nursery rhymes
Ashok Kumar
Mary had a little sheep
With the sheep she went to sleep
The sheep turned out to be a ram
Mary had a little lamb.
Kelley Miller
Mary had a little lamb
It fattened as it grew
And when it died sweet Mary cried
And dined on Mutton stew...
Mary had a little lamb
Its stash was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
They both enjoued the blow...
(George Carlin)
Baa, Baa black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
One for my master, ande one for my dame,
And one for the government (taxes are a pain!!)
Little Baby Bunting,
Daddy's gone a-hunting
The game warden has took him in
The season still had not begin
--
*...your Friendly Neighborhood Atheist // "Peter...PETER!! I can see *
* the KelleyMan:Kelley L. Miller // your house from here!" *
* ae...@yfn.ysu.edu // Jesus Christ, from the cross *
****************Know God...No peace. No God...Know peace.****************
Fil Feit
Mary went down to the pond,
Upon the ice to frisk.
Wasn't she a little fool,
Her little *
-f2
lawrence finkel cis stnt
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and whey.
When along came a spider
who sat down beside her
And Muffy stomped the little bastard with her combat boots.
Mary Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells
and cockle shells
And a row of fuckin' petunias.
Wee Willie Winkie
Played with his dinkie.
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
Then she found out about NORPLANT
now once again she can screw.
Rub a dub dub
three men in a tub.
A butcher ,
a baker,
and some other faker
with a candle up his ass.
Little Jack Horner
sat in the corner
eating his pumkin pie.
He stuck in his thumb
and pulled out a plum
and said "What the fuck is this shit doing in pumkin pie?"
Hickory dickory dock
Come here and sit on my cock,
I dont think its dead
if you rub its bald head
it soon will be hard as a rock.
--
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
# Lawrence Finkel: lxf...@hertz.njit.edu #
# "Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced." #
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
Richard Hempsey
- In a previous article, as...@regulus.Inria.Fr (Ashok Kumar) says:
-
- >Mary had a little sheep
- >With the sheep she went to sleep
- >The sheep turned out to be a ram
- >Mary had a little lamb.
-
- Mary had a little lamb
- It fattened as it grew
- And when it died sweet Mary cried
- And dined on Mutton stew...
-
- Mary had a little lamb
- Its stash was white as snow
- And everywhere that Mary went
- They both enjoued the blow...
- (George Carlin)
-
- Baa, Baa black sheep, have you any wool?
- Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
- One for my master, ande one for my dame,
- And one for the government (taxes are a pain!!)
-
- Little Baby Bunting,
- Daddy's gone a-hunting
- The game warden has took him in
- The season still had not begin
Mary had a little lamb,
With her it used to sleep.
The lamb turned out to be a ram
And Mary had a sheep.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch poor rover a bone.
When she bent over,
Rover drover her,
'Cuz Rover had a bone of his own.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Richard at ri...@knoware.ersys.edmonton.ab.ca (preferred)
Hempsey at ri...@ersys.edmonton.ab.ca
-------------------------------------------------------------------
THOMAS EDWIN SCHMIDLIN
rence finkel cis stnt) writes:
>In article <1992Aug20.1...@dxcern.cern.ch> as...@regulus.Inria.Fr (Asho
k Kumar) writes:
>>
>>Mary had a little sheep
>
If I can rememeber my Dice correctly:
Mary , Mary, quite contrary
Trim that pussy, it's so damn hairy
Georgie Porgie, pudding pie
Blew his load in his girlfriends eye
When that lid was dried and shut
Georgie fucked that one eyed slut
Jack and Jill went up the hill
Each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two fifty
That fucking whore
Little Miss Muffet
sat on a tuffet
eating her curds and whey
along came a spider
and sat down beside her and said
HEY! What's in the bowl bitch?
Little boy blew
He needed the money
Mary had a little lamb
She kept in her back yard
When she took her panties off
His wooly dick got hard
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Eating a pizza pie
He shit pepperoni
Blew his friend Tony
And wiped his mouth on his tie
Hickory Dickory Dock
This chick was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I dropped my goo
and dumped the bitch off on the next block
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack burnt off his fucking dick
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe
She had so many kids
Her uterus fell out
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to her cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone
When she bent over, Rover took over
She got a bone of her own
Little Bo Peep
Fucked a sheep
Blew a horse
Licked his feet
She ate his ass so very nice
Tounged his balls not once, but twice
Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
So he ignored her hairy snatch
and licked her asshole clean
Well, that's all I can remeber now. Fprgive typsos nad stuf
--
Tom Schmidlin DEEP THOUGHTS: By Jack Handy - Whenever I see something
TE...@LEHIGH.EDU screech across a room and latch onto a guy's neck,
215-758-0865 and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have
to laugh because, What is that thing?
Darrell Carder
Her daddy shot it dead.
Now she takes it to school with here,
Between two slices of bread.
-------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
In heaven there is no BEER, that's why we drink
it here. And when we're gone from here, our
friends will be drinking all our beer.
--------------------------------------------------
Darrell Carder, Motorola DSP
--------------------------------------------------------
FRANK D N
Mary had a little lamb
That always was a gruntin'
So she tied it to the fence one day
And kicked it's little...
NO NO NO AAAaargh...
sorry, i'm much better now
--
David Frank <fra...@underdog.ee.wits.ac.za>
University of the Witwatersrand, Johannesburg
Chris Goosen
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and wey
when along came a spider
and sat down beside her
so she beat it to death with her spoon.
Cheers
Chris
lawrence finkel cis stnt
and said "What the fuck is a tuffet, huh?"
Jeremy C. Holtgrave
Sat on her tuffett
Drinking her gasoline.
Along came a spider
With a little Cricket Lighter
And blew her to smithereens.
=====================jhol...@scgraph.afit.af.mil==============================
Jeremy Holtgrave "Besides, we have more guns and bombs
Air Force Institute of Technology than you."
Wright-Patterson AFB, Ohio
===============================================================================
Geoff Green
: Little Miss Muffett
: Sat on her tuffett
: Drinking her gasoline.
:
: Along came a spider
: With a little Cricket Lighter
: And blew her to smithereens.
How about:-
Little Miss Muffett
Sat on her tuffett
Eating her Irish Stew.
Along came a spider
who sat down beside her
so she ate him too.
Geoff.
--
Geoff Green.
Snail Mail :- E-Mail :-
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
4/8 Dennis st, ins...@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au
Clayton Victoria, ins...@lindblat.cc.monash.edu.au
Australia. 3861. gre...@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
(03) 562 9849.
#include <std_disclamer.h>
#include <witty_quote.h>
James Dare
>In article <9ZkTPB...@ersys.edmonton.ab.ca> ri...@ersys.edmonton.ab.ca (Richard Hempsey) writes:
>>ae...@yfn.ysu.edu (Kelley Miller) writes:
>>- In a previous article, as...@regulus.Inria.Fr (Ashok Kumar) says:
[snip]
>>Old Mother Hubbard
>>Went to the cupboard
>>to fetch poor rover a bone.
>>
>>When she bent over,
>>Rover drover her,
>>'Cuz Rover had a bone of his own.
The way I originally heard it was
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch poor rover a bone.
But when she bent over,
Rover took over
And gave her a bone of his own.
(I think this version scans a little better)
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| James A. Dare | Hammered a screwdriver into my ear, to my brain. |
| E-mail: | I'm watchin' my life swirl down the drain |
| jd...@math.rutgers.edu | And I'm feelin' about as Abel as Cain |
| Snail-mail: | But I guess that that's the price of fame |
| P.O. Box 4104 | When you're destined to live on a STREET OF SHAME! |
| Highland Park, NJ | --Foetus |
| 08904-4104 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| | I saw an x-ray of a girl passing gas! |
| | --Butthole Surfers |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.|
| -- Vice President Dan Quayle |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Mark Kovarski
>In article <1992Aug24.1...@newsgate.sps.mot.com> gib...@chdasic.sps.mot.com writes:
>>Old Mother Hubbard
>>To give the dog a bone
>>When she lent over
>>the dog bent over
>>and gave her a bone of his own
>
>It really goes like this (From ADC's Dice Rules)
>
>Old mother Hubbard
>Went to the cupboard
>To get her old dog a bone
>When she bent over
>ROVER took over (oh!)
>She got a bone of her own!
>
>Yeah good ol' Mother Goose, remember her? I fucked her, oh!
Mary, Mary quite contrary trim that pussy it's so damn hairy!!! OOOO
Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,
had a wife loved to beat her
smacked her twice across the face,
fucked her ass,
and went to bed!! OOOOOO
Here is another one:
Jack and Joel went up the Hill,
both with a buck and a quarter,
Joel came down with two fifty. Ohhhhh
The fuckin' whore.
Little boy blew, HE NEEDED THE MONEY. Ohhhhh
Three blind mice, see how they run. Where the fuck are they goin'?
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack burned off his fucking dick!
Here a few mode "nude" poem from the king of comedians (Andrew D. Clay):
Twikle, twinkle little star how I wonder how you are.
Shine upon the parking lot as I eat my girldfriends twat. Ohhhh
More to come......Mark K.
E-Mail: kova...@zooid.guild.org
Paul
Warning: May be offensive...
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey,
along came a spider and sat down besider, and said
"Hey, what's in the bowl bitch?"
Mary had a little lamb, she kept in her back yard,
when she took her panties off, his wolly dick got hard.
Little Boy Blew, he needed the money. Uh-ooooooh.
Hickory dickory dock, some chick was sucking my cock
the clock stuck two, I dropped my goo,
I dumped the bitch on the next block.
Georgy Porgey, pudding and pie
jerked off in his girlfreinds eye
when her eye was dried and shut
Georgy fucked that one eyed slut.
__
Not a nursery rhyme, but another Dice joke:
What's the definition of Vagina?
It's the box that a Penis comes in.
Uh-oooooh.
Adrian Hurt
>
>Old Mother Hubbard
>Went to the cupboard
>to fetch poor rover a bone.
>
>But when she bent over,
>Rover took over
>And gave her a bone of his own.
This, I believe, is one of several "altered" nursery rhymes by Richard
Digance, one of the U.K.'s best comedians (IMHO). I don't know if he is
the original author, but he seems to think so. Here are a couple more:
Rock-a-bye baby, in a tree top.
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.
I was that babe, and what bothers me
Is why Mum and Dad left me up a tree.
Sing a song of sixpence, a pocketful of rye.
Four-and-twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened, the shrivelled blackbirds sat
Saying "Alright then, what rotten joker did a thing like that?"
--
"Keyboard? How quaint!" - M. Scott
Adrian Hurt | JANET: adr...@uk.ac.hw.cs
UUCP: ..!uknet!cs.hw.ac.uk!adrian | ARPA: adr...@cs.hw.ac.uk
Mark Baldwin
Four-and-twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
Cause they all burst and made a mess of guts & worms & shit.
)_ _ -------------------------------------------
/ ) ) _ / Mark Baldwin - ma...@sparky.nwra.com
/ / / / / /\_ /_/ Northwest Research Associates, Bellevue, WA
/ / /_(_/_/ (_/ \__ -------------------------------------------
oper...@vax.oxford.ac.uk
> In article <goosen.21...@cc.und.ac.za> goo...@cc.und.ac.za (Chris Goosen) writes:
>>Hello there
>>
>>Little Miss Muffet
Here's some more.....
There was an old lady
who lived in a shoe,
who has so many children
her uterus fell out.....
or
Old Mother Hubbard
went to the cupboard
to give the poor dog a bone
but when she bent over
the dog took over and gave
her a bone of his own...
8-)
************************************************
* Mark at Oxford University Computing Services *
* Email - O...@UK.AC.OX.VAX anytime.... *
************************************************
"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and
finds himself no wiser then before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of
murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by
their ignorance the hard way."
-- Kurt Vonnegut, "Cats Cradle"
Mark Kovarski
"nude poems" and he is outrageous. Ask any lovely female and she will tell ya.
Mark K.
E-Mail: kova...@zooid.guild.org
RAYMOND GABIN , TRIUMF OPERATIONS
for his three wishes.
Lep: But under one condition: whatever you ask for, your neighbour will
get twice as much.
man: ( who hates his neighbour) I want a huge 20 room mansion.
Pouf ! A mansion appears on his piece of land. Pouf ! Pouf ! Two huge mansions
appear on his neighbour's land.
man: I want twelve beautiful women.
Pouf ! 12 women appear next to him.Pouf ! Pouf! 24 beautiful women appear next
to his neighbour.
After a long silence, the man asks for his final wish:
man: I want my sexual desire decreased by 50 %.
C Dyt
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children, her c**t fell out.
Well I liked it anyway.
che...@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au
> In article <Aug.28.17.19....@math.rutgers.edu> jd...@math.rutgers.edu (James Dare) writes:
>>
>>Old Mother Hubbard
>>Went to the cupboard
>>to fetch poor rover a bone.
>>
>>But when she bent over,
>>Rover took over
>>And gave her a bone of his own.
>
> This, I believe, is one of several "altered" nursery rhymes by Richard
> Digance, one of the U.K.'s best comedians (IMHO). I don't know if he is
> the original author, but he seems to think so. Here are a couple more:
>
> Rock-a-bye baby, in a tree top.
> When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.
> I was that babe, and what bothers me
> Is why Mum and Dad left me up a tree.
>
> Sing a song of sixpence, a pocketful of rye.
> Four-and-twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
> When the pie was opened, the shrivelled blackbirds sat
> Saying "Alright then, what rotten joker did a thing like that?"
I believe the last line is:
Saying "Alright lads, a joke's a joke, what rotten sod did that?"
>
> --
> "Keyboard? How quaint!" - M. Scott
>
> Adrian Hurt | JANET: adr...@uk.ac.hw.cs
> UUCP: ..!uknet!cs.hw.ac.uk!adrian | ARPA: adr...@cs.hw.ac.uk
DAB
James Gillespie
>If you think Richard Digance is funny, try Andrew Dice Clay. He calls those
>"nude poems" and he is outrageous. Ask any lovely female and she will tell ya.
Have you ever seen Richard Digance's act? "Nude poems" are the high
point of the Diceman's material; they are the lowpoint of Digance's.
No, I'm not flaming anyone's morality, taste or hairstyle; just
pointing out that as a whole, these two comedians have completely
different styles and material. Nuff sed.
ObJoke:
I think everybody here already knows every joke in existence,
so here's a goledn oldie:
#15!!!
Jim Gillespie ----------------------------------------------------
j...@sbil.co.uk Salomon Brothers International Limited
+44 71 721 2672 ---------------------------------------------------
"Three strikes and you're history, kiddo!" - Calvin's mom
Mark Kovarski
The funniest british comedian was Benny Hill. To be honest with you, I really
hate british comedy shows. I think they are lame beyond believe. I like
Andrew Dice Clay, Married with Children, Night Court (Dan Fielding) etc.
Those are, in my opinion, the funniest shows around. They show here some
british comedy shows and I really wonder how long they have been boring
people to death with those. Are there any funny, nasty, dirty, pig-dog shows
in britain?
Let me know...
Regards,
Mark K.
Scott Alfter
>The funniest british comedian was Benny Hill. To be honest with you, I really
>hate british comedy shows. I think they are lame beyond believe.
The Brits just have a slightly different sense of humor...that's all.
I lived there for two years...liked Spitting Image quite a bit. I'd
heard that D.C. Follies was supposed to be similar to Spitting Image,
so I tried watching it once or twice...was extremely disappointed.
D.C. Follies is nothing but politics...Spitting Image took potshots at
everything and everybody. (They even did a Star Trek parody!)
_/_ Scott Alfter Internet: sknk...@cs.unlv.edu
/ v \ Call the Skunk Works BBS today!
(IIe ( (702) 894-9619 300-14400 V.32bis Apple II/IBM/Star Trek/Aerospace
\_^_/ Ask me about SoftDAC--digital audio for your IIe/IIc! Apple II Forever!
TPAT...@estec.bitnet
most American humor is extremely crass and obvious and they still don't under-
stand it - hence all the canned laughter!!! Whereas British humor is much drier
and subtle and sarcastic. We also don't need to swear to make a joke funny,
unlike American "comedians" such as Eddie "if-it's-not-funny-say-mutha-fucka-
and-they'll -laugh-anyway" Murphy!!
But seriosuly folks...American humour is much closer to Continental humour,
whereas Brits have a sense of humour all their own!!! You have to to want to
live there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As for the person who thinks Benny Hill is the
greatest British comedian, he should listen to Mr Ben Elton's piece on the
world's greatest joke - big tits!! He's obviously one of those at whom it's
aimed!!!
Tim (wearing his asbestos suit)
RAYMOND GABIN , TRIUMF OPERATIONS
very little brainpower to understand. I certainly don't mean that you should
not watch them ( I enjoy Married With Children myself ), but English humour is
the best available at this time, shows like Yes Minister, Butterflies, Born in
the Manor, the Black Adder series, Dave Allen, Monty Python, Not the Nine
o'clock News, and so on... Some shows require a knowledge of British politics,
which is not reviewed by north americans news broadcasts. Nevertheless they
are very amusing, and light-years ahead of trash like Three's Company or Night
Court. Even the Simpsons have more to offer. So Cheer up, and give the
British shows another try. Have you seen Lovejoy, on the Arts and
Entertainment network, funny and informative: all information on antiques is
accurate!
FRED W. BACH
Well, Mark, silly things amuse silly minds. The shows you mentioned are
chiefly concerned (shall I say blatantly concerned) with SEX. No subtlty,
so that the average idiot can understand the show. Television comedy in the
USA is aimed at the *lowest* common intellectual denominator so that the
advertisers can reach the *most* people. There is little that is
upbuilding about shows like that. However, I will have to grant you that
those shows (along with Cheers) entertain a *lot* of people. Yet, a lot
of people are getting their minds scrambled so that all they think about
is sex, beer, and staying out of jail. (I will have to admit that Night
Court touches on the odd important social issues now and then).
I'd imagine that the reason you don't like the British Comedy (boring...)
is because you can't understand the subtlty and quick wit (or the accent)
in the British stuff. There's no one in the *world* that can use the English
Language like the British. Compare Webster's Dictionary with a real one,
like Oxford. We're taught in school over here NOT to use long sentences,
since people can't understand them. Well, right on. They can't. Very poor
linguistic skills. So we get fed the pap humor that only uses our visual
or sexual skills.
Benny Hill had some funny stuff, but a lot of it was *very* silly and
not really very intellectual. A great deal of it relied on sex to be
funny. (What many people forget is that there are many funny things in life
*other* than sex.) Benny Hill's comedy was slapstick stuff you could pick
up in an instant without thinking. Something like Fawlty Towers. Zany, but
not very intellectual, although there were attempts at linguistic witticism
on Fawlty Towers.
Now there is a show that runs now and again out here in Vancouver. I don't
know if it runs in your area, but it is called "Yes, Minister" and is a very
well written sit-com satire of what is like to be a politician in Cabinet and
have to deal with the Civil Service at the same time. It is a really good
poke at the foibles of government and makes very good use of the apparent
ineptitudes and inefficencies of government bureacracy. The language used
on the show is of the highest calibre, and, as such, probably cannot be
understood in all it subtleties by the typical American (or Canadian, for
that matter). It takes a wee bit of practice to get 'into' the show, but
once you do, and you know the personalities of the characters, it is the best
comedy currently on TV. My wife didn't understand it at first, and wondered
why I should watch such bafflegab, but after she paid attention to one show
and picked up on the personalities, she laughed her head off and woke up
the whole house (it comes on late a night here).
Apparently there are two types of audience when it comes to comedy:
the goofy-action type and the clever-linguistics type. I am of the latter.
If a 6-year old can do the acting or be the intended audience, then I
probably wouldn't like the comedy. A lot of Benny Hill stuff was of this
sort. Nothing on "Yes, Minister" is, and that's why I like it.
Fred W. Bach , Operations Group | Internet: mu...@erich.triumf.ca
TRIUMF (TRI-University Meson Facility) | Voice: 604-222-1047 loc 278/419
4004 WESBROOK MALL, UBC CAMPUS | FAX: 604-222-1074
University of British Columbia, Vancouver, B.C., CANADA V6T 2A3
These are my opinions, which should ONLY make you read, think, and question.
They do NOT necessarily reflect the views of my employer or fellow workers.
Darin Cowan (root)
>
> The funniest british comedian was Benny Hill. To be honest with you, I really
> hate british comedy shows. I think they are lame beyond believe.
You can type that and then...
> I like ... Married with Children, ... etc. Those are,... the funniest shows
> around.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You must live in a cultural vacuum or something.
I cannot imagine a show lamer, to use your words, than "married with
children". If that show is the epitome of American comedy, it is
demonstrable proof that Americans are in sad shape.
I have to admit, your message was the funniest one I've read in here in
a while.
+Rich
+> stand it - hence all the canned laughter!!! Whereas British humor is much drier
+> and subtle and sarcastic. We also don't need to swear to make a joke funny,
+> unlike American "comedians" such as Eddie "if-it's-not-funny-say-mutha-fucka-
+> and-they'll -laugh-anyway" Murphy!!
+>
+> But seriosuly folks...American humour is much closer to Continental humour,
+> whereas Brits have a sense of humour all their own!!! You have to to want to
+> live there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As for the person who thinks Benny Hill is the
+> greatest British comedian, he should listen to Mr Ben Elton's piece on the
+> world's greatest joke - big tits!! He's obviously one of those at whom it's
+> aimed!!!
+>
+> Tim (wearing his asbestos suit)
Tim needs an asbestos suit to shield him, as best as he can from the
flames to follow. This isn't one of them. In the process, of
commenting on this subject though, he caused us to need our exclamation
proof sunglasses...
--
Richard Everett -- plus...@wixer.cactus.org -- Austin, TX
-----------------------------------------------------------
The shortest distance between two points is a great circle.
Mark A Zabel
>ObJoke:
> I think everybody here already knows every joke in existence,
> so here's a goledn oldie:
>
> #15!!!
I'm not laughing. I guess you just don't know how to
tell a joke!!!
-Mark
CHEN JIA TYAN
The books were even better. The 2 editors did a great job.
--
\ /
\\ | // Chen JiaTyan
\ \_ _-' `-_ _/ / isc3...@nusunix1.nus.sg
\ `\_ / \ _/' / chen...@nusdiscs.bitnet
Mike Hammond
writes:
|> wow!! Every show you mention are pie-in-the-face type humour, requiring
|> very little brainpower to understand. I certainly don't mean that you should
|> not watch them ( I enjoy Married With Children myself ), but English humour is
|> the best available at this time, shows like Yes Minister, Butterflies, Born in
|> the Manor, the Black Adder series, Dave Allen, Monty Python, Not the Nine
|> o'clock News, and so on... Some shows require a knowledge of British politics,
|> which is not reviewed by north americans news broadcasts. Nevertheless they
|> are very amusing, and light-years ahead of trash like Three's Company or
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
|> Night Court. Even the Simpsons have more to offer. So Cheer up, and give
|> the British shows another try. Have you seen Lovejoy, on the Arts and
|> Entertainment network, funny and informative: all information on antiques is
|> accurate!
Interesting that you should feel that way about Three's Company, seeing as
how it's based on the British television series ``Man About The House''!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
| Mike Hammond | ``Yes, I'm...too wascally for Bugs Bunny, |
| Co-op Student | Too wascally for Bugs Bunny, |
| from the | So wascally...it's almost funny!'' |
| University of Waterloo | Right Said Fudd, |
| Math Faculty | ``I'm Too Wascally'' |
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
RAYMOND GABIN , TRIUMF OPERATIONS
that show was not all that good in the first place, at least comparedf to
better British shows. Similarly The Ropers -English version- was funnier than
the sad-excuse-for-a-laugh American version. Your point is well taken though!!
Clayton Miner
bomb! ;) ;) ;) ;)
Seriously...I hear/read something funny, I laugh...seems good enough for me.
Let's not recreate the debate at Oxford over wheich is better, American or
British humour, I'm too busy watching Who's Line Is It Anyway?...
Skeksis - Let me get this straight. I'm driving a 91 Geo and he's driving a
'93 Vette and you want me to drag? What are you, some kind of optimist?
Clayton Miner
TV SETS HAVE TWO KNOBS!!!!! ONE FOR VOLUME AND ONE TO CHANGE THE STATION!!!!
Why don't we let the troglodytes who *like* crap like Three's Company and
Married With Children watch what they like, and the people who like Black
Adder (I never saw the attraction but then, that's me) and Yes, Minister (and
the local PBS station droped the damn thing ARGH) watch what they like? As
for me, I don't care if it is British or American, there are show from both
sides of the ocean that I will watch and that I won't watch, and with the
exception of Dave Allen there isn't one comedian on *either* side of the ocean
that can hold a candle to Groucho Marx and his nemesis Chico...
Sorry if I worded that too strongly....
TPAT...@estec.bitnet
with Dear John USA which takes the original, quite funny Dear John series
and removes all the humourous elements totally! It's another example of
American TV networks trying to "improve" something and totally ruining it -
(just like StarTrek TNG). We Brits don't try and change programs like Roseanne
and MASH and Taxi - so why do Americans try and Americanise British sitcoms?
I mean, Cheers set in an English pub just wouldn't be the same!
All comments on a postcard please.....
Tim
Shirdi R. Prem
---------------------------------------------------
Hey, if you're looking for American sit-coms with subtle humor,
does anyone remember Newhart (the one in which he is a psychoanalyst
in Chicago, not the one where he is an inn-keeper in Vermont).
IMO, Newhart was quite subtle humor, hardly any pie-in-the-face scenes.
Among the recent crop, there was a series called "The Powers That Be"
(what happened to it??.....) on NBC. That was quite funny but subtle
too.
But hey, I like the other stuff as well! Saturday Night Live and
3's Company..... You gotta let your brain idle for a while when
you're watching them, but they are good for a laugh too.
OB-JOKEs :
------------------------------------------------------------------------
1st man : Looks like Jim will be in the hospital for a long time.
2nd man : Why? Did you see his doctor ??
1st man : No. I saw his nurse.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The latest statistics show that you have a 1 in 10000 chance of
being shot in New York City. In comparison, the New York State
lottery offers 1 in 500,000 odds.
Which means, if you walk out in NYC to buy a lottery ticket,
your odds of getting shot on the way are higher than your odds
of winning. Which, in turn means that if you make it to the
lottery store, you probably have already won!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Prem!
================================================================================
==== Flames to dev/null/here/is/a/quarter/go/buy/a/clue. ====
================================================================================
==== George Bush's New World Order : ====
==== Big White Hegemonists Bullying Little Brown Hegemonists. ====
================================================================================
FRED W. BACH
>Hey, folks, you want to know what the real humour behind this discussion is????
>
>TV SETS HAVE TWO KNOBS!!!!! ONE FOR VOLUME AND ONE TO CHANGE THE STATION!!!!
>
>Why don't we let the troglodytes who *like* crap like Three's Company and
>Married With Children watch what they like, and the people who like Black
>Adder (I never saw the attraction but then, that's me) and Yes, Minister (and
>the local PBS station droped the damn thing ARGH) watch what they like? As
>for me, I don't care if it is British or American, there are show from both
>sides of the ocean that I will watch and that I won't watch, and with the
>exception of Dave Allen there isn't one comedian on *either* side of the ocean
>that can hold a candle to Groucho Marx and his nemesis Chico...
>
>Sorry if I worded that too strongly....
>
Try to say that on alt.fan.letterman. Better get out your asbestos
suit first! :-) :-)
**** But you asked "Why don't we ..."
....and here's the answer: The reason we must speak out is that those of
us who have a more mature perspective on life need to inform those who don't
so that they won't let their minds rot any more than they have already.
Yes, they have the freedom to decide (and they must decide), but they must
make an informed choice. How's that for strong language ? !!! They
can tell me where to go if they like, but they will be informed first.
And I stand by my statement that, collectively, *no one* can use the
English language as expertly and effectively as the Brits. It's time
the educational systems in North America realized that. North America
is raising a generation of illiterate TV addicts ("vidiots") who can't
understand sentences of over a few words (*short* words, that is). Let
them listen *carefully* (use headphones to catch subtle quiet sounds) to
something as well done as _Yes, Minister_ or _Rumpole of the Bailey_ on PBS
or the _New Sherlock Holmes_ series starring Jeremy Brett (?) on A&E network.
The proper use of language is a dying art in North America. It can be
used to transmit serious information, but it can also be used to
communicate excellent humour. It's there if we listen and if we expand
our vocabulary. I mean, that's what they say life is about, isn't it,
namely, expanding our horizons, doing good for the human race, and maybe
having a little fun along the way ?