Naturally, the most important mission at the present time is to get a
better name, which isn't usually the case with mission statements, but
then again most mission statements don't have be inclusive of a
certain group of beings who shall remain nameless but happen to
inhabit the vicinity of 47 Tuc. (It's a long story.) But then right
after that, the mission statement continues on to promote excellence,
innovation, and creativity in juggling and related arts, in this the
third spiral arm and the SMC, as you might expect. To which end, the
said unnamed beings are fully along with, I might add.
The rules are much as you might expect, except for the usual and fully
expectable issues regarding comparison of records when local g changes
as a result of planetary motion in double- and triple-planet
situations, clarifying how "high" a throw is when it's thrown
horizontally but in an orbital trajectory (and so taking a relatively
long time to return compared to upward throws which actually go to a
greater altitude), the usual questions of simultaneity in relativistic
inter-system competitions, and of course whether it's "fair" to cause
a star to exhibit a nova during a combat session so as to gain
advantage. (No, but don't tell that to the Ophiuchuans, who repeatedly
get suspensions for exactly that.)
Then there are the more arcane issues like recognizing manipulation of
internal organs, embryos and fluids in difficult ways, but which
require certain imaging techniques to reveal; clarifying whether poi
is actually juggling when it's a rather conspicuous part of one's
external anatomy (and, which sorts of audiences should be allowed to
view such performances), and of course basic safety issues like
banning tritium from being brought anywhere *near* slightly sub-
stellar gas giant planets, notwithstanding some pretty amazing things
that certain beings can do with a few quintrigintillion tons of the
stuff, which however I regret to say that I am not at liberty to
disclose to this audience. (Except that it's really awesome. (Stay
tuned; release should be approved in just a few million more years.))
But we sure wouldn't want said planets to start fusing just because
someone was clumsy, now would we, Xorbox?
It might be of special interest to beings here that the setting-up of
planetary systems is an art in itself, but points will be deducted for
planets with excess axial tilt, (such as Uranus, which was worth a .3
point penalty), but might be added or subtracted for planets going in
opposite orbital directions, depending on the artistic merit and
difficulty of the routine as submitted beforehand. Rings, however,
are recognized as difficult to make look clean, to say nothing of
their propensity to cause injury, and with respect to a certain
performance about 5 billion years ago, Saturn earned .25 points back
in a special award. The asteroid belt was, unfortunately a messy
drop, resulting in a total score of just 8.3/10 for the whole system.
Putting moons around almost every planet did enormous benefit to the
total score, which would have been just 7.8 without them. (It was
recognized that, despite the drop resulting in the asteroid belt, at
least one asteroid ended up with its own moon, a good thing.)
The largest open issue right now is whether juggling is properly
considered an art, a sport, a zyterbion, a holistithon or a vivobog,
and which of the five the Federation should recognize foremost, if in
fact any should. Needless to say, there are well-considered and
indeed highly persuasive arguments for each. Debate continues at this
time, although it has been made clear that causing supernovas in
opposing systems as a result of this dispute, whether to sway the
undecided or simply to eliminate opponents WILL NOT be tolerated. (So
don't even think about it! You know who you are!!)
-boppo