine night's sleep and hearty breakfast, and I was good
to go, after checking the early game and discovering it was over in
the first 5 minutes. One less thing to worry about that day. I had
to find my way 1/4 mile to the freeway and then north...

So I checked the GPGPSPSS. And lo and behold, there it was. But
this was not to be a day on the slab. Less than 5 miles north, with
the aid of th' trusty GPGPSPSS, I found a 2-lane to Porterville. And
exited the slab and found m' way all the way home on backroads.

Ok, truth be told, both Porterville and Visalia apparently decided
that they were impo'tant enuf to have slabs thru their towns. So
they put 'em in. (Didn't help IMSFHO.) But aside from that, it was
2-lanes all the way.

The first leg was pretty mundane. In fact, if ya flattened out the
tiny rolling hills and removed most of the sagebrush (but kept the
oil pumps) you could think -- very briefly -- that you were in W.Tx.
But it doesn't go on for 3 days, and it doesn't really really stink.

As I rolled thru Visalia, some dood decided to morph with me. He
figured he and I didn't need 2 lanes and he'd see if we could make
ourselves smaller. Now, I kinda like things just the way they are,
and didn't wanna morph with him, esp if he wasn't gonna improve his
driving skills. So I dodged him to the left (as he moved into the
left lane), fell around behind him and pulled up on the right (where
he had begun. We hit a light and I advised him he was one dumb fuck
who outta chose a lane and stick with it and at least look before
trying to take out whoever's in the other lane. He sat there with
his thumb up his butt, clearly wondering WTF the dood in the next
lane is yellin about. North of Visalia, the roads get more
interesting (and definitely harder to follow).

So I checked the GPGPSPSS, and took this one west and that one north
and then finally the ones that twist around so much you really don't
know which way yer headed. Esp. since there was (low) cloud cover,
with concomitant chill and lack of direction finder overhead.

Butt, I checked the GPGPSPSS and not only found my way north,
skirting Fresno altogether, but rolled up on Sherry's Bar. One more
check of the GPGPSPSS and I confirmed yes, indeedie, I should stop.

Grabbed a cold one and caressed the mug to warm up my freezing hands;
hung out for awhile to (regretably) watch the Raiders get their
collective clocks get cleaned. Also got invited to a Valley HA
openhouse in a week or 2. Well, 'twas time to go...

So I checked the GPGPSPSS and pointed the sled toward Oakhurst on
Hiway 41. By the time I got there, it was pretty cold, with only an
hour or so left of daylight (and several hours to home) and it was
actually starting to rain. Uggg! Chill. Cold and wet. So, what's
a body to do? Hadda get home.

So I checked the GPGPSPSS. It sed: get a rooom in Oakhurst. I sed:
what about lookin after the dog? It sed, have the neighbors do it,
like yesterday. I sed, fine, will you call 'em? It said, hell no!
So I called the neighbors. And got a room. With an indoor pool and
hottub. And restaurant and bar on the premises. At about the rate
at a Motel 6. Another mighty fine day, albeit short. Next day came
soon enuf (but none too early) and 'twas time to get serious for the
last leg home. Couldda turned either way leaving the motel. One way
wouldda been straight up 49 (heh, that's funny, for any who know 49)
to my street, about 140 miles north. Other way was thru Yosemite.
Sounded cold. Magnificantly beautiful. But cold.

So I checked the GPGPSPSS. And when the bike left the motel, it
turned onto 49. Needed a breakfast stop. Managed to find one. A
most excellent one. Needed several other stops along the way, to cut
the chill. Found 'em. (But unfortunately, m' favorite waterin hole
along this stretch, in Coulterville, was closed. GPGPSPSS led me
astray here -- for all of 200 feet.)

That southern stretch of 49 is absolutely incredible. Especially
just south of McClure Lake. The hills got despoiled a few years ago
by a fire, but a finer riding road you'll very rarely, if ever, find
(if ya overlook the loose sand). Esp. on a winter weekday, with
essentiall no traffic at all. And narry a cop.

Stopped in Jamestown, at the National Hotel, and topped up m' fluids
and cut the chill. Again in San Andreas, at Black Bart's. Before
long (having figured out how to turn a 5 hour trip home on the slab
into a 2-day adventure), I was rollin back into Jackson. But wasn't
quite ready to turn up m' street.

So I checked the GPGPSPSS. And headed to Mel and Faye's Diner here
in town. Yup. Turned out that m' fluids were indeed, again, low.
(BTW, there are many riders/bikers for miles around here that swear
Mel's has the best hamburgers in the region.) Finally, I couldn't
ignore the reality any longer.

So I checked the GPGPSPSS. And would you believe it led me right to
m' driveway. Simply amazing. No other word for it.

Now I should advise that there's another word commonly used for these
GPGPSPSS contraptions: nose. And it works most excellently. Maybe
in some future generation of their evolution, them GPS thingies might
approximate the usefulness of yer nose. But not anytime soon.

--
Redbeard Emeritus "The Dirt Devil, with a built-in Crevice Tool" (c)
#92, th' Jackson 'Hole -- if ya *won't* lick 'em, join 'em; BS28


Dennis Peterson

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Jan 15, 2001, 9:50:57 PM1/15/01
to
Redbeard Emeritus wrote:
>
> Well, I got me one of them GeneralPurposeGas/Piss/Shit/PoseySniff
> Scheduler (GPGPSPSS) thingies, so I figured I'd report on how it
> performed. There are some aftermarket products now on the market
> with significantly inferior features and thus named simply GPS, but
> mine was original equipment (albeit quite a number of years ago),
> with far more features than these; *this* will be the subject of my
> report.
>


[schnipp]

>
> Now I should advise that there's another word commonly used for these
> GPGPSPSS contraptions: nose. And it works most excellently. Maybe
> in some future generation of their evolution, them GPS thingies might
> approximate the usefulness of yer nose. But not anytime soon.
>
> --
> Redbeard Emeritus "The Dirt Devil, with a built-in Crevice Tool" (c)
> #92, th' Jackson 'Hole -- if ya *won't* lick 'em, join 'em; BS28

Oh, baby, this one's a keeper!

dp -- BS#3, LF#27, AH#95

Papaboop

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Jan 15, 2001, 10:52:06 PM1/15/01
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"Redbeard Emeritus" <redb...@volcano.net> wrote in message
news:kbd76too47gb5uosq...@4ax.com...

> Well, I got me one of them GeneralPurposeGas/Piss/Shit/PoseySniff
> Scheduler (GPGPSPSS) thingies, so I figured I'd report on how it
> performed. There are some aftermarket products now on the market
> with significantly inferior features and thus named simply GPS, but
> mine was original equipment (albeit quite a number of years ago),
> with far more features than these; *this* will be the subject of my
> report.

<snip>

'' I found my way


> to the main purpose for my journey south: the venue for the
> performance of Banu Gibson and the New Orleans Hot Jazz Band, from
> the city of their name.


Thank God you clarified the reason you went to Fuckin'Bakersfield, I was
thinkin' you might be a tad daft. Course you might have been goin' to visit
Merle Haggard?

<more snippage>

> Now I should advise that there's another word commonly used for these
> GPGPSPSS contraptions: nose. And it works most excellently. Maybe
> in some future generation of their evolution, them GPS thingies might
> approximate the usefulness of yer nose. But not anytime soon.

With a nose my size, it'll be awhile before one o' them new fangled gadgets
can come close it's functionality!

Thanx for the treat.


>
> --
> Redbeard Emeritus "The Dirt Devil, with a built-in Crevice Tool" (c)
> #92, th' Jackson 'Hole -- if ya *won't* lick 'em, join 'em; BS28


--
--
Papaboop
http://papaboop.com/


Dennis Peterson

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Jan 15, 2001, 10:50:57 PM1/15/01
to
Redbeard Emeritus wrote:
>
[whackage]

>
> --
> Redbeard Emeritus "The Dirt Devil, with a built-in Crevice Tool" (c)
> #92, th' Jackson 'Hole -- if ya *won't* lick 'em, join 'em; BS28

Woo hoo hooo! I found a pic of you calibrating your GPGPSPSS sensor!

http://www.dvds4less.com/~dennisp/rtts2000.html

Dennis Peterson

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Jan 15, 2001, 11:10:41 PM1/15/01
to

Well buggering hell - so much for cut and paste - take II:
http://www.dvds4less.com/~dennisp/mvc-486f.jpg

Redbeard Emeritus

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Jan 16, 2001, 12:54:00 AM1/16/01
to
On Mon, 15 Jan 2001 20:10:41 -0800, Dennis Peterson
<dpet...@halcyon.com> wrote:

>Dennis Peterson wrote:
>>
>> Redbeard Emeritus wrote:
>> >
>> [whackage]

>> Woo hoo hooo! I found a pic of you calibrating your GPGPSPSS sensor!

>http://www.dvds4less.com/~dennisp/mvc-486f.jpg

IIRC, the caption for that pic was, "Steph, have I told ya (lately)
what I think of them fuckin GPS gizmos?"

--
R.E. #92 DOF#1 BC#1

StephG

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Jan 16, 2001, 2:23:37 AM1/16/01
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Redbeard Emeritus <redb...@volcano.net> hammered out
<kbd76too47gb5uosq...@4ax.com>:

>Now I should advise that there's another word commonly used for these
>GPGPSPSS contraptions: nose. And it works most excellently. Maybe
>in some future generation of their evolution, them GPS thingies might
>approximate the usefulness of yer nose. But not anytime soon.

When riding by the Harris Ranch or anywhere on 50/54/56 in Kansas, I've
sometimes wished I'd left my GPGPSPSS at home ;)

--
======================================================================
Steph Greenberg
BS#30
======================================================================

73sportster

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Jan 16, 2001, 7:36:57 AM1/16/01
to
in article kbd76too47gb5uosq...@4ax.com, Redbeard Emeritus at
redb...@volcano.net wrote on 1/15/01 9:46 PM:

> Well, I got me one of them GeneralPurposeGas/Piss/Shit/PoseySniff
> Scheduler (GPGPSPSS) thingies, so I figured I'd report on how it
> performed. There are some aftermarket products now on the market
> with significantly inferior features and thus named simply GPS, but
> mine was original equipment (albeit quite a number of years ago),
> with far more features than these; *this* will be the subject of my
> report.
>

<Really big snip>


>
> So I checked the GPGPSPSS. And headed to Mel and Faye's Diner here
> in town. Yup. Turned out that m' fluids were indeed, again, low.
> (BTW, there are many riders/bikers for miles around here that swear
> Mel's has the best hamburgers in the region.) Finally, I couldn't
> ignore the reality any longer.
>
> So I checked the GPGPSPSS. And would you believe it led me right to
> m' driveway. Simply amazing. No other word for it.
>
> Now I should advise that there's another word commonly used for these
> GPGPSPSS contraptions: nose. And it works most excellently. Maybe
> in some future generation of their evolution, them GPS thingies might
> approximate the usefulness of yer nose. But not anytime soon.
>
> --
> Redbeard Emeritus "The Dirt Devil, with a built-in Crevice Tool" (c)
> #92, th' Jackson 'Hole -- if ya *won't* lick 'em, join 'em; BS28
>
>

Pools, hot tubs, food and bars. I can see where your priorities lie, lol
Great read!
--
Rosie

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

Redbeard Emeritus

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Jan 16, 2001, 10:01:51 AM1/16/01
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On Tue, 16 Jan 2001 07:23:37 GMT, steph...@my-deja.com (StephG)
wrote:

>Redbeard Emeritus <redb...@volcano.net> hammered out
><kbd76too47gb5uosq...@4ax.com>:

>When riding by the Harris Ranch or anywhere on 50/54/56 in Kansas, I've

>sometimes wished I'd left my GPGPSPSS at home ;)

Yeah. That Harris Ranch does go on and on. Damn hard to hold yer
breath that long. There's several (smaller) stockyards along 99. One
of the more boggling sights on the way south, Saturday: 2 RVs parked
along the side of the freeway, looked like a lunch stop. Immediately
downwind of one of them stockyards. Couldn't hardly believe m' eyes.

--
R.E. #92 DOF#1 BC#1 maybe they were havin probs; talk about bad luck

Redbeard Emeritus

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Jan 16, 2001, 10:05:07 AM1/16/01
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On Tue, 16 Jan 2001 12:36:57 GMT, 73sportster
<73spo...@address.com> wrote:

>Pools, hot tubs, food and bars. I can see where your priorities lie, lol

Hell with the pool. And truth be known, food's not that much of a
priority for me either.

>Great read!

Thanks. The trip was even better. Even to FuckinBakersfield.

hawgeye

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Jan 16, 2001, 12:20:59 PM1/16/01
to
"Redbeard Emeritus" wrote...

> Well, I got me one of them GeneralPurposeGas/Piss/Shit/PoseySniff
> Scheduler (GPGPSPSS) thingies, so I figured I'd report on how it
> performed. There are some aftermarket products now on the market
> with significantly inferior features and thus named simply GPS, but
> mine was original equipment (albeit quite a number of years ago),
> with far more features than these; *this* will be the subject of my
> report.

snip

> So I checked the GPGPSPSS. And would you believe it led me right to
> m' driveway. Simply amazing. No other word for it.
>
> Now I should advise that there's another word commonly used for these
> GPGPSPSS contraptions: nose. And it works most excellently. Maybe
> in some future generation of their evolution, them GPS thingies might
> approximate the usefulness of yer nose. But not anytime soon.
>
> --
> Redbeard Emeritus "The Dirt Devil, with a built-in Crevice Tool" (c)
> #92, th' Jackson 'Hole -- if ya *won't* lick 'em, join 'em; BS28

Ya got my vote for "High-tech Redneck" poster child.


--
hawgeye ... checking to see if the light stays on in my fridge.
AH#96 BS#98 CTNS SENS
Stealers/Dealers page: http://www.hawgeye.com/sd.htm
rmh FAQ: http://home.earthlink.net/~mildness/yo/frames/faqv2frm.html

StephG

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Jan 16, 2001, 2:32:03 PM1/16/01
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In article <1eo86to323srt734u...@4ax.com>,

Redbeard Emeritus <redb...@volcano.net> wrote:
> Yeah. That Harris Ranch does go on and on. Damn hard to hold yer
> breath that long. There's several (smaller) stockyards along 99. One
> of the more boggling sights on the way south, Saturday: 2 RVs parked
> along the side of the freeway, looked like a lunch stop. Immediately
> downwind of one of them stockyards. Couldn't hardly believe m' eyes.

Probably because they were watering ;)

--
--------------------------------------------------------------
Steph Greenberg BS#30
--------------------------------------------------------------


Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/

Judy Fearn

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Jan 16, 2001, 3:10:44 PM1/16/01
to
Redbeard Emeritus wrote:
>
> Well, I got me one of them GeneralPurposeGas/Piss/Shit/PoseySniff
> Scheduler (GPGPSPSS) thingies, so I figured I'd report on how it
> performed. There are some aftermarket products now on the market
> with significantly inferior features and thus named simply GPS, but
> mine was original equipment (albeit quite a number of years ago),
> with far more features than these; *this* will be the subject of my
> report.

<large snip>

Uh...isn't it time for you to go for a ride or sumthin?

Sparky
#48
ducking and running, as usual

Redbeard Emeritus

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Jan 16, 2001, 3:33:35 PM1/16/01
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On Wed, 17 Jan 2001 12:20:21 -0800, "MIKE KELLEY" <@thegrid.net>
wrote:

>"Gentleman" Dave BS 100 (soon to be employed)
>btw fuck you Redbeard

About to be employed? I'll reserve my: BTW fuck you GD. You're
about to face punishment enuf.

Redbeard Emeritus

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Jan 16, 2001, 3:35:26 PM1/16/01
to

Yeah. Shirley. (Always.)

Tony

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Jan 16, 2001, 5:01:32 PM1/16/01
to


Sorry to hear you have this particular model. If you had instead
purchased a Garmin GPS and tied it into a handheld computer (must be
running micro$oft CE, a palm job will be out shortly) with a cellular
telephone interface, there is a program that allows the computer to
dial all your buddies riding with you (adjustable from every minute to
every 10 minutes) and display their locations on your map as well. Of
course, they must also be equipped with this excellent technology.
This way when one of you gets lost, the others can all stop and go
back to the wayward straggler, or the straggler can enter a code into
the computer to let his buddies know that he has simply stopped at a
bar for some libations. A great thing about this configuration is
that it is completely portable, and can be taken in the bar, in your
pocket so that it is out of the way, and your friends can locate you
within 5 feet of your bar stool.

Another neat feature is that by connecting a Harley bank angle sensor
to the bi-directional parallel port of the computer, it can also
notify your friends when you have fallen off the bar stool! Ain't
that great? You no longer have to lay there on the floor and wait for
a stranger to help you up, your buddies can come back and do it for
you without undue embarrassment!

Just thought you'd like to know about this wonderful new application
of technology!

Tony - Geezerglide - BS#45 - biting his tongue and snickering

Redbeard Emeritus

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Jan 16, 2001, 5:12:57 PM1/16/01
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On Tue, 16 Jan 2001 14:01:32 -0800, Tony <tdo...@pacbell.net> wrote:

>On Tue, 16 Jan 2001 12:35:26 -0800, Redbeard Emeritus
><redb...@volcano.net> wrote:

>>>> Well, I got me one of them GeneralPurposeGas/Piss/Shit/PoseySniff
>>>> Scheduler (GPGPSPSS) thingies,

>Sorry to hear you have this particular model. If you had instead


>purchased a Garmin GPS and tied it into a handheld computer (must be
>running micro$oft CE, a palm job will be out shortly) with a cellular
>telephone interface, there is a program that allows the computer to
>dial all your buddies riding with you (adjustable from every minute to
>every 10 minutes) and display their locations on your map as well. Of
>course, they must also be equipped with this excellent technology.
>This way when one of you gets lost, the others can all stop and go
>back to the wayward straggler, or the straggler can enter a code into
>the computer to let his buddies know that he has simply stopped at a
>bar for some libations. A great thing about this configuration is
>that it is completely portable, and can be taken in the bar, in your
>pocket so that it is out of the way, and your friends can locate you
>within 5 feet of your bar stool.
>
>Another neat feature is that by connecting a Harley bank angle sensor
>to the bi-directional parallel port of the computer, it can also
>notify your friends when you have fallen off the bar stool! Ain't
>that great? You no longer have to lay there on the floor and wait for
>a stranger to help you up, your buddies can come back and do it for
>you without undue embarrassment!
>
>Just thought you'd like to know about this wonderful new application
>of technology!
>
>Tony - Geezerglide - BS#45 - biting his tongue and snickering

Doesn't sound like something I need, but plz pass it on to dbh and
Papaboop. I think they're plannin on hookin up out there in the great
vast west this summer. The way I figure it, if they get suitable
equip, they can collide before they realize they're in the same state.

Redbeard Emeritus

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Jan 17, 2001, 8:22:54 PM1/17/01
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On Tue, 16 Jan 2001 16:44:03 -0500, Steve Tuttle
<st...@dweebspam.mv.com> wrote:

>Redbeard Emeritus <redb...@volcano.net> wrote:
>
>:Well, I got me one of them GeneralPurposeGas/Piss/Shit/PoseySniff

>:Scheduler (GPGPSPSS) thingies, so I figured I'd report on how it
>:performed.
>

>How do you see one of those thingys through your beard?

Hey Teach,

Methinks if you got a response like that, you might ask a followup
question to confirm comprehension. [sfsf]

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