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If I were the admissions guy I would let you in
Anyway, good job! Great idea!
--Thom
/ Who also made a juggling video as an application supplement.
// And who dated an admissions officer once and likes to pretend that he's
qualified enough to give advice for it!
I think your newer version is better, but I'd suggest that you
double-check your grammar and make sure you have no errors at all. Ask
your English teacher to help you or someone else that is very good at
grammar, if you can. You start off positive, go negative, then end
positive, which is better than ending negative, but in such a short piece,
you should be positive, throughout.
I understand you are being honest, but that is something in which you
should never do on admission things. ;-) Pretend that all your negative
thoughts about juggling and life were all in the past and stress how
process of learning juggling has taught you how to approach problems in
your academic and personal lives and come up with workable solutions.
There seems like there was a long gap where you said something negative
and before you said something positive.
Dave Altman
Sure, no problem, I'm glad you thought my advice was helpful. I think you
will do well in college. You seem to be open minded and be willing to
accept help. Those skills come in handy in college, once you are out of
college, you can better separate the BS you receive from the good stuff
and form your own opinions.
In my experience, the greater part of my college education didn't happen
in the classrooms, but talking to college professors outside of class,
discussions with my fellow students while drinking plenty of liquids,
attending lectures by visiting professors, and going to a variety of
different concerns and cultural events hosted by the college.
Nice Job
I think this is one of the only videos (besides for mine) where the
juggler is wearing a kippah and tsisit.
have fun
Jacob
Hi, EP.
had a look through both the original and final versions of this, and I
agree completely with everything that Dave's said (including the fact
that you'll get a lot more out of the people you meet at college, rather
than the classes).
Only one small thing that I'd add, is that while you come up with some
good thoughts about what juggling's taught you, and how it's helped you;
you haven't linked that back to college. I'd recommend putting in
something about how juggling has showed you what you can achieve when
you put your mind to something and work at it, and that this would be an
attitude that you'd bring to the college, to learn as much as you can,
and get the most out of the experience.
Just my thoughts.
Good luck with the application.
Cheers,
Dave
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