I would appreciate any of his stuff that you can
send, as I remember very little of it....
Some examples...
ORGASMS
newlyweds get DoItTilYou'reSore-gasms
Salesman get Door-to-Door-gasms
tennis players get Bjorn Borg-asms
etc....
Danil (who will compile if I receive enough to make it
worth the effort)
When the then-Soviet leader Yuri Andropov died, Tim mocked the seriousness of
the New York Post's headline. It said: "Andropov Dead."
He said it should have been along the similar lines of humor the Post is known
for. He gave numerous examples of what it should have been, like: "How Now
Mos-Cow?", "We told Yuri, 'go to a cliff Andropov!'", among others....
******************************************************************************
* Adam J. Smargon, The University of Florida, Gainesville, Florida 32612 USA *
* I am the L'orax, I speak for the trees... -Dr. Seuss **** (904)846-8804 ****
* I am an environmental case! * Recycle or die. * It's not easy being green. *
* The warming of the atmosphere is called the Greenhouse Effect. Not doing *
* anything about it is called the White House Effect. Living with it is *
* called the Outhouse Effect. -Pat Hazell *** RECY...@maple.circa.ufl.edu ***
******************************************************************************
>******************************************************************************
>* Adam J. Smargon, The University of Florida, Gainesville, Florida 32612 USA *
>* I am the L'orax, I speak for the trees... -Dr. Seuss **** (904)846-8804 ****
>* I am an environmental case! * Recycle or die. * It's not easy being green. *
>* The warming of the atmosphere is called the Greenhouse Effect. Not doing *
>* anything about it is called the White House Effect. Living with it is *
>* called the Outhouse Effect. -Pat Hazell *** RECY...@maple.circa.ufl.edu ***
>******************************************************************************
Finally...my nemesis...
--
_ _ __ <> The "Parking Lot: Earth" Foundation <> __ _ ______
/_)/_)\//_//\/ <> - send me email for details - <> (_ |_/|_| | |_
/_)/ \ // // / <> <> __)| \| | | |__
bca...@calvin.edu <> Use More Plastic - Pave The Planet! <> sk...@wybbs.mi.org
That was a character called Dr. Jack Bitovsky (sp?) during the news with
Brad Hall. Some of those were great. I wish I could remember all the ones
about STD's...
Baseball players with high batting averages get:
GOING -- GOING -- GONORRHEA
Not sure what that itching and burning is, you may have:
IPHYLLIS
Munchkins from Oz got
TWERPIES
just a few I could think of... probably very inaccurate
Maybe check your local video store for SNL classic tapes. They usually have
a list of sketckes on the back.
Todd
A girl who does it to get a fur coat has ulteriorgasms.
I think the sketch started with him giving some background on
orgasms, saying "Man first discovered the orgasm around 5000 B.C.
Women first discovered the orgasm around 1970..."
Tim was best known for his St. Huebert's Chicken ads, and his
contributions to the classic Police Academy series.
-JB
He used to do these vocabulary things, with big flashcards...the only one I
remember had to do with the
BJORN BORGASM...
<==================/ Everything I'm going to tell you tonight is true...
L. Bruce Higgins / except the part about the banana sticking to the wall
LB...@cornell.edu /============================== - Spalding Gray - =====>
The character's name was Dr. Jack Butofsky
I remember:
In cars: Four-On-The-Floor-Gasms
Newlyweds: Let's-Do-It-'Til-We're-Sore-Gasms
Late-night movie fans: Igor-Gasms
American Indian women: Squaw-Gasms
Anyone have the whole list?
- Jon
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jon Pardue "The plural of 'spouse' is 'SPICE'."
par...@rainbow.ecn.purdue.edu - Charlie Gordon
"Old musicians never die, they just go from bar to bar." - Anonymous
>In article <21u9aj...@newsstand.cit.cornell.edu> bruce higgins <lb...@cornell.edu> writes:
>>He used to do these vocabulary things, with big flashcards...the only one I
>>remember had to do with the
>>BJORN BORGASM...
>I remember:
>In cars: Four-On-The-Floor-Gasms
>Newlyweds: Let's-Do-It-'Til-We're-Sore-Gasms
>Late-night movie fans: Igor-Gasms
>American Indian women: Squaw-Gasms
Here's some more...
Lou Grant: Mary Tyler Moore-gasms
Newlyweds: Lets-do-it-till-we're-sore-gasms
After 5 yrs of marriage: I-got-mine-you-get-your-gasms
Women looking for a few
good men: Marine-Corps-gasms
Hockey players: Bobby-Orr-gasms
My recent divorce: Tramputation
Lonely sheperds: Lambputation
Weird lonely sheperds: Ramputation
>>BJORN BORGASM...
>
>I remember:
>
>In cars: Four-On-The-Floor-Gasmsa
>Newlyweds: Let's-Do-It-'Til-We're-Sore-Gasms
>Late-night movie fans: Igor-Gasms
>American Indian women: Squaw-Gasms
>
>Anyone have the whole list?
>
>- Jon
I remember a different list: "Impotents"
When you can't do it after working out: Gympotent
When you can't do it because you're fat: Blimpotent
When you're a 90# weakling: wimpotent
any others out there?
joe
& yet another ;-)
Newlyweds: Let's-do-it-till-we're-sore-gasms
Oh & this one:
Newlyweds: Let's-do-it-till-we're-sore-gasms
Another Brick in the Wall - Pink Floyd
i always thought that they sang
Another prick in the hole during the chorus!
anybody else who heard it the same way?
jairam
i always thought in the chorus they said
..another prick in the hole..
anybody else heard the same way?
Jairam
PS: Everything works better when plugged in.
Thats funny, I always thought it was:
"Another great kid grow old!"
-geoff...
But, on listening to Whitesnake's live version of "Ain't No Love In The Heart
Of The City," I kept onhearing (but I know it wasn't the lyric) "Anal love in
the heart of the city..."
wei hao
Philip Wei Hao Wang e-mail: pw...@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu
Hear the heavy metal thunder | A: "Ask me if I'm a carrot."
Full contact rock 'n' roll | B: "Are you a carrot?"
Play it loud or don't play it at all | A: "No."
I know they can't be saying this, but during The Who's "Who Are You?" it
sounds like the sing:
Who the f*ck are you.....
I've never been able to figure out what else it might be.
--
Tom Schmidlin I think the mistake a lot of us make, is thinking
te...@LEHIGH.EDU the state-appointed psychiatrist is our friend.
"excuse me while I kiss this guy" vs. "the sky" ??? by Hendrix
(I'm ashamed to admit I don't remember the song now)
(Please don't mail the title, I'll remember right after this posts)
"Just brush my teeth before you leave me" vs. "brush my cheek" Angel
of the Morning(?) by just about everybody.
Harvey pointed out that brushing someones teeth didn't make much
sense - but brushing their teeth made less.
A DJ near here one day pointed out a line from Midnight Oil. In
Blue Sky Mine (?), there's choruses of "Who's gonna save me".
She pointed out that on some of them they actually say (she
thinks - I agree) that they sing "Who's gonna shave me".
If you're confused, look at a picture of their lead singer.
"Just the Beer Light to guide us"
is this what he sings? Why should beer shine????
--
____________________________________________________________________________
+++ Chris Burns, Imperial Cancer Research Fund +++
+++ c...@degas.lif.icnet.uk +++
"And by the Seventh Day I was a Seventh Son,
and I scared the Hell out of everyone"
AC/DC - Bad Boy Boogie
____________________________________________________________________________
You are now entering the DISCLAIMER ZONE!! All above is my own opinion!
____________________________________________________________________________
I'm pretty sure that is precisely what they are saying...
One day my friends and I discovered that we all had different
interpretations of a Neil Diamond (I think) song, which turns
out to be called "Forever in Blue Jeans".
I thought it was "A Rebel in Blue Jeans", and everyone else
thought it was "The Reverend Blue Jeans".
And: has anyone else noticed that "When the Going Gets Tough"
sounds like "Well you can go and get stuffed" ?
And what about this oldie that I could never quite come to
terms with:
I'm not talking 'bout Bolivia (?)
And I don't want to change your life,
But there's a warm wind blowing the stars around (??)
And I'd really love to see you tonight.
Any ideas?
Kari
..actually it's...
"I'm not talkin' 'bout movin' in...
And I don't wanna change your life
But there's a warm wind blowin' and the stars are out,
and I'd really love to see you tonight"
cheers..
*************************************************************
Aki Damme "The secret to bowling is to buy LOTS of
The World Bank equipment. That way, if you bowl bad,
Washington D.C. everyone will just think you're having
(202)458-1112 a bad night!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
E-Mail: a...@akidamme-233324.worldbank.org
*************************************************************
"....But still, I like blue balls better than purple! "
-Daniel G. O Brien
*************************************************************
> And what about this oldie that I could never quite come to
> terms with:
> I'm not talking 'bout Bolivia (?)
Try I'm not talking 'bout moving in
> And I don't want to change your life,
> But there's a warm wind blowing the stars around (??)
> And I'd really love to see you tonight.
Regards,
Alec Henderson
Telephone: 408-447-3965 Hewlett-Packard
FAX: 408-447-3660 Information Networks Division
E-mail: al...@cup.hp.com 19420 Homestead Road MS 43L9
HPDesk: Alec Henderson/HP6600/1B Cupertino, CA 95014 (USA)
Ha! This is hilarious! When this thread first started eons ago I
posted this very song because a friend of mine heard it that way
and never realized what they were saying till I sang it one day.
It's by England Dan and John Ford Coley and the name of the song
is "I'd Really Love to See You Tonight."
I'm not talking 'bout movin' in
And I don't wanna change your life.
But there's a warm wind blowin' the stars around
And I'd really love to see you tonight.
Carolyn
I am a cowboy
On a stale horse I ride
(I still think that's what he's saying, and Steel Horse is just the public
relations people's quick excuse.....)
*BB*
--
Hey, like, do what y'wilt, y'know. And, like, don't hurt anyone, okay?
-Cherry PopTart
I know what it really says... but to me I always hear what
I thought I heard the first time...
jPm
"Up to pine caded buys of kitchen signs but knot me in...
City troughened up became a waste of time sitting still..."
jPm
The one I could never come to terms with was McCartney's double redundancy
in "Live and Let Die":
. . . in this ever-changin' world in which we live in
--
------------------------------------------------------------
Gordy Thompson standard disclaimer,
go...@panix.com cute ASCII picture and
profound quote to come later
The one I could never come to terms with was McCartney's double redundancy
in "Live and Let Die":
. . . in this ever-changin' world in which we live in
That's "in this ever-changing world in which we're living" - when you
filter it through McCartney's Liverpudlian accent, it *does* sound
the way you wrote it, though...
jim grey
j...@acd4.acd.com
Here's a double redundancy from John Cougar Mellencamp's "Smalltown":
"I cannot forget from where it is that I come from"
Than again, that's how all of us from Indiana talk. ;-)
A friend of mine told me a story about his french Canadian class mate.
One day his friend, whose english is still choppy, was talking about
when he was at home in Quebec listening to the radio. He heard the song by
Brian Adams, "Cuts like a knife", except the way he heard it was "Cock
sucking wife". He couldn't believe how liberal english radio was to be
playing such music.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
T. Kerr
Hannibal Lecter
Hannibal Lecter
Hannibal Lecter
--
-DINO
"Gli esami sono vicini e tu sei troppo lontana dalla mia stanza"
"Ci vorrebbe un'amica per poterti dimenticare"
E-MAIL: cic...@egr.uri.edu
The lyric :
"We got a gen-u-wine (genuine) Indian guru..."
sounds more like
"We got a chicken fried Indian guru...."
Wookin pa nub in all the wrong places
Wookin pa nub in too many places
(copyright Buh'wheat SNL 198?)
or:
Unce, tice, fee times a mady.
The views expressed within are not necessarily the views of my employer.
They may be the views of my dogs, who have been subliminally programming
me while I sleep.
___________________________________________
Dale Lee |If dogs were outlawed, |
4001 Discovery Drive |Only outlaws would have dogs. |
Suite 250 |_________________________________________|
Boulder, CO 80303 |DEFINITION: P.E.T.A |
303-541-6806 |PEOPLE FOR THE ELIMINATION OF |
Internet da...@advtech.uswest.com |TRAINED ANIMALS |
-------------------------------------------
It's
I'm not talking 'bout moving in
And I don't want to change your life
But there's a warm wind blowing and the stars are out
And I'd really love to see you tonight.
The views expressed within are not necessarily the views of my employer.
Also, a friend of mine's mother for years thought that
C.C.R. was singing "there's a bathroom on the right."
(And I thought I was stupid!)
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bob Solfanelli Lehigh University rj...@lehigh.edu
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do."
-Dylan Thomas
----------------------------------------------------------------------
>And what about this oldie that I could never quite come to
>terms with:
> I'm not talking 'bout Bolivia (?)
> And I don't want to change your life,
> But there's a warm wind blowing the stars around (??)
> And I'd really love to see you tonight.
>Any ideas?
>
>Kari
That's "I'm not talking 'bout movin' in"
otherwise, you've got it right.
jim grey
j...@acd4.acd.com
This reminds me of an old CCR song, which for years I thought said:
I kin still hear the ol' bope tula
Rana tula buckin' bay
I kin still hear the ol' how'n dow pow kid
Chase you're gonna hoodoo there
Chorus:
Born on the Bayou
Born on the BAYYYOOUU
Raman
What about one of Roxette's songs "Dangerous"
"She's got what it take to make mince meat"
It actually is "She's got what it takes to make ends meat"
Jacques
(My friend Peter!)
--
Kate Orman, SFLAaE/BS (Assoc.), SEFEB, RAAS, LAS, ALIA
This .sig is really Odo
: Several years ago, I could've sworn that the song
: "My Sharona" (by The Knack maybe?) was actually
: "Rice-A-Roni" Who knew?
: Also, a friend of mine's mother for years thought that
: C.C.R. was singing "there's a bathroom on the right."
: (And I thought I was stupid!)
I also knew someone who thought CCR was saying "there's a
bathroom on the right."
He also thought the son "Lack of Communication" was
"Jack of with Lubrication"
I knew someone else who thought that Olivia Newton John's
"Physical" was "Let's get biblical."
By the by, in the Eagles "Hotel California", what's "Colitas"?
--
- Jonathan Aiello
ez00...@othello.ucdavis.edu
"I think I am, therefore I am, I think."
>That's "I'm not talking 'bout movin' in"
>otherwise, you've got it right.
Almost. 3d line:
But there's a warm wind blowing, the stars are out
==============================================================================
thad...@mizar.usc.edu |"If I were your wife, I'd poison your tea!"
Tim Haddick | -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
American Language Institute |"If you were my wife, I'd drink it!" -Churchill
==============================================================================
I used to sing along "I'm not talking 'bout the linen"; I think it's
really "I'm not talking 'bout movin' in."
Mary H.
Mary H. is right; it is "I'm not talkin 'bout movin'in", the rest is right.
Matt S.
I don't know if this one has been asked before, but in the song
"Oh, what a night" by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons....somewhere
in the middle of the song, is what sounds like:
"I felt the rush like a rolling ball of thunder......etc"
I can never work out what these few words *actually* are....or could it even
be possible that my hearing is better than what I thought, and I have got it
right?? Hmmm....now that is a possibility that I haven't really considered.
**********
The Kezzle.
(Education Student, and One of the Future Unemployed)
I always heard it as 'I'm not talking 'bout forever'
>
>Matt S.
>
===============================================================================
William Crosmun
cro...@dg-rtp.dg.com
================================================================================
Blame the Japanese
--------------------------------------------------------------
The New York Times, January 29, 1992
By George Dawson
When the phone is out of order, and the roof has sprung a leak,
When the money in your paycheck barely gets you through the week,
When the baby has the colic, and your dog is full of fleas,
Don't complain to Washington - just blame the Japanese.
When the crooks are running rampant, and the judges are too lax,
When letters from the I.R.S. demand some extra tax,
When your son is quitting college, and your daughter's getting D's,
Just do what Iacocca does - and curse the Japanese.
When your taxes keep on rising, while your bank-book starts to shrink,
When pollution clouds your city, so the air begins to stink,
When the temperature is falling, and your pipes are sure to freeze,
Call upon your Congressman to bash the Japanese.
When everyone around you is complaining of the news,
And some condemn the Arabs while others blast the Jews,
Stiffen up your lip, my son, and never bend your knees -
Just be a true American, and blame the Japanese.
================================================================================