Sniglet = Any word which should be in the dictionary but isn't.
SNIGLETS ABOUT FOOD
Cornextortion = When you go to the movie theatre and ask for a small popcorn,
the guy behind the counter says, "for ONLY 25 cents more you can
get a large popcorn". Moviegoers, watch out for this common
Crispthian = Any actor who is hired basically because his name helps sell
the cereal, i.e. Captian Crunch. Snap, Crackle, and Pop from
"Rice Krispies" are also crispthians. No one would hire them
if their names were "Sputter", "Thutter", and "Whizz", would they?
Foodwinking = The practice of giving exotic names to otherwise mundane
products. For example, "Salsa Rio flavored Doritos"
Milkdudes = Any two milk duds fused together by accident.
Newtrons = The magnetized particles that amazingly hold some fig newtons
Oatamatopoiea = The sound that the cereal "Captain Crunch" makes when you
pour milk over it.
Snackmosphere = The 95% air inside bags of potato chips.
Sub-atomic toasticles = The little bits of toast that somehow always get
stuck on the stick of butter.
SNIGLETS ABOUT MAPS
Continentertinter = The person in a mapmaking company whose job is to
decide what color a specific country is going to be.
Gapiana = The little strip of land between the "You are now leaving"
and "You are now entering" signs when you cross from one state
Geosniglet = Any word that should be in the atlas but isn't.
Hawaska = In an atlas, the rectangular box which contains Hawaii and
Alaska and is located just off the coast of Arizona.
SNIGLETS ABOUT SHOPPING
Hereoglyph = A little stick figure on a mallmanac (see below) that tells you
where you are in a mall because you can't tell by yourself
because there is no face on it. (Often the words "You Are Here"
occur at the bottom of the hereoglyph)
Mallmanac = In a mall, the giant maze with blocks and numbers on it, otherwise
known as the "Directory".
Delusions of Greendeur = Sometimes products will try to pander to you
consciousness by claiming to be ozone friendly, environmentally-
safe, ... no animal testing required. These products are called
"Delusions of Greendeur". For example, Glad bags. It actually
says on the back of the box, "Can be incenerated safely,
providing more fuel value than wood or coal." What does this
mean? You can actually heat your house, cook with Glad bags?
Discombebopulated = Whenever you are driving along and you can't find a
house, and you have the address in your hand, and you can't
find the address, so you turn the radio down. Somehow, this
will help you find the house easier. If you ever find yourself
doing this, then you are discombebopulated.
Exxonerated = Lets say that a CERTAIN oil tanker captain gets cranked up
and wipes out the Alaskan coastline, but he only gets charged
with criminal mischief, which kind of sounds like all he did
was tape "kick me" signs to the backs of penguins. Well, then
you can describe that captain as "Exxonerated".
Flushmania = When you go into a public restroom, and the whole place
STINKS AS HELL, you flush ALL the toilets before doing
what YOU have to do. (Related to Flushamnesia = When you
forget to flush the toilet in a public restroom.)
Barfaroma = The stink that eminates from a person immediately after he has
The following list was sent to me from GPF103%PSUVM....@cunyvm.cuny.edu:
/* SNIGLET EXEC */
/* Sniglet */
/* (SNIG lit) - n. Any word that doesn't appear in the */
/* dictionary, but should. */
/* Book written by Richard Hall and friends. */
/* Published by Collier Books, Macmillan Publishing Company */
/* Original Author of Exec unknown. */
/* Modified 01/20/88 by The Fiend (RCW101@PSUVM) */
[lots of stuff deleted - don't worry, there weren't any sniglets here]
=>abzot (AB zaht) - n. The device in a currency changer that
determines whether a bill is too wrinkled or not.
=>accordionated (ah KOR de on ay tid) - adj. Being able to
drive and refold a road map at the same time.
=>aeroma (ayr OH ma) - n. The odor emanating from an
exercise room after an aerobics workout.
=>aeropalmics (ayr o PALM iks) - n. The study of wind
resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car
=>alponium (al PO nee um) - n. (chemical symbol: Ap) Initial
blast of odor upon opening a can of dog food.
=>ambiportalous (am bih PORT ahl us) - adj. Possessing the
uncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and
ALWAYS pushing the locked one.
=>anaception (an a SEP shun) - n. The body's ability to
actually affect television reception by moving about the
=>antalixic (and a LIK sik) - n. One who passes over
licorice jelly beans.
=>anticiparcellate (an ti si PAR sel ate) - v. Waiting until
the mailman is several houses down the street before picking
up the mail, so as not to appear too anxious.
=>aquadextrous (ak wa DEKS trus) - adj. Possessing the
ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
=>aqualibrium (ak wa LIB re um) - n. The point where the
stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height,
thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the
nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
=>arachnidiot (ar ak NI di ot) - n. A person, who, having
wandered into an "invisible" spider web begins gyrating and
flailing about wildly.
=>attrinyl (a TRY nil) - n. (chemical symbol: At) A black,
bulletproof, totally inflexible type of plastic, used
primarily in covers of pay phone directories.
=>bandile (BAN dyl) - n. The thin red strip one pulls to
release a Band-Aid.
=>bargarcs (BAR jarks) - n. The streaks on a car's
windshield from faulty wipers.
=>bathquake (BATH kwake) - n. The violent quake that rattles
the entire house when the water faucet is turned to a
=>bevameter (BEV a meet uhr) - n. (a unit of measure) The
distance a coaster, attached to the bottom of a wet glass,
will travel before it falls back to earth.
=>bleemus (BLEE mus) - n. The disgusting film on the top of
soups and cocoa that sit out for too long.
=>blibula (BLIH byu luh) - n. The spot on a dog's stomach
which, when rubbed, causes his leg to rotate wildly.
=>blindelize (BLIN dul eyes) - v. To scratch an album beyond
recognition trying to maneuver it over the record spindle.
=>blithwapping (BLITH wap ing) - v. Using anything BUT a
hammer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes, lamp
bases, door stops, etc.
=>blivett (BLIH vit) - v. To turn one's pillow over and
over, looking for the cool spot.
=>blotch (blahch) - v. To slap the bottom of a catsup bottle
with increasing intensity, ultimately resulting in a
=>bobblogesture (bah blo JES cher) - n. The classroom
activity of not knowing an answer but raising one's hand
anyway (after determining a sufficient number of other
people have also raised their hands, thus reducing the
likelihood of actually being called on).
=>boslum (BAHZ lum) - n. The small metal ring on a ballpoint
pen that separates the top half (MELANEXUS) from the bottom
=>bovilexia (bo vil EKS e uh) - n. The uncontrollable urge
to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" every time you
pass a cow.
=>brattled (BRAT uld) - adj. The unsettling feeling, at a
stoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up
beside you is making fun of you.
=>brimplet (BRIM plit) - n. A frayed shoelace that must be
moistened to pass through a shoe eyelet.
=>bucklint (BUCK lint) - n. The fine red and blue threads
running through new dollar bills.
=>buculets (BUK u lets) - n. The bumper guards on the
underside of a toilet seat.
=>bumperglints (BUMP ur glintz) - n. The small reflective
obstacles in the middle of interstate highways which
supposedly keep drivers awake and on the track.
=>burbulation (ber byu LAY shun) - n. The obsessive act of
opening and closing a refrigerator door in an attempt to
catch it before the little automatic light comes on.
=>bursploot (BER sploot) - v. To position one's thumb at the
end of a garden hose to increase the water pressure.
=>busblender (BUS blen dur) - v. The device at the front of
the bus that tosses your fare around for awhile, then
=>cabnicreep (KAB nih kreep) - n. The structural condition
in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another
=>careena (ka REEN uh) - n. Any mangled or missing piece of
highway guard rail.
=>carperpetuation (KAR pur pet u a shun) - n. The act, when
vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at
least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
ONE MORE CHANCE.
=>cereoallocative (ser e o AL o ka tuv) - adj. Describes the
ability of a seasoned breakfast eater to establish a perfect
cereal/ banana ratio, assuring there will be at least one
slice of banana left for the final spoonful of cereal.
=>chalktrauma (CHAWK traw ma) - n. The body's reaction to
someone running his fingernails down a chalkboard.
=>charp (charp) - n. The green, mutant potato chip found in
=>cheedle (CHEE dul) - n. The residue left on one's
fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.
=>chingrip (CHIN grip) - n. The area where the chin meets
the neck. Used for holding the pillow when slipping on a
=>choconiverous (chahk o NIV ur us) - adj. The tendency when
eating a chocolate Easter bunny to bite off the head first.
=>chwads (chwadz) - n. The small, disgusting wads of bubble
gum commonly found beneath table and counter tops.
=>cigadent (SIG a dent) - n. Any accident involving a
cigarette: for instance when it sticks to your lips while
your fingers slide off and get burned.
=>cinemuck (SI ne muk) - n.The combination of popcorn, soda,
and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie
=>circlocryogenic theory (sur klo kri o JEN ik THE ur ree)
- n. Postulates that no matter which way you turn a glass of
ice water, the cubes will to the back. (Further research has
established t hat one piece of ice will always stick to the
bottom of any empty glass until tapped, at which point it
will come forward and smack the drinker on the end of his
=>circuloin technique (SUR kew loyn tek NEEK) - n. The
popular approach to steak dining in which one eats around
the edges first, then works his way toward the middle.
=>clumfert (KLUM furt) - n. The invisible extra step at the
top and bottom of a staircase. Usually materializes when
one is carrying a large bag of groceries.
=>coeggulant (ko EG yu lent) - n. The white things in a
plate of scrambled eggs.
=>conagraphs (KOHN a grafs) - n. The raised relief squares
on an ice cream cone.
=>creedles (KRE dulz) - n. The colony of microscopic
indentations on a golfball.
=>crummox (KRUM oks) - n. The cereal that gets caught
between the inner lining and the side of the box. Also, the
leftover amount at the bottom. (Not enough to eat, but too
much to throw away. )
=>curbswell (KERB swel) - n. A seismic condition in which
the curb on the passenger side of a car will rise and wedge a
car door. The passenger must then climb out and stand on the
curb until the swelling goes down.
=>dasho (DA show) - n. The area between a car's windshield
and dashboard, where coins, pencils, etc. cannot be humanly
=>deterrency (de TER ren see) - n. The ruined currency found
in pants pockets after laundering.
=>detruncus (de TRUNK us) - n. The embarrassing phenomenon
of losing one's bathing shorts while diving into a swimming
=>disconfect (dis kon FECT) - v. To sterilize the piece of
candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow
assuming this will "remove" all the germs.
=>door slinky (dor SLIN kee) - n. The springy device
attached to the back of a door that prevents the door from
marring the wall.
=>dublectate (duh BLEK tayt) - v. To misplace one's
eyeglasses and eventually discover them atop one's head.
=>ecnalubma (ek na LUB ma) - n. A rescue vehicle which can
only be seen in the rear-view mirror.
=>elbonics (el BON iks) - n. The action of two people
maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
=>elecelleration (el a cel er AY shun) - n. The mistaken
notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster
it will arrive.
=>equatt (E kwat) - n. The pastime of trying to balance the
light switch in the exact middle of the wall plate, so that
the light is half on, half off.
=>erdu (UHR dew) - n. The leftover accumulation of rubber
particles after erasing a mistake on a test paper.
=>escalasticize (esk a LAST i size) - v. To lean against the
rail of a moving escalator and have the sensation of being
pulled in t he opposite
=>euneeblic (you NEE blik) - n. A person who refuses to
believe an "out of order" sign and risks his money anyway.
=>expressholes (eks PRES holz) - n. People who try to sneak
more than the "eight items or less" into the express
=>fenderberg (FEN dur burg) - n. The large glacial deposits
that form on the insides of car fenders during snowstorms.
=>flannister (FLAN is tur) - n. The plastic yoke that holds
a six-pack of beer together.
=>flen (flen) - n. (chemical symbol: Fl) The black crusty
residue that accumulates on the necks of old catsup bottles.
=>fleptic (FLEP tik) - adj. The tendency of soup and dog
food lids to slip into the can upon opening.
=>flirr (flur) - n. A photograph that features the camera
operator's finger in the corner.
=>floles (floz) - n. The extra (fourth and fifth) holes in
notebook paper. Created in the hopes that oneday mankind
will perfect a "five ring binder."
=>flopcorn (FLOP korn) - n. The unpopped kernels at the
bottom of the cooker.
=>flotion (FLO shun) - n. The tendency when sharing a
waterbed to undulate for five minutes every time the other
=>flotta factor (FLAH ta FAK tur) - n. The proven
scientific fact that at a self-service pump, the last ten
cents take longer to reach the tank than the first twelve
=>flowfright (FLO frite) - n. The desperate attempt by a
homeowner to talk his overflowing toilet into backing down.
=>fluggling (FLUG ul ing) - v. The dangerous practice, in a
darkened room, of using one's finger to guide the end of an
electrical plug into a wall socket.
=>fraznit (FRAHS nit) - n. Any string hanging from an
article of clothing, which when pulled causes the article to
=>frust (frust) - n. The small line of debris that refuses
to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person
across the room until he finally decides to give up and
sweep it under the rug.
=>furbling (FER bling) - v. Having to wander through a maze
of ropes at an airport of bank even when you are the only
person in line.
=>furnidents (FER nih dents) - n. The indentations that
appear in carpets after a piece of furniture has been
=>furterus zone (fer TER us zohn) - n. The empty stretches
of bun on either end of a hot dog.
=>garmites (GAR mitz) - n. Those items of clothing that fit
perfectly in the store, but somehow shrink on the way home.
=>genderplex (JEN dur pleks) - n. The predicament of a
person in a theme restaurant who is unable to determine his
or her designated bathroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).
=>gertatious (gur TAY shus) - adj. Having the adolescent
fear that hanging one's arm over the bed at night will mean
being dragged under.
=>gimplexus (gim PLEK sis) - n. The rear area of the thighs,
which must be peeled from the car seat on hot summer days.
=>gladhandling (GLAD han dling) - n. To attempt, with
frustrating results, to find and separate the ends of a
plastic-sandwich or trash bag.
=>glantics (GLAN tiks) - n. Two people, who, while making
out, open their eyes at the same time to see if the other
=>glarpo (GLAR po) - n. The juncture of the ear and skull
where pencils are stored.
=>gleemule (GLEE mule) - n. (a unit of measure) One unit of
toothpaste, measured from bristle to bristle. (Not to be
confused with GLEEMITES, which are petrified deposits of
toothpaste found in sinks.)
=>glutetic chair (glew TET ik chair) - adj. A twentieth-
century design chair, found most often in movie theaters.
The main feature of the Glutetic chair is its ability to
keep folding up underneath a person as he tries to force it
down with his rear.
=>gnarmblum (NARM blum) - n. The dry wrinkly area at the end
of the elbow.
=>grackles (GRAK elz) - n. The wrinkles that appear on the
body after staying in water too long.
=>greelite (GREE lite) - n. The eerie glow that emanates
from beneath escalator steps.
=>grinion (GRIN yun) - n. The unsightly indentation in the
middle of a belt when it has been worn too long.
=>gription (GRIP shun - n. The sound of sneakers squeaking
against the floor during basketball games.
=>grisknob (GRIS nahb) - n. The end of a chicken drumstick
which always gives the appearance of having more chicken
=>gromaxes (GROM ack sis) - n. The inside area of the knees
used to grip the steering wheel when holding a road map.
=>gurmlish (GURM lish) - n. The red warning flag at the top
of a club sandwich toothpick which prevents the person from
biting into it and puncturing the roof of his mouth.
=>hangle (HAN gul) - n. A cluster of coat hangers.
=>hempannant (HEM pan ent) - n. Any coattail, cuff, or dress
hem dangling outside the door of a moving vehicle.
=>hozone (HO zohn) - n. The place where one sock in every
laundry load disappears to.
=>hudnut (HUD nut) - n. The bolt left over when one has
finished reassembling a bicycle or car engine.
=>hydralation (hi dra LAY shun) - n. Acclimating oneself to
a cold swimming pool by bodily regions: toe-to-knee,
knee-to-waist, waist-to-elbow, elbow-to-neck.
=>hystioblogination (HIS te o blahg in AY shun) - n. The act
of trying to identify a gift by holding it to your ear and
=>idiot box (ID e ot bahks) - n. The part of the envelope
that tells a person WHERE to palce the stamp when they can't
quite figure it out for themselves.
=>ignisecond (IG ni sek und) - n. The overlapping moment of
time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain
is saying "my keys are in there!"
=>jiffylust (JI phee lust) - n. The inability to be the
first person to carve into a brand-new beautiful jar of
=>kedophobia (ked oh FO be uh) - n. The fear of having one's
sneakers eaten by the teeth on the escalator.
=>knimpel (NIM pul) - n. The missing last piece of a jigsaw
=>krogt (kraht) - n. (chemical symbol: Kr) The metallic
silver coating found on fast-food game cards.
=>lactomangulation (LAK to man gyu LAY shun) - n.
Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly
that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
=>laminites (LAM in itz) - n. Those strange people who show
up in the photo sections of brand-new wallets.
=>lotshock (LAHT shahk) - n. The act of parking your car,
walking away, and then watching it roll past you.
=>lub (lub) - n. The small deposit of spinach that lodges
itself between one's teeth.
=>McMonia (muk MOAN ee uh) - n. (chemical symbol: Mc)
Noxious gas created by fast-food employee mopping under your
table while you're eating.
=>maggit (MAG it) - n. Any of the hundreds of subscription
cards that fall from the pages of a magazine.
=>magniphobia ( mag ni FO be uh) - n. The fear that the
object in the side mirror is MUCH MUCH closer than it
=>magnocartic (mag no KAR tik) - n. Any automobile that,
when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
=>manglazette (mang la ZET) - n. The newspaper at the top of
the stack that everyone passes over, believing the ones
beneath have better or fresher news.
=>marp (marp) - n. The impossible-to-find beginning of a
roll of cellophane tape.
=>mattrescotting ( MAT res kot ing) - n. The pattern of gray
and white lines on an institutional mattress.
=>maypop (MAY pop) - n. A bald tire.
=>memnants (MEM nents) - n. The chipped or broken M&M's at
the bottom of the bag.
=>merferator (MUR fur ay ter) - n. The cardboard core in a
toilet tissue roll.
=>methylphobia (meth il FO be uh) - n. The fear that you are
going to have to pay the one cent you over-pumped at the
=>mittsquinter (MIT skwint ur) - n. A ball player who looks
into his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow, the
cause of the error lies there.
=>mophenes (MO feenz) - n. The semi-truck headlights that
invade your motel room at three in the morning.
=>motspur (MOT sper) - n. The pesky fourth wheel on a
shopping cart that refuses to cooperate with the others.
=>mowmuffins ( MO muh finz) - n. The dried accumulation of
grass on the underside of lawnmowers.
=>mumphreys (MUM freez) - n. (a useless sniglet) Those
strange extra digits you find on push-button phones.
=>musquirt (MUS kwirt) - n. The water that comes out of the
initial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.
=>mustgo (MUST go) - n. Any item of food that has been
sitting in the refrigerator so long that it has become a
=>napjerk (NAP jurk) - n. The sudden convulsion of the body
just as one is about to doze off.
=>narcolepulacy (nar ko LEP ul ah see) - n. The contagious
action of yawning, causing everyone else in sight to also
=>neglintics (ne GLIN tiks) - n. The study of why dark lint
attaches itself to light clothing and vice versa.
=>neonphancy (ne ON fan see) - n. A fluorescent light bulb
struggling to come to life.
=>nerkle (NUR kel) - n. A person who leaves Christmas lights
up all year.
=>nevitts (NEV itz) - n. The sandpaper-like deposits on a
=>nistols ( NIZ tolz) - n. The small rubbery pads on the
bottom of a dog's paw.
=>niz (niz) - n. An annoying hair at the top of a movie
=>nugloo (NUG lew) - n. The single continuous eyebrow that
covers the entire forehead.
=>oatgap (OHT gap) - n. The empty space in a cereal box
created by "settling during shipment."
=>opling (OH pling) - n. The act, when feeding a baby, of
opening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and
making yummy noises, in the hope that baby will do the same.
=>optortionist (op TOR shun ist) - n. The kid in school who
can turn his eyelids inside out.
=>orogami (or oh GA mee) - n. The miraculous folding process
that allows Kleenexes to methodically emerge from the box
one at a time.
=>orosuctuous (or oh SUK chew us) - adj. Being able to hold
a glass to one's face by sheer lung power.
=>pediddel (pe DID ul) - n. A car with only one working
headlight. (Related to LEDDIDEP: a car with only one
working taillight. )
=>pedlock (PED lahk) - n. The condition of a bicycle pedal
wedging itself against the kickstand.
=>pelp (pelp) - n. The crumbs and food particles that
accumulate in the cracks of dining tables.
=>penciventilation (pen si ven ti LAY shun) - n. The act of
blowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it.
=>percuburp (PER kyu berp) - n. The final gasp a coffee
percolator makes to alert you it is ready.
=>petribar (PET ri bar) - n. Any sun-bleached prehistoric
candy that has been sitting in the window of a vending
machine too long .
=>petrool (PET rul) - n. The slow, seemingly endless strand
of motor oil at the end of the can.
=>pewtone (pyu TONE) - n. (chemical symbol: Pu) A major
atmospheric component of towns with paper mills.
=>phistel (FIS tul) - n. The brake pedal on the passenger
side of the car that you wish existed when you're riding
with a lunatic.
=>phonesia (fo NEE zhuh) - n. The affliction of dialing a
phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as
=>phosflink (FOS flink) - v. To flick a bulb on and off when
it burns out (as if, somehow, that will bring it back to
=>photoyokel (fo to YO kul) - n. A person who presses the
wrong button on a film camera causing it to dismantle.
=>phozzle (FO zul) - n. The buildup of dust on a record
=>picklettulance (pik ul ET yu lans) - n. The ability to
remember the entire family's order at a fast-food
=>pifflesquit (PIF ul skwit) - n. The wire net surrounding
the cork of a champagne bottle.
=>pillsburglar (PILZ berg ler) - n. Person able to sample
the icing on a new cake without leaving a fingerprint.
=>piyan (PI an) - n. (acronym: "Plus If You Act Now") Any
miscellaneous item thrown in on a late night television ad.
(Example: a pitchman trying to sell an all purpose carving
knife..."it's the only knife you'll ever need. Plus if you
act now, this complete set of steak knives...")
=>point blimfark (poynt BLIM fark) - n. The point at which
the wheels on a stagecoach appear to turn in the opposite
=>porkus non gratis (POR kus non GRAT is) - n. The scraggly
piece of bacon at the bottom of the package.
=>premblememblemation (prim blum em blum AY shun) - n.
Whenever you drop a letter in the mailbox, you always
re-check to make sure it's gone down.
=>profanitype (pro FAN i tipe) - n. The special symbols used
by cartoonists to replace swear words (points, asterisks,
stars, and so on). It is yet to be determined which
specific character represents which specific expletive.
=>psychophobia (sy ko FO be uh) - n. The compulsion, when
using a host's bathroom, to peer behind the shower curtain
and make sure no one is waiting for you.
=>pupkus (PUP kus) - n. The moist residue left on a window
after a dog presses its nose to it.
=>purpitation (per pi TAY shun) - v. To take something off
the grocery shelf, decide you don't want it, and then put it
in another section.
=>retrocarbonic (ret to kar BON ic) - n. Any drink machine
that dispenses the soda before the cup.
=>riceroach (RYS rohch) - n. The burnt krispie in every bowl
of Rice Krispies.
=>rignition (rig NI shun) - n. The embarrassing action of
trying to start one's car with the engine already running.
=>rocktose (ROK tohs) - n. The hard lumps that block the
pouring spouts of sugar dispensers.
=>rovalert (RO val urt) - n. The system whereby one dog can
quickly establish an entire neighborhood network of barking.
=>rubuncles (RU bunk ulz) - n. The bumps on an uncooked
=>sark (sark) - n. The marks left on one's ankle after
wearing tube socks all day.
=>scadink (SKA dink) - n. The annoying buildup of ink on the
end of a ball-point pen.
=>scandroids (SKAN droydz) - n. The striped price codes
which mysteriously began appearing on consumer products a
few years ago.
=>schlattwhapper (SCHLAT wap ur) - n. The window shade that
allows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second,
then snaps up in your face.
=>schnuffel (SCHNUF ul) - n. A dog's practice of
continuously nuzzling your crotch in mixed company.
=>scrabitch (SKRAB ich) - n. The impossible-to-reach area in
the middle of the back which can never be scratched.
=>scribline (SKRIB line) - n. The blank area on the back of
credit cards where one's signature goes.
=>scrit (skrit) - n. Anything that's been in the same place
for at least fifty years without being used, such as the
archaic bottles of hair tonic on a barber's counter.
=>shirtlop (SHURT lahp) - n. The condition of a shirt that
has been improperly buttoned.
=>shoefly (SHEW fliy) - n. The aeronautical terminology for
a football player who misses the punt and launches his shoe
=>shuggleftulation (shug lef tuyl AY shun) - n. The actions
two people approaching, trying to get around each other, and
muttering "thanks for the dance."
=>sirlines (SIR lines) - n. The lines on a grilled steak.
=>slackjam (SLAK jam) - n. The condition of being trapped in
one's own trousers while trying to pull them on without
first removing the shoes.
=>sloopage (SLU paj) - n. The tendency of hot dogs,
hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their
=>slotgreed (SLOT greed) - n. The habit of checking every
coin return one passes for change.
=>slurm (slerm) - n. The slime that accumulates on the
underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.
=>slutures (SLEW chers) - n. The four white threads that
protrude from Levis after the tag has been removed.
=>sniffleridge (SNIF ul rij) - n. The trough leading from
the nose to the upper lip.
=>snorfing (SNORF ing) - n. The little game waitresses love
to play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking
up and asking, "Is everything okay?"
=>spagmumps (SPAG mumps) - n. Any of the millions of
Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items. (Also,
SPAGBULLIONS: custom fitted Styrofoam blocks that accompany
=>speclums (SPEK lums) - n. The minuscule bumps on a
=>speraws (SPER awz) - n. The pinched marks on the ends of
=>spibble (SPIB ul) - n. The metal barrier on a rotary phone
that prevents you from dailing past 0.
=>spirobits (SPY ro bits) - n. The frayed bits of left-
behind paper in a spiral notebook.
=>spirtle (SPUR tul) - n. The fine stream from a grapefruit
that always lands right in your eye.
=>spork (spork) - n. The combination spoon/fork you find in
fast food restauraunts.
=>sprachett (SPRA chit) - n. The rubber bar at a checkout
counter that separates one load of groceries from another.
=>spubbling (SPUB ling) - v. The superhuman feat of trying
to wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving"
faucets at the same time.
=>squalkeenus (skwal KE nus) - n. The shock syndrome that
comes from biting into a popsicle with one's front teeth.
=>squatcho (SKWATCH oh) - n. The button at the top of a
=>stroodle (STRU dul) - n. The annoying strand of cheese
stretching from a slice of hot pizza to one's mouth.
=>strumble (STRUM bul) - n. That visible object you always
pretend made you trip, when it was actually your own stupid
=>sturp (sterp) - v. To pin down a runaway peice of paper or
currency with one's foot before the wind blows it away.
=>subnougate (sub NEW get) - v. To eat the bottom caramels
in a candy box and carefully replace the top level, hoping
no one will notice.
=>succubeebish (suk yu BE bish) - n. The gelatinous
surrounding canned hams and Vienna sausages.
=>superfluholes (sup ur FLEW holz) - n. (another useless
sniglet) The phony holes on speaker covers, put there to
match the ones that actually surround the speaker.
=>swazna (SWAZ nuh) - n. The thin, disgusting membrane that
connects the bottom of the tongue to the top of the jaw,
presumably to hold it in place.
=>telecrastination (tel e kras tin AY shun) - n. The act of
always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick
it up, even when you're only six inches away.
=>telepression (tel e PRE shun) - n. The deep-seated guilt
which stems from knowing that you did not try hard enough to
"look up the number on your own" and instead put the burden
on the directory assistant.
=>thermalophobia (thur muh lo FO be uh) - n. The fear when
showering that someone will sneak in, flush the toilet, and
scald you to death.
=>thernot (THER not) - n. The cardboard rod on a hanger that
prevents creasing in pants.
=>thrickle (THRI kel) - n. The itch in the back of the
throat which can't be scratched without making disgusting
=>tiefright (TY fryt) - n. The fear that no matter which way
you turn the twist-tie on a loaf of bread, it is the wrong
=>tile comet (tyl KOM it) - n. Any streamer of toilet paper
attached to your heel as you emerge from a public restroom.
=>tirequills (TYR kwills) - n. The small rubbery protrusions
on new tires.
=>toastate (TOHS tayt) - v. To impatiently pop toast up and
down in the toaster, thus increasing the likelihood of
=>tolloaf (TOE lohf) - v. Act of missing a toll basket and
having to climb out of your car to retrieve the coin.
=>tritz (trits) - n. The holes in saltine crackers.
=>twinch (twinch) - n. The movement a dog makes with its
head when it hears a high-pitched noise.
=>ufuation (yu flu AY shun) - n. The peculiar habit, when
searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the
refrigerator in hopes that something new will have
=>uhfage (UFF aj) - n. The unit for determining a
television's age, that is, the amount of time it takes for
the picture to appear once the set has been turned on.
=>upuls (YU puls) - n. The blank pages at the beginning and
end of books, presumably placed there so you can rewrite the
=>vulcant (VUL kant) - n. (chemical symbol: Vu) The stale
air that emanates from a flat tire.
=>warbloid (WAR bloyd) - n. The tiny device in cassette
players that eats tapes.
=>wattbobble (WAT bah bul) - v. To remove a hot light bulb
by turning it several seconds, letting your fingers cools,
then repeating the process. This is generally followed by
the glorious revelation of using your shirttail.
=>werxilation (wurks ul AY shun) - n. The property of some
screen doors to start to slam shut only to catch themselves
at the last moment and "float" to a gentle close.
=>Wily's Law (WI leez law) - n. The only know exception to
Newton's Law of Gravity, Wily's Law states that an animal or
person can suspend himself in midair provided (a) he is in a
cartoon, and (b) he doesn't look down and realize he is no
longer on solid ground.
=>wondracide (WUN druh side) - n. The act of murdering a
piece of bread with a knife and cold butter.
=>wurblet (WER blit) - n. The line of moisture on one's
trousers that comes from leaning against a wet counter in a
=>xiidigitation (ksi dig TAY shun) - n. The practice of
trying to determine the year a movie was made by deciphering
the roman numerals at the end of the credits.
=>yardribbons (yard RIB onz) - n. The unmowed patches of
grass discovered after one has put away the mower.
=>yink (yinc) - n. One strand of hair that covers a bald spot.
=>yinkel (YIN kul) - n. A person who combs his hair over his
bald spot, hoping no one will notice.
=>yorange (YAWR anj) - n. Those disgusting white threads
that hang from an orange after it has been peeled.
=>zibula (ZI bew luh) - n. The plastic spine which model car
parts come attached to.
=>zimeter (ZI me tur) - n. (a unit of measure) The last four
of five inches of tape that never rewind automatically.
=>zipple (ZI pul) - n. A broken poptop on a beer or soda can.
=>zizzebots (ZI ze botz) - n. The mark on the bridge of one's nose
visible when glasses are removed.
=>zyxnoid (ZIKS noid) - n. Any word that a crossword puzzler
makes up to complete the last blank, accompanied by the
rationalization that there probably is an ancient god named
Ubbbu, or German river named Wfor, and besides, who's going
Thanks to all the people who contrbuted to make this article possisble.
Once again, I plead to any reader who has any other sniglets to
Ishaan M. Gokhale