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The Rink

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Feb 29, 1992, 9:58:56 PM2/29/92
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In dealing with their own problems, faculty members are the
most extreme conservatives.
In dealing with other people's problems, they are the
world's most extreme liberals.
(Clark Kerr)


In democracy it's your vote that counts;
in feudalism it's your count that votes.


In giving advice seek to help, not to please
your friend.
(Solon)


In handling a stinging insect, move very slowly.
(Lazurus Long)


In nature there are no rewards or punishments; there are consequences.


In seeking the unattainable, simplicity only gets in the way.
(Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982)


In the face of entropy and nothingness, you kind of have to pretend it's not
there if you want to keep writing good code.
(Karl)


In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds.


In the future, you're going to get computers as prizes in breakfast cereals.
You'll throw them out because your house will be littered with them.
(Robert Lucky)


In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true
or becomes true.
(John Lilly)


In the realm of scientific observation, luck is granted only to those who are
prepared.
(Louis Pasteur)


In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it.


Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major
categories: those that don't work, those that break down, and those
that get lost.
(Russell Baker)


Incumbent: Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.


Ingrate: A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of
indigestion.


Is there life before death?


"Is this program available for all the machines?"
"Just the VAX, Ma'am."


Isn't it strange that the same people that laugh at gypsy fortune
tellers take economists seriously?


It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no
distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
(Mark Twain)


It does not matter how badly you paint as
long as you don't paint badly like other
people.
(George Moore)


It does not matter if you fall down
as long as you pick up something from
the floor while you get up.


It has come to our considered attention that in a
large majority of cases, far too many people use a
great deal more words than is absolutely necessary
when engaged in the practice of writing sentences.


It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
(Albert Einstein)


It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.
(Willie Sutton)


It is against the grain of modern education to teach children to
program. What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in
organizing thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be
self-critical?
(Alan Perlis)


It is always a silly thing to give advice,
but to give good advice is absolutely fatal.
(Oscar Wilde)


It is always good practice to never split infinitives.


It is always the best policy to tell the
truth, unless, of course, you are an
exceptionally good liar.
(Jerome K. Jerome)


It is better never to have been born. But who among us has such luck?
One in a million, perhaps.


It is better to be a coward for a minute
than dead the rest of your life.
(Italian Proverb)


It is better to have loafed and lost
than never to have loafed at all.
(James Thurber)


It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.


It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
(James Thurber)


It is better to live rich than to die rich.


It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool
than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.


It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly
and try another. But above all, try something.
(Franklin D. Roosevelt)


It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
(George Bernard Shaw)


It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice
versa.


It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
(Alfred Adler)


It is incumbent on one to avoid archaisms.


It is more shameful to distrust one's friends than to be
deceived by them.
(La Rochefoucauld)


It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.


It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.
(Jules Becker)


It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat
somebody.
(Richard M. Nixon)
--
Sam. s...@kepler.unh.edu
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An egotist is a person of low taste--more interested in himself than in me.
-------------------------------------------------Ambrose Bierce----------------

Jim B. Byers

unread,
Mar 2, 1992, 3:36:54 PM3/2/92
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"Prejudice doesn't have a Chinaman's chance in Chicago"
- Former Mayor Richard Daley Sr.

"I am tired of all these insinuendoes."
- Former Mayor Richard Daley Sr.

"If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure"
-Dan Quayle

Jim Byers

Andrew Ford @ AGCS, Phoenix, Arizona

unread,
Mar 3, 1992, 5:57:24 PM3/3/92
to
These are not *all* funny, but many are and I do not care to edit out
the more serious ones. They are all very good quotes and most would
do well in a .sig. I have credited the authors where possible, anything
with no name is from an unknown author.

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Do unto others as they do unto you - so they can see what how it feels.
Dwight Tovey

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"It is better to go into a corner slow and come out fast,
than to go into a corner fast and come out dead." Stirling Moss

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Television - a medium. So called
because it is neither rare nor well
done.
Ernie Kovacs

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Education is a journey, not a destination.

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Advice is priceless; when it becomes interference it is preposterous.

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You must believe in free-will; there is no choice. Isaac Singer

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"Trust everybody ... then cut the cards."

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"Having failed in his attempts to lead America,
Bush is now trying to lead the world."

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In the Beginning, there was Nothing. And God said,"Let there be Light!"
And there was STILL nothing. But, you could SEE IT!

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There's something in my library to offend everybody.
--- Washington Coalition Against Censorship

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Health is simply the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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Definition: A manager is a person who thinks that nine women can
produce a child in one month.

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"It takes many good deeds to build a good reputation,
and only one bad one to lose it."
Benjamin Franklin

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"So many Assholes...
So few bullets." -Ford Fairlane

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There are two rules for success...
1) never tell everything you know. Roger H. Lincoln

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When you outlaw rights, only outlaws will have rights. ***
Drew Betz, Dept. of Psych, Ohio State University

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"An armed society is a polite society." - Hienlin

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It seems that the people trying to tell us to give up our 2nd Amendment
rights are the same people that advise women not to fight a rapist.
And the results are about the same.

Chris Grant

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Truth is. Belief is not required. -- Gerry Roston

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"Live Free or Die; Death is not the worst of evils."
- General John Stark (1809)

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"The most foolish mistake we could possibly make would be to allow the
subjected people to carry arms, history shows that all conquerors who have
allowed their subjected peoples to carry arms have prepared their own fall"
-Adolph Hitler, Edict of March 18, 1938.

***********************************************************************

We preserve our freedoms using three boxes: ballot, jury,
and cartridge. Myron A. Calhoun, Ph.D. E.E.;

***********************************************************************

"Only the criminal and the Tyrant have cause to fear the armed citizen.
I ask, Sir, which are you?"

***********************************************************************

"Not being there" is extremely effective, but it is absurd to blame
the victim for failing to accomplish it, or to use it as an excuse to
restrict the victim's options.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

-Benjamin Franklin Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759

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The French have a phrase that covers this:
"Le plus les choses changent le plus ils restent le meme, i.e.
The more things change, the more they stay the same."

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"A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state,
the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."
-- Second Amendment, United States Constitution

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"Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who
approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright
force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined."
-Patrick Henry

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"Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of
chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course
others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!"
-- Patrick Henry

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"The supreme power in America cannot enforce unjust laws by the sword;
because the whole body of the people are armed, and constitute a force
superior to any band of regular troops."
-- Noah Webster, "An Examination into the Leading
Principles of the Federal Constitution" (1787)

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"Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who
don't." -- Rich Benedict (????) (Usenet .sig)

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Gun control is OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Act) for
criminals and dictators.
-- Brian Vandewettering ... br...@pdx.csd.mot.com

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"It is necessary, however, for this imagery to be maintained if proponents
are to argue that gun control can reduce crime. They must believe in the
existence of a substantial number of persons who are willing and able to
break serious laws such as those prohibiting murder, assault, and robbery,
yet who are not willing or able to break gun control laws. If someone
lacks the first attribute, preventing them from getting guns would be
pointless for crime control; if they lacked the second, it would be
impossible."

Kleck "Point Blank: Guns and Violence in America:"


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"Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone
who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it
but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are
ruined... The great object is that every man be armed"

--- Patrick Henry, quoted in ed. Morton Borden, The Antifederalist
Papers, vol 3

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"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms. The strongest
reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as
a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."

--- Thomas Jefferson, Proposal Virginia Constitution, June 1776

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"Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself. They are the
American people's liberty teeth and keystone under independence...From the
hour the Pilgrims landed, to the present day, events, occurances, and
tendencies prove that to insure peace, security, and happiness, the rifle
and pistol are equally indispensable. Every corner of this land knows firearms,
and more than 99 99/100 percent of them by their silence indicate they are
in safe and sane hands. The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere and everywhere
restrains evil interference - they deserve a place of honor with all that's
good. WHEN FIREARMS GO, ALL GOES - we need them every hour."

--- George Washington, 2nd Session of 1st Congress

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Before a standing army can rule, the people must be disarmed; as they
are in almost every kingdom in Europe. The supreme power in America
cannot enforce unjust laws by the sword, because the whole body of the
people are armed, and constitute a force superior to any band of
regular troops that can be, on any pretense, raised in the United
States.

--- Noah Webster

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"The tree of liberty must be watered periodically with the blood of
tyrants and patriots alike. It is its natural manure."

--- Thomas Jefferson

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"On every question of construction let us carry ourselves back to the
time when the Constitution was adopted, recollect the spirit manifested
in the debates, and instead of trying what meaning may be squeezed out
of the text, or invented against it, conform to the probable one in
which it was passed."

--- Thomas Jefferson, letter to William Johnson, June 12, 1823,
The Complete Jefferson, p322.

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--
Send a message to the Republicans and the Democrats: Vote Libertarian across the
board! (If 10% of votes go to Lib's, both parties will sit up and listen).
Andrew Ford INTERNET: gtephx!fo...@asuvax.eas.asu.edu
UUCP: !ncar!noao!asuvax!gtephx!forda OR !uunet!samsung!romed!asuvax

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