While joggling, I've used the following...
"Wow, that's never happened before"
"Guess I'll have to start the race over"
"That was your fault. Now piss off and stop gawping at me, you dumb brat."
Never fails to get a laugh. From me.
----== posted via www.jugglingdb.com ==----
Heard recently -
"That's the first time that's ever happened ... again"
"quick kid, pick it up, if you're fast enough no-one will notice"
"oops, a sudden gust of gravity"
"you lazy ball, you're fired"
"I thought we worked this out in rehearsals"
not a drop line, but some kind of running gag from a lot of performers at
the recent buskers festival here:
"it didn't look that big/small/high in the catalogue"
I hardly ever have an audience, but I would either say nothing at all, say
"oops" or if I'm feeling a bit cheeky I might say "what do you expect for
so these probably suck and have never been tested - just making them up:
you drop, make a big "tada" movement and await applause...hopefully
awkward silence. Say, "Hmm, the last crowd didn't like that trick either."
or drop and hush the crowd..."Shh, it gets better. Watch this..(point at
the ball)...play dead!"
or drop and sing to the ball "It's too late to apologiiiizze." (AKA
OneRepublic featuring Timbaland)
or look hopeful and then disappointed..."darn, last time this happened,
the ground threw it back."
These are all kopyrighted, sike not really, rip them off if you like'em.
They probably suck though. I don't street perform.
Just once, after I drop a ball, I'd like to simply whip it out and take a
pee on the damn thing.
Steven Ragatz (who has CLEARLY dropped enough times on stage to have
developed some serious issues on the subject.)
I actually LOLed (or is that LedOL?) at this. Not because it's
particularly funny, but because it comes from Mr. Ragatz, of all people.
Can you please warn us in advance when this urge is nearing its breaking
point? I think there are quite a few of us, who would buy plane and show
jani, still chuckling
My Photographic Diary:
"Of course I did it on purpose, whaddya think???...."
regulaly i hear that all too familiar phase, 'you dropped one' to which i
reply 'yes, but i caught 6' and if they persist i remind them how many
catches i had made before i dropped the only one the fickle fuck cares
when performing i usually pretent my drops are purposeful, or asthough the
props themselves were responsible for it, people dont quite know what to
make of that.
Yeah, that's getting annoying. Don't people think you are aware of it, and
is the fact that you dropped, more worth mentioning than the fact that you
actually juggled all 7 before that?
For instance, why does nobody say to a musician that plays a note wrong
that they missed a key, and tell them the music was awesome instead? Why
does nobody tell a biker that "hey, you know what? You crashed and fell
off the bike" - or say to an author he/she had a typo?
These are obviously stretching it a bit, but it's still kind of odd.
As for myself, I don't perform much, although when I did so, a drop was
followed by a kind of "look at that! Amazing, yes?" expression, or "next
time it'll work". If somebody is just watching me practice, I usually
mumble "no!" if I drop, or look angrily at the balls on the floor,
implying what happened wasn't that I dropped, but that the balls fell.
> I actually LOLed (or is that LedOL?) at this. Not because it's
> particularly funny, but because it comes from Mr. Ragatz, of all people.
Yeah me too :). I was wondering "hm? Steven? What would he do if he
dropped a ball?"
Whoops. Almost dropped one.
Couldn't help it. Ya see, there was this sudden gust of gravity.
It fell down.
What a save.
An, a new version.
This act is really picking up, don't you think?
(put balls away, juggle three similar but smaller balls, then continue
with the larger balls.)
Yes, he has great balls, but he doesn't manipulate them properly.
(Turn around and zip up your fly.)
Don't worry, I'm used to it.
I have to be careful because these are the only balls I have.
Come and see the juggler die.
Maybe if I drop, it's deliberate.
And you figure, here's my chance to go to the bathroom (to the person
in the front row.)
Well, I sincerely hope you get a chance to see someone do this
At times like this I wish I had an act.
I never miss.
(audience throws it back and misses) Three tries for a quarter.
C'est la vie. Say La Vie! forget it.
You probably think that was a mistake, that I actually missed it. No,
I was just testing the law of gravity.
This is a real floor show, don't you think?
Five and a half years of practice shot down the drain.
Go and get a wheaties box, say "I didn't eat my Wheaties this morning"
then pull a beer out of the box.
(pretend you lost your contact lenses.)
That's a slight technical error . . . there may be others as I go
Notice, I have full control of my act at all times.
Don't worry, it's all part of the act. And if you believe that,
you'll believe anything.
You know, something like this could drive a normal man crazy. You can
imagine what it's doing to me.
I'm beyond embarrassment.
(when you are inside performing) The sun got in my eyes.
(when you are inside performing) Windy in here isn't it.
The shade got in my eyes.
You may be wondering why I drop that. Well, I was just doing a
demonstration of gravity. Now was that gravity, or does the earth
Obviously, a defective prop.
The string broke.
Don't mind me, I'm just practicing.
(stagger and say) First drop I've had all day.
(when the prop goes into the audience) Quick, before they notice.
(when the prop goes into the audience) This is the audience
participation portion of my show.
Jugglers hate Isaac Newton.
Whoops, I almost dropped that one.
To err is human--but it feels divine.
Cor, a 30 year old topical drop line! Use that one a lot these days, Kit?
Still, you have just reminded me of the excellent "Dogs In Space". Well
Nice long pub lunch on Sunday, folks?
I bet we could reassemble the entire Juggling With Finesse solely from
Kit Summers' forum posts. :-D
and that's 85%. That's a solid B grade right there.
Look on the bright side, if it wasn't for that you wouldn't be getting
any applause at all.
I kid, I kid.
I actually don't think a musician missing a note is a stretch at all. I
think that's a really appropriate example. Just like the point of music
isn't to hack out a piece without missing a note, the point of juggling
isn't to hack out a routine without a drop.
That's a great line = the first one throwin into the public domain on this
thread I might steal(especially since when I do perform I talk about how
I'm a teacher)
You know that makes a good drop line too
My show is so droppy that I find myself making excuses when I nail
something WITHOUT a drop. It really throws off the rhythm of my
performance. I find myself looking at my hands, then the ground, then
counting the props i'm holding and going, "uh, whoah."
> Still, you have just reminded me of the excellent "Dogs In Space". Well
And you've just reminded me of the excellent "Pigs In Spage" (or should I
say "Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggsssss iiiiiinnnnnn spaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!")
Clearly you went to school in ye olde days when exams were harder.
Definitely an A for 85%, and probably an A*.
Performing is different from practicing and there should be something
in your head that inhibits what comes out of your mouth when you are
performing in public. It might help if you start using some of your
chosen lines when you are in practice.
When you perform enough, you may be surprised how much that appears
unpredictable has actually happened lots of times before. There have
been many times when someone in the audience has complimented me on
how quick witted I have been with an apparantly off the cuff response.
Don't tell anyone, but the same unpredictable occurence / drop /
heckle / audience comment / whatever has happened so often that my
response is automatic. Quite possibly the unpredictable whatever was
actually engineered deliberately by myself.
Of course there is always a first time for everything and when
something really unpredictable does happen, it can be quite exciting.
Have you ever seen those industrial signs that say 322 days or whatever
without an accident? The numbers are either hand written in or written
on a card that is hung on the sign (see
for an example).
Create a sign that says "<blank> consecutive drop free shows" and put a
nice large number there. When you drop, sigh, go over to the sign,
remove/erase the number, replace it with 0, and go back to your act
a broken man.
There is also the old joke about having HELLO on your prop stand. When
you drop you move the O from the end to the beginning. Not the world's
greatest joke, but I thought it would be funny to reference this by
having SHITO on your prop stand.
In practice I whip out my middle fingers in a rather rude orientation in
order to communicate my emotions. . . . . . . Since performance is suppose
to communicate emotions too, I've found I can do this with similar sign
Look puzzled, then closely inspect the remaining undropped props.
Appear to spot something, dawn a "Ahh, of course" expression, point
out a small (actually nonexistent) sticker to the audience and say
"Made in Taiwan."
Or, pick it up and shake it, think about it a second and say "Well,
this one's clearly broken". Then throw it away.
That doesn't really work these days given the build quality of some
of the kit coming out of Taiwan these days.
Perhaps you should change it to "Made in America"
Or perhaps you should change it to "Made in the U.K."?
But I guess that wouldn't be very funny since nothing is really made in
Steven (Made in America) Ragatz
This is a fun game! Lets can some lines!
Making them up off the top of my (very bored) head, so I wouldn't qualify
them as 'best' but,
"Shhh, it's sleeping."
(To the dropped prop) "And STAY OUT!"
"Aw shoot! And that one was my favorite!"
"Well, this trick just got allot easier."
"Yes, and I also have that nightmare about forgetting to wear any pants."
The first time I played at a concert attended by my father-in-law I played
one of the finest concerts I've ever played, - it really went well ...
After the concert my wife asked her father, didn't he play well? ... and got
the answar "yeah, some parts were really good, but he missed a key!"
> These are obviously stretching it a bit, but it's still kind of odd.
It's more similar than you think. Both juggling and music is catched in some
paradigma of perfectionism - mostly due to TV and CDs etc.
People are expecting a flawless performance every time - just like on the
CDs. They never really take into consideration that TV-shows and CDs are
takes and retakes until it's perfect.
It's said among elite classical musicians that in the old days, the
greatest/legendary performers could have a off-day (and had them of course)
and still be legendary - today you don't have off-days!
Ad to that that the pro-musician society is the most competative enviroment
I've ever encountered (and one of the main reasons why I desided not to
become a pro) ... the motto is "getting someone down today, just means one
less to compete with" (no kidding).
So no ... you're not streching it.
We don't make much, but what we do make is built to last...
Actually, I've seend plenty of well written posts replied to with,
"Hahaha! You spellt 'reorganize' wrong!"
Damn right. The mess we made in Iraq is going to last a Hell of a long
time, though I grant we had a little help with that particular project ...
When they made me, they threw away the mould. But it grew back again.
(Yes, I know it's a stolen gag, geddoeverit already).