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Confucious sayings

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Costa Savva

Dec 19, 1994, 12:49:16 PM12/19/94
Here is my list of confucious sayings. Please mail me any which you may have
but I do not have.

Confucius Say

It take square ass to shit brick.
Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Man who fart in church ,sit in own pew.
Woman who dance while wearing a jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Man with whole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Man with hands in pockets feel foolish, man with hole in pocket feel nuts.
Secretary not permanent till screwed on desk.
A girls best asset is her liability ('lie'ability).
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolour.
Man who goes to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
Baby conceived on back seat of automatic car will grow up to be a shiftless bastard.
Man who lay girl on hill not level.
Man who lay woman on ground has peace (piece) on earth.
Man who argue with wife all day not get any peace (piece) all night.
Man who marries a girl with no bust has a right to feel low down.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
He who fishes in another mans pond will often catch crabs.
Man who loses key to apartment not get new key (nookie).
Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.
Man who is jacking into a peanut jar is fucking nuts.
Wash your face in morning neck at night.
Man who stand on toilet get high on pot.
Man who fly upside-down have crack up.
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
Britain good place to put Chinese resturant.
Man who drop watch down toilet bound to have shitty time.
Man who goes to bed sith sex on mind wakes up with solution in hand.

He who rapes a mans daughter,
draws and quarters his son,
and buries his wife alive in an anthill
should not expect to sit at that mans table without the subject coming up.

There is no such thing as rape;
Woman run faster with skirt up than man with pants down.

Man who take woman on camping trip have one intent (one in tent).
Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.
He who pull out too fast leave rubber behind.
He who refuses to listen is lying.

When lady says no she mean maybe,
when lady say maybe she mean yes,
when lady say yes she no lady.

Woman who not practice sex before marriage is sentenced to an interminate
length.He who sniffs coke drowns.
Crowded lift smells different to midget.
Man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead.
Virginity like bubble - one prick.. all gone!
Foolish man give wife grand piano - wise man give wife upright organ.
Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to flies undoing.
Never piss into wind.
Never eat yellow snow.
Boy who plays with himself pulls boner.
Baseball very funny game - man with four balls no can walk.
Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town.
Support bacteria - It's the only culture some people have.
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss baloons.
Man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet.
He who outruns the cheetah is fucking fast on his feet.
He who sitteth on upturned tack shall sureley rise.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in the desert.
The hand that turneth the knob opens the door.

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