Lightbulbs! Lightbulbs! Lightbulbs!

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Jon Hodapp

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Feb 13, 1992, 4:36:32 PM2/13/92
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How many_______does it take to change a lightbulb?

Be sure to post your own. Flip them, trade them, collect them.
Please note: these jokes can be considered to be politically incorrect.
Nearly every imaginable socio-eco-racio-sexualo-lifestylo type has been maligned.
The moderately easily offended should probably ignore this post.

P.S. A few of these are from the net; if you see your joke, congratulations!
Seriously, I assumed that what I boosted (only about 3) were common domain,
and could be re-told, especially as I am getting no money for this. Thanks.

P.P.S. This column contains no Polish jokes, and none should be posted, because
they beat Communism first. Thank you. : - )> [Smiley w/ a goatee]


Q. How many idiots does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Three, one to hold the light bulb, two to turn the ladder.

Q. How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Five. One to hold the lightbulb, and four to drink until the room starts to spin.

Q. How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Only one, but it took three U.S. advisors to tell them that it was burnt out in the
first place.

Q. How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. A fish

Q. How many JAPs does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Four, one to call daddy, one to call her boyfriend, and two to get the diet Fresca.

Q. How many system administrators does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. None, they just deny everyone access to the room.

Q. How many homosexuals does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Three, one to screw it in and two to shriek Òfabulous!Ó

Q. How many WASPs does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. One.

Q. How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. ÒThatÕs not funny!Ó

Q. How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. None, they only screw the poor.

Q. How many Jewish grandmothers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. None, darling, IÕll just sit here in the dark, slowly going blind.

Q. How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. WhatÕs a lightbulb?

Q. How many sorority girls does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. One. She just holds the bulb and the world turns about her.

Q. How many sorority pledges does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Sixty. One to change the bulb, 59 to clap and sing.

Q. How many fraternity/sorority members does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Five. One to change the bulb, and four to make T-shirts.

Q. How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. As many as will fit in the El Camino.

Q. How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Two, but they have to be very small.

Q. How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulb?

A. If you know the number, you don't know where the light bulb is.

Q. How many Denver Broncos does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. One, unless it was a blow out, then all of them show up.

Q.. How many Kennedys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. None, at least until we get some collaborating witnesses.

Alex O. Smith

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Feb 21, 1992, 12:35:47 AM2/21/92
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To add to the list . . .

Q. How many real Vermonters does it take to screw in a light-bulb ?

A. 3, One to screw it in, and two to talk about how good the old one
looked.

________

Q. How many Psychologists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

A. Only one, but the light bulb has really got to want to change.

________

That's All I can recall for now . . .
more later perhaps.

------------------------------------------ ---------------------------
\ ______ ___ _________ ______ \Alex.O...@Dartmouth.edu |
\/______ \ / / / ___ //____ \ \asm...@coos.dartmouth.edu |
\ ---\|/ / ___/__/ / / / / \---------------------------
\ / / / / / / / / / \ \"I refuse to engage in a |
\ / / / /_/ / \\ // / / /\ \ \ battle of wits with an |
\ /__/ \______/ __//__/ /__/ \__\ \ unarmed person" |
----------------------------------------- ---------------------------

Campbell, Scott Edward

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Feb 29, 1992, 11:39:06 PM2/29/92
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Judging by your sense of humor, you are an unarmed man!!!
Toodles,
Scottman the Maniac Bronco Fan
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