Then I was thinking that a laser-surgery doctor might want the
phone number 1-800-SCROTUM.
Anyone else got any zany ideas for 800 numbers?
If you've seen real 800 numbers that spell things out and might
be funny, send me a note with the number, name of the company, where
they are (if you know), and what their regular phone number is.
If I get some good ones, I'll post them, or write a letter to Dave Barry,
or call them all and not run up my phone bill, or something!
ObJoke (if you didn't think 1-800-SCROTUM was funny):
"I'm having a bad day. I started up the Norton Utilities and they said -
'Hey, wanna go shoot some pool, Ralphie Boy?'"
Thanks,
Andy Russo
# your .sig may vary. consult your owner's manual.
A few years back, there was a medical practice or company of some
kind that specialized in curing people who wet their beds. I don't know if
it was an 800 number or not, but their phone number certainly caught my
attention. It was:
1-800-STAY-DRY
Pleasant thoughts!
-Marc
The one that always gets me is the "Hooked on Phonics" learn to read
kit. It's for the illiterate, right? So why do they *SPELL* out the
phone number (1-800-ABC-DEFG)?!? Who's the genius who thought this one
up?
---Mike
True story:
Awhile back on Howard Stern's syndicated TV show, they were doing a bit about
Dr. Kevorkian (sp.?) at the end of which they said to call 1-800-MDDEATH
A few months ago, it was revealed that a N.J. travel/rental company was suing
them because of a loss of business resulting from thousands of calls to the
above number. Their number was 1-800-NEEDAVILLA!!!
* Origin: Dark Knight's Table (1:282/31)
Try the American Society of Zoological Gardens, 1-800-CITY-ZOO. =)
Well, for starters it got you to remember the number :-)
Also, Hooked on Phonics might be also for *improving* reading skills,
as opposed to learning to read from scratch.
Hope this clears things up.
--
Maurice Suhre
su...@trwrb.dsd.trw.com
No. I know someone who used it to learn to read. From
scratch. It's audio tapes with a book. The number is the dumbest
thing about the program. Fortunately, he knew that those were the
first letters of the alphabet (He'd heard his kids singing the
alphabet) so he took a shot at dialing 1-800-222-3334 and got it
right. He'd do the program at work so his family wouldn't find out
that he was illiterate. I helped him sometimes, but mostly he did it
on his own.
Hope THIS clears things up
--
== == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == == ==
Don't read this. It's bad for your health. * Keith Nugent
I said not to read this! Stop it! Stop, Damnit! * I am God
What're you still reading for?!? Don't you listen?* But don't
email me if you actually read the whole thing. * worship me..
I wanna see how many people are rebels....heh.... * cuz I don't..
=============--------------==================-----------=============
There was a billboard put up by the ad council that I always got a kick out of;
Illiterate?
Call 1-800- READ or something.
(In case you work for tha ad council... If I'm illiterate how am I going to
now what the sign says? Why not something simpler like 'Can't Read?')
Kind of like a friend of mine (a blond) who found some braille notes.
and put them on the bulleting board with a big sign which read 'BRAILLE NOTES'.
I guess you have to empathize with your audience.
j.
lysdexic and proud of it.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Jack Parker - Contractor |
Hewlett Packard, BSMC Boise, Idaho, USA| If you keep staring at it like that,
jpa...@hpbs2561.boi.hp.com | your nose is going to grow
(208) 323-5388 (W) (208) 384-1623 (H) | into the bark.
_____________________________________________________________________________
1-800-ABC-DEFG
If I couldn't read, then what are the chances that I'd know the alphabet
well enough to dial after hearing a radio commercial? (One-Eight-Hundred,
Aee-Bee-Cee-Dee-Eee-Ef-Gee)
PS: Their commercials NEVER mention that this is also 222-3334
--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Clinton A. Pierce | Cartesian Bear = Polar Bear after coordinate transform
cli...@world.std.com |
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How 'bout 1-800-ABC-DEFG for a learn to read program. I believe this is the
number for the national reading council in the u.s.
Neil
a) IT WAS A JOKE!!! Why is every body getting on my ass about this?!?
b) Hooked on Phonics is a joke; that infamous two hundred page book is
nothing more than a *LIST OF WORDS*. Just because you can read or say a
word DOES NOT mean you understand it.
c) Whoever thought *PHONICS* was a good way to learn to read the english
language must have been nuts. There are so many exceptions to the rules
that the rules aren't that useful.
OBJoke:
A wife is being driven nuts by her husbands incessant singing of
opera so she brings him to a psychiatrist.
"Doctor, he thinks he's in an opera and never stops singing"
"Well, just let me have five minutes with him alone"
She goes into the waiting room and five minutes later the man walks
out and is no longer singing. They go home and things are great; he
sings only rarely and just for a few seconds. The wife calls the doctor
back to thank him.
"Doctor, thank you for curing him. What did you do to get him to
stop singing?"
"I gave him a smaller part"
(I know it was bad but hey, that's life)
---Mike
----------
Boy, I bet she was disappointed that night!
: ----------
God Chris ... your not related to Maddi are you ... this one is pretty bad.
Hey I know ... send this one in to Maddi and I'll bet you she pees her pants
laughing at this one ... and YOU Guessed it ... she'll post it.
Cripe,
Duane
California Dreaming of a time when jokes were funny and women weren't in
charge of them.
No, We'll know education in America is gone when someone puts ads for
Learning to read on the Internet.
Actually, curing illiteracy should be simple. All we have to do is
run TV ads that say "Illiterates are ruining our country-- help wipe
them out-- send for our free brochure... call 1-800-DIE-ILR8... we can
stop the illiterate menace" ... that should get them reading REAL
quick :)
Or better yet tell them about the Polish joke line and encourage them to call
and hear the joke or the day. The number is 1-800-556-polz.
1-800-lama-yes
This is some rancher advertising Llamas for sale, and everyone should have
one.
--
Scott Smith
di...@netcom.com
A one 'l' lama is a priest.
A two 'l' llama is an animal.
And a three 'l' lama is a mighty big fire.
-Roger
I heard a couple on the radio this morning.
800 TAX-1040 - Federal IRS Hotline
800 TAX-BEAR - Vermont Teddy Bear Orders
Ron
: 800 TAX-1040 - Federal IRS Hotline
: 800 TAX-BEAR - Vermont Teddy Bear Orders
: Ron
And one more, for the folks who don't know their vocabulary very well...
1-800-824-QUIP
Charlie
--
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"This terminal is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone
to meet its maker. This is a late terminal. It's a stiff. Bereft of
life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the bench, it
would be pushing up the daisies. It's run down the curtain and
joined the choir invisible. This is an X-Terminal!"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I obtain precisely what I get." - Alexander Kaplan
Elias
But you didn't really think that sign was for blind people -- they
couldn't possibly read it. That sign was for the seeing-eye dogs.
-- Ken Jenks, NASA/JSC/GM2, Space Shuttle Program Office
kje...@gothamcity.jsc.nasa.gov (713) 483-4368
"Even considering the improvements possible... the gas
turbine could hardly be considered a feasible application to
airplanes because of the difficulty of complying with the
stringent weight requirements."
-- US National Academy of Sciences, 1940
"It may not be possible to build a vehicle with single-stage-
to-orbit capability in the mid 1990s."
-- US National Academy of Sciences, 1990
>: Menus available in braille.
>But you didn't really think that sign was for blind people -- they
>couldn't possibly read it. That sign was for the seeing-eye dogs.
Even better: A McDonald's had that same sign posted at the DRIVE-THRU!
(Think about it a minute...)
--
________________________________________________________________
Kevin Smith | As a man thinketh, so
Mitsubishi Semiconductor | shall he be.