SHIT LIST wanted

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William P. Logan

Sep 9, 1992, 12:01:03 AM9/9/92
Does anyone out there have a copy of the SHIT LIST? A friend gave it to
me awhile ago, but I lost it. If you have a copy, please post it, 'cause
people who haven't seen it yet would get a kick out of it.


Internet:||"I am a constant soldier, a sometime poet
William P. Logan || and I will be king!"
|| --Prince Richard
|| _The Lion in Winter_

Chip Switzer

Sep 9, 1992, 7:48:26 AM9/9/92

=========== The Shit List ===========

1. Ghost Shit: The kind where you feel the shit come out, but there
no shit in the toilet.

2. Clean Shit: The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet
but there's nothing on the toilet paper.

3. Wet Shit: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still
feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt a
underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.

4. Second Wave Shit: This happens when you are done shitting and you
pull your pants up to your knees, and realize that you have to shit
some more.

5. Brain Hemorage Shit (or the Pop-a-vein-in-your-forehead Shit):
The kind where you strain so much get it out you practically have a stroke.

6. Lincoln Log Shit: The kind of shit that is so huge you're afraid
to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet

7. Gassey Shit: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling.

8. Drinker's Shit: The kind of shit you have the morning after a long
night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks
bottom of the toilet.

9. Corn Shit: Self explanatory.

10. "Gee I wish I could shit" Shit: The kind where you want to shit but
all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

11. Spinal Tap Shit: That's where it hurts so badly coming out you'd
swear it was leaving you sideways.

12. Wet Cheeks Shit (or the Power Dump): The kind that comes out of your
ass so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

13. Liquid Shit: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of
butt and splashes all over the inside of your toilet bowl, the
whole time chronically burning your tender anus.

14. Mexican Food Shit: It smells so bad your nose burns.

15: Upper Class Shit: The kind of shit that doesn't smell.

16: The Surprise Shit: You're not even at the toilet because you're
you are about to fart, but oops!....A shit!

17: The Dangling Shit: The shit refuses to drop into the toilet even
though you know you're done shit-ing it. You just pray a shake or
two will cut it loose.

Chip Switzer "A witty saying proves nothing." -- Voltaire

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