What's your best 1-liner to explain a drop?

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AverageJoggler

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Feb 5, 2008, 5:52:29 PM2/5/08
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On those highly improbable occasions when a bean bag doesn't conform
to your mastery of gravity and ends up on the floor, what are some of
your best lines to explain yourself?

While joggling, I've used the following...

"Wow, that's never happened before"
"Guess I'll have to start the race over"

The Void

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Feb 5, 2008, 5:59:24 PM2/5/08
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"That was your fault. Now piss off and stop gawping at me, you dumb brat."

Never fails to get a laugh. From me.

The Void
................
Available for.....

--
----== posted via www.jugglingdb.com ==----

Kelhoon

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Feb 5, 2008, 6:37:24 PM2/5/08
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Heard recently -

"That's the first time that's ever happened ... again"
"quick kid, pick it up, if you're fast enough no-one will notice"
"oops, a sudden gust of gravity"
"you lazy ball, you're fired"
"I thought we worked this out in rehearsals"

not a drop line, but some kind of running gag from a lot of performers at
the recent buskers festival here:

"it didn't look that big/small/high in the catalogue"

I hardly ever have an audience, but I would either say nothing at all, say
"oops" or if I'm feeling a bit cheeky I might say "what do you expect for
free ?"

Juggle on,

Kelhoon

Michael Karas

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Feb 6, 2008, 12:24:05 AM2/6/08
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so these probably suck and have never been tested - just making them up:

you drop, make a big "tada" movement and await applause...hopefully
awkward silence. Say, "Hmm, the last crowd didn't like that trick either."

or drop and hush the crowd..."Shh, it gets better. Watch this..(point at
the ball)...play dead!"

or drop and sing to the ball "It's too late to apologiiiizze." (AKA
OneRepublic featuring Timbaland)

or look hopeful and then disappointed..."darn, last time this happened,
the ground threw it back."

These are all kopyrighted, sike not really, rip them off if you like'em.
They probably suck though. I don't street perform.

Steven Ragatz

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Feb 6, 2008, 1:49:00 AM2/6/08
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AverageJoggler wrote:
>
> On those highly improbable occasions when a bean bag doesn't conform
> to your mastery of gravity and ends up on the floor, what are some of
> your best lines to explain yourself?
>

Just once, after I drop a ball, I'd like to simply whip it out and take a
pee on the damn thing.

Steven Ragatz (who has CLEARLY dropped enough times on stage to have
developed some serious issues on the subject.)

jani

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Feb 6, 2008, 2:16:53 AM2/6/08
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Steven Ragatz wrote:
> AverageJoggler wrote:
>> On those highly improbable occasions when a bean bag doesn't conform
>> to your mastery of gravity and ends up on the floor, what are some of
>> your best lines to explain yourself?
>>
>
> Just once, after I drop a ball, I'd like to simply whip it out and take a
> pee on the damn thing.
>
> Steven Ragatz (who has CLEARLY dropped enough times on stage to have
> developed some serious issues on the subject.)

I actually LOLed (or is that LedOL?) at this. Not because it's
particularly funny, but because it comes from Mr. Ragatz, of all people.

Can you please warn us in advance when this urge is nearing its breaking
point? I think there are quite a few of us, who would buy plane and show
tickets.

jani, still chuckling
--
My Photographic Diary:
http://www.janikyllonen.com/

Le_lemGo

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Feb 6, 2008, 3:42:47 AM2/6/08
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"Of course I did it on purpose, whaddya think???...."

Matthew Tiffany

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Feb 6, 2008, 4:57:52 AM2/6/08
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regulaly i hear that all too familiar phase, 'you dropped one' to which i
reply 'yes, but i caught 6' and if they persist i remind them how many
catches i had made before i dropped the only one the fickle fuck cares
about.

when performing i usually pretent my drops are purposeful, or asthough the
props themselves were responsible for it, people dont quite know what to
make of that.

tiff
xx

Øverby, Sondre

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Feb 6, 2008, 7:53:17 AM2/6/08
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Matthew Tiffany wrote:
>
> AverageJoggler wrote:
> >
> > On those highly improbable occasions when a bean bag doesn't conform
> > to your mastery of gravity and ends up on the floor, what are some of
> > your best lines to explain yourself?
> >
> > While joggling, I've used the following...
> >
> > "Wow, that's never happened before"
> > "Guess I'll have to start the race over"
> >
> >
> >
>
> regulaly i hear that all too familiar phase, 'you dropped one' to which i
> reply 'yes, but i caught 6' and if they persist i remind them how many
> catches i had made before i dropped the only one the fickle fuck cares
> about.
>

Yeah, that's getting annoying. Don't people think you are aware of it, and
is the fact that you dropped, more worth mentioning than the fact that you
actually juggled all 7 before that?

For instance, why does nobody say to a musician that plays a note wrong
that they missed a key, and tell them the music was awesome instead? Why
does nobody tell a biker that "hey, you know what? You crashed and fell
off the bike" - or say to an author he/she had a typo?

These are obviously stretching it a bit, but it's still kind of odd.


As for myself, I don't perform much, although when I did so, a drop was
followed by a kind of "look at that! Amazing, yes?" expression, or "next
time it'll work". If somebody is just watching me practice, I usually
mumble "no!" if I drop, or look angrily at the balls on the floor,
implying what happened wasn't that I dropped, but that the balls fell.

KooKie

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Feb 6, 2008, 8:08:25 AM2/6/08
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jani wrote:

> I actually LOLed (or is that LedOL?) at this. Not because it's
> particularly funny, but because it comes from Mr. Ragatz, of all people.
>

Yeah me too :). I was wondering "hm? Steven? What would he do if he
dropped a ball?"

Oh...

Kit

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Feb 6, 2008, 8:48:41 AM2/6/08
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Some lines for all, enjoy>>>>>>>>>>Kit

Whoops. Almost dropped one.

Couldn't help it. Ya see, there was this sudden gust of gravity.

Juggling low.

It fell down.

Take two.

What a save.

An, a new version.

This act is really picking up, don't you think?

Skylab.

(scream)

(put balls away, juggle three similar but smaller balls, then continue
with the larger balls.)

Humiliation again.

Yes, he has great balls, but he doesn't manipulate them properly.

(Turn around and zip up your fly.)

Don't worry, I'm used to it.

I have to be careful because these are the only balls I have.

Come and see the juggler die.

Maybe if I drop, it's deliberate.

And you figure, here's my chance to go to the bathroom (to the person
in the front row.)

Well, I sincerely hope you get a chance to see someone do this
someday.

At times like this I wish I had an act.

I never miss.

(audience throws it back and misses) Three tries for a quarter.

C'est la vie. Say La Vie! forget it.

You probably think that was a mistake, that I actually missed it. No,
I was just testing the law of gravity.

This is a real floor show, don't you think?

Five and a half years of practice shot down the drain.

Go and get a wheaties box, say "I didn't eat my Wheaties this morning"
then pull a beer out of the box.

(pretend you lost your contact lenses.)

That's a slight technical error . . . there may be others as I go
along.

Notice, I have full control of my act at all times.

Don't worry, it's all part of the act. And if you believe that,
you'll believe anything.

You know, something like this could drive a normal man crazy. You can
imagine what it's doing to me.

I'm beyond embarrassment.

(when you are inside performing) The sun got in my eyes.

(when you are inside performing) Windy in here isn't it.

The shade got in my eyes.

You may be wondering why I drop that. Well, I was just doing a
demonstration of gravity. Now was that gravity, or does the earth
suck.

Obviously, a defective prop.

The string broke.

Don't mind me, I'm just practicing.

(stagger and say) First drop I've had all day.

(when the prop goes into the audience) Quick, before they notice.

(when the prop goes into the audience) This is the audience
participation portion of my show.

Jugglers hate Isaac Newton.

Whoops, I almost dropped that one.

To err is human--but it feels divine.

The Void

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Feb 6, 2008, 8:58:45 AM2/6/08
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Kit wrote:
> Skylab.

Cor, a 30 year old topical drop line! Use that one a lot these days, Kit?

Still, you have just reminded me of the excellent "Dogs In Space". Well
done.

The Void
................
Nice long pub lunch on Sunday, folks?

Hatch

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Feb 6, 2008, 11:26:45 AM2/6/08
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Often times people clap when you drop; the break in the action
provides the opportunity. To this I like to reply, "Why do people
always clap when I drop?" Often times this turns into a running gag.
The next time I drop and people clap, I say, "There they go again."
Then if I drop and people don't clap, I say, "Go ahead and clap
already!" It's funny.

PS

I bet we could reassemble the entire Juggling With Finesse solely from
Kit Summers' forum posts. :-D

Alan Morgan

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Feb 6, 2008, 11:56:41 AM2/6/08
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In article <47a984a0$0$513$bed6...@news.gradwell.net>,

Matthew Tiffany <tiff...@hotmail.com.nospam.com> wrote:
>AverageJoggler wrote:
>>
>> On those highly improbable occasions when a bean bag doesn't conform
>> to your mastery of gravity and ends up on the floor, what are some of
>> your best lines to explain yourself?
>>
>regulaly i hear that all too familiar phase, 'you dropped one' to which i
>reply 'yes, but i caught 6'

and that's 85%. That's a solid B grade right there.

Alan
--
Defendit numerus

Alan Morgan

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Feb 6, 2008, 11:58:08 AM2/6/08
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In article <912477b7-4035-4125...@m34g2000hsb.googlegroups.com>,

Hatch <agen...@gmail.com> wrote:
>Often times people clap when you drop; the break in the action
>provides the opportunity. To this I like to reply, "Why do people
>always clap when I drop?"

Look on the bright side, if it wasn't for that you wouldn't be getting
any applause at all.

I kid, I kid.

Alan
--
Defendit numerus

JugglerPeter

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Feb 6, 2008, 1:10:56 PM2/6/08
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I actually don't think a musician missing a note is a stretch at all. I
think that's a really appropriate example. Just like the point of music
isn't to hack out a piece without missing a note, the point of juggling
isn't to hack out a routine without a drop.

JugglerPeter

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Feb 6, 2008, 1:11:43 PM2/6/08
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That's a great line = the first one throwin into the public domain on this
thread I might steal(especially since when I do perform I talk about how
I'm a teacher)

JugglerPeter

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Feb 6, 2008, 1:14:32 PM2/6/08
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You know that makes a good drop line too

SuchaMuggle

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Feb 6, 2008, 3:06:33 PM2/6/08
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AverageJoggler wrote:
>
> On those highly improbable occasions when a bean bag doesn't conform
> to your mastery of gravity and ends up on the floor, what are some of
> your best lines to explain yourself?
>

My show is so droppy that I find myself making excuses when I nail
something WITHOUT a drop. It really throws off the rhythm of my
performance. I find myself looking at my hands, then the ground, then
counting the props i'm holding and going, "uh, whoah."

John

Little Paul

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Feb 7, 2008, 6:00:44 AM2/7/08
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On 2008-02-06, The Void <vo...@youcanfindme.ifyouwant.nospam.com> wrote:

> Still, you have just reminded me of the excellent "Dogs In Space". Well
> done.

And you've just reminded me of the excellent "Pigs In Spage" (or should I
say "Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggsssss iiiiiinnnnnn spaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!")

-Paul
--
paulseward.com - a photo a day for 2008
100jugglers.org - 100 pieces of signed juggling promotional material

agedest

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Feb 7, 2008, 10:17:18 AM2/7/08
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Kit's List will not likely be topped, and has the interesting aspect
of variety, suggesting inspiration of the moment rather than practice
as "a line" for a show. On the matter of practice, how would one
practice saying something particular at an unpredictable drop? What I
do say in practice, if anything, is usually "shIT!" or "GOT dammit!"
so that such practice would be hard to overcome with something
witty.

Tim from Leeds

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Feb 7, 2008, 12:32:52 PM2/7/08
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Clearly you went to school in ye olde days when exams were harder.
Definitely an A for 85%, and probably an A*.

Tim

NickP

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Feb 7, 2008, 1:29:14 PM2/7/08
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Performing is different from practicing and there should be something
in your head that inhibits what comes out of your mouth when you are
performing in public. It might help if you start using some of your
chosen lines when you are in practice.

When you perform enough, you may be surprised how much that appears
unpredictable has actually happened lots of times before. There have
been many times when someone in the audience has complimented me on
how quick witted I have been with an apparantly off the cuff response.
Don't tell anyone, but the same unpredictable occurence / drop /
heckle / audience comment / whatever has happened so often that my
response is automatic. Quite possibly the unpredictable whatever was
actually engineered deliberately by myself.

Of course there is always a first time for everything and when
something really unpredictable does happen, it can be quite exciting.

Nick

Alan Morgan

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Feb 7, 2008, 2:15:29 PM2/7/08
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In article <85b5ccd9-daec-4787...@i29g2000prf.googlegroups.com>,

AverageJoggler <Thejo...@gmail.com> wrote:
>On those highly improbable occasions when a bean bag doesn't conform
>to your mastery of gravity and ends up on the floor, what are some of
>your best lines to explain yourself?

Have you ever seen those industrial signs that say 322 days or whatever
without an accident? The numbers are either hand written in or written
on a card that is hung on the sign (see
http://www.seton.com/seton/spacecode/Safety-Accident-Free-Signs/C37/.html
for an example).

Create a sign that says "<blank> consecutive drop free shows" and put a
nice large number there. When you drop, sigh, go over to the sign,
remove/erase the number, replace it with 0, and go back to your act
a broken man.

There is also the old joke about having HELLO on your prop stand. When
you drop you move the O from the end to the beginning. Not the world's
greatest joke, but I thought it would be funny to reference this by
having SHITO on your prop stand.

Alan
--
Defendit numerus

Kelhoon

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Feb 8, 2008, 12:19:59 AM2/8/08
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Little Paul wrote:
>
> On 2008-02-06, The Void <vo...@youcanfindme.ifyouwant.nospam.com> wrote:
>
> > Still, you have just reminded me of the excellent "Dogs In Space". Well
> > done.
>
> And you've just reminded me of the excellent "Pigs In Spage" (or should I
> say "Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggsssss iiiiiinnnnnn spaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!")
>
> -Paul

You muppet.

ultimatewannabe

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Feb 8, 2008, 12:36:35 AM2/8/08
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In practice I whip out my middle fingers in a rather rude orientation in
order to communicate my emotions. . . . . . . Since performance is suppose
to communicate emotions too, I've found I can do this with similar sign
language.

meagar

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Feb 8, 2008, 1:18:25 AM2/8/08
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On Feb 5, 5:52 pm, AverageJoggler <Thejogg...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On those highly improbable occasions when a bean bag doesn't conform
> to your mastery of gravity and ends up on the floor, what are some of
> your best lines to explain yourself?
>
> While joggling, I've used the following...
>
> "Wow, that's never happened before"
> "Guess I'll have to start the race over"

Look puzzled, then closely inspect the remaining undropped props.
Appear to spot something, dawn a "Ahh, of course" expression, point
out a small (actually nonexistent) sticker to the audience and say
"Made in Taiwan."

Or, pick it up and shake it, think about it a second and say "Well,
this one's clearly broken". Then throw it away.

Little Paul

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Feb 8, 2008, 5:08:15 AM2/8/08
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On 2008-02-08, meagar <mea...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> Look puzzled, then closely inspect the remaining undropped props.
> Appear to spot something, dawn a "Ahh, of course" expression, point
> out a small (actually nonexistent) sticker to the audience and say
> "Made in Taiwan."

That doesn't really work these days given the build quality of some
of the kit coming out of Taiwan these days.

Perhaps you should change it to "Made in America"

Steven Ragatz

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Feb 8, 2008, 9:31:24 AM2/8/08
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Little Paul wrote:
>
> On 2008-02-08, meagar <mea...@gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > Look puzzled, then closely inspect the remaining undropped props.
> > Appear to spot something, dawn a "Ahh, of course" expression, point
> > out a small (actually nonexistent) sticker to the audience and say
> > "Made in Taiwan."
>
> That doesn't really work these days given the build quality of some
> of the kit coming out of Taiwan these days.
>
> Perhaps you should change it to "Made in America"
>
> -Paul

Or perhaps you should change it to "Made in the U.K."?

But I guess that wouldn't be very funny since nothing is really made in
the U.K....

Steven (Made in America) Ragatz

Steven Ragatz

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Feb 8, 2008, 9:44:43 AM2/8/08
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AverageJoggler wrote:
>
> On those highly improbable occasions when a bean bag doesn't conform
> to your mastery of gravity and ends up on the floor, what are some of
> your best lines to explain yourself?
>
> While joggling, I've used the following...
>
> "Wow, that's never happened before"
> "Guess I'll have to start the race over"

This is a fun game! Lets can some lines!

Making them up off the top of my (very bored) head, so I wouldn't qualify
them as 'best' but,

"Shhh, it's sleeping."
(To the dropped prop) "And STAY OUT!"
"Aw shoot! And that one was my favorite!"
"Well, this trick just got allot easier."
"Yes, and I also have that nightmare about forgetting to wear any pants."

Steven Ragatz

ijuggle42

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Feb 8, 2008, 11:25:27 AM2/8/08
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snap

Lehmann

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Feb 8, 2008, 12:03:49 PM2/8/08
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"Øverby, Sondre" <sondre_...@sjonglering.com.nospam.com> skrev i en
meddelelse news:47a9adbd$0$513$bed6...@news.gradwell.net...

>
> For instance, why does nobody say to a musician that plays a note wrong
> that they missed a key, and tell them the music was awesome instead? Why
> does nobody tell a biker that "hey, you know what? You crashed and fell
> off the bike" - or say to an author he/she had a typo?

The first time I played at a concert attended by my father-in-law I played
one of the finest concerts I've ever played, - it really went well ...
After the concert my wife asked her father, didn't he play well? ... and got
the answar "yeah, some parts were really good, but he missed a key!"

> These are obviously stretching it a bit, but it's still kind of odd.

It's more similar than you think. Both juggling and music is catched in some
paradigma of perfectionism - mostly due to TV and CDs etc.
People are expecting a flawless performance every time - just like on the
CDs. They never really take into consideration that TV-shows and CDs are
takes and retakes until it's perfect.

It's said among elite classical musicians that in the old days, the
greatest/legendary performers could have a off-day (and had them of course)
and still be legendary - today you don't have off-days!
Ad to that that the pro-musician society is the most competative enviroment
I've ever encountered (and one of the main reasons why I desided not to
become a pro) ... the motto is "getting someone down today, just means one
less to compete with" (no kidding).

So no ... you're not streching it.

Claes


Little Paul

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Feb 8, 2008, 12:34:48 PM2/8/08
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On 2008-02-08, Steven Ragatz <st...@stevenragatz.com.nospam.com> wrote:
>
> Or perhaps you should change it to "Made in the U.K."?
>
> But I guess that wouldn't be very funny since nothing is really made in
> the U.K....

We don't make much, but what we do make is built to last...

popstar_dave

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Feb 8, 2008, 5:38:32 PM2/8/08
to
Řverby, Sondre wrote:
>
> Matthew Tiffany wrote:
> >
> > AverageJoggler wrote:
> > >
> > > On those highly improbable occasions when a bean bag doesn't conform
> > > to your mastery of gravity and ends up on the floor, what are some of
> > > your best lines to explain yourself?
> > >
> > > While joggling, I've used the following...
> > >
> > > "Wow, that's never happened before"
> > > "Guess I'll have to start the race over"
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> > regulaly i hear that all too familiar phase, 'you dropped one' to which i
> > reply 'yes, but i caught 6' and if they persist i remind them how many
> > catches i had made before i dropped the only one the fickle fuck cares
> > about.
> >
>
> For instance, why does nobody say ... to an author he/she had a typo?

Actually, I've seend plenty of well written posts replied to with,
"Hahaha! You spellt 'reorganize' wrong!"

Dave

agedest

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Feb 10, 2008, 12:04:26 AM2/10/08
to
A big difference between music and juggling and misses, is that in
music the music continues and continues to be whatever it was.
Especially if a juggling perfomance is timed to recorded music, a drop
wrecks that timing too as well as whatever had been the pattern. The
one-liners are to distract from the delay and broken attention and to
beg continued good feelings.

-

Jay Linn

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Feb 11, 2008, 1:35:02 PM2/11/08
to
Little Paul wrote:
> On 2008-02-08, Steven Ragatz <st...@stevenragatz.com.nospam.com> wrote:
>> Or perhaps you should change it to "Made in the U.K."?
>>
>> But I guess that wouldn't be very funny since nothing is really made in
>> the U.K....
>
> We don't make much, but what we do make is built to last...

Damn right. The mess we made in Iraq is going to last a Hell of a long
time, though I grant we had a little help with that particular project ...

--
Jay Linn

When they made me, they threw away the mould. But it grew back again.
(Yes, I know it's a stolen gag, geddoeverit already).

Graham

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Feb 12, 2008, 4:12:46 AM2/12/08
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Palm a battery, pick up the ball let the battery drop as you take it out
of the ball/club an replace it. "Flat battery"
Graham