Lightbulbs! Lightbulbs! Lightbulbs!
Jon Hodapp
Be sure to post your own. Flip them, trade them, collect them.
Please note: these jokes can be considered to be politically incorrect.
Nearly every imaginable socio-eco-racio-sexualo-lifestylo type has been maligned.
The moderately easily offended should probably ignore this post.
P.S. A few of these are from the net; if you see your joke, congratulations!
Seriously, I assumed that what I boosted (only about 3) were common domain,
and could be re-told, especially as I am getting no money for this. Thanks.
P.P.S. This column contains no Polish jokes, and none should be posted, because
they beat Communism first. Thank you. : - )> [Smiley w/ a goatee]
Q. How many idiots does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Three, one to hold the light bulb, two to turn the ladder.
Q. How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Five. One to hold the lightbulb, and four to drink until the room starts to spin.
Q. How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one, but it took three U.S. advisors to tell them that it was burnt out in the
first place.
Q. How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. A fish
Q. How many JAPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Four, one to call daddy, one to call her boyfriend, and two to get the diet Fresca.
Q. How many system administrators does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None, they just deny everyone access to the room.
Q. How many homosexuals does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Three, one to screw it in and two to shriek Òfabulous!Ó
Q. How many WASPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One.
Q. How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. ÒThatÕs not funny!Ó
Q. How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None, they only screw the poor.
Q. How many Jewish grandmothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None, darling, IÕll just sit here in the dark, slowly going blind.
Q. How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. WhatÕs a lightbulb?
Q. How many sorority girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One. She just holds the bulb and the world turns about her.
Q. How many sorority pledges does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Sixty. One to change the bulb, 59 to clap and sing.
Q. How many fraternity/sorority members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Five. One to change the bulb, and four to make T-shirts.
Q. How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. As many as will fit in the El Camino.
Q. How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Two, but they have to be very small.
Q. How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulb?
A. If you know the number, you don't know where the light bulb is.
Q. How many Denver Broncos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One, unless it was a blow out, then all of them show up.
Q.. How many Kennedys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. None, at least until we get some collaborating witnesses.
Alex O. Smith
Q. How many real Vermonters does it take to screw in a light-bulb ?
A. 3, One to screw it in, and two to talk about how good the old one
looked.
________
Q. How many Psychologists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A. Only one, but the light bulb has really got to want to change.
________
That's All I can recall for now . . .
more later perhaps.
------------------------------------------ ---------------------------
\ ______ ___ _________ ______ \Alex.O...@Dartmouth.edu |
\/______ \ / / / ___ //____ \ \asm...@coos.dartmouth.edu |
\ ---\|/ / ___/__/ / / / / \---------------------------
\ / / / / / / / / / \ \"I refuse to engage in a |
\ / / / /_/ / \\ // / / /\ \ \ battle of wits with an |
\ /__/ \______/ __//__/ /__/ \__\ \ unarmed person" |
----------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Campbell, Scott Edward
Toodles,
Scottman the Maniac Bronco Fan