Top Twenty Lines We're Tired Of Hearing
Dan McDonald
Juggling .Sigs Alliance) is proud to present the top twenty:
Lines We're Tired of Hearing
----------------------------
1. Are you with the circus or something?
2. Was that a trick?
3. Where did you learn how to do that?
4. Was that a different trick?
5. Do you do birthday parties?
6. Wasn't that the same trick backwards?
7. Do you have a real job?
8. Can I see those balls for a minute?
9. Do you do that thing I saw this guy do this one time and he had like this
other guy and he ya'know, like juggled and stuff?
10. How many can you do?
11. Why aren't they on fire?
12. Have you ever seen that movie Labarynth where David Bowie does that ball
thing?
13. Dude, do you like the Dead?
14. Is that your only drop line?
15. Can you teach me to do that?
16. Can you do that trick with the apple?
17. Do you mime too?
18. How long have you been doing that?
19. You don't want money do you?
20. Did you ever see that juggler on Letterman?
The IJSA will cheerfully accept updates to this list, please mail all
suggestions to el...@graceland.org.
Peace,
-McD
(.sig looking up snappy comebacks in Conway's landmark treatise "Snappy Put-
Downs For The Creativity Impaired.")
ejb...@teleport.com
-------------------------------
1. (After watching for a few minutes) Oh, yeah. I get it.
He's _alternating._
2. . . .
--
ejb...@teleport.com The joint account/address of Eric & Judith Bagai
aka Smaug & Sibyl
:: Foreworks Publishing :: Flaming Sparrow Press :: The Enigma (editor) ::
Chris Baer
> Lines We're Tired of Hearing
----------------------------
>1. Are you with the circus or something?
(...)
>20. Did you ever see that juggler on Letterman?
21. Are you a clown?
22. Is that real fire?
Simon Richard Fox
: ejb...@teleport.com said:
: : Lines We Can't Believe We Heard
: : -------------------------------
: : 1. (After watching for a few minutes) Oh, yeah. I get it.
: : He's _alternating._
: 2. That's not really four balls, you're just doing two in each hand.
: 3. So five is the same as three, only higher ?
: 4. Why do you juggle ?
5. Don't drop them (piss weak laughter following)
6. Do you juggle chainsaws (more pissweak laughter)
7. Do you like playing with your balls (far too much pissweak
laughter by this stage)
8. Can you juggle (N+1) balls (where N is the number currently in
the air)
9. Can you juggle PINS ?
10. Can you juggle BATONS ?
The list goes on ...
Partially explaining why street-performers are often really
aggressive and generally rude in my experience, they have so
much crap to deal with.
Simon
Victor Leonard
: ejb...@teleport.com said:
: : Lines We Can't Believe We Heard
: : -------------------------------
: : 1. (After watching for a few minutes) Oh, yeah. I get it.
: : He's _alternating._
: 2. That's not really four balls, you're just doing two in each hand.
: 3. So five is the same as three, only higher ?
: 4. Why do you juggle ?
Gotta add the biggest one which I'm surprised nobody's mentioned yet:
5. I Can juggle (as he (always a he) either picks up 2 objects and does
a circle or picks up as many objects as he can find (leaving you with
nothing to beat him with) and proceeds to hit himself in the head with
his first two throws (making it unnecessary to beat him))
.sig has had too much stuff stolen by these wonderful cretins he writes
about!
Adam Buckley
: Lines We Can't Believe We Heard
: -------------------------------
: 1. (After watching for a few minutes) Oh, yeah. I get it.
: He's _alternating._
2. That's not really four balls, you're just doing two in each hand.
3. So five is the same as three, only higher ?
4. Why do you juggle ?
Adam
Brian Milner
>: Lines We Can't Believe We Heard
>: -------------------------------
I found a guy from the States fire juggling on the street. He did the spiel,
then took the money. People chucked in pound coins, making encouraging
remarks. When I got to him, I said "Nice triple singles, guy." He was left
staring after me, thinking "Sh!T, that must've been a juggler."
I'm still not sure if this was a cool thing, or a bastard thing to do. :-)
--
==Brian Milner, The Computer Centre, Brunel University, West London, UK====
=======WWW Home page - http://http2.brunel.ac.uk:8080/~ccusbdm/ ===========
Mr Aardvark
> Lines We Can't Believe We Heard
> -------------------------------
>
>1. (After watching for a few minutes) Oh, yeah. I get it.
2. Mills Mess..I know a real easy way to show you that...
3. Try this one its real easy(said while someone is doing something
incredible with a diablo)
4. Is five clubs really that hard? :)
I shall leave the rest for other people to fill in.
phil
Alan Morgan
Adam Buckley <a...@oasis.icl.co.uk> wrote:
>ejb...@teleport.com said:
>: Lines We Can't Believe We Heard
>: -------------------------------
>
>: 1. (After watching for a few minutes) Oh, yeah. I get it.
>: He's _alternating._
>
> 2. That's not really four balls, you're just doing two in each hand.
Aaarrrggghhh! I hear this one a lot and it *really* gets on my nerves.
That and the people who think that a cascade isn't "real" juggling ("real"
juggling, apparently, is when the balls go in like a circle and stuff).
Of course, a crossing pattern with even numbers isn't real juggling.
But you already knew that.
> 3. So five is the same as three, only higher ?
This is actually a rather profound statement. It is far from obvious
that juggling 5 involves the same pattern as juggling 3.
> 4. Why do you juggle ?
To meet babes. No, it doesn't work.
5. Do you ever dress up in a clown suit and get paid for juggling?
No I....
6. Why not?
Because I SUCK! I'm a shitty juggler and one of the most boring
people on Earth! Don't you have someone else you can bother????
Go away.
Alan
----
.sig concludes Alan must be having a bad week
Francis Favorini
>(Dan McDonald) writes:
>> Lines We're Tired of Hearing
>> ----------------------------
>
This one gets me every time. What do they think fake fire would be?
I mean other than cardboard with red, orange and yellow construction
paper, which would be pretty obvious even to profoundly dumb people.
Maybe they think it's a hologram or something. I don't know. :-)
-Fran
.sig says "Some people are just goofy."
Patrick W. Thompson
And for all you Devil stickers out there......
32. "Its a trick...There's a magnet in the stick!"
33. "There must be a string or something!?"
34. "Is that juggling?"
35. "Can you juggle too?"
--
"Here is a coupon good for one free kiss, But I warn you now....
Stay away from the camels...... They spit."
Anything is passable in Cleveland! (especially Devil sticks!)
Gregory Cohen
But the above statement turned around has been useful to me:
Cop: What do you think your doing with that fire?
Me: Juggling ... you mean you think this is real fire (do some fakier)
I wouldn't be that foolish .... nice effect huh?
This has gotten me out of an interesting bind in a shopping mall once.
-GReg
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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+ for a catalog or anonymous FTP our catalog from
+ io.com /pub/usr/infinite
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Lars Burgstahler
> As a fundraiser for the Justice For Boppo committie, the IJSA (Internet
> Juggling .Sigs Alliance) is proud to present the top twenty:
>
> Lines We're Tired of Hearing
> ----------------------------
>
> 1. Are you with the circus or something?
In front of kids:
21. Hey, please show me again.
22. (After showing again, another child comes) Hey, please show me too.
23. (Third child comes) Oh, please, one more time, I haven't seen it.
24-Number of childs in neighbourhood. ....
Lars
--
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Lars 'juggLars' BURGSTAHLER, la...@studbox.uni-stuttgart.de
Institute for Communications Switching and Data Technics
University of Stuttgart, Germany
'Volk und Glueck sind auf der Seite der Narren', Shakespeare ? (Cpt. Kirk?)
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
David Covin
In article <chrisb.19...@elmer.wrq.com>, chr...@elmer.wrq.com (Chris Baer) says:
>(Dan McDonald) writes:
>> Lines We're Tired of Hearing
>> ----------------------------
>
> 22. Is that real fire?
This one gets me every time. What do they think fake fire would be?
Heh. Actually at the Bristol Rennaisance Faire in Wisconsin this summer
I saw a juggling routine in which they played around with the "Lines
We're Tired of Hearing" idea a lot. One of the things they said was
that a lot of people ask the question above, and in fact the answer
is that they're *not* juggling "real" fire, they're juggling special
"fake" fire. Looks just like the real thing, but it's not really
dangerous. To prove this, could a volunteer from the audience come up
and hold a cigarette in his mouth? ...
They actually got someone to do this, and they waved the torch near
his face a few times to "prove" that it wouldn't light the cigarette.
It went over pretty well. The marvelous thing in this case was the
volunteer was wearing a *straw* *hat*, which I think everyone in the
audience expected to go up in flames at any minute...
--
David Covin co...@tartarus.uchicago.edu
ND NEWMAN
"I can do two balls." They will then do what can only be described as a 2 ball shower.
As many of you may know, it is extremely difficult to break this little habit and they always look so hurt when you have to tell them they are doing it the hard way.
Just my tuppence worth Neil.
ejb...@teleport.com
43. Is it sticky, or what? [I use micro-velcro; it sticks to the hair on
my arms. Here, touch it. Go on, touch the ball, damn it!]
44. Is that made out of glass. [Yes. Oh shit . . .]
-Eric
Victor Leonard
While juggling N someone comes up and says "So can you juggle N"
obviously some people can't count moving objects. This has happened to
me most often with a 4 ball shower.
Robert Bridson
> ----------------------------
>
21. Hey! I can juggle ONE!
--
.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,
; Robert Bridson --- rebr...@undergrad.math.uwaterloo.ca :
'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
Jonathan Howard Krivitzky
Dan McDonald <d...@phoenix.xpedite.com> wrote:
>As a fundraiser for the Justice For Boppo committie, the IJSA (Internet
>Juggling .Sigs Alliance) is proud to present the top twenty:
>
> Lines We're Tired of Hearing
> ----------------------------
>
1) Can you juggle, uh, like bowling pins?
2) Can you juggle chainsaws?
3) Can you juggle n+1 (if you are juggling n)?
4) Let me try... (and watch as they throw one ball up and down and brag to
their friends that they are juggling. Popular if spectators are drunk.)
5) Are you playing with your balls? Huh, huh. (Insert any ball joke
here)
6) I knew someone who could REALLY juggle.
7) Ya-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da etc. (Circus theme music. Also
popular if the audience is drunk)
That's all I can think of off the top of my head for balls. I'm sure
there are more specifically for clubs, torches, or knives. Let's not get into
unicycles.
Jon Krivitzky
--
---------------------------------------------------------
| Jon Krivitzky | Ex-Pitch of the Washington |
| jh...@cec.wustl.edu | University MOSAIC WHISPERS |
---NEW WHISPER EMAIL ADDRESS: whis...@nimue.wustl.edu---
Andy Lewis
newm...@aston.ac.uk (ND NEWMAN) writes:
> "I can do two balls." They will then do what can only be described as a 2
>ball shower.
>
> As many of you may know, it is extremely difficult to break this little
>habit and they always look so hurt when you have to tell them they are doing
>it the hard way.
But its even more worrying when they say "All my friends at school
could do two balls, and I tried and tried but I never managed it."
Andy
Andy Lewis (a...@ecs.soton.ac.uk) | Confucius, he say -
Department of Electronics | "To juggle, need many
and Computer Science | many mind pieces."
University of Southampton |
Egore327
writes:
>> 2. That's not really four balls, you're just doing two in each hand.
>Aaarrrggghhh! I hear this one a lot and it *really* gets on my nerves.
>That and the people who think that a cascade isn't "real" juggling
("real"
>juggling, apparently, is when the balls go in like a circle and stuff).
I was showing some juggling to customers here at my shop and some guy
carefully positioned himself right in front of me so he could scope out my
four-ball pattern and then actually said: "Well, technically, that's not
really juggling since you are just doing two in each hand, you know." And
I said in reply: "Well, technically, WE call it juggling; you can call it
anything you want to!"
I cannot for the life of me figure out where this idea comes from. Is
there some book or encyclopedia article out there that presumes to define
"juggling" for the general public so that they will not be deceived by
charlitans posing as jugglers and doing "not real" patterns such as the
four-ball fountain? It can be argued that certain object manipulation
arts are "not juggling", such as cigar boxes or devil stick, but is there
an actual juggler anywhere in the world who doesn't consider juggling four
balls to be juggling?