-What goes up into the air white and comes down yellow and white?
-What do you call a frightened skindiver?
Chicken of the sea.
-What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma has a pause at
the end of its clause.
-What's the longest piece of furniture in the world?
The multiplication table.
-What kind of coat can be put on only when wet?
A coat of paint.
-Why do cows wear cowbells?
Because their horns don't work.
-What do you get when you cross a goat and an owl?
-How can a leopard change his spots?
-What turns without moving?
Milk. It can turn sour.
-When does a boat show affection?
When it hugs the shore.
-When you lose something, why do you always find it in the last place
Because you stop looking as soon as you find it.
-Where does a jellyfish get its jelly?
From ocean currents.
-Why is a coward like a leaky faucet?
They both run.
-What did one eye say to the other eye?
There's something in between that smells.
-If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet
-What did the razor blade say to the razor?
Schick 'em up!
-What four letters could end a game of hide and seek.
O - I - C - U.
-Why is your hand similar to a hardware store?
Because it has nails.
-What day of the year is a command to go forward?
-Why does lightning shock people?
Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.
-Why did the little fella sleep on the chandelier?
Because he was a light sleeper.
-Why are rivers always rich?
Because they have two banks.
-What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
-How does a witch tell time?
With a witch watch!
* QMPro 1.53 * .
"I deal with temptation by yielding to it."
--attributed to Mark Twain