humorous bumper-stickers
CAROL ANN CULVER
I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
humorous messages.
Thanks.
Max Elaine
on a CAR!!!!
mxk...@ritvax.isc.rit.edu
(seen in DC area)
Bill Tripp
This one is second-hand:
It read: Jesus is Coming. Look Busy!!
--
________________________________________________________________________
Bill Tripp, EDS | Sorry, it's just starting to hit me
wtri...@cps.plnin.gmeds.com | like a..um...um...two-ton..heavy thing.
Troy, MI |
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ileen D. Snow
MR J CAMPBELL
David P Goshorn
>From: jcam...@metz.une.edu.au (MR J CAMPBELL)
>Subject: Re: humorous bumper-stickers
>Date: 4 Aug 94 05:27:32 GMT
>That's good
Dave from Jersey, here.
My all time favorite bumper sticker seen in Raritan, NJ.
"Ever since I gave up hope, I feel much better."
Dave from Jersey
"Have clubs. Will travel."
Wire DPG...@crsgi1.erenj.com
Michael Keenan
>>> I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
>>> I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
>>> humorous messages.
One that Iv'e always found amusing and people still have them on their
cars two years later...
" CLINTON/GORE "
/
Miz Anni
>
> I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
> I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
> humorous messages.
>
Remember all those bumper sticker that say "I <heart> my dog", where <heart> is
the picture of a heart? Well how about "I <spade> my dog"?
Michael Keenan
That's a good one.
How about "I <club> my wife"? (Well, not really).
/
William E. Homer
: >
: > I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
National Lampoon used to offer a set of various sized stickers of screws
to put on people's bumper stickers where they used hearts (I heart my
dog, I heart my wife, etc.)
--
William E. Homer, EDS | Technology Director, Pharmaceutical Industry Group
will...@netcom.com | Voice: (214) 605-0413 Fax: (214) 605-5097
ConductorB
Or have you seen "I <screw> my dog"? I've heard about being able to buy
stick-on pictures of screws so you can change bumper stickers to read that
way. Hmmmmm... practical joke?
--> Iligitimus Non Carborundum <--
Kelly Fox
"God is coming, and boy is she pissed!"
--
#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#
* *** My spelling is wobbly. *
# Kelly Fox ***** It's good spelling but #
* kf...@eskimo.com *** it wobbles and the *
Jason Ware-Dallas
No, OJ knifed his wife, he did not club her....:-)
Jason Ware
....I know, I know, OJ Who?!!
Mark Keeney
> > >the picture of a heart? Well how about "I <spade> my dog"?
I remember seeing an ad in _National Lampoon_ about this sort of thing: you
could get round, white stickers with a picture of a screw to cover the heart
in those stupid "I (heart) my dog" bumper stickers. It would then look as
if they said "I (screw) my dog."
I wish that I had bought about fifty cases of them. ;)
--
mk :[
********************************************************************************
Mark Keeney
mke...@nova.wright.edu SPT: come over for a beer sometime
Aeon McNulty
>I saw one recently that I thought was hilarious....
>"God is coming, and boy is she pissed!"
This is particularly amusing for me here in England where "pissed" has a
completely different meaning!
_____________________________________
/\ \
\_| Yours electronically |
| |
| Aeon McNulty |
| |
| A....@mensa.demon.co.uk |
| _________________________________|__
\_/___________________________________/
alvarez celestino
How is my Driving?
Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT
John C Mumaw
I [heart] my dog.
I [spade] my dog.
I [club] my seal.
-john c. mumaw
--
John C. Mumaw jmu...@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (614)292-6314
Ohio State University Libraries Columbus, Ohio
Carmine Caloia
|> CAROL ANN CULVER (ccu...@mercury.sfsu.edu) wrote:
|> : I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
|> : humorous messages.
<snip, snip>
|> Usually seen on RVs of old folks: I'm spending my childrens' inheritance.
|>
|> --
|> rix...@netcom.com
I saw this one on an RV: Back off or I'll FLUSH!!
--
Carmine
Those who think they know everything are especially annoying to those
of us who do.
Christina Hicks
: humorous messages.
: Thanks.
One I have to deter the freeway hounds: Yes I do, but not with you.
Another I've seen: I may be fat but you're ugly and I can diet.
Larry Fishbach
I like the one I made from a kit I bought at Reith Auto Stores
Driver carries no cash
Two kids in college!
--
*******************************************************************************
ma...@hercules.lerc.nasa.gov Larry Fishbach @ NASA Lewis Cleveland Ohio
"Everything here is my own opinion" Quoth the Maven "Evermore"
*******************************************************************************
Mark Keeney
> In article <Cu4pH...@eskimo.com> Kelly Fox, kf...@eskimo.com writes:
> >I saw one recently that I thought was hilarious....
> >"God is coming, and boy is she pissed!"
> This is particularly amusing for me here in England where "pissed" has a
> completely different meaning!
yeah, tell me about it. i (having been born in england, but raised in the
u.s.) went back to england for a few years in '83. i had a splendid london
girl for a girlfriend. i was telling her about something that had
particularly annoyed me, and told her "boy, was i pissed!"
this caused considerable confusion for about three weeks afterward. sigh...
mk :[
****************************************************************************
mark keeney
mke...@nova.wright.edu spt: come over for a beer sometime
"don't make me use uppercase"
Allan Best
I've heard the expression "Piss off" occasionally in English movies and
always assumed it was like a strong "Get lost". Pray tell, what does this
expression mean to the English?
Allan
Allan Best
particular, I am looking for the bumper-sticker with the
latin saying that translates to "Don't let the bastards grind
you down".
Allan
Dave Emmerson
I [heart] my dog.
I [spade] my cat. (unless you dig Pink Floyd)
I [club] my seal.
>> I [diamond] my ex-wife! (courtesy of the CSA :( )
J.F. Scott
a...@col.hp.com (Allan Best) writes:
> I've heard the expression "Piss off" occasionally in English movies and
> always assumed it was like a strong "Get lost". Pray tell, what does this
> expression mean to the English?
>
> Allan
To say "I am pissed off" means I am annoyed, much like "I am pissed"
in the US.
However if I say "I am pissed" it means I am drunk.
"Piss off" is, as you say, a way of asking someone to go forth and
multiply.
JFS
Mr. Mitchell Edelman
"illegitimi non carburundum"
Russ Shephard
: From article <31738h$c...@news.csus.edu>, by ccu...@mercury.sfsu.edu (CAROL ANN CULVER):
1) If you're going to be a turd, go lay in the yard!
2) Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I!
Russ
--
+========================= RUSS SHEPHARD =================================+
|:::::::::::::::::: rash...@vela.acs.oakland.edu ::::::::::::::::::::::::|
|::::::::::::::::::::: Compuserve: 71221,3067 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::|
+=========== Compuserve on Internet: 71221...@compuserve.com ===========+
rhaw...@iastate.edu
>OK, we all see those "my daughter is an honor student"
>at such and such a school.....
>
When I practiced law in El Cajon a few years ago, the marshalls had made
up a bumper sticker reading
My Daughter Was Inmate of the Month
at Las Colinas Women's Detention Center .
They had also added tissue ropes to the picture of the building in the
holding cell following eh "kick out the drywall and go down on a
bedsheet" escapes.
--
R E HAWKINS
rhaw...@iastate.edu
Gary Barth
cal...@bmerh817.bnr.ca (Carmine Caloia) writes:
> In article <rixanneC...@netcom.com>, rix...@netcom.com (Christina Hicks) writes:
> |> CAROL ANN CULVER (ccu...@mercury.sfsu.edu) wrote:
> |> : I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
> |> : I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
> |> : humorous messages.
>
> <snip, snip>
>
> |> Usually seen on RVs of old folks: I'm spending my childrens' inheritance.
> |>
> |> --
> |> rix...@netcom.com
>
> I saw this one on an RV: Back off or I'll FLUSH!!
>
> --
Or better yet - Don't follow too close, or I'll flip a booger on your
windshield.
****************************************************** * ***
* Gary Barth N4YVN * "It's not the size of the / *
* epg...@email.mot.com * wand, it's the magic of / *
* 7410...@compuserve.com * the magician!" / *
**************************************************************
david russell huberman
at such and such a school.....
how about: "my kid can kick you honor student's ass"
--
Dave-id Huberman ||||| "Candy is Dandy,
Junior, Telecommunications ||||| but
Indiana University, Bloomington ||||| Sex won't rot your teeth!"
DHUB...@indiana.edu ||||| -Willy Wonka... sort of
primax
flr...@cray.com (Lee Roll) writes:
> CAROL ANN CULVER (ccu...@mercury.sfsu.edu) wrote:
> : I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
> : I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
> : humorous messages.
Saw a sign in a pizza parlor:
We will be more than happy to cash tyour personal check for up to
$20.00.
Need 6 forms of identification and $50.00 deposit until check clears
the bank.
Dick Lankes mac...@primx.com
Primax Corporation
Cincinnati, OH 45246
513.772.0260
bob.j...@syslink.mcs.com
> I saw two bumper stickers on the back of the same car. One read:
>
> My son Ricky was suspended from Canyon High School.
>
> My daughter Suzie was expelled from Miss Tiswell's School.
>
> -- Captain Nitpick
And what did the other bumper sticker read?
Bill Evans
Ann F Bailey
: From article <31738h$c...@news.csus.edu>, by ccu...@mercury.sfsu.edu (CAROL ANN CULVER):
: > I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
: > humorous messages.
: > Thanks.
"Will be President for food"
aba...@sparta.sjsu.edu
"have a good time, all the time
that's my philosophy, Marty."
Gary D Cederquist GDE
>: I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
>: I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
>: humorous messages.
My recent favorite:
God loves you, the rest of us think you're an idiot.
--
Gary D. Cederquist GDE Systems Inc
ce...@gdwest.gd.com San Diego, CA
MARIAN NEBRIAGA
Impeach President Clinton!
(then below in fine print, it said)
...and her husband too!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
e-mail: nebr...@camis.stanford.edu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Koops
Dont get to close, this car farts!
Chemical Imbalance
>My recent favorite:
> God loves you, the rest of us think you're an idiot.
Hmmm... that's like George Carlin's comment a while back that, "Jesus is in
your heart, and God is in the bushes." Well, maybe not... I dunno. I just
thought of it and spewed forth upon the land. (And the 'Net.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am the bullet in the gun and i control you
i am the truth from which you run and i control you
i am the silencing machine and i control you
i am the end of all your dreams and i control you
-- NiN, mr self destruct
Email/Flaming encouraged:
nbb...@108.watstar.uwaterloo.on.ca *OR*, new and unimproved,
nbb...@HELIX.watstar.uwaterloo.ca (still Nick 'Nafsik' Boldt, though)
Lee Roll
: I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
: I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
: humorous messages.
Not a bumper sticker, but definitely American humor:
"In God We Trust...all others, pay cash."
often seen in small restaurants, etc.
- Lee
p.s. To our friends around the world, all the currency of the U.S. has
the IGWT phrase on it.
- L
Bill Evans
: > I saw two bumper stickers on the back of the same car. One read:
A good book. Artificial intelligence is rearing its stupid head
everywhere.
-- Captain Nitpick
Charlie Robinette
(MARIAN NEBRIAGA) wrote:
> A car bumper sticker says:
>
Clinto Happens
EMONK+Ro...@acdm.rdc.ab.ca
References: Mail Gated via SAIT and RDC
Comments: Converted Via GT2VAXv1.012rs
FROM: Roger Sween
TO: REC-...@CS.UTEXAS.EDU
SUBJ: Re: humorous bumper-stickers
DATE: 8-07-94
TIME: 21:40
PUBLIC
>>
> >Remember all those bumper sticker that say "I <heart> my dog", whe=
re <heart>
> is
> >the picture of a heart? Well how about "I <spade> my dog"?
>>[REC-H=D2=90=3D>EMONK]
What I did for fun one time, when I was young, I found this ad in Nat=
ional
lampoon for stickers that had a picture of a screw on it, designed to=
cover up
the nice little heart.
Suddenly hundreds of people were driving around with bumperstickers t=
hat
displayed that they screwed their dogs. heheheh
+--------------------------8<---Cut here---8<------------------------=
+
| Roger Sween Microcomputer Equipment Technician Red Deer College =
|
| GCH -d+ H-- s g+ p1 au a w- v c++++$ UL- P+ L+ 3 E? N++ K- W M-- V+=
|
| po Y+ t++ 5++ !j R- G? tv+ b++ D B e* u+ h* f- r- n--- y+ CH+++++$ =
|
+--------------------------8<---Cut here---8<------------------------=
+
Computer Hardware Geek
##Mmr 2.46=E1. !link REC-H 8-06-94 7:01
Route: 518/0tu22 518/2
Gated through The Electric Monk GTPOWERCOM Net/Node 518/002
Tom Fisher
"My other car is a Labia!"
Tom
Lee Roll
Gerald Ward <exu...@exu.ericsson.se> wrote:
>
> "If you ain't Texan, you ain't sh**!"
Which reminds me of a Colorado favorite:
"If God had wanted Texans to ski, he would have made bullshit white."
- Lee
Checked for speling errors
exu...@exu.ericsson.se (Gerald Ward) writes:
>I saw one that said...
>
> "If you ain't Texan, you ain't sh**!"
I guess then if you are Texan, you are shit.
rg...@sunyboard.org
IM>> >"God is coming, and boy is she pi-sed!"
IM>> This is particularly amusing for me here in England where "p-ssed" has a
IM>> completely different meaning!
OK, I'll bite! What does it mean in England?!?!?!
Richard
PS.. I just tried to sign off with my nickname "D-ck" and was informed
profanity is not allowed! That's MY joke for the day!
PSS.. Wouldn't allow the other word, either!!!
Keith Preston
wrote:
On of my dad's favorites--"Illegitimati non carborundum est"
--
Keith W. Preston "Those who are willing to give up freedom for security,
deserve neither"
k...@prin.edu
rhaw...@iastate.edu
The John Birch society is always good for a couple of fun ones, so I
walked by their booth at the Iowas State Fair today. Slim pickings,
nothing really good but, "Eliminate shortages: ration government"
Now, this is the fair which made national news a couple of years ago
when the pork queen (yes, really) responded to the PETA assailants with
pies by throwing a pie back at them! They were, of course, outraged by
such behavior on the part of their victim.
I was therefore surprised to see a booth with PETA t-shirts, untill I
got close enought to read them. I bought a swetshirt proclaiming:
PETA: People for the Eating of Tasty Animals."
And while paying for it, I noticed another one: "Will Rojers never met
Bill Clinton." The gal behind the table said hardly anyone gets that
one.
Bryan Askew
"Bush Lost
Get Over It"
******************************************
Bryan Askew
Microcomputer Consultant
University of North Carolina at Greensboro
Client Services
ask...@turing.uncg.edu
Tom Watson
Thanks for visiting,
If you liked the food, send your friends,
Otherwise, send your mother-in-law.
Gerald Ward
>I saw one recently that I thought was hilarious....
>"God is coming, and boy is she pissed!"
>
>
>--
> #*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#
> * *** My spelling is wobbly. *
> # Kelly Fox ***** It's good spelling but #
> * kf...@eskimo.com *** it wobbles and the *
I saw one that said...
"If you ain't Texan, you ain't sh**!"
--Jerry.
Bad Bob
~>My favourite was on an old clunker and read:
~>
~>Dont get to close, this car farts!
Seen on an old beat-up pickup truck:
on one side of the bumper -
My other car's a piece of sh*t too!
and on the other, looking very official like the stickers on police cars-
Emergency: DIAL 911
cuz sh*t happens <<< in much smaller print>>>
And of course, the old reliable, seen everywhere:
How's My Driving?
Dial 1-(800)-EAT-SH*T
-Bad Bob (they say that when I speak, I don't say sh*t. Hmmmmmmm. They're right.)
_____________________________________________________________
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and
nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day...
_____________________________________________________________
Chris Gannon
Greg Goebel
> I saw one that said...
> "If you ain't Texan, you ain't sh**!"
The reverse is true as well.
-
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Wile E. Coyote at Acme Electronics Corporation |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it. |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Greg Goebel NET: gvg@hpislsup |
| Hewlett-Packard HP DESK: GREG GOEBEL |
| VXD Marketing PHONE: Telnet/303 679-3424 |
| POB 301 / MS-CU326 / Loveland CO 80539 FAX: Telnet/303 679-5971 |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
EMONK+Ro...@acdm.rdc.ab.ca
Joseph P. Gonzalez, Jr
Or how about: Abscondae, obiserum illegitimum (Leave, you fat bastard)
---
**************************************************************************
* Joe Gonzalez, Jr. * This message is brought to you by "Duro-Mail" *
* jpg...@nynexst.com * the new "flame"-resistant brand of e-mail! *
**************************************************************************
Mitch Leventhal
"I'm Anti-North!"
Bryce Joseph Austin
over. It read:
Nuke Gay Whales
For Jesus
--Bryce Austin
cpsi...@ulkyvx.louisville.edu
4N SIC
Curt Sigdestad
cpsi...@ulkyvx.louisville.edu
Lisa Nishikawa
: <an...@netmanage.com> wrote:
: >
: > > I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
: > > I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
: > > humorous messages.
A fellow I dated back in about '72, just prior to Nixon resigning had one
of his own made that I thought was funny:
LET'S JERK DICK
*******************************************
Lisa Nishikawa (ldni...@wheel.ucdavis.edu)
*******************************************
RJBryla
> A fellow I dated back in about '72, just prior to Nixon resigning had
one
> of his own made that I thought was funny:
>
> LET'S JERK DICK
>
Or how about, "Don't change Dicks in the middle of a screw, re-elect
Nixon."
Bill Evans
: And while paying for it, I noticed another one: "Will Rojers never met
: Bill Clinton." The gal behind the table said hardly anyone gets that
: one.
No danjer of _that_.
-- Captain Nitpick
Rusty Haddock
>In article <31738h$c...@news.csus.edu>, ccu...@mercury.sfsu.edu (CAROL ANN CULVER) writes:
>|> I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
>|> I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
>|> humorous messages.
>|>
>
>I like the one I made from a kit I bought at Reith Auto Stores
>
>Driver carries no cash
>Two kids in college!
I once made one of those sickening little 'Baby on Board' yellow diamonds
that said:
Baby
carries
no cash
-Rusty-
--
_____ Rusty Haddock ## KD4WLZ -- Weird Looking Zucchini
|\/ o \ o INTERNET: ru...@btg.com PACKET: kd4wlz@n4lxi.#nova.va.us.noam
| ( -< O o I planted my antenna farm and aluminum and copper poles
|/\__V__/ came up. The strange thing is that I used steel seeds.
David Wright
>
>In article <325pmm$1...@bmerha64.bnr.ca>
>cal...@bmerh817.bnr.ca (Carmine Caloia) writes:
>
>> In article <rixanneC...@netcom.com>, rix...@netcom.com (Christina Hicks) writes:
>> |> CAROL ANN CULVER (ccu...@mercury.sfsu.edu) wrote:
>> |> : humorous messages.
>>
Lots. Seen on the back of a Cadillac Seville, in Alberta (the OIL province):
As a matter of fact, yes, I DO own the road.
Seen on a Porsche 944:
Alarm system by Smith & Wesson.
Seen on a very nice looking Camaro Berlinetta:
If you value your life like I value my car, KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF.
Seen on the front bumper of a pontiac, with the letters reversed so that
you had to read them in a mirror.
AMBULANCE
chaser
(Up here, at least, the letters AMBULANCE on the front of ambulances are
similarly reversed. I assume this is a universal phenomenon.)
Seen on be back of a pickup truck in Saskatchewan:
What's the last thing to enter a bug's
mind when it hits your windshield?
It's Ass.
Many more, but this is getting too long. Ciao
Dave
Molly Ball
Honk if you are partial to loud noises...
--
Cleopatra, Queen of Denial, alterego: Molly Ball, au...@freenet.carleton.ca
"Life! Don't talk to me about life!" -Marvin, the Paranoid Android
Idiot, Tomato, Full Silly, SSBWNCY member, Luc fan, Mistie, and potted plant
"It was very cold in the Atlantic Ocean" -Robin (quote of the month)
Scott Brady
students, and
>>> |> : I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently wi
If you don't like the way I drive stay of the sidewalk.
Nuke a gay whale for Jesus
That's all folks!
Scott
Gerry Power
Lesbians Lick Bush (with a picture of George)
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Gerry Power gjp...@netcom.com |
| |
| *Certain of these images did not fit into any narrative I knew.* |
| Joan Didion, _The_White_Album_ |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Molly Ball
In a previous article, rix...@netcom.com (Christina Hicks) says:
>
>One I have to deter the freeway hounds: Yes I do, but not with you.
>
>Another I've seen: I may be fat but you're ugly and I can diet.
>
>Usually seen on RVs of old folks: I'm spending my childrens' inheritance.
>
My friend's parents have one that says: My kid beat up your honor student
Molly Ball
In a previous article, ma...@hercules.lerc.nasa.gov (Larry Fishbach) says:
>In article <31738h$c...@news.csus.edu>, ccu...@mercury.sfsu.edu (CAROL ANN CULVER) writes:
>|> I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
>|> I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
>|> humorous messages.
>|>
>|> Thanks.
>
>I like the one I made from a kit I bought at Reith Auto Stores
>
>Driver carries no cash
>Two kids in college!
A friend of mine is a dental hygenist--she had one made that says, "SPIT
HAPPENS."
sl...@cc.usu.edu
> Sign observed recently in the back window of a Volvo:
>
> "My other car is a Labia!"
>
> Tom
I have mine says "My other car is a Romulan Warbird/Klingon Bird of Prey" and
another one says "This vehicle travels at WARPSPEED"
--
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek or Cyberspace.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
-Shawn (Internet: sl...@cc.usu.edu)
sl...@cc.usu.edu
Loved to hear more... So post it!!!!!
--
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek or Cyberspace...
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
-Shawn (Internet: sl...@cc.usu.edu)
Scott Sexton
: In article <1994Aug11....@exu.ericsson.se>,
: exu...@exu.ericsson.se (Gerald Ward) writes:
: >I saw one that said...
: >
: > "If you ain't Texan, you ain't sh**!"
: I guess then if you are Texan, you are shit.
Being a Texan I alway's hated that statement. But most people just don't
understand logic.
--
**************************************************************************
* Scott Sexton | "The 100% American is 99% an idiot." *
* terr...@bga.com | George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) *
**************************************************************************
Scott Sexton
Three of my favorites
1> I Brake for Halucinations (sp?)
If you remember the Branch Davidian fiasco.
2> Is your church BATF Approved??
3> If guns kill people then cars get drunk!
Scott Sexton
1> My kid just beat up your honor student.
and
2> My deadhead just stoned your honor student.
James A. McKeand
I remember the a similar ad in National Lampoon, but the "screw" was
replaced by a "bone". I still laugh about that every time I see one of
those bumper stickers.
Charlie Robinette
Alan Frazier
: >
: > A fellow I dated back in about '72, just prior to Nixon resigning had
Here in Ohio, we had one:
Dick Celeste - Before He Dicks You
Alan
Alan Frazier
: In article <1994Aug11.1...@CERIS.Purdue.EDU>, tfi...@CERIS.Purdue.EDU (Tom Fisher) writes:
: > Sign observed recently in the back window of a Volvo:
: >
: > "My other car is a Labia!"
: >
: > Tom
: I have mine says "My other car is a Romulan Warbird/Klingon Bird of Prey" and
: another one says "This vehicle travels at WARPSPEED"
I have seen numerous fake "college" window stickers along Star Trek lines.
"Vulcan Science Academy"
"Starfleet Academy"
I'd like one that says "Klingon Driving School".
Alan
Richard D. Meadows
>I'd like one that says "Klingon Driving School".
>Alan
As a matter of fact I have the ability to produce individual bumper
snickers. hmmmmm.... NOT wanting to commercialize the net, why don't you
and anyone else who is interested drop me e-mail.
craftman
Ann F Bailey
: >Alan
: craftman
Yeah, you just go out and get some blank bumper sticker sheets and feed
them through your laser printer.
ann
rhaw...@iastate.edu
In the far west, I saw
If U (heart) NY get your (ass) back there
--
R E HAWKINS
rhaw...@iastate.edu
Jae Fells
Newsgroups: rec.humor
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From: rix...@netcom.com (Christina Hicks)
Subject: Re: humorous bumper-stickers
Message-ID: <rixanneC...@netcom.com>
Organization: NETCOM On-line Communication Services (408 261-4700 guest)
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References: <31738h$c...@news.csus.edu>
Date: Mon, 8 Aug 1994 16:01:40 GMT
Lines: 15
CAROL ANN CULVER (ccu...@mercury.sfsu.edu) wrote:
: I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
: I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
: humorous messages.
: Thanks.
Here are a few: CARE ENOUGH TO BE APATHETIC
MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR -- OR DO BOTH: GET MARRIED
I CAN'T BE OVERDRAWN -- I STILL HAVE CHECKS LEFT
NO ONE IS UGLY AFTER 2 AM
WHY OVERTAX YOUSELF WHEN THE GOVERNMENT DOES IT FOR YOU?
IF YOU'RE NOT THE LEAD DOG, THE VIEW NEVER CHANGES
TAKE AN INTEREST IN YOUR HUSBAND'S ACTIVITIES: HIRE A
DETECTIVE
THERE ARE VERY FEW PROBLEMS THAT CAN'T BE SOLVED BY A
SUITABLE APPLICATION OF HIGH EXPLOSIVES
Hope this helps. There is a magazine called The Comedy Magazine that
is really funny. You can call to order at 1-800-266-3888.
Deeoemail
"If it smells like fish, eat it."
James J Hardiman
application of concentrated phaser fire.
Don't honk, please: driver is napping.
Reality is a crutch for those who can't handle science fiction.
" " heavy drugs.
Dungeons & Dragons.
Mine's bigger, it weighs more, and I do my own bodywork. Try me.
(I'm considering painting that on my truck... a '56 Chevy with a BIG bumper).
Pass me and I'll flick a booger on your windshield.
Beware passing, driver chews tobacco.
I brake for imaginary objects.
alligators.
no apparent reason.
NOTHING!!!
I'm not as think as you stoned I am.
Take me drunk, I'm home again.
Jim Hardiman
--
*************************************************************************
* Jim Hardiman | I was just about to embark on the mysteries *
* ji...@solix.fiu.edu | of the _Fuel Injection System_. *
* ji...@servax.fiu.edu | -Lennier, "Eyes" *
*************************************************************************
James J Hardiman
> sl...@cc.usu.edu wrote:
> : In article <1994Aug11.1...@CERIS.Purdue.EDU>, tfi...@CERIS.Purdue.EDU (Tom Fisher) writes:
> : > Sign observed recently in the back window of a Volvo:
> : >
> : > "My other car is a Labia!"
> : >
> : > Tom
> : I have mine says "My other car is a Romulan Warbird/Klingon Bird of Prey" and
> : another one says "This vehicle travels at WARPSPEED"
> I have seen numerous fake "college" window stickers along Star Trek lines.
> "Vulcan Science Academy"
> "Starfleet Academy"
"Borg institute of Technology"
"Ferengi School of Business"
Jim H.
James J Hardiman
> In article <32k1da$3...@bronze.coil.com>,
> In the far west, I saw
> If U (heart) NY get your (ass) back there
The Miami version is:
If U love NY, Take I-95 north.
(and man, I wish they would- after spending their money, of course.)
another fave:
Welcome to our beach.... NOW GO HOME!
Faith Harvey
: > I have seen numerous fake "college" window stickers along Star Trek lines.
: "Borg institute of Technology"
: "Ferengi School of Business"
I saw this one on a car that was moving into the apts. here (as it is
just about time for school to start....):
"College of Smith & Wesson"
<almost drove off the street laughing>
--
Faith Harvey ====== Illinois State University ====== (Ab) Normal, Illinois
"Never been to a shrink. What could be sillier than a priest who doesn't
believe in the soul?" --- Stephen Gaskin
Checked for speling errors
My Gun Has Killed Fewer People than Ted Kennedy's Car.
brett_drake
This is similar to others like
"fewer Americans have died from nuclear power plant radiation accidents
than have died in Teddy Kennedy's car".
Stephanie A Dobler
>I have seen numerous fake "college" window stickers along Star Trek lines.
>"Vulcan Science Academy"
>"Starfleet Academy"
I saw one around election time a couple years ago that said "Picard/Riker 92."
Orion Auld
>Checked for speling errors (sbu...@uh01.Colorado.EDU) wrote:
>: In article <1994Aug11....@exu.ericsson.se>,
>: exu...@exu.ericsson.se (Gerald Ward) writes:
>: >I saw one that said...
>: >
>: > "If you ain't Texan, you ain't sh**!"
>: I guess then if you are Texan, you are shit.
An elementary logic course would tell you that this is not true.
What the first statement does imply, though, is that being a Texan
opens up the possibility of being shit, whereas no others have that
opportunity.
--
***** Orion Auld ***** *------------------------------------------------*
"We are only fabulous | If we took the bones out, it wouldn't |
beasts, after all." | be crunchy, would it? -- Monty Python |
-- John Ashbery *------------------------------------------------*
gu...@silver.sdsmt.edu
The other day I saw:
If Clinton is the answer
someone asked a stupid question!!
Gary Curtis
Jim Biggerstaff
x) writes:
>In article <1994Aug10.1...@driftwood.cray.com>
>flr...@cray.com (Lee Roll) writes:
>
>> CAROL ANN CULVER (ccu...@mercury.sfsu.edu) wrote:
>> : I'm teaching a summer course in American humor for foreign students, and
>> : I'd love to hear about any bumperstickers you've seen recently with
>> : humorous messages.
>
Saw this a few years ago - may belong in alt.tasteless:
Large Type: I FOUND IT!!!!!!!
Very Small Type: and now my finger stinks
Jim Biggerstaff
Gary Barth
Wri...@rpm2.aes.mb.doe.ca (David Wright) writes:
[snip]
> Lots. Seen on the back of a Cadillac Seville, in Alberta (the OIL province):
>
> As a matter of fact, yes, I DO own the road.
>
Some advice when mounting this particular bumper sticker on your
vehicle...be very nice to the policemen who stop your car, because you
*WILL* be stopped quite often. I speak from painful experience...and I
have a "safe driver" classification on my license. This is one bumper
sticker that you will probably remove from your bumper very shortly
after applying it.
****************************************************** * ***
* Gary Barth N4YVN * "It's not the size of the / *
* epg...@email.mot.com * wand, it's the magic of / *
* 7410...@compuserve.com * the magician!" / *
**************************************************************
Gary Barth
terr...@bga.com (Scott Sexton) writes:
> Checked for speling errors (sbu...@uh01.Colorado.EDU) wrote:
> : In article <1994Aug11....@exu.ericsson.se>,
> : exu...@exu.ericsson.se (Gerald Ward) writes:
>
> : >I saw one that said...
> : >
> : > "If you ain't Texan, you ain't sh**!"
>
> : I guess then if you are Texan, you are shit.
>
> Being a Texan I alway's hated that statement. But most people just don't
> understand logic.
>
No. Most people don't understand *TEXAS* logic (or speech).
Joe Williams
>hat
>displayed that they screwed their dogs. heheheh
Heree are a couple bumper stickers that I saw out here in Vancouver.
"Hungry? Out of work?? Then eat your import"
"Honk if you made it with Cmdr Riker"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe Williams Internet
Richmond, BC, Canada JO...@ICEBOX.ICEONLINE.COM
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joseph Crowe
|> I saw one that said...
|>
|> "If you ain't Texan, you ain't sh**!"
I always wondered about that. I've lived in Texas for ~15 years and I thought
the implication from that comment was that if you are Texan, you're shit. What
gives?
|>
|> --Jerry.
|>
--
=========================================================
| Joe Crowe |
| Internet Address:jcr...@mpd.tandem.com |
| WWW Home Page http://sauron.mpd.tandem.com/~jcrowe/ |
=========================================================
Joseph Crowe
|
|> "Borg institute of Technology"
|>
|> "Ferengi School of Business"
Unconscious State
|>
|>
|> Jim H.