THE BEST BUMPER STICKER!!

[Philippe Hajjar]

How 'bout this: "Fight crime, shoot back."

Phil

[Randy Schoenfeldt]

In article <3ikiom$3...@news.nevada.edu> hart...@nevada.edu (KIM HARTLEY) writes:
>Hi all,
>To be honest, I thought my sister's "my kid kicked the honor roll
>student's ass" bumper sticker couldn't be topped--until I came across
>this one:
> "SAVE THE PLANET - KILL YOURSELF."

My favorite is.....
"If you ain't country, you ain't sh*t" --meaning, of course,
if you ARE country, you ARE sh*t.....
randy

[Jans Steyn]

In article <95058.151...@psuvm.psu.edu> Philippe Hajjar <PNH...@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>Date: Mon, 27 Feb 1995 15:13:01 EST
>From: Philippe Hajjar <PNH...@psuvm.psu.edu>
>Subject: Re: THE BEST BUMPER STICKER!!

>How 'bout this: "Fight crime, shoot back."

>Phil

No, how about this: "This car insured by Smith&Wesson"

Jans

[Jay Southard]

Actually, to be perfectly logical, the conclusion would have to be:
"If you ARE sh*t, you ARE country."
--
_______________________________________________________________________
-- Jay If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.

[Eric Schilling]

KIM HARTLEY (hart...@nevada.edu) wrote:
: Hi all,

: To be honest, I thought my sister's "my kid kicked the honor roll
: student's ass" bumper sticker couldn't be topped--until I came across
: this one:
: "SAVE THE PLANET - KILL YOURSELF."

I find the "My kid beat up your honor student." type of bumper
stickers disgusting. In a society that is trying to teach domestic
partners not to hit, push or slap, that sticker sends the opposite
message. Hey, if you can't join 'em, beat em up. What a sick attitude.

[lsm...@uh.edu]

> I find the "My kid beat up your honor student." type of bumper
>stickers disgusting. In a society that is trying to teach domestic
>partners not to hit, push or slap, that sticker sends the opposite
>message. Hey, if you can't join 'em, beat em up. What a sick attitude.
>
>

Oh puh-leeze. Talk about your being PC. Unfuggenbelievable.
Do you know the meaning of the word JOKE?

[Dave Wright]

In article <jsteyn.2...@dos-lan.cs.up.ac.za>,

This reminded me of two that I haven't seen in years.

-If you value your life like I value my car, keepa you handsa off!

-Security system by Smith & Wesson

And, of course, there was the windshield sticker in the James Bond movie (A
newer remake of the Moonraker episode, with the "Disco Volante" instead of
the "Flying Saucer"). James drives his zoot-capri Lamborghini to a
mountain top, and gets into trouble rescuing a girl bent on revenge. The
bad-guy thugs are searching for them, and find the car. The window sticker
says "This car protected by a security system". The bad-guy thug chuckles,
shrugs, and smashes the window with the butt of his machine-gun. The car
explodes in his face. I always wanted to do that...

---
+-- Dave Wright : wri...@snowhite.aes.mb.doe.ca ----------------------- +
| "It's that moment of dawning comprehension I live for" - Hobbes, |
| from _Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat_ by Bill Watterson |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------+

[Harry Davis ii]

Remember the "I found it!" era? My favorite bumpersticker said

I FOUND IT!
NOW MY FINGER STINKS

- DOD #433: Still l00king for an Amazona!
HARRY DAVIS II GKR...@prodigy.com

[Mark Fineman]

In <3jmdb7$3...@hydra.Helsinki.FI> Lorin Jurow <ju...@cs.helsinki.fi>
writes (in part):

>>Here is one my mom saw that combines all possible bumper stickers:
>
>"Nuke a gay whale for Jesus!"
How about:
"I (heart) nuking gay whales for Jesus!"

[Dave]

Well, so why don't you just "SAVE THE PLANET" These are jokes, not advice.

[james...@elelink.com]

Just thought I'd add a couple of my own favorit bumper stickers,

Pizza Girls Deliver, &

Bakers Knead It More.

hope you like em.

James,
james...@elelink.com

[Donald Sucha]

: > No, how about this: "This car insured by Smith&Wesson"
: >
: > Jans

: Here is one my mom saw that combines all possible bumper stickers:

: "Nuke a gay whale for Jesus!"

How about "Not tonight honey, I have a modem." (seen by our LAN
manager).

[David P Goshorn]

Reportedly seen in NYC (as reported on WCBS radio)

" Honk if you love peace and quiet"

Dave from Jersey
"Have clubs. Will travel."
Wire DPG...@erenj.com

[I. M. Bent]

No, it isn't PC. It's even lower.

The original poster is a sensitive, new-age guy, or SNAG. You know
the type, spineless twerps who think that being considerate and sweet
will get them laid more.

Don't get upset with him; feel instead pity. He'll never know what
low regard most people hold for him.

VJ

[GARYOA1]

Remember?

Jesus is coming. And boy is he pissed!

[Greg Goebel]

I. M. Bent (vin...@sco.COM) wrote:

[Stephen Baker]

how about:

Love vegetables, don't eat them!

Stephen P. Baker phone: (508) 856-2625
Lecturer in Biostatistics (508) 856-3131 fax
Department of Academic Computing (413) 253-3923 home
University of Massachusetts Medical School e-mail: sba...@umassmed.ummed.edu
55 Lake Avenue North -.- -.. .---- .--. ..-.
Worcester, MA 01655 http:// (under construction)
GAT/MA(CS)d+/-p-c++lu++e++m--(++)sn+h---fg+w+t+r-y+(*)

[Darrick Brown]

My kid can beat up
your honor role student

[Dave Wright]

In article <3jp2jt$1e...@usenetp1.news.prodigy.com>,

GKR...@prodigy.com (Harry Davis ii) wrote:
>Remember the "I found it!" era? My favorite bumpersticker said
>
>I FOUND IT!
>NOW MY FINGER STINKS

Not strictly a bumper sticker, but in 1975 I made a T-shirt for my
brother's girlfriend. Remember the comic "Tales of the Zombie"? The main
character was a zombie named Simon Garth. The only good drawing I can do.
On the front of her shirt, I drew the back of Simon Garth's head, and on
the back, I drew his (dead) face. On the front, I wrote "I Tried It, I
Tried It!", and on the back I wrote "And It Almost KILLED Me!". Perhaps
the very first "Just say no" T-shirt.

---
+------ Dave Wright | wri...@snowhite.aes.mb.doe.ca -------------------+
| Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with |
| a high powered rifle and scope. - P.J. O'Rourke |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------+

[Galene Thayer]

Here's one I recently saw:

A WOMAN WITHOUT A MAN IS LIKE A FISH WITHOUT A BICYCLE.

Get it?

Galene, another piece of roadkill on the information superhighway, Thayer

[Glen Mcilwaine]

In article <3kd0j4$6...@pandora.sdsu.edu>, tha...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Galene Thayer) says:
>
>Here's one I recently saw:
>
>A WOMAN WITHOUT A MAN IS LIKE A FISH WITHOUT A BICYCLE.
>
>Get it?

It's actually a line from song by the Irish rock group U2.

[Michael Reedich]

Greg Goebel (g...@lvld.hp.com) wrote:
: : The original poster is a sensitive, new-age guy, or SNAG. You know

: : the type, spineless twerps who think that being considerate and sweet
: : will get them laid more.

Hey, how about this for a new bumper sticker . . .

"My little kid can beat up your sensitive, new-age guy"

[Hershel Walters]

I've suggested this ages ago... it really should be a bumper sticker:

I BRAKE for tailgaters

--
"Let the fools have their tartar sauce." Montgomery Burns
<<<<><<<><<<<><><<<<<><<<<<><< Hershel Walters, wal...@smd4d.wes.army.mil
<<<<><<<><<<><<<><<<<><<<<<><< <> / /<> <> / At your service
<<<<><><><<<><<<<<<<<><<<<<><< <|_/_ / / / / Carpe Diem
<<<<><<<><<<><<<><<<<<><><><<< / |/ \__/ /_/\/ Vicksburg,MS USA
<<<<><<<><<<<><><<<<<<<><><<<< Computer Scientist, CEWES-SS-A ext 3011

[hath...@stsci.edu]

> ... bumper sticker . . .

"If Abortions are Outlawed, only Women will have Abortions."

[B Ross-Jones]

>
> >Here's one I recently saw:
>
> >A WOMAN WITHOUT A MAN IS LIKE A FISH WITHOUT A BICYCLE.
>
> >Get it?
>
> It's actually a line from song by the Irish rock group U2.
>

Actually, Bono's words are:-
"a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"

but the idea is the same.

See below for more of his inspirational poetry.


--
Brad
----------------------------------
* Too much is not enough - Bono *
----------------------------------

[Patrick Storck]

Jesus saves...passes to Moses...he shoots....he SCORES!

If you remember the 60's and 70's, you weren't there.

He who dies with the most toys, STILL DIES.

Women...can't live with them, can't shoot them.

and the best:
HOW'S MY DRIVING? call 1-800-679-3851
A wonderful parody of those "eat shit" stickers and, oh,
wait. I see. Um, never mind.
--

PATERIC J. STORCK, inc. ps...@zeus.towson.edu

"You're like a school room in summer: no class!"
--Rudy, The Fat Albert Show

[John C Mumaw]

Actually that line is at least 25 years old. U2 is a consumer as well as
a producer of popular political tripe.

-john c. mumaw
nitpick pro tem
--
John C. Mumaw jmu...@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (614)292-6314
Ohio State University Libraries Columbus, Ohio

[Diane Meves]

Glen Mcilwaine (gl...@Direct.CA) wrote:

: In article <3kd0j4$6...@pandora.sdsu.edu>, tha...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Galene Thayer) says:
: >
: >Here's one I recently saw:
: >
: >A WOMAN WITHOUT A MAN IS LIKE A FISH WITHOUT A BICYCLE.
: >
: >Get it?

: It's actually a line from song by the Irish rock group U2.

It was a line way before U2 used it!
dmeves/cyberjunkie

: >
: >Galene, another piece of roadkill on the information superhighway, Thayer
--
diane

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
Rudyard Kipling

[Matej Osvald]

Saw this one on the back of a horse float over the weekend:

"Horses don't corner like Porshes"

___________________________________________________________________
| | |
| Matej OSVALD | IT User Support, ANU |
| _--_|\ | Canberra, ACT 0200, AUSTRALIA |
| / \ Canberra | E-mail: Mat.O...@anu.edu.au |
| \_.--\_* Oz | Phone: +61 6 249 5678 |
| v | Fax: +61 6 279 8199 |
|__________________________|________________________________________|

[Taro Sumitomo]

The best I can think of is

DRUNK DRIVER ON BOARD

T. Sumitomo

[Russell Edwards]

Matej Osvald <mxo900@huxley> writes:

>Saw this one on the back of a horse float over the weekend:

>"Horses don't corner like Porshes"

"Game fishermen have stiffer rods"

Russell
--
Russell Edwards -- voo...@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au -- IRC: VoodChile
Student of Computer Science and Electrical and Computer Systems Engineering
Last .sig decoding champion: Andrew Bulhak
Decode this: dXVqVsostZ\\otZ^Vot_oSXR]WVotXVoq_RToz_vqVo_]

[acarlan]

This one was just about holding a car together that looked like it had had a
headon:

Impotence is just another way of saying "No Hard Feelings"
------------------------------

Russell Edwards (rte...@mdw059.cc.monash.edu.au) wrote:

[Sheilah Horman]

Diane Meves (dme...@freenet.columbus.oh.us) wrote:

: Glen Mcilwaine (gl...@Direct.CA) wrote:
: : In article <3kd0j4$6...@pandora.sdsu.edu>, tha...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Galene Thayer) says:
: : >
: : >Here's one I recently saw:
: : >
: : >A WOMAN WITHOUT A MAN IS LIKE A FISH WITHOUT A BICYCLE.
: : >
: : >Get it?

: : It's actually a line from song by the Irish rock group U2.

: It was a line way before U2 used it!

I first heard this back in the late 60's or early 70's when the feminism
movement was so big. It probably goes back even further.

objoke: What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?
Seven pounds, including the urn.

(sorry if you've already heard it; I love lawyer jokes...)

--
===============================================================================
Sheilah Horman ,/| _.--''^``-...___.._.,;
sho...@imtn.dsccc.com /, \'. _-' ,--,,,--'''
{ \ `_-'' ' /}
...speaking for myself `;;' ; ; ;
._..--'' ._,,, _..' .;.'
(,_....----''' (,..--''

"Neither my father or mother, grandfather or great grandmother, nor any
other relation that I know of, or care a farthing for, has been in England
these one hundred and fifty years: so that you see I have not one drop of
blood in my veins but what is American." - John Adams, 1785

[Beth Bonham]

Loved this one --

Elvis is dead...but he was a wanker anyway.

Beth.

[Scott Campbell]

I'm not slow, just reloading

Honk, I'm an idiot

[David Scott Mitchell]

Beth Bonham (bon...@osshe.edu) wrote:

I saw this one a few weeks ago:

Mean People Suck

DAVID

[Alex Tomlinson]

Scott Campbell (s...@cybernetics.net) wrote:
: I'm not slow, just reloading

:
: Honk, I'm an idiot

:

Support your right to arm bears.

[Alterego]

These are all great. Here's one that give me a chuckle.

"Visualize whirled peas"

[rcb]

In N. Texas:

"I know it's really hot in hell, but is it humid too?

Russ

[Animal]

I've seen this one somewhere:

"Heaven don't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over!"

And another:

"Speed on, brother, Hell aint even half full!"

--
Travis Armstrong gt6...@prism.gatech.edu
I am a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.

[Nicholas J. Gant]

Seen on the rear fender of a pickup that had just been pulled over by the cops for
queue jumping in rush hour traffic:

"Shit Happens..."

OK - it's old, but it made me feel better as I'd just spent 20 mins. in that
lane waiting my turn...

--

Nick Gant My opinions are my own.

Life is too important to be taken seriously - Wilde

[mlaz...@delphi.com]

I saw this one on the tailgate of a Ford Pinto station wagon:


If you think sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong!

[Mark D. Smiley]

mlaz...@delphi.com wrote:
: I saw this one on the tailgate of a Ford Pinto station wagon:

:
:
: If you think sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong!

:

My kid beat up your honor roll kid!
--
| Mark Smiley | I saw the best minds of my generation des- |
| Illinois State University | troyed by madness, starving, hysterical. I |
| mds...@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu | should be allowed to glue my poster, I should|
| msm...@ilstu.bitnet | be allowed to think. -- They Might Be Giants |

[Arie Den Hollander]

Here's a great bumper sticker:

I love Uranus.

,,,
(o o) Arie den Hollander (519) 942-3516
_o0O(_)O0o_ ahol...@UoGuelph.Ca
|:~~~~~~:o|
|: :o| Computing and Information Science,
|:______: | University of Guelph
-----------
[=======] "Users make typing errors...
/:::::::::::::\ Programmers merely type too fast!"
`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

[mhr...@delphi.com]

"Topless oysters, live waitresses"

[Michael Santos - ACPS/F94]

On Thu, 6 Apr 95 01:33:46 -0500, mhr...@delphi.com wrote:
:
: "Topless oysters, live waitresses"

I saw this one on the back of a Universioty of South Carolina student's car
(for those of you who don't know South Carolina's mascott is a game cock,
I think...)

"No one can lick our cocks."

-----
Michael Santos Email: m3sa...@scs.ryerson.ca or
School of Computer Science m3sa...@acs.ryerson.ca
Ryerson Polytechnic University Home: YOU-WISH (!!)
Toronto, Ontario CANADA (eh?) Pager: 337-8361. ;-).

[HENRY B]

Matej Osvald (mxo900@huxley) wrote:
: Saw this one on the back of a horse float over the weekend:

Seen on the back of a Datsun 1200

I'm just driving this car for a bet..

--

.'-----\\ _
// #``.) __
__--~~--_-\\/ |)
_-~~~~-__ __ _-~~ -_``.|)
|\_.-~ ~-._| \________ _~ Harley- | \\
|/ (} _..._/*/ \ ~\~ Davidson | ``.--~~~~~--__
/___-~~~ /=/~-_ ~~~--------~~--------------/ .-~\\ _________~
* ---/=/ \ \ /{}===_____===_ || / __``. / \ *
/ __/=/_\____\__\ /[]###/=== \###\ || /__/ \\ /
| | [ |*|___________~~~~~==/ ##\_____/## \ \| | |------*------| |
\ ~~___________________/ /_##+++++##* | | / \
* ---\_)________________/___________\_/ / * \ / \ / *
* * \_)____________________/ * ~~~~~ *
------- -------

Brock Henry - Formerly Entropy but now I
can't change my name
c941...@alinga.newcastle.edu.au

[Jonathan Steinberg]

"YOUR KARMA RAN OVER MY DOGMA!"

[Neil Muspratt]

An old favourite:

Drive defensively. Buy a tank.

--
_.-_|\ Neil Muspratt
/ QUT Technical Services Section Tel : + 61 7 864 2146
\_.--,_/ Faculty of Information Technology Fax : + 61 7 864 1959
v GPO Box 2434 Brisbane Qld 4001 AARNet : ne...@fit.qut.edu.au

[Neville Brabet]

xt...@levels.unisa.edu.au (Australian Submarine Corporation Pty Ltd) writes:

>> Seen on the back of a Datsun 1200
>>
>> I'm just driving this car for a bet..
>>

>How 'bout:
>EYESPOSEAPHUCSOUTADAQUESTSHUN
>Seen on a utility in adelaide.

as seen on ute in Melbourne - "no FAT chicks"

Nev..
--
| I'm not arrogant | nbr...@melbourne.dialix.oz.au |
| I'm just a whole lot | njb...@CFS01.cc.monash.edu.au |
| better than you | VH Holden | GS650 Katana |

[David Long]

I saw this on a back of a truck.

All I need is peace and Quiet. Give me a Peace and I'll be Queit.

[Michael L Ramos]

HENRY B (c941...@alinga.newcastle.edu.au) wrote:
: Matej Osvald (mxo900@huxley) wrote:
: : Saw this one on the back of a horse float over the weekend:

: Seen on the back of a Datsun 1200

: I'm just driving this car for a bet..

: --

: .'-----\\ _
: // #``.) __
: __--~~--_-\\/ |)
: _-~~~~-__ __ _-~~ -_``.|)
: |\_.-~ ~-._| \________ _~ Harley- | \\
: |/ (} _..._/*/ \ ~\~ Davidson | ``.--~~~~~--__
: /___-~~~ /=/~-_ ~~~--------~~--------------/ .-~\\ _________~
: * ---/=/ \ \ /{}===_____===_ || / __``. / \ *
: / __/=/_\____\__\ /[]###/=== \###\ || /__/ \\ /
: | | [ |*|___________~~~~~==/ ##\_____/## \ \| | |------*------| |
: \ ~~___________________/ /_##+++++##* | | / \
: * ---\_)________________/___________\_/ / * \ / \ / *
: * * \_)____________________/ * ~~~~~ *
: ------- -------

: Brock Henry - Formerly Entropy but now I
: can't change my name
: c941...@alinga.newcastle.edu.au

Saw this one on a car out in the country:

"So many sheep so little time."

[Australian Submarine Corporation Pty Ltd]

In article <3m08ei$k...@seagoon.newcastle.edu.au>, c941...@alinga.newcastle.edu.au (HENRY B) writes:
> Matej Osvald (mxo900@huxley) wrote:
> : Saw this one on the back of a horse float over the weekend:

>
> : "Horses don't corner like Porshes"
>

> Seen on the back of a Datsun 1200
>
> I'm just driving this car for a bet..
>

How 'bout:

EYESPOSEAPHUCSOUTADAQUESTSHUN

Seen on a utility in adelaide.

--
Al

If it jams, force it.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway - Murphy

[Pat Freeman]

"Want to get laid? Climb up a chicken's butt and wait a while!"

--pat

[SkyMan27]

You are all wrong. The best ever is this:

"My kid beats up honor students"

[Simon D. Roffe]

SkyMan27 (skym...@aol.com) wrote:
: You are all wrong. The best ever is this:

: "My kid beats up honor students"

I collect funny bumper stickers. I have the following:

It's been so long since I've had sex, I can't remember who gets tied up.

What has 40 teeth and holds back a gigantic monster? MY ZIPPER!

I favor the two-party system - party on Friday and party on Saturday.

When I die, bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass.

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch...

I know what my problem is. What's yours?

As a matter of fact, I DO own this road.

Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

Simon

[Scott Christopher Baeder]

How 'bout:

If ya don't like my driving, get off of the sidewalk!

[Scott Christopher Baeder]

Man with no arms and no legs...

Under a car?

Jack

In a hole?

Phil

--

[Gerard Giamberdine]

Here's one I saw the other day.....

Please be patient, I'm going through mental pause.

[Elson Lim]

"So what if I'm slow, I'm still ahead of you."

--
_
___| |___ ___ _ _
/ -_) (_-</ _ \ ' \
\___|_/__/\___/_||_|
El...@UH.Edu

[Ken]

pf...@randr.com ( Pat Freeman ) wrote:

>"Want to get laid? Climb up a chicken's butt and wait a while!"

>--pat

How about "Because I'm the mommy, that's why." And "Don't worry
Hillery, I'm one too."

[JPREID]

This is often seen on pickups in west Texas, usually with a gun rack in
the rear window:

You don't like the way I drive, dial 1-800-Eat-Sh*t

[Joel David Rollins]

In article <3mnqlv$2l...@holly.ACNS.ColoState.EDU>, ger...@holly.ACNS.ColoState.EDU (Gerard Giamberdine) says:
>
>Here's one I saw the other day.....
>
> Please be patient, I'm going through mental pause.

My favorite:

eschew obsfucation.

[Donald Eric Bergstrom]

My own creation

"I don't have and adtitude problem, Everyone else has an adtittude problem."

--
"I must be loosing it
'cuz my mind plays tricks on me
It looks so easy
But you know looks sometimes deceive.." -Go-Go's-

[Tina Tindall]

I saw this one yesterday:

Illiterate? Write for help!

'rissa

[john r. fleming]

Cute one I've seen around town in reaction to all those "My kid is an
honor student at ***** stickers:"

"My kid beat up your honor student"

-J

--
===========================================================================
John Fleming jrfl...@firefly.prairienet.org

[Bart E. Goddard]

Following the car bombing in Oklahoma:

THE CRUSADERS WERE RIGHT!

--
Bart Goddard god...@nextwork.rose-hulman.edu
Red Wigglers -- The Cadillac of Worms

[Jack Frillman]

In article <3mu814$b...@newshound.uidaho.edu>, ti...@uidaho.edu (Tina Tindall) writes:
|> I saw this one yesterday:
|>
|> Illiterate? Write for help!

How about this one:

Warning! I speed up to run down little animals.

--

\ /
\ /
---------------------+ ( ) +------------------
Jack Frillman | ^ " Carrots are devine you | LEXIS-NEXIS
ja...@lexis-nexis.com | *\/|\ get a dozen for a dime, | P.O. Box 933
(513) 865-6800 | |/ it's magic! | Dayton, Oh 45401
EXT. 4812 | | -Bugs Bunny |
---------------------+ / \ +------------------
| /
-- --

[c2_cu...@delphi.com]

Here's a great one;

"kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the entire chicken."


Petr.

[Australian Submarine Corporation Pty Ltd]

In article <3n6grs$7...@meaddata.meaddata.com>, ja...@meaddata.com (Jack Frillman) writes:
> In article <3mu814$b...@newshound.uidaho.edu>, ti...@uidaho.edu (Tina Tindall) writes:
> |> I saw this one yesterday:
> |>
> |> Illiterate? Write for help!
>

> Warning! I speed up to run down little animals.
>

And another:

Get in, sit down, shut-up and HANG ON.

--
Al

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn. - Murphy

[Larry Strickland]

How about:

Pass quietly driver sleeping!

Cheers Larry

[Daniel Farfan]

In article <3mq2gg$b...@ringer.cs.utsa.edu> dber...@ringer.cs.utsa.edu (Donald Eric Bergstrom) writes:
>From: dber...@ringer.cs.utsa.edu (Donald Eric Bergstrom)
>Subject: Re: THE BEST BUMPER STICKER!!
>Date: 16 Apr 1995 03:21:52 GMT

>My own creation

>"I don't have and adtitude problem, Everyone else has an adtittude problem."

:-) I like that. Good idea.

How about though,
"I don't have an attitude problem, everyone else does."

Flows a little better, don't ya think?

Dan

----------------------------------------------------
Daniel Farfan far...@primenet.com
Author of _Life's Great Questions_
Visit my home page... http://www.primenet.com/~farfan
and enter the weekly drawing for a free book.

[Donald Eric Bergstrom]

: >My own creation

: >"I don't have and adtitude problem, Everyone else has an adtittude problem."

: :-) I like that. Good idea.

: How about though,
: "I don't have an attitude problem, everyone else does."

: Flows a little better, don't ya think?

It also depends on the inflection in your voice.

Another favorite of mine is....

Support your local wildlife. Throw a party!

[Steven P. Gustafson]

How 'bout this one....


"I miss my ex-wife, but my aim is improving"

alternatively

"I miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving"

[TROY DUNTON]

yet another :

No FAT chicks.

--
Troy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Go in hard, early and often". - H.G Nelson
"mmmmmmmmm beeeeeeeeerr" - Homer Simpson

HAWTHORN IS MY LIFE IS HAWTHORN tdu...@enterprise.powerup.com.au

Queensland - home of the Sheffield Shield.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Mark Osborne]

In article <3nr0ss$e...@ringer.cs.utsa.edu> dber...@ringer.cs.utsa.edu (Donald Eric Bergstrom) writes:
>From: dber...@ringer.cs.utsa.edu (Donald Eric Bergstrom)

>Subject: Re: Attitude BUMPER STICKER!!
>Date: 28 Apr 1995 15:16:44 GMT

>: >My own creation

>: >"I don't have and adtitude problem, Everyone else has an adtittude problem."

>: :-) I like that. Good idea.

>: How about though,
>: "I don't have an attitude problem, everyone else does."

>: Flows a little better, don't ya think?

>It also depends on the inflection in your voice.

>Another favorite of mine is....

>Support your local wildlife. Throw a party!

Conserve wildlife - pickle a squirrel

[Don Leynes]

And then there's

If you don't like my driving
stay off the sidewalk

[David C. Wright]

Custom jobs, from the high arctic. Not bumper stickers, but they could be,
if there were any bumpers. Normally found on T-shirts or beer mugs. A
little background: Coral Harbour is on Southampton Island, in the
top-center of Hudson Bay, near the south-center of the island. It's a
couple of hundred miles north-east of Churchill, a small community on the
shores of Hudson Bay, in Manitoba, Canada, and just south of the border of
the NorthWest Territory. Coral Harbour is just south of the 60th Parallel.
Churchill is the "Polar Bear Capital of the World", being right on the
migration route of these creatures, and is one of the few places where
elementary school children are taught to tuck into a ball in the event of
an attack.

"Churchill might be the asshole of the world, but Coral Harbour is 500
miles up it."

"In Churchill, our mosquitoes weight 2 tons."

+----- Dave Wright | wri...@triumph.aes.mb.doe.ca ---------------------+
| At a time like this, scorching irony, not convincing argument, is |
| needed. Oh, had I the ability and could I reach the nation's ear, I |
| would today pour out a fiery stream of biting ridicule, blasting |
| reproach, withering sarcasm, and stern rebuke. For it is not light |
| that is needed, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. |
| Frederick Douglas |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------+

[Andy Niedzwiecke]

The best one I ever saw was:

"I may not agree with your bumper sticker,
but I would defend to the death your right
stick it"

[Jason Steinhorn x4829]

In article <3o1b3r$1...@pipe6.nyc.pipeline.com>,

My all-time favorite:

"Jesus saves...but Gretsky recovers...shoots...and SCORES!!!"

Jason
ja...@srg.af.mil

[Charles Cranford]

In rec.humor eu...@waikato.ac.nz said:


>
>> If you don't like my driving
>> stay off the sidewalk
>>
>>

>What about:
>
>CAUTION!
>I swerve and hit people at random.

Or, I speed up to hit slow moving animals...8-0

[Joseph Howard]

an...@master.cna.tek.com (Andy Niedzwiecke) writes:

how about..... "I smoked pot for a month last night"

[Ike]

mbo...@MFS01.cc.monash.edu.au (Mark Osborne) writes:
>
>Conserve wildlife - pickle a squirrel

Shouldn't that be PRESERVE wildlife?

Ike
______________________________________
Life's a Bitch - Deal with it.

[eu...@waikato.ac.nz]

[Laurianna Smith]

and the social scientist said "one is prime, two is prime, three is
prime, four is prime...
-Laur

[Heich-Man]

I like:

JESUS SAVES!
...but Gretsky scores on the rebound!

[John Casten]

EAT THE POOR

I BOUGHT THIS CAR WITH YOUR MONEY

GAY IS BORING

[SHAW ROSEMARY JANE]

Here's some of the popular ones in Boulder:

Visualize using your turn signal

Fundamentalism stops a thinking brain

Leif

[Patrick Lee]

In <howard.799605977@phyast> how...@phyast.nhn.uoknor.edu (Joseph
Howard) writes:

How 'bout: "Nuke a gay whale for Jesus"

[Mark Whitmer]

Charles Cranford (ccra...@nyc.pipeline.com) wrote:
: Or, I speed up to hit slow moving animals...8-0

I brake for animals; I eat them and wear their skins.

See ya'
Mark Whitmer
whit...@netcom.com

[Stimpy]

Okay, how about:

"It's a child, not a toaster"

--
_______________________________________________________________________
= Surf the Internet! =
= It's the next best thing to not actually being there. =

[Kelly Fitzpatrick]

Three favorites... I'm new here, so if they've appeared before,
*Excu-u-u-u-s-e Me!*

Why Be Normal?

Eschew Obfuscation

Jesus Saves, But Moses Invests

[Lelanthran Manickum]

Kelly Fitzpatrick (kmf...@kuentos.guam.net) wrote:
: Three favorites... I'm new here, so if they've appeared before,
: *Excu-u-u-u-s-e Me!*

: Why Be Normal?

: Eschew Obfuscation

my lawyer can beat up your lawyer

deadbeat

[Tereasa Sotzing]

How about:

I may drive SLOW, but I'm still in front of you.

GUN on board.

If you can read this. You're about to kiss your windshield.

--

"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features."
--(Unknown, if you do know drop me an e-mail msg)

[Gary A. Bushey]

In article <3ol0ot$8...@unpcs1.cs.unp.ac.za>, lman...@mars.cs.unp.ac.za
(Lelanthran Manickum) wrote:

>
> : Jesus Saves, But Moses Invests
>

The one that I have always liked is:
Jesus Saves, Gretzky recoversm, he shoots, he scores!

--
Gary A. Bushey | The nice thing about being a
E-mail: Gary.A...@Dartmouth.Edu | pessimist is that everything
| is a pleasant surprise.

[Alex Tomlinson]

.dhmc.dartmouth.edu>:
Organization: Philadelphia's Complete Internet Provider
Distribution:

Some that may have been posted previously:

Visualize whirrled peas

Stop the Violins

Support your right to arm bears

Save the males

Nuke the whales

[Andrew Rogers]

In article <whitmermD...@netcom.com> whit...@netcom.com (Mark Whitmer) writes:
>Charles Cranford (ccra...@nyc.pipeline.com) wrote:
>: Or, I speed up to hit slow moving animals...8-0
>
>I brake for animals; I eat them and wear their skins.

How about

"Noah saved the spotted owl"

[ross bybee]

my favorite is one that the fast food industry put on cars in the '80s

I LOVE TO EAT OUT!!

trader

[HDD]

kmf...@kuentos.guam.net (Kelly Fitzpatrick) wrote:
> Three favorites... I'm new here, so if they've appeared before,
> *Excu-u-u-u-s-e Me!*
>
> Why Be Normal?
>
> Eschew Obfuscation
>

> Jesus Saves, But Moses Invests

My fave is:

Jesus saves souls....and redeems them for valuable cash prizes.

Cheers,
JJFlash

[Steve Levine]

> kmf...@kuentos.guam.net (Kelly Fitzpatrick) wrote:
> > *Excu-u-u-u-s-e Me!*
> > Why Be Normal?
> > Eschew Obfuscation
> > Jesus Saves, But Moses Invests
>
> My fave is:
> Jesus saves souls....and redeems them for valuable cash prizes.

A few other good ones are:

This car explodes on impact.
Nuke a gay whale for Jesus.

The 2nd one is good because it irritates so many different people.

Steve