More Limericks

[majo...@amherst.bitnet]

Here's my little addition to the Limerick collection:

There was a young girl named Lynn,
Whose mother, to save her from sin,
Had plugged up her crack
With a quart of shellac,
But the boys picked it out with a pin.

There was a young couple named Kelly,
Who had to live belly to belly,
Because once in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of Petroleum Jelly.

Rude, yes, but humorous nonetheless. These are from memory of a book that was
once out called "Dirty Little Limericks," so obviously there are a lot more out
there...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!! Mike Johnson !! "Chicks dig me 'cause I rarely wear !!
!! majo...@amherst.bitnet !! underwear, and when I do, it's usually !!
!! Just call me "kiih" !! something unusual." !!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Stephan E J Papa]

Here's my little addition to the Limerick collection:

(Many of these are from John Valby (sp?).

There once was a woman named Alice,
Who used a dynamite stick as a phalis.
They found her vagina
in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Dallas.

There once was a man from Bancock,
Who had holes 'long the length of his cock.
When he would get an erection,
He could play a selection
From Johann Sebastian Bach.

There was a man from Nantucket,
Whose dick was so long he could suck it,
He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it."

WARNING: Last chance to not be ruded out.
^L

There was an whore named Ilene,
Whose cunt wasn't kept very clean.
The scum would drip out
of her smelly old spout.
which she would scrape up and eat with saltines.

CHORUS:
Aiii Yaiii yaii Yaiiii
Your sister goes down on corn muffins ***
So tell me another one
Much worse than the other ones
And waltz me around by my willys.

*** - Your grandmother swims after troop ships
Your brothers in love with a carrot
(I don't remember any others)
--
Stephan E.J. Papa | (408)737-5347 or | se...@outs.ccc.amdahl.com |
Amdahl Corporation | (800)538-8460x75347 | |
[ The opinions expressed above mine! all mine! mine, mine, mine! ]
[ These in no way reflect the opinions or policies of Amdahl Corp. ]

[Greg Panfile - Sun BOS Information Architecture]

In article <bbr702h...@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com> se...@OUTS.ccc.amdahl.com (Stephan E.J. Papa) writes:

CHORUS:
> Aiii Yaiii yaii Yaiiii
> Your sister goes down on corn muffins ***

>*** - Your grandmother swims after troop ships

> Your brothers in love with a carrot
> (I don't remember any others)

...your mother eats batshit off cave walls

is what we sang on the bus in sophomore year of high school.

[MRH...@oduvm.bitnet]

Here's the grossest one I know:

There once was a woman named Dot
Who lived off of pigshit and snot
When she couldn't get these
She's eat the green cheese
That she scraped from the sides of her twat

Ole'!
Frizbog

[Chris Hapgood]

> Your sister goes down on corn muffins ***

> Your brothers in love with a carrot

I always heard: your sister does deep knee bends in cucumber patches
your mama eats batshit off cave walls.

[Jim Kirby]

In article <29...@jaytee.East.Sun.COM> writes:

>In article <bbr702h...@JUTS.ccc.amdahl.com> se...@OUTS.ccc.amdahl.com (Step>han E.J. Papa) writes:

CHORUS:
>> Aiii Yaiii yaii Yaiiii
>> Your sister goes down on corn muffins ***

>>*** - Your grandmother swims after troop ships
>> Your brothers in love with a carrot
>> (I don't remember any others)

>...your mother eats batshit off cave walls

>is what we sang on the bus in sophomore year of high school.

how about

... Your sister rides bicycles without seats.
... Mr. Spock sucks photon torpedoes.

Just a thought for those that think. =)

jk

[marc g boffardi]

In article <29...@jaytee.East.Sun.COM> gpan...@east.sun.com (Greg Panfile - Sun BOS Information Architecture) writes:
>...your mother eats batshit off cave walls
>

... your sister sticks to the sofa
... your mother squats in the cat box
... Mr. Spock sucks photon torpedos
... disco freaks suck mirror balls

and much much more...

Marc Boffardi
BOFF...@acsu.buffalo.edu
v081...@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu
.sig THIS!

[Yes, as a Matter of Fact, I *DO* Own This Whole Damned Site]

In article <41...@eerie.acsu.Buffalo.EDU> boff...@acsu.buffalo.edu (marc g boffardi) writes:
>In article <29...@jaytee.East.Sun.COM> gpan...@east.sun.com (Greg Panfile - Sun BOS Information Architecture) writes:
>>...your mother eats batshit off cave walls

> ... your mother squats in the cat box
> ... Mr. Spock sucks photon torpedos
> ... disco freaks suck mirror balls

Your track coach does squat thrusts on fire plugs.

ER

[Andrew WATERSTON]

here's some more:
Your sister's first love was a chainsaw
your sister swims after tube boats
that's all I can think of for now

wa...@quiche.cs.mcgill.ca
if I get through the week, I'll try not to get through the weekend.

[Pete Dickson]

AAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!! SICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICKSICK
Laughed my ASS off!

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Signature? I never read what I write, and don't sign anything I haven't
read first. I won't sign! I won't! I won't! ok here...dickson@felix.UUCP
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Hoffman]

> BOS Information Architecture) writes:
>>...your mother eats batshit off cave walls
>>
> ... your sister sticks to the sofa
> ... your mother squats in the cat box
> ... Mr. Spock sucks photon torpedos
> ... disco freaks suck mirror balls
>
> and much much more...
>

....and even more

... your mother does squat thrusts on fire hydrants
... your mother douches with DRANO
... your sister plays tonsil hockey
... your brother fxxxs Butterball Turkeys

I. M. Knotmark