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Graffiti anyone?

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Michael Husman

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Jul 17, 1990, 1:40:31 PM7/17/90
to
Hey netters
How about starting a new thread based on the graffiti you have seen in
your travels? Here are a few to get things started:

God created the world in six days, but it took him four years to graduated
from Purdue.
Purdue-Library

(over the toilet paper dispenser)
Nixon tapes-seize one
or...
Another fine abrasive by 3m
or...
Do not rotate over 3,600 rpm.
etc.
ohio state-various locals


Some graffiti is best when it is embelished by others:

Free soviet jews!

-below-

With each $25.00 purchase

or...
It's better to get pissed off than to get pissed on.

-below-

Have you ever been pissed on without being pissed off?

or...
Beam me up scottie!
-below-
I canna do it, Cap'n. You're surrounded by steamy vapors that are causin'
a disengagement of the transmitter ray.
-below-
any ideas Spock?
-below-
Try another stall, and this time don't fart.

.......
You get the idea. I'm sure that the collective creativity and diversity of
the net can come up with graffiti (or singularly graffito) better than that
which I have provided. I look forward to your postings.

Michael Husman
The 0hio State University
'Cow'lumbus, 0hio
Sig? Who has time to write a sig (besides Dan Kogai that is (sorry Dan))?

Robert Fehr

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Jul 17, 1990, 2:05:46 PM7/17/90
to
My all-time favorite graffiti, found on the back of a stall in the
men's room, theologically sound, written in bold black marker:

HE IS RISEN
HE IS NOT HERE!

This is not as sacrilegious as you might think. I recognized the
hand writing as belonging to one of the more unconventional, but
comprehensible Christian thinkers of our day. His identity shall
remain a secret.

--
jeff davis da...@keats.ca.uky.edu
part of the world of American bad actors who, when the chips are down, go to
Florida... Ninety-Two in the Shade by Thomas McGuane

John A. Johnston

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Jul 17, 1990, 3:41:34 PM7/17/90
to
In article <1990Jul17....@zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu> m...@zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu (Michael Husman) writes:
>Hey netters
>How about starting a new thread based on the graffiti you have seen in
>your travels? Here are a few to get things started:

While visiting the Towson State University student union early this
summer to catch "A Change of Pace, with Bob and Jeff", (Quite funny
these two) I caught a new one in the men's room:

There was a grid of about 12 boxes inked on one wall. Over the grid
was the phrase "Booger Contest". Each box was dutifully filled with
great big huge boogers! Really gross! (no, I was not a contributor)

J. Peter Neergaard

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Jul 17, 1990, 4:25:59 PM7/17/90
to

The one I got a real kick out of was:

TRUST IN JESUS

or some other generic religous quote, which was painted on a bridge somewhere.

The first thing that came to mind was that someone, who was obviously a
criminal type (after all they were vandilizing the bridge with their
graffiti) wanted me to trust and respect their judgement about their
religion. And yet, they were willing to openly admit (by the fact they
used graffiti to display their message) that they were willing to
flagrently break the law.

Maybe this should go under the oxymoron thread?

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Anyway, a couple of fun ones:

Seen on a bathroom wall: ANYONE CAN PISS ON THE FLOOR.
BUT CAN YOU SHIT ON THE CEILING!

Or, who knows where this one will go (also on a bathroom wall): COPY ME

-me -disclaimer: yeah, whatever...

Perry Pederson

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Jul 17, 1990, 5:25:03 PM7/17/90
to

Written in huge letters above the stall:

ANY ASSHOLE CAN PISS ON THE FLOOR.

BE A HERO AND SHIT ON THE CEILING!!!

Maurice Hill

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Jul 17, 1990, 4:05:58 PM7/17/90
to

From the walls of the Grad Library U. of Michigan,


Not now dear,

I'm getting a PhD.

Weide Chang

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Jul 18, 1990, 5:13:15 AM7/18/90
to

I suppose this is opposed to getting a post MS. Silly me.


rec.games.go .sig ;/\
==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==
Beat my master ( 2 Taiwan Dan ) with 5 stones ( throw real hard.) ;) )
"Life is too short not to be serious.. the game is too damn long, don't
be serious.." said the master. "Ya.. huh?" cha...@athena.UUCP

Kirk Pearson

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Jul 18, 1990, 11:10:53 AM7/18/90
to
>Hey netters
>How about starting a new thread based on the graffiti you have seen in
>your travels? Here are a few to get things started:
>
[stuff deleted]

"U.S. out of North America" -- pedestrian tunnel on Colorado State U. campus

------------------/_________________________________________________________/--
// Kirk Pearson /
/ uunet!telenet!kpearson Sprint International
Reston, VA
--------------/_________________________________________________________/----
Anyone can learn how to paint: a true artist learns how not to paint. -- me

Paul Brinkley

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Jul 18, 1990, 10:02:34 AM7/18/90
to
Those "starters" were pretty good.

About one I read in the stall the other day:

As usual, while I was sitting there, I was reading the literature on hand
when I noticed some writing near the bottom of door. I leaned over to look
at it, and read:

"You are now leaning at 45 degree angle."

(I was, too.)

The Game Master
Paul Brinkley
brin...@cs.utexas.edu

Nik Conwell

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Jul 18, 1990, 11:52:46 AM7/18/90
to

Seen on a wall after you take the Center St exit on Rt. 9 East, in Newton MA:

Jesus Saves


Moses Invests

-nik n...@bu-it.bu.edu.

Ken Johnson

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Jul 18, 1990, 5:38:51 AM7/18/90
to

% Hey netters! How about starting a new thread based on the graffiti you
% have seen in your travels?

Department of Transport poster...

*********************
* CYCLISTS! *
* LEARN THE ART *
* OF SELF-DEFENCE! *
*********************

Handwritten beneath it:

Kill a Motorist!

--
Ken Johnson, AI Applications Institute, 80 South Bridge, Edinburgh EH1 1HN
E-mail k...@aiai.ed.ac.uk, phone 031-225 4464 extension 212

``The truth is less glamorous, but more useful.'' (after Bruce Clayton)

Andy Soravilla

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Jul 18, 1990, 10:49:50 AM7/18/90
to
*>Hey netters
*>How about starting a new thread based on the graffiti you have seen in
*>your travels? Here are a few to get things started:
*>Some graffiti is best when it is embelished by others:
*
*>It's better to get pissed off than to get pissed on.
*>
*> -below-
*>
Unless you are on fire! However if it is an electrical fire it is
safer to be shit on.

Charlie Gibbs

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Jul 18, 1990, 3:59:00 PM7/18/90
to
In article <60...@bu.edu.bu.edu> n...@bu-it.bu.edu (Nik Conwell) writes:

>Jesus Saves

>Moses Invests

Mongol Hoards

Charli...@mindlink.UUCP
"Some people say there's something wrong with you if
you understand this comic strip." -- Odd Bodkins

Eden Van Ballegooijen

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Jul 18, 1990, 5:29:38 PM7/18/90
to

Seen above a condom dispenser(ain't college restrooms great?):

THIS BUBBLE GUM TASTES LIKE RUBBER!


Seen on the walls of bubble gum alley, SLO:

EAT ME! (of course it was spelled entirely with 1000 year old gum)

--Eden :-)

Dan Gordon

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Jul 18, 1990, 1:57:17 PM7/18/90
to
In article <60...@bu.edu.bu.edu> n...@bu-it.bu.edu (Nik Conwell) writes:

>Seen on a wall after you take the Center St exit on Rt. 9 East, in Newton MA:

>Jesus Saves

>Moses Invests

But Mohammed really rakes it in with oil profits.

ind...@jetson.uh.edu

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Jul 18, 1990, 2:48:18 PM7/18/90
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This was seen in the bathroom of one of buildings at uh

"Men are just life-support system for their dicks"

--
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
) Thuy Ngoc Nguyen () To be saved just send $19.95 and we (
) "k dude?" )( will send your geniune autographed (
)e-mail : ind...@elroy.bitnet () picture of Jesus Christ....with eyes (
) ind...@elroy.uh.edu )( that glow in the dark. rhs & kdc (
) University of Houston--University Park (
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Mike Brookbank

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Jul 18, 1990, 7:06:22 PM7/18/90
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------------------------------------------------------
| REVOLUTION IS THE OPIATE OF THE INTELLECTUAL |
| |
| -From the lesser heard sayings of Karl Marx |
------------------------------------------------------


--
|| // // ,'/~~\' Mike Brookbank uunet!watmath!mks!mike
/||/// //|' `\\\ Mortice Kern Systems Inc. (519) 884-2251
/ | //_// ||\___/ 35 King St. N., Waterloo, Ont., Can. N2J 2W9
0_/

Gregory N. Bond

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Jul 18, 1990, 8:22:17 PM7/18/90
to
Well, OK.

(Probably urban ledgend, but a great line anyway....)
A sign outside the Hawthorn Church of Christ, late seventies:

"What would you do if Christ came to Hawthorn?"
added:
"Shift Hudson to centre half forward!"


On a railway bank in Sydney (reported by a friend):
God Hates Homos
added:
But does he like baba gunush?
--
Gregory Bond, Burdett Buckeridge & Young Ltd, Melbourne, Australia
Internet: g...@melba.bby.oz.au non-MX: gnb%melba....@uunet.uu.net
Uucp: {uunet,pyramid,ubc-cs,ukc,mcvax,prlb2,nttlab...}!munnari!melba.bby.oz!gnb

Adrian Hurt

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Jul 19, 1990, 5:31:25 AM7/19/90
to
Copied from a lavatory wall:

+-----------------------------------------------+
| Sex stunts your growth |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Now he tells me! |
+-----------------------------------------------+

"Keyboard? How quaint!" - M. Scott

Adrian Hurt | JANET: adr...@uk.ac.hw.cs
UUCP: ..!ukc!cs.hw.ac.uk!adrian | ARPA: adr...@cs.hw.ac.uk

Dave Polakowski

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Jul 19, 1990, 10:22:57 AM7/19/90
to

From my days at the University of Missouri - Rolla comes this gem:

Virginity is like a bubble in the stream of life:
One prick and it's gone forever.

And this one I saw on a T-shirt worn by a young lady in the local
Subway sandwich shop just yesterday:

Kiss me where it stinks - New Jersey.

Daniel Carl

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Jul 19, 1990, 10:38:33 AM7/19/90
to
The thing that I have seen here at U C Bezerkeley is tiny writing in the grout.
Of course, all the writing contains the words "grout" or "tile."
For example:

Tile of Two Cities
Grout Expectations
Go Tile it on the Mountain
Tastes Grout! Less Tiling!

(you get the idea - there are many more)

Sorrelle Michael W

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Jul 19, 1990, 9:20:05 AM7/19/90
to
In article <6599.2...@jetson.uh.edu> ind...@jetson.uh.edu writes:
>This was seen in the bathroom of one of buildings at uh
>
>"Men are just life-support system for their dicks"

You must have been in the LADIES bathroom to see that, cause that's a
reversal of the classic:
Woman - a life support system for a pussy

-MWS
--
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
| /\/\ /(` | Live long and prosper, and | Guvf fcnpr vf erfreirq sbe |
| / \/\/ _) | may The Force be with you. | n pelcgvp zrffntr. |
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Tim Roberts

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Jul 19, 1990, 3:39:34 PM7/19/90
to
>How about starting a new thread based on the graffiti you have seen in
>your travels?

Here's one that I like to add to those paper toilet seat cover packages (and
there is a vast array of euphemisms for those devices):

All the boxes say at the top "First Pull Up, Then Pull Down", and I have
the irresistable urge to add "Then pull up, then you shake it all about,
do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around...."

I also saw one bathroom wall where, at eye level, a small arrow pointed forward
and towards the ground. As you followed it, the arrows continued pointing until
you got to a very fine print message, upside down, at the very bottom of the
stall: "You're pissing in your beard."

--
Tim N Roberts, CCP ...hplabs!tektronix!sequent!gssc!timr
Illegitimi non carborundum ti...@gssc.gss.com

Joe Voros

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Jul 20, 1990, 12:22:09 AM7/20/90
to
In the student union building tiolet at Univ of Melbourne,
there once existed some of the finest graffiti ever to have
been written. Two quickies.

"The more you cultivate people the more you turn up clods."

In the top right corner of a cubicle, in very small letters,
so small, in fact, that you had to scramble up onto the bowl
and then stand on the water reservoir, squinting upwards,
were the words: "What the hell are you looking up here for?"

--
``The path to the future lies through the
corpus callosum.'' Carl Sagan.

Joe Voros, Physics Dept, Monash University, Clayton, VIC, 3168, Australia.

William M. Bumgarner

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Jul 19, 1990, 9:47:36 PM7/19/90
to
mws...@cs.rit.edu (Sorrelle Michael W) writes:
> In article <6599.2...@jetson.uh.edu> ind...@jetson.uh.edu writes:
> >This was seen in the bathroom of one of buildings at uh
> >
> >"Men are just life-support system for their dicks"
>
> You must have been in the LADIES bathroom to see that, cause that's a
> reversal of the classic:
> Woman - a life support system for a pussy

or:

Men: a life support system for a pussy.
Women: a life support system for a dick.

Guess it depends on how you look at it.

b.bumgarner | Disclaimer: All opinions expressed are my own.
wb...@andrew.cmu.edu | I officially don't represent anyone unless I
NeXT Campus Consultant | explicity say I am doing so. So there. <Thpppt!>
"I ride tandem with the random/Things don't run the way I planned them.."

Francine C. Wiest

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Jul 20, 1990, 11:17:50 AM7/20/90
to

Appearing in the Science Center library bathroom prior to a Chem hourly:

Heisenberg may have been here.
It's uncertain.

RUSSELL EARNEST

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Jul 20, 1990, 10:48:23 AM7/20/90
to
In article <25...@mindlink.UUCP>, a2...@mindlink.UUCP (Charlie Gibbs) writes:
> In article <60...@bu.edu.bu.edu> n...@bu-it.bu.edu (Nik Conwell) writes:
> >Jesus Saves
> >Moses Invests
> Mongol Hoards

OK OK OK . . . .

No body else will say it os I will . . . .

Aaron Rents

So there.

Valerie Ohm

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Jul 20, 1990, 12:51:21 PM7/20/90
to
>Hey netters

>How about starting a new thread based on the graffiti you have seen in
>your travels? Here are a few to get things started:

Once spray-painted on a wall in my hometown (though actually a
suburb of San Jose):

Welcome to San Jose.
Now go home.

HOwever, part of the wall was knocked down several years ago,
so it now reads:

San Jose
go home

>Michael Husman

Valerie Ohm or val...@athena.mit.edu or vjohm%cir...@oliveb.ATC.olivetti.com
"It's like the sound of two oranges being nailed together" - John Michael Stipe
If you actually believe that I might be speaking for Cirrus Logic or MIT, I've
got this nice strip of beachfront property in Kansas that I'd love to sell you.

Bud Howard/10000000

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Jul 20, 1990, 3:07:57 PM7/20/90
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In article <980...@hpcilzb.HP.COM> ed...@hpcilzb.HP.COM (Eden Van Ballegooijen) writes:
>
>
>Seen above a condom dispenser(ain't college restrooms great?):
>
>THIS BUBBLE GUM TASTES LIKE RUBBER!
>--Eden :-)

Advertisement on condom dispenser in bar:


COLLECT ALL THREE

bud

Clayton Tang

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Jul 20, 1990, 5:35:38 PM7/20/90
to
saw this on a stall wall in a *new* building ....

(date, time) well, looks like I'm the first one in line, what a feeling
to start a tradition.
-below-

the saga continues .....


many dates and times below

ta...@tahoe.unr.edu

Kenny Crudup LID-A0794

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Jul 20, 1990, 5:39:23 PM7/20/90
to
In article <60...@bu.edu.bu.edu> n...@bu-it.bu.edu (Nik Conwell) writes:
>Seen on a wall after you take the Center St exit on Rt. 9 East, in Newton MA:

>Jesus Saves
>Moses Invests

Thanks a lot, duuuuuude....now I gotta go see it for myself!

--
Kenneth R. Crudup, Lotus Development Corp. Contractor, NASD/QA system V
1 Rogers Street 6381D, Cambridge, MA 02142. (617) 693 4111.
Work: kcr...@roxbury.lotus.com, Home: nubian!ke...@ima.ima.isc.com
"Hip-hop/smoothed out/on the R&B tip/with a pop feel/appeal/to it."

Mitch Patenaude

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Jul 20, 1990, 6:13:36 PM7/20/90
to
b...@dgsi.UUCP (Bud Howard/10000000) writes:
>
>Advertisement on condom dispenser in bar:
>
> COLLECT ALL THREE

On Berkeley dorm bathroom condom dispenser:

(With arrow to coin slot) Insert baby here for refund.

-- Mitch

--
-- Mitch Patenaude KB6HNH (Roving SysAdmin and Student)
g-pa...@steer.calstate.edu Gan...@Calstate.BITNET
"Hey Rocky! Watch me pull an astrophysicist out of my hat!"

Jaye Jarchow x2735

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Jul 20, 1990, 7:28:09 PM7/20/90
to
>
>The one I got a real kick out of was:
> TRUST IN JESUS
> ... which was painted on a bridge somewhere.

>The first thing that came to mind was that someone, who was obviously a
>criminal type (after all they were vandilizing the bridge with their
>graffiti) wanted me to trust and respect their judgement about their
>religion. And yet, they were willing to openly admit (by the fact they
>used graffiti to display their message) that they were willing to
>flagrently break the law.

So what? Jesus broke the law in his day too.

OBJ: Why do you always take two Mormons with you when you go fishing?

If you take one he will drink all your beer.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Jaye Jarchow | " he's so confused he doesn't know whether to
| scratch his watch or wind his butt"
Intermec Corp. | _ from "Steel Magnolias"
--
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Jaye Jarchow | " he's so confused he doesn't know whether to
| scratch his watch or wind his butt"
Intermec Corp. | _ from "Steel Magnolias"

THORNTON JOHAN A

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Jul 21, 1990, 1:10:39 AM7/21/90
to

original graffiti:

J E S U S S A V E S

modified:

J E S U S ENSLA V E S

------- _/__/ -----------------------------------------------------
_| ___| E l e c t r i c a l | Johan Thornton, Esq.
| | |_/ E n g i n E E r i n g |-------------------------
|/| __| U n i v e r s i t y | jtho...@fs1.ee.ubc.ca
|-| |/__ o f B r i t i s h |-------------------------
| |_____| C o l u m b i a | This space for rent
---- |__|/_| ------------------------------------------------------

Cave Newt

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Jul 22, 1990, 1:56:20 AM7/22/90
to
In article <60...@bu.edu.bu.edu> n...@bu-it.bu.edu (Nik Conwell) writes:

>Jesus Saves

...but Esposito scores on the rebound!


And who could forget that most unfortunate of Air Force slogans,

"Aim High!"

myb...@csc.anu.oz

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Jul 22, 1990, 2:03:11 PM7/22/90
to
In article <35407.2...@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au>, vo...@monash.edu.au (Joe Voros) writes:
> In the student union building tiolet at Univ of Melbourne,
> there once existed some of the finest graffiti ever to have
> been written.

[..I remember these !..]

From the same source: Just above the toilet-paper-roll-holder, written in
formal handwriting:

Arts degrees: Please take one

<Ducks and runs out of room :-) >

> --

>
> Joe Voros, Physics Dept, Monash University, Clayton, VIC, 3168, Australia.

--
===============================================================================
Markus Buchhorn /// | This space
Mt Stromlo and Siding Spring Observatories, Canberra /// |
PMB Weston Ck. P.O. A.C.T. 2611, Australia \\\/// | intentionally
mar...@mso.anu.oz.au -or- nssdca::psi%mssso::markus \XX/ | left blank
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phone donations: AUS-6-249-0280 Flames: alt.dev.null Disclaimer: standard
===============================================================================

Mark Bishop

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Jul 22, 1990, 4:02:13 PM7/22/90
to

Seen above a toilet:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat..

================>"If I were only WindSurfing the Gorge"<===============
.___
\ ^^^\
\ 777 \
___---_ > \
__--wsurf.( ) )
__-Mark Bishop( )....._ )
__-- Purdue U. .(__________-,-____-----

--


.___
\ ^^\

Brian Gray

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Jul 24, 1990, 7:54:31 AM7/24/90
to
In article <84...@latcs1.oz.au> j...@latcs1.oz.au (Joan McGalliard) writes:
>
>Seen on one of those electrical hot-air hand-dryers:
> ...
>4. Wipe hands dry on trousers.
>

Here at KSU, there is one which says:
"Press here for short lecture by the Dean."

Joan McGalliard

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Jul 24, 1990, 3:43:39 AM7/24/90
to

Seen on one of those electrical hot-air hand-dryers:

1. Push button
2. Rub hands together
3. Switches off automatically

(and handwritten underneath)

4. Wipe hands dry on trousers.

joan
--
Joan McGalliard,
"Beware of geeks baring GIFs" Latrobe University,
Department of Computer Science.
Melbourne, Australia.

Pedro Jorge Veiga

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Jul 24, 1990, 7:23:27 AM7/24/90
to
In article <Mada_sC00W0201TFs=@andrew.cmu.edu> wb...@andrew.cmu.edu (William M. Bumgarner) writes:
> mws...@cs.rit.edu (Sorrelle Michael W) writes:
> > In article <6599.2...@jetson.uh.edu> ind...@jetson.uh.edu writes:
> > >This was seen in the bathroom of one of buildings at uh
> > >
> > >"Men are just life-support system for their dicks"
> >
> > You must have been in the LADIES bathroom to see that, cause that's a
> > reversal of the classic:
> > Woman - a life support system for a pussy
>
> or:
>
> Men: a life support system for a pussy.
> Women: a life support system for a dick.
>
> Guess it depends on how you look at it.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

From the outside?

--
Pedro Veiga
Engenharia Informatica
Faculdade de Ciencias e Tecnologia -*- Universidade Nova de Lisboa
BITNET/Internet: p...@fctunl.rccn.pt
UUCP: p...@unl.uucp

Jaye Jarchow x2735

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Jul 24, 1990, 6:22:36 PM7/24/90
to
In article <telnet.648743446@blackjack> ha...@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart) writes:
>>And who could forget that most unfortunate of Air Force slogans,
>
>> "Aim High!"

OK, I give up. What's the joke?

Wayne Wood

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Jul 25, 1990, 12:49:04 PM7/25/90
to
In article <PJV.90Ju...@zen.fctunl.rccn.pt> p...@fctunl.rccn.pt (Pedro Jorge Veiga) writes:
>>
>> Men: a life support system for a pussy.
>> Women: a life support system for a dick.

according to Ford Fairlane (andrew dice clay)...

a pussy is the box a dick comes in...

just thought you'd like to know
/*** woody ****************************************************************
*** ...tongue tied and twisted, just an earth bound misfit, I... ***
*** -- David Gilmour, Pink Floyd ***
****** wo...@eos.arc.nasa.gov *** my opinions, like my mind, are my own ******/

Kenny Crudup LID-A0794

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Jul 25, 1990, 5:09:30 PM7/25/90
to
In article <84...@latcs1.oz.au> j...@latcs1.oz.au (Joan McGalliard) writes:
>Seen on one of those electrical hot-air hand-dryers:
>1. Push button
>2. Rub hands together under warm air
>3. Stops automatically

I have been in a lot of places in the US, geographically, and no matter
where, I "go", the bathroom dryer always reads as below, certain letters
strategically rubbed out:

1. Push butt
( Push button )
2. Rub hands together under arm
( Rub hands together under warm air )
3. Stop auto at ally
( Stops automatically )

Anyone else notice this? Its probably a mens room phenomenon.

--
Kenneth R. Crudup, Lotus Development Corp. Contractor, NASD/QA system V
1 Rogers Street 6381D, Cambridge, MA 02142. (617) 693 4111.

My contract is _ e_ n_ d_ i_ n_ g. Please send mail to: nubian!ke...@ima.ima.isc.com

Chris J Hillery

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Jul 26, 1990, 1:06:41 AM7/26/90
to
kcr...@lotus.com (Kenny Crudup LID-A0794) writes:
>I have been in a lot of places in the US, geographically, and no matter
>where, I "go", the bathroom dryer always reads as below, certain letters
>strategically rubbed out:

>1. Push butt
>( Push button )
>2. Rub hands together under arm
>( Rub hands together under warm air )
>3. Stop auto at ally
>( Stops automatically )

>Anyone else notice this? Its probably a mens room phenomenon.

Yup! That's just about everywhere, especially the first two lines (the third
varies somewhat); usually these are followed by

4. Ask attendent for towel or 4. Wipe hands on pants

or the like.... I think some guys got real drunk about five years ago and
went cross-country disfiguring all the hand-driers at McDonald's and gas
stations. (I wonder if they're responsible for the "new breed" of hand driers,
that just have little rebus pictures depicting what you're to do...as if
we couldn't figure it out by now... geez... =)

>--
>Kenneth R. Crudup, Lotus Development Corp. Contractor, NASD/QA system V
>1 Rogers Street 6381D, Cambridge, MA 02142. (617) 693 4111.
>My contract is _ e_ n_ d_ i_ n_ g. Please send mail to: nubian!ke...@ima.ima.isc.com
>"Hip-hop/smoothed out/on the R&B tip/with a pop feel/appeal/to it."


--
//..is|While 1 DO|Erin,Erin,where are|Art of Noise space| -- Ceej (=
\X/there| Fork; |you? /-----------.-^------------------|ce...@pawl.rpi.edu
AMIGAany|----------^-----|Cebhq gb or|Reclaimer:Hey!That's| gm...@mts.rpi.edu
(=other?|HOW DO YOU FEEL.|Yvoreny! (=|mine! Bring it back!|aka Chris Hillery

Nathan Kronenfeld

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Jul 26, 1990, 9:37:42 AM7/26/90
to
I can't claim to have personally seen this, but a friend assures me
that in one Brandies bathroom, dead center on the door going out of
one of the stalls, reads:

"This might just be that one in ten billion chance that the
molecules of your body align perfectly with those of this door, and
you will be able to walk right through it. Go ahead, try it!"

-nathan

Parikshat Kapur

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Jul 26, 1990, 7:33:18 PM7/26/90
to


> or the like.... I think some guys got real drunk about five years ago and
> went cross-country disfiguring all the hand-driers at McDonald's and gas
> stations. (I wonder if they're responsible for the "new breed" of hand driers
> that just have little rebus pictures depicting what you're to do...as if
> we couldn't figure it out by now... geez... =)


The talk about bathrooms and drunks reminded me of something pretty funny that
happened 2 months ago. I was at home in Bombay, and they have these bathroom
attendents in the 5 star hotels' bathrooms who hand you towels after you wash
your hands or whatever.

Being drunk I was taking a piss in the stalls(where I can drop my pants and take
a comfortable piss :-) Being a bit too drunk I guess my aiming wasn't as good
and so I had to use some toilet paper to wipe my hands(I know, I know, but these
things happen ok!) After pulling up my pants, while tucking my shirt back into
my pants the toilet paper hanging from the roll somehow got tucked in too, and I
walked out of the stall draging a line of toilet paper behind me. The other
drunks waiting for me almost died laughing when they saw me. But the bathroom
attendant not knowing whether to laugh or not offered me a towel. Having figured
out what was going on, with a typical drunk smile on my face I pulled the toilet
paper out of my pants and said, "No thank you, I brought my own!"

You just had to be there I guess, plus your're not drunk!

Any more drunk stories?

-- pk

WIEDENHOEFT KURT

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Jul 27, 1990, 12:50:24 AM7/27/90
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In article <74...@amelia.nas.nasa.gov> roe...@amelia.nas.nasa.gov (Cave Newt) writes:
>And who could forget that most unfortunate of Air Force slogans,
>
> "Aim High!"

A humorous note...a few years ago (our senior year of high school), my friend's
dad secretly taped an Air Force ad saying "High School Seniors Aim High" on the
underside of the toilet bowl lid...

I guess ya had to be there...

Harold Rabbie

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Jul 27, 1990, 3:06:59 AM7/27/90
to
Seen on a condom dispenser in a men's restroom:

This chewing gum tastes like rubber.....

iaf...@csc.anu.oz

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Jul 27, 1990, 12:06:44 PM7/27/90
to
In article <84...@latcs1.oz.au>, j...@latcs1.oz.au (Joan McGalliard) writes:
>
> Seen on one of those electrical hot-air hand-dryers:
>
> 1. Push button
> 2. Rub hands together
> 3. Switches off automatically
>
> (and handwritten underneath)
>
> 4. Wipe hands dry on trousers.
>
> joan
> --

On the hand-dryer here, a small sticker placed on the button :-

"For a short speech by the Director, please push."
_
'I say we take off and nuke / \ iaf...@csc.anu.oz.au
the entire site from orbit. ( / $ Ian Fairchild
It's the only way to \/ $ Computer Services Centre
be sure.' / _ _ $ Australian National University
Ripley (__/__(_\__/ )_ $ GPO Box 4, Canberra, ACT, 2601
_____________________________________________________________________________

Jonathan A. Elgart

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Jul 27, 1990, 5:01:21 PM7/27/90
to
In article <24...@boulder.Colorado.EDU> wied...@boulder.Colorado.EDU
(WIEDENHOEFT KURT) writes:

>A humorous note...a few years ago (our senior year of high school), my
friend's
>dad secretly taped an Air Force ad saying "High School Seniors Aim
High" on the
>underside of the toilet bowl lid...

My roommate's friends last year would run a "bit," wherein whenever
somebody went the bathroom more than once in an evening, the following
exchange would result:

Comedian: Have you got T.B. or something?
Straight Man (who had just returned from the bathroom): What, tuberculosis?
Comedian: No -- Tiny Bladder!
(hilarity ensues)

So I cut out a headline from the paper, above an article about
tuberculosis research, and taped it to the privy. The headline read:
"Progress Against TB."
(more hilarity ensues)

--
Jonathan Elgart <je...@andrew.cmu.edu>

Bruce McKenzie

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Jul 27, 1990, 5:18:58 PM7/27/90
to
In article <1990Jul25.2...@lotus.com> kcr...@lotus.UUCP (Kenny Crudup LID-A0794) writes:
>1. Push butt
>( Push button )
>2. Rub hands together under arm
>( Rub hands together under warm air )
>3. Stop auto at ally
>( Stops automatically )

Forward-thinking Calif. legislators have long required the presence of
signs proclaiming "Wash hands before returning to work".
In a semi-local retaurant the phrase after it ("Unwashed hands spread
disease") was edited to "Wash hands and spread disease". There was more,
but I canna remember it.

Speaking of signs, the San Jose Library commissioned a sign proclaiming
"Welcome!" in ~42 languages (this is ~two years ago). The sign was painted
and hung outside the library, all 30-50 feet of it, and a gardener came
in to the library and wanted to talk to someone about it, but wouldn't say
what the prob was. (He was Filipino(?)). Seems the Tagalog version did not
say "Welcome!". Instead, it proclaimed "Circumcise!", and he was too
embarassed to say this in front of the (predominantly) female library staff.

They found out that four or five of the greetings were incorrect...

Bruce

--------------------------------------------------------------------
No, your car has too many wheels!
Bruce McKenzie (Trihawk owner)
"Here I am, brain the size of a planet...." -- Marvin
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Perry G Ramsey

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Jul 28, 1990, 8:22:56 PM7/28/90
to

Ur jub jevgrf ba fuvgubhfr jnyyf,
Ebyyf uvf fuvg va yvggyr onyyf,
Ur jub ernqf gurfr jbeqf bs jvg,
Rngf gubfr yvggyr onyyf bs fuvg.

--
Perry G. Ramsey Department of Earth and Atmospheric Sciences
per...@vm.cc.purdue.edu Purdue University
d...@mace.cc.purdue.edu We've looked at clouds from ten sides now,
And we REALLY don't know clouds, at all.

Nanette Reisor

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Jul 30, 1990, 12:04:56 PM7/30/90
to

Maybe 10 years ago the B&O railroad decided to repaint their RR bridge here
in Newark, DE. It had been covered with *many* messages by the local
residents. Shortly after the new dull green paint job someone with a sense
of humor decided it needed to be "decorated." He/She took white paint and,
in big letters, wrote "LIONEL" (you know, the company that makes the toy
trains) on the bridge. The locals thought it was clever and no additional
"decoration" was done. It even got a write-up in the Philadelphia paper
(Delaware section). Unfortunately for evenone, B&O was not amused. They
came back and repainted the bridge again. And this time it was quickly
covered with the standard "Jim loves Joan" messages. Sigh!

nan

Jason Hamari

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Aug 2, 1990, 11:57:34 PM8/2/90
to
j...@latcs1.oz.au (Joan McGalliard) writes:
>Seen on one of those electrical hot-air hand-dryers:
>1. Push button
>2. Rub hands together
>3. Switches off automatically
>(and handwritten underneath)
>4. Wipe hands dry on trousers.

I saw one of those machines, and someone had scraped off some parts of
it:

1. Push butt
2. Rub hands on butt
3. Take off automr/*}tically


4. Wipe hands on pants

(By the way, the person had scratched some extra words in too.)
--
---:=< Joystyk >=:---
If you love the U.P. raise your right ski!
joy...@lopez.UUCP (Joystyk)