Iowa Jokes

Julia Wilkinson

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Jul 2, 1991, 11:05:09 PM7/2/91

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What color license plates do Iowans get if they flunk their drivers test?
Blue and White.

Why do the trees in Minnesota lean south?
Because Iowa sucks.

Why do birds fly upside down over Iowa?
Because Iowa isn't worth a crap.

What's the best thing to come out of Iowa?
I-35.

If you find out you only have 2 weeks to live, why should you move to
Iowa?
Because in Iowa 2 weeks will feel like 2 years.

What's the difference between an Iowa girl and a police car?
It takes TWO police cars to block an intersection.

What's the difference between an Iowa man and an inch worm?
Nothing.

What are the first 3 words in the Iowa constitution?
Attention K-Mart shoppers.

What's the difference between VD and a condominium in Iowa?
You can get rid of VD.

Why do Iowa State graduates put their diplomas on the dashboard?
So they can park in the handicapped zone.

What do women do when a man from Iowa exposes himself?
Squint.

Understand people in Iowa are pretty upset. Seems the lady who had the
formula for ice died.

Why did God create the midwest?
To keep California 3000 miles away.

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That poster isn't worth the printer it's papered on.
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Julia

Darwin Miller

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Jul 3, 1991, 9:50:04 AM7/3/91

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Did you hear Minnesota just opened a new zoo?
They put a fence around Iowa.

Chris Bovitz

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Jul 3, 1991, 12:59:14 PM7/3/91

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In article <1991Jul3.1...@m.cs.uiuc.edu> mil...@m.cs.uiuc.edu (Darwin Miller) writes:
>Did you hear Minnesota just opened a new zoo?
> They put a fence around Iowa.

Why is Minnesota there?
To protect Canada from Iowa.

Iowa - acronym for "I Oughta Went Around"

My high school history teacher calls Iowa "The Clothespin State"
(hint: smell the air)

Ed Brovet

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Jul 8, 1991, 12:23:45 PM7/8/91

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Ah yes, Iowa, the Land of the Midday Sun.

(it's noon before the fog clears)

Actually, I thought they did it to themselves best when the state legislature
voted down "IOWA A State of Mind" as the license plate saying. While the
educational institutions wanted to extoll their deserved notoriety, the
representatives felt that this saying was degrading to farmers who made up
the bulk of their voters.

Ed Brovet

ps. "I was twenty-three before I left Iowa. It took that long before
I realized I was free to go."
- Jake Johannsen, stand-up comic

Jerry Freter

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Jul 9, 1991, 10:07:20 AM7/9/91

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What I'd always heard about Iowa was...

Iowa, a place where anything can happen....but usually doesn't.

Chris Best

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Jul 11, 1991, 10:04:38 AM7/11/91

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Welcome to Iowa - Gateway to Nebraska

David Abraham

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Jul 11, 1991, 12:47:49 PM7/11/91

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ACTUALLY, it was "Iowa- a place to grow" , for which we substituted
"Iowa- a place to grow old". And you had your choice of venue- Death
Moans, Cedar Rancid, Aimless, you name it.

Scott Cairns

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Jul 23, 1991, 2:43:57 PM7/23/91

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In article <1991Jul3.1...@m.cs.uiuc.edu> mil...@m.cs.uiuc.edu (Darwin Miller) writes:

> Did you hear Minnesota just opened a new zoo?
>
> They put a fence around Iowa.

Q. Why are all the football stadiums in Iowa artificial turf?

A. To keep the cheerleaders from grazing!