wreck.humor repeats

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Chris Rolleston

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Feb 9, 1993, 5:54:00 PM2/9/93
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Reply-To: rolle...@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz

All repeats but what the hell.

[WARNING! Some content may offend]

---
"With our combined strength we can end this destructive conflict and
bring order to the galaxy." - Darth Vader
---
HELP WANTED.....Man to help assemble Radioactive Nuclear Atomic
Fission Plant:...Must believe in God.
---
Reincarnation: life sucks, then you die. Then life sucks again.
---
"Master Yoda, I can't pick up my peas!"
"Use the fork luke!...It will be with you....always."
---
Some people are born useless...
Some aspire to uselessness...
And some have uselessness thrust upon them.
---
The good news is the ear has 30,000 channels to the brain, the bad
news is that they're all nonlinear" -- M.B. Sachs
---
There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to
light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.
---
The business plan you prepare must be a lie... But it must be a
detailed and precise lie rather than a vague and general lie.
---
The idea of daylight-savings is like trying to be taller by cutting
off your head and standing on it.
---
Kid1: "My dad's the best. Do You know Lake Erie? He dug the hole for it!"
Kid2: "My dad's even better! Do You know the Dead Sea? My dad shot it!"
---
Q: Why is sleeping with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
A: They both cost 50 bucks and if the rubber breaks you die.
---
"I was out hunting the other day, and I came upon a beautiful woman
sunning herself in the forest. She smiled at me, so I said `Are you
game?' She smiled and wriggled, and said `oh, yes.' So I shot her."
---
_______
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.signature file before posting to protect yourself from .sig virii
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If God had wanted us to have elections, he would have given us candidates.
---
Due to continuing recessionary difficulties the light at the end of the
tunnel will be turned off until further notice.
---
Q. Why did the pervert cross the road?
A. His dick was in the chicken.
---
LOGICIANS hunt elephants by drawing a circle on the ground with a stick.
That circle contains the NULL set of elephants, and outside the circle
contains the complete set of elephants. Then they invert the sets and
all the elephants are now within the circle.
---
HYSTERECTOMY: An operation that removes the baby carriage but leaves the
playpen in good condition.
---
Life sucks, and then you get a girlfriend that doesn't!
---
A man and woman had not had sex for a long time. The man simply stated
that he was 'too tired from work.'
Well, one night, the woman couldn't stand it any longer and when the man
came home, she led him to the bedroom, took off her clothes and said,
"Make me feel like a woman!"
So the man took off his clothes, threw them on the floor and said,
"Wash these bitch!"
---
Man at bar to companion: I had some words with my wife, and she had
some paragraphs with me
---
Q: How many pedants does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Pedants don't c-h-a-n-g-e lightbulbs, they r-e-p-l-a-c-e them.
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Q. How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A. Take away its credit cards
---
And then there was Pac-Bell's resident expert on fiber-optic
communications. Sort of a specialist in light conversation.
---
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you take your meat out.
---
Three reasons why anal sex is better than vaginal sex.

1) It's warmer
2) It's tighter
3) It's degrading for the woman.
---
. SPEED 1.20 [NR] . Really? What a coincidence, I'm shallow too.

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