LEWD METAPHORES
gjv
Nervious as a whore in church...
Colder than a nun's cunt...
Busier than a shithouse rat in heat...
Hotter than a duck's ass in a pepper patch...
Colder than a well-digger's ass...
Hornier than a 3-balled tomcat...
I would be greatful for additional lewd metaphores!
Margaret Chatfield
Lower than Mobie's dick
Katie Sehorn
gjv <10002...@CompuServe.COM> wrote:
>
>Nervious as a whore in church...
>Colder than a nun's cunt...
>Busier than a shithouse rat in heat...
>Hotter than a duck's ass in a pepper patch...
>Colder than a well-digger's ass...
>Hornier than a 3-balled tomcat...
>
- Katie
Dennis M. Reichhold
> gjv <10002...@CompuServe.COM> wrote:
>>
>>Nervious as a whore in church...
>>Colder than a nun's cunt...
>>Busier than a shithouse rat in heat...
>>Hotter than a duck's ass in a pepper patch...
>>Colder than a well-digger's ass...
>>Hornier than a 3-balled tomcat...
>>
> Worn-out as a cucumber in a conven
Busier than a cat covering shit on a hot tin roof.
Busier than a whore's cunt.
And don't forget, from _A Catcher in the Rye_:
Colder than a witch's left teat.
-Dennis
Jerry Laplante
MC>Lower than Mobie's dick
Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.
---
. OLX 2.1 TD . The worlds big problem is Apathy... but then who cares !
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Jorge e. Martinez
> MC>> I would be greatful for additional lewd metaphores!
>
> MC>Lower than Mobie's dick
> Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.
Slicker than mule shit ...
William J. Evans
: I would be greatful for additional lewd metaphores!
Clean: Slicker than snot on a brass doorknob.
Dirty: Slicker than cum on a gold tooth.
--
Bill Evans (-- Captain Nitpick) Don't _ /| ACK!
P.O. Box 4829 make \'o_O' /
Irvine, CA 92716 How am I driving? lists =( )=
(714)551-2766 Dial w...@acm.org .... U
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The Swiss Mercenary
In article <65771.3...@filebank.cts.com>,
jerry.l...@filebank.cts.com (Jerry Laplante) writes:
}MC>> I would be greatful for additional lewd metaphores!
}
}MC>Lower than Mobie's dick
}Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.
Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey
(Brass monkey weather)
The Swiss Mercenary
--
Ecological .sig - Preserve the Bandwidth, pickle Cantor & Siegel
Aryeh Goldman
How about these...
After it rains; I'm wetter then a two bit whore...
When your leaving; like the man said to the women right before he
came, I'm OUT...
--
Ari Goldman
Luke Webber
Dry as a nun's nasty
Busy as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest
Then there's a clean one ...
Flash as a rat with a gold tooth
--
Luke Webber
* Note: The opinions expressed by Luke Webber are in no way supported *
* by his employers, Luke Webber Consulting Services *
Miracle Max
M.M.
Alan Hall
How about .....
Colder than a Nun's cunt on a saturday night. ????
--
** --------------------------------------------------------------------------
** Alan R. Hall ar...@netcom.com, Hal...@Hosp.Stanford.Edu
** (408) 448-5615 (home) PGP signature in .plan file
** (415) 725-4532 (work) A Penny saved is a Congressional oversight
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Mark Singer
ACT LIKE A PUSSY.... YOU'RE GONNA GET FU*KED!!
The Fulcrum Group
Busy as a one armed paper hanger with the crabs
Crazy as a bag of hammers.
Tight as a frog's ass.
Joe Lannom
> In article <1994Nov1.2...@leo.vsla.edu> mcha...@leo.vsla.edu
(Margaret Chatfield) writes:
> >gjv writes:
> >> Here are some of my favorites,
> >>
> >> Nervious as a whore in church...
> >> Colder than a nun's cunt...
> >> Busier than a shithouse rat in heat...
> >> Hotter than a duck's ass in a pepper patch...
> >> Colder than a well-digger's ass...
> >> Hornier than a 3-balled tomcat...
> >>
> >> I would be greatful for additional lewd metaphores!
> >
>
> Happy as a one-legged lesbian on a pogo-stick
> Dry as a pommy's towel
>
From Black Adder:
Goes like the privy door when the plagues in town.
--
jcla...@mathlab.mtu.edu | Michigan Technological University
If you think my opinions represent those of MTU.. Seek help.
>>>-->
When "wide open spaces" brings parking to mind, die.
Unknown
Duke McMullan
>> Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.
>Slicker than mule shit ...
One of my all time favorites:
Slicker than two eels fucking in a bucket of snot.
d
--
Duke McMullan n5gax nss13429r phon505-255-4642 n5...@mack.RT66.com
Duke McMullan
Hungry enough to eat the crotch out of a menstruating skunk
Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey (OLD!)
Cold enough to freeze the nuts off a pickup
Dennis M. Reichhold
> . . . and let's add:
>
> Hungry enough to eat the crotch out of a menstruating skunk
> Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey (OLD!)
> Cold enough to freeze the nuts off a pickup
How about:
That'll go over like a fart in church.
-Dennis
Andrew Clapham
"Cold enough in here to freeze the balls off a brass monkey, your
majesty," he said; and she smiled knowingly.
old old old and plagiarised to boot!
--- Andy Clapham ---
Rick Banghart
"Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum," 'e said; and she smiled knowingly.
(Piles of derisive laughter, Bruce!)
--
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving,
hysterical, naked.
--Ginsberg
Kaye - George
As funny as a turd in a punchbowl.
Like a fart in a diver's helmet.
pop account
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers
Joe Johnson
The Human Neutrino
--
"I'll get a life when it is proven and substantiated to be better than
what I am currently experiencing" - Troy C. Belding
gm/s -d+(?) -p+ c+ l? u e+ m+ s-/ n--- h*(+) f g+ w+++ t r x?
Doug Orr
Russ Renaud
In a previous article, urs...@scsn.net (pop account) says:
>How 'bout:
>
> Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers
>
Busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.
But it's not intrinsically lewd!
William D. Heideman
("Andrew Clapham") wrote:
> > Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey (OLD!)
> I heared the Australian prime minister use that one the other day...
> "Cold enough in here to freeze the balls off a brass monkey, your
> majesty," he said; and she smiled knowingly.
> old old old and plagiarised to boot!
>
The modern interpretation of this is not what was originally meant by
this statement. In the days of sailing ships a brass monkey was a
rack that held cannon balls, as in ammunition, not anatomy. In very
cold weather the brass would shrink and the cannom balls would fall
off the rack. Hence - freeze the (cannon) balls off a brass monkey
(rack).
Not necessarily humorous, and an otherwise useless bit of trivia.
Sorry for that.
--
William D. Heideman
bi...@uidaho.edu
<< standard disclaimers apply, I speak for no-one >>
e.
e.
--
Yu-cheng "eugene" Liu [] A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
Georgia Institute of Technology [] I'm insane,
Internet mail: gt5...@prism.gatech.edu [] but that keeps me from going crazy.
"If I would, could you?" - Alice In Chains
Bruce Holder
: In article <Cz7n...@cix.compulink.co.uk>,andy...@cix.compulink.co.uk
: ("Andrew Clapham") wrote:
: > > Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey (OLD!)
: The modern interpretation of this is not what was originally meant by
: this statement. In the days of sailing ships a brass monkey was a
: Not necessarily humorous, and an otherwise useless bit of trivia.
: Sorry for that.
Also not necessarily true. This smells a lot like a back construction
to me.
--
Bruce Holder hol...@netrix.com
(303)530-8739
wALLY JOHNSON
PA Ross
>: The modern interpretation of this is not what was originally meant by
>: this statement.
>to me.
It's absolutely true. I lived in Portsmouth for a while (Loads of navy there)
and have seen both a brass monkey and the balls to go with it.
ObJoke:
How do you confuse Helen Keller.
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner!
Paul
PS Apoligies to any blind people reading this !
John Maher
>From: wALLY JOHNSON <n...@delphi.com>
>Subject: Re: LEWD METAPHORES
>Date: Sun, 4 DEC 94 09:41:54 -0500
>Flat as piss on a plate.
>> Slick as snot on a doorknob
Robert Borkowski
Daniel McCarty
>
>ObJoke:
>
>How do you confuse Helen Keller.
>
>Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner!
>
>Paul
>
>PS Apoligies to any blind people reading this !
>
By the way, if anyone reading this is illeterate, please call
the National Association for Reading at 1-800-REA-DING and
we'll send you a free application for our catalogue.
Timo Salmi
: By the way, if anyone reading this is illeterate, please call
: we'll send you a free application for our catalogue.
My complements on your subtle twist.
All the best, Timo (aka Professor Pundit in rec.humor)
..................................................................
Prof. Timo Salmi Co-moderator of comp.archives.msdos.announce
Moderating at garbo.uwasa.fi anonymous FTP archives 193.166.120.5
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Internet: t...@uwasa.fi BBS +(358)-61-3170972; FIN-65101, Finland