Google Groups no longer supports new Usenet posts or subscriptions. Historical content remains viewable.
Dismiss

THE BEST BUMPER STICKER!!

157 views
Skip to first unread message

Philippe Hajjar

unread,
Feb 27, 1995, 3:13:01 PM2/27/95
to
How 'bout this: "Fight crime, shoot back."

Phil

Randy Schoenfeldt

unread,
Feb 28, 1995, 3:37:11 PM2/28/95
to
In article <3ikiom$3...@news.nevada.edu> hart...@nevada.edu (KIM HARTLEY) writes:
>Hi all,
>To be honest, I thought my sister's "my kid kicked the honor roll
>student's ass" bumper sticker couldn't be topped--until I came across
>this one:
> "SAVE THE PLANET - KILL YOURSELF."

My favorite is.....
"If you ain't country, you ain't sh*t" --meaning, of course,
if you ARE country, you ARE sh*t.....
randy


Jans Steyn

unread,
Mar 3, 1995, 8:04:52 AM3/3/95
to
In article <95058.151...@psuvm.psu.edu> Philippe Hajjar <PNH...@psuvm.psu.edu> writes:
>Date: Mon, 27 Feb 1995 15:13:01 EST
>From: Philippe Hajjar <PNH...@psuvm.psu.edu>
>Subject: Re: THE BEST BUMPER STICKER!!

>How 'bout this: "Fight crime, shoot back."

>Phil

No, how about this: "This car insured by Smith&Wesson"

Jans

Jay Southard

unread,
Mar 2, 1995, 5:23:51 PM3/2/95
to
Actually, to be perfectly logical, the conclusion would have to be:
"If you ARE sh*t, you ARE country."
--
_______________________________________________________________________
-- Jay If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.

Eric Schilling

unread,
Mar 8, 1995, 1:06:24 PM3/8/95
to
KIM HARTLEY (hart...@nevada.edu) wrote:
: Hi all,

: To be honest, I thought my sister's "my kid kicked the honor roll
: student's ass" bumper sticker couldn't be topped--until I came across
: this one:
: "SAVE THE PLANET - KILL YOURSELF."

I find the "My kid beat up your honor student." type of bumper
stickers disgusting. In a society that is trying to teach domestic
partners not to hit, push or slap, that sticker sends the opposite
message. Hey, if you can't join 'em, beat em up. What a sick attitude.


lsm...@uh.edu

unread,
Mar 8, 1995, 3:07:53 PM3/8/95
to
> I find the "My kid beat up your honor student." type of bumper
>stickers disgusting. In a society that is trying to teach domestic
>partners not to hit, push or slap, that sticker sends the opposite
>message. Hey, if you can't join 'em, beat em up. What a sick attitude.
>
>
Oh puh-leeze. Talk about your being PC. Unfuggenbelievable.
Do you know the meaning of the word JOKE?

Dave Wright

unread,
Mar 8, 1995, 10:16:43 PM3/8/95
to
In article <jsteyn.2...@dos-lan.cs.up.ac.za>,

This reminded me of two that I haven't seen in years.

-If you value your life like I value my car, keepa you handsa off!

-Security system by Smith & Wesson

And, of course, there was the windshield sticker in the James Bond movie (A
newer remake of the Moonraker episode, with the "Disco Volante" instead of
the "Flying Saucer"). James drives his zoot-capri Lamborghini to a
mountain top, and gets into trouble rescuing a girl bent on revenge. The
bad-guy thugs are searching for them, and find the car. The window sticker
says "This car protected by a security system". The bad-guy thug chuckles,
shrugs, and smashes the window with the butt of his machine-gun. The car
explodes in his face. I always wanted to do that...

---
+-- Dave Wright : wri...@snowhite.aes.mb.doe.ca ----------------------- +
| "It's that moment of dawning comprehension I live for" - Hobbes, |
| from _Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat_ by Bill Watterson |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Harry Davis ii

unread,
Mar 10, 1995, 3:28:45 AM3/10/95
to
Remember the "I found it!" era? My favorite bumpersticker said

I FOUND IT!
NOW MY FINGER STINKS


- DOD #433: Still l00king for an Amazona!
HARRY DAVIS II GKR...@prodigy.com


Mark Fineman

unread,
Mar 11, 1995, 6:05:41 AM3/11/95
to
In <3jmdb7$3...@hydra.Helsinki.FI> Lorin Jurow <ju...@cs.helsinki.fi>
writes (in part):

>>Here is one my mom saw that combines all possible bumper stickers:
>
>"Nuke a gay whale for Jesus!"
How about:
"I (heart) nuking gay whales for Jesus!"

Dave

unread,
Mar 11, 1995, 4:59:23 PM3/11/95
to
Well, so why don't you just "SAVE THE PLANET" These are jokes, not advice.

james...@elelink.com

unread,
Mar 11, 1995, 7:28:14 PM3/11/95
to

Just thought I'd add a couple of my own favorit bumper stickers,

Pizza Girls Deliver, &

Bakers Knead It More.

hope you like em.

James,
james...@elelink.com

Donald Sucha

unread,
Mar 13, 1995, 12:58:54 AM3/13/95
to

: > No, how about this: "This car insured by Smith&Wesson"
: >
: > Jans

: Here is one my mom saw that combines all possible bumper stickers:

: "Nuke a gay whale for Jesus!"

How about "Not tonight honey, I have a modem." (seen by our LAN
manager).


David P Goshorn

unread,
Mar 13, 1995, 8:06:42 AM3/13/95
to
Reportedly seen in NYC (as reported on WCBS radio)

" Honk if you love peace and quiet"

Dave from Jersey
"Have clubs. Will travel."
Wire DPG...@erenj.com

I. M. Bent

unread,
Mar 13, 1995, 5:31:06 PM3/13/95
to

No, it isn't PC. It's even lower.

The original poster is a sensitive, new-age guy, or SNAG. You know
the type, spineless twerps who think that being considerate and sweet
will get them laid more.

Don't get upset with him; feel instead pity. He'll never know what
low regard most people hold for him.

VJ


GARYOA1

unread,
Mar 13, 1995, 9:22:13 PM3/13/95
to
Remember?


Jesus is coming. And boy is he pissed!

Greg Goebel

unread,
Mar 16, 1995, 10:31:51 AM3/16/95
to
I. M. Bent (vin...@sco.COM) wrote:

Stephen Baker

unread,
Mar 16, 1995, 12:50:30 PM3/16/95
to
how about:

Love vegetables, don't eat them!

Stephen P. Baker phone: (508) 856-2625
Lecturer in Biostatistics (508) 856-3131 fax
Department of Academic Computing (413) 253-3923 home
University of Massachusetts Medical School e-mail: sba...@umassmed.ummed.edu
55 Lake Avenue North -.- -.. .---- .--. ..-.
Worcester, MA 01655 http:// (under construction)
GAT/MA(CS)d+/-p-c++lu++e++m--(++)sn+h---fg+w+t+r-y+(*)

Darrick Brown

unread,
Mar 16, 1995, 1:03:16 PM3/16/95
to
My kid can beat up
your honor role student

Dave Wright

unread,
Mar 17, 1995, 12:38:57 AM3/17/95
to
In article <3jp2jt$1e...@usenetp1.news.prodigy.com>,

GKR...@prodigy.com (Harry Davis ii) wrote:
>Remember the "I found it!" era? My favorite bumpersticker said
>
>I FOUND IT!
>NOW MY FINGER STINKS

Not strictly a bumper sticker, but in 1975 I made a T-shirt for my
brother's girlfriend. Remember the comic "Tales of the Zombie"? The main
character was a zombie named Simon Garth. The only good drawing I can do.
On the front of her shirt, I drew the back of Simon Garth's head, and on
the back, I drew his (dead) face. On the front, I wrote "I Tried It, I
Tried It!", and on the back I wrote "And It Almost KILLED Me!". Perhaps
the very first "Just say no" T-shirt.

---
+------ Dave Wright | wri...@snowhite.aes.mb.doe.ca -------------------+
| Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with |
| a high powered rifle and scope. - P.J. O'Rourke |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------+

Galene Thayer

unread,
Mar 17, 1995, 4:56:50 PM3/17/95
to
Here's one I recently saw:

A WOMAN WITHOUT A MAN IS LIKE A FISH WITHOUT A BICYCLE.

Get it?

Galene, another piece of roadkill on the information superhighway, Thayer

Glen Mcilwaine

unread,
Mar 19, 1995, 4:53:16 PM3/19/95
to
In article <3kd0j4$6...@pandora.sdsu.edu>, tha...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Galene Thayer) says:
>
>Here's one I recently saw:
>
>A WOMAN WITHOUT A MAN IS LIKE A FISH WITHOUT A BICYCLE.
>
>Get it?

It's actually a line from song by the Irish rock group U2.

Michael Reedich

unread,
Mar 19, 1995, 8:11:19 PM3/19/95
to
Greg Goebel (g...@lvld.hp.com) wrote:
: : The original poster is a sensitive, new-age guy, or SNAG. You know

: : the type, spineless twerps who think that being considerate and sweet
: : will get them laid more.

Hey, how about this for a new bumper sticker . . .

"My little kid can beat up your sensitive, new-age guy"

Hershel Walters

unread,
Mar 20, 1995, 11:36:00 AM3/20/95
to
I've suggested this ages ago... it really should be a bumper sticker:

I BRAKE for tailgaters

--
"Let the fools have their tartar sauce." Montgomery Burns
<<<<><<<><<<<><><<<<<><<<<<><< Hershel Walters, wal...@smd4d.wes.army.mil
<<<<><<<><<<><<<><<<<><<<<<><< <> / /<> <> / At your service
<<<<><><><<<><<<<<<<<><<<<<><< <|_/_ / / / / Carpe Diem
<<<<><<<><<<><<<><<<<<><><><<< / |/ \__/ /_/\/ Vicksburg,MS USA
<<<<><<<><<<<><><<<<<<<><><<<< Computer Scientist, CEWES-SS-A ext 3011

hath...@stsci.edu

unread,
Mar 20, 1995, 1:54:03 PM3/20/95
to
> ... bumper sticker . . .

"If Abortions are Outlawed, only Women will have Abortions."

B Ross-Jones

unread,
Mar 23, 1995, 8:58:44 AM3/23/95
to

>
> >Here's one I recently saw:
>
> >A WOMAN WITHOUT A MAN IS LIKE A FISH WITHOUT A BICYCLE.
>
> >Get it?
>
> It's actually a line from song by the Irish rock group U2.
>
Actually, Bono's words are:-
"a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"

but the idea is the same.

See below for more of his inspirational poetry.


--
Brad
----------------------------------
* Too much is not enough - Bono *
----------------------------------


Patrick Storck

unread,
Mar 23, 1995, 9:09:09 AM3/23/95
to

Jesus saves...passes to Moses...he shoots....he SCORES!

If you remember the 60's and 70's, you weren't there.

He who dies with the most toys, STILL DIES.

Women...can't live with them, can't shoot them.

and the best:
HOW'S MY DRIVING? call 1-800-679-3851
A wonderful parody of those "eat shit" stickers and, oh,
wait. I see. Um, never mind.
--

PATERIC J. STORCK, inc. ps...@zeus.towson.edu

"You're like a school room in summer: no class!"
--Rudy, The Fat Albert Show

John C Mumaw

unread,
Mar 23, 1995, 10:46:04 AM3/23/95
to
Actually that line is at least 25 years old. U2 is a consumer as well as
a producer of popular political tripe.

-john c. mumaw
nitpick pro tem
--
John C. Mumaw jmu...@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (614)292-6314
Ohio State University Libraries Columbus, Ohio

Diane Meves

unread,
Mar 24, 1995, 6:44:38 PM3/24/95
to
Glen Mcilwaine (gl...@Direct.CA) wrote:

: In article <3kd0j4$6...@pandora.sdsu.edu>, tha...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Galene Thayer) says:
: >
: >Here's one I recently saw:
: >
: >A WOMAN WITHOUT A MAN IS LIKE A FISH WITHOUT A BICYCLE.
: >
: >Get it?

: It's actually a line from song by the Irish rock group U2.


It was a line way before U2 used it!
dmeves/cyberjunkie


: >
: >Galene, another piece of roadkill on the information superhighway, Thayer
--
diane

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
Rudyard Kipling

Matej Osvald

unread,
Mar 27, 1995, 1:35:30 AM3/27/95
to
Saw this one on the back of a horse float over the weekend:

"Horses don't corner like Porshes"

___________________________________________________________________
| | |
| Matej OSVALD | IT User Support, ANU |
| _--_|\ | Canberra, ACT 0200, AUSTRALIA |
| / \ Canberra | E-mail: Mat.O...@anu.edu.au |
| \_.--\_* Oz | Phone: +61 6 249 5678 |
| v | Fax: +61 6 279 8199 |
|__________________________|________________________________________|

Taro Sumitomo

unread,
Mar 26, 1995, 11:23:41 PM3/26/95
to
The best I can think of is

DRUNK DRIVER ON BOARD

T. Sumitomo

Russell Edwards

unread,
Mar 27, 1995, 7:27:37 AM3/27/95
to
Matej Osvald <mxo900@huxley> writes:

>Saw this one on the back of a horse float over the weekend:

>"Horses don't corner like Porshes"

"Game fishermen have stiffer rods"

Russell
--
Russell Edwards -- voo...@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au -- IRC: VoodChile
Student of Computer Science and Electrical and Computer Systems Engineering
Last .sig decoding champion: Andrew Bulhak
Decode this: dXVqVsostZ\\otZ^Vot_oSXR]WVotXVoq_RToz_vqVo_]

acarlan

unread,
Mar 27, 1995, 8:53:40 AM3/27/95
to
This one was just about holding a car together that looked like it had had a
headon:

Impotence is just another way of saying "No Hard Feelings"
------------------------------

Russell Edwards (rte...@mdw059.cc.monash.edu.au) wrote:

Sheilah Horman

unread,
Mar 28, 1995, 12:39:13 PM3/28/95
to
Diane Meves (dme...@freenet.columbus.oh.us) wrote:

: Glen Mcilwaine (gl...@Direct.CA) wrote:
: : In article <3kd0j4$6...@pandora.sdsu.edu>, tha...@ucssun1.sdsu.edu (Galene Thayer) says:
: : >
: : >Here's one I recently saw:
: : >
: : >A WOMAN WITHOUT A MAN IS LIKE A FISH WITHOUT A BICYCLE.
: : >
: : >Get it?

: : It's actually a line from song by the Irish rock group U2.


: It was a line way before U2 used it!

I first heard this back in the late 60's or early 70's when the feminism
movement was so big. It probably goes back even further.

objoke: What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?
Seven pounds, including the urn.

(sorry if you've already heard it; I love lawyer jokes...)

--
===============================================================================
Sheilah Horman ,/| _.--''^``-...___.._.,;
sho...@imtn.dsccc.com /, \'. _-' ,--,,,--'''
{ \ `_-'' ' /}
...speaking for myself `;;' ; ; ;
._..--'' ._,,, _..' .;.'
(,_....----''' (,..--''

"Neither my father or mother, grandfather or great grandmother, nor any
other relation that I know of, or care a farthing for, has been in England
these one hundred and fifty years: so that you see I have not one drop of
blood in my veins but what is American." - John Adams, 1785

Beth Bonham

unread,
Mar 29, 1995, 3:00:00 AM3/29/95
to
Loved this one --

Elvis is dead...but he was a wanker anyway.

Beth.


Scott Campbell

unread,
Mar 29, 1995, 3:00:00 AM3/29/95
to mxo900@huxley
I'm not slow, just reloading

Honk, I'm an idiot

David Scott Mitchell

unread,
Mar 31, 1995, 3:00:00 AM3/31/95
to
Beth Bonham (bon...@osshe.edu) wrote:


I saw this one a few weeks ago:

Mean People Suck

DAVID


Alex Tomlinson

unread,
Apr 3, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/3/95
to
Scott Campbell (s...@cybernetics.net) wrote:
: I'm not slow, just reloading
:
: Honk, I'm an idiot
:


Support your right to arm bears.

Alterego

unread,
Apr 3, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/3/95
to
These are all great. Here's one that give me a chuckle.

"Visualize whirled peas"

rcb

unread,
Apr 4, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/4/95
to
In N. Texas:

"I know it's really hot in hell, but is it humid too?


Russ

Animal

unread,
Apr 4, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/4/95
to

I've seen this one somewhere:

"Heaven don't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over!"

And another:

"Speed on, brother, Hell aint even half full!"


--
Travis Armstrong gt6...@prism.gatech.edu
I am a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.

Nicholas J. Gant

unread,
Apr 5, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/5/95
to
Seen on the rear fender of a pickup that had just been pulled over by the cops for
queue jumping in rush hour traffic:

"Shit Happens..."

OK - it's old, but it made me feel better as I'd just spent 20 mins. in that
lane waiting my turn...

--

Nick Gant My opinions are my own.

Life is too important to be taken seriously - Wilde

mlaz...@delphi.com

unread,
Apr 5, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/5/95
to
I saw this one on the tailgate of a Ford Pinto station wagon:


If you think sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong!

Mark D. Smiley

unread,
Apr 5, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/5/95
to
mlaz...@delphi.com wrote:
: I saw this one on the tailgate of a Ford Pinto station wagon:

:
:
: If you think sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong!
:

My kid beat up your honor roll kid!
--
| Mark Smiley | I saw the best minds of my generation des- |
| Illinois State University | troyed by madness, starving, hysterical. I |
| mds...@rs6000.cmp.ilstu.edu | should be allowed to glue my poster, I should|
| msm...@ilstu.bitnet | be allowed to think. -- They Might Be Giants |

Arie Den Hollander

unread,
Apr 5, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/5/95
to
Here's a great bumper sticker:

I love Uranus.

,,,
(o o) Arie den Hollander (519) 942-3516
_o0O(_)O0o_ ahol...@UoGuelph.Ca
|:~~~~~~:o|
|: :o| Computing and Information Science,
|:______: | University of Guelph
-----------
[=======] "Users make typing errors...
/:::::::::::::\ Programmers merely type too fast!"
`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""


mhr...@delphi.com

unread,
Apr 6, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/6/95
to

"Topless oysters, live waitresses"

Michael Santos - ACPS/F94

unread,
Apr 6, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/6/95
to
On Thu, 6 Apr 95 01:33:46 -0500, mhr...@delphi.com wrote:
:
: "Topless oysters, live waitresses"

I saw this one on the back of a Universioty of South Carolina student's car
(for those of you who don't know South Carolina's mascott is a game cock,
I think...)

"No one can lick our cocks."

-----
Michael Santos Email: m3sa...@scs.ryerson.ca or
School of Computer Science m3sa...@acs.ryerson.ca
Ryerson Polytechnic University Home: YOU-WISH (!!)
Toronto, Ontario CANADA (eh?) Pager: 337-8361. ;-).

HENRY B

unread,
Apr 6, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/6/95
to
Matej Osvald (mxo900@huxley) wrote:
: Saw this one on the back of a horse float over the weekend:

Seen on the back of a Datsun 1200

I'm just driving this car for a bet..

--

.'-----\\ _
// #``.) __
__--~~--_-\\/ |)
_-~~~~-__ __ _-~~ -_``.|)
|\_.-~ ~-._| \________ _~ Harley- | \\
|/ (} _..._/*/ \ ~\~ Davidson | ``.--~~~~~--__
/___-~~~ /=/~-_ ~~~--------~~--------------/ .-~\\ _________~
* ---/=/ \ \ /{}===_____===_ || / __``. / \ *
/ __/=/_\____\__\ /[]###/=== \###\ || /__/ \\ /
| | [ |*|___________~~~~~==/ ##\_____/## \ \| | |------*------| |
\ ~~___________________/ /_##+++++##* | | / \
* ---\_)________________/___________\_/ / * \ / \ / *
* * \_)____________________/ * ~~~~~ *
------- -------

Brock Henry - Formerly Entropy but now I
can't change my name
c941...@alinga.newcastle.edu.au


Jonathan Steinberg

unread,
Apr 6, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/6/95
to
"YOUR KARMA RAN OVER MY DOGMA!"

Neil Muspratt

unread,
Apr 6, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/6/95
to
An old favourite:

Drive defensively. Buy a tank.

--
_.-_|\ Neil Muspratt
/ QUT Technical Services Section Tel : + 61 7 864 2146
\_.--,_/ Faculty of Information Technology Fax : + 61 7 864 1959
v GPO Box 2434 Brisbane Qld 4001 AARNet : ne...@fit.qut.edu.au

Neville Brabet

unread,
Apr 7, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/7/95
to
xt...@levels.unisa.edu.au (Australian Submarine Corporation Pty Ltd) writes:

>> Seen on the back of a Datsun 1200
>>
>> I'm just driving this car for a bet..
>>

>How 'bout:
>EYESPOSEAPHUCSOUTADAQUESTSHUN
>Seen on a utility in adelaide.

as seen on ute in Melbourne - "no FAT chicks"

Nev..
--
| I'm not arrogant | nbr...@melbourne.dialix.oz.au |
| I'm just a whole lot | njb...@CFS01.cc.monash.edu.au |
| better than you | VH Holden | GS650 Katana |

David Long

unread,
Apr 7, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/7/95
to
I saw this on a back of a truck.

All I need is peace and Quiet. Give me a Peace and I'll be Queit.

Michael L Ramos

unread,
Apr 7, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/7/95
to
HENRY B (c941...@alinga.newcastle.edu.au) wrote:
: Matej Osvald (mxo900@huxley) wrote:
: : Saw this one on the back of a horse float over the weekend:

: Seen on the back of a Datsun 1200

: I'm just driving this car for a bet..

: --

: .'-----\\ _
: // #``.) __
: __--~~--_-\\/ |)
: _-~~~~-__ __ _-~~ -_``.|)
: |\_.-~ ~-._| \________ _~ Harley- | \\
: |/ (} _..._/*/ \ ~\~ Davidson | ``.--~~~~~--__
: /___-~~~ /=/~-_ ~~~--------~~--------------/ .-~\\ _________~
: * ---/=/ \ \ /{}===_____===_ || / __``. / \ *
: / __/=/_\____\__\ /[]###/=== \###\ || /__/ \\ /
: | | [ |*|___________~~~~~==/ ##\_____/## \ \| | |------*------| |
: \ ~~___________________/ /_##+++++##* | | / \
: * ---\_)________________/___________\_/ / * \ / \ / *
: * * \_)____________________/ * ~~~~~ *
: ------- -------

: Brock Henry - Formerly Entropy but now I
: can't change my name
: c941...@alinga.newcastle.edu.au


Saw this one on a car out in the country:

"So many sheep so little time."

Australian Submarine Corporation Pty Ltd

unread,
Apr 7, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/7/95
to
In article <3m08ei$k...@seagoon.newcastle.edu.au>, c941...@alinga.newcastle.edu.au (HENRY B) writes:
> Matej Osvald (mxo900@huxley) wrote:
> : Saw this one on the back of a horse float over the weekend:

>
> : "Horses don't corner like Porshes"
>
> Seen on the back of a Datsun 1200
>
> I'm just driving this car for a bet..
>

How 'bout:

EYESPOSEAPHUCSOUTADAQUESTSHUN

Seen on a utility in adelaide.

--
Al

If it jams, force it.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway - Murphy

Pat Freeman

unread,
Apr 8, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/8/95
to

"Want to get laid? Climb up a chicken's butt and wait a while!"

--pat


SkyMan27

unread,
Apr 9, 1995, 3:00:00 AM4/9/95