"She's so fat..." jokes
Nick Sandru (langt haar) (EMP)
>Okay...how about this. Don't know if it's been on rec.humor before...but...
>Does anybody know of any "She's so fat...." jokes?
>For example:
> She's so fat!
> (HOW FAT *IS* SHE?!?!)
> She's so fat, she's taller laying down than she is standing up!
> She's so fat!
> (HOW FAT *IS* SHE?!?!)
> She's so fat, we take her to McDonald's just to watch the
> sign change! (4 billion served to 5 billion served.) :-)
>Anybody got anymore?? Please post, or send e-mail. I will post a list.
She's so fat!
One can stroke her ass all the night without passing his hand
twice on the same place.
She's so fat that some kids stole her pants from the rope,
thinking that it was a tent.
Long Haired Nick
--
| Nick Sandru (alias Long Haired Nick) | Backpacker's First Law:
| Hoje Topholm 37 | e-mail: | "The thing you need lies either
| DK-3390 Hundested | n...@iddth.id.dk | in the bottom of your backpack,
| Denmark | ne...@iddth.id.dk | or in a closet at your home..."
J o' Farrell(tdp)
She's so fat , she went sunbathing and greenpeace put her back in the water
Without effort and without exposing in the least how it is done the greatest
poet brings the spirit of any or all events and passions and scenes and persons some more some less to bear on your individual character as you hear or read.
To do this well is to compete with the laws that pursue and follow time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh Captain! My Captain! our fearfull trip is done,
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sea...@maths.tcd.ie |
---------------------
Paul Crowley
> Without effort and without exposing in the least how it is done the greatest
> poet brings the spirit of any or all events and passions and scenes and persons some more some less to bear on your individual character as you hear or read.
> To do this well is to compete with the laws that pursue and follow time.
Outtakes from Beckett's Lucky?
____
\/ o\ Paul Crowley ai...@uk.ac.ed.castle \ /
/\__/ Part straight. Part gay. All queer. \/
Barry Gunn
buys signature blue jeans...........Orson Wells
when the cops see her they yell "break it up"
when she goes to the beach, Greenpeace trys to roll her back into the water
BG
Ron Dippold
>Okay...how about this. Don't know if it's been on rec.humor before...but...
>
>Does anybody know of any "She's so fat...." jokes?
>For example:
>
> She's so fat!
> (HOW FAT *IS* SHE?!?!)
> She's so fat, she's taller laying down than she is standing up!
... she has to make three trips to haul ass.
cs170...@vger.nsu.edu
> demo...@unhd.unh.edu (CS410 Demonstration Account(9)) writes:
>
>>Okay...how about this. Don't know if it's been on rec.humor before...but...
>
>>Does anybody know of any "She's so fat...." jokes?
>>For example:
J o' Farrell(tdp)
>In article <1991Apr18.1...@maths.tcd.ie> sea...@maths.tcd.ie (J o' Farrell(tdp)) writes:
>> Without effort and without exposing in the least how it is done the greatest
>> poet brings the spirit of any or all events and passions and scenes and persons some more some less to bear on your individual character as you hear or read.
>> To do this well is to compete with the laws that pursue and follow time.
>Outtakes from Beckett's Lucky?
> ____
Sorry to say that I'm not sure. All I know is that it was in a book on
Walt Whitman. I was infatuated with the writings of said same writer after
the dead poets society.Now I'm stuck for an ob joke??????
She's so fat they park dump trucks between her legs?
will that do, I think not
Ob joke attempt no.2;
(Curerent to another topic running)
Weird song lyrics;
Put your left leg over my shoulder
Put your right leg over my shoulder
MMmmnnmMMMnnnnMMMnnnnnnGGHHMMNNMNNMMNN
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me
Sit on my face and tell me that you care!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Back off man I'm a scientist. If the world was the size of an orange Dr P. Venkman I don't think we would fit!.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Any condesending notes or personal flames you wish to send me will be promptly be ignored at the following address: sea...@maths.tcd.ie
I apologise for your being alive and I'll see you in the pages of the net. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
J o' Farrell(tdp)
Paul Beatrice
She's so fat (how fat is she):
I asked her what she wanted on her hamburger, she said a hotdog.
She's so fat (how fat is she):
She drinks pepsi heavy
She's so fat (how fat is she):
She's the only one who can stand in front of a microwave oven and screem:
HURRY!!!!!!!!!!
She's so fat (how fat is she):
She puts mayonaise on an aspirin.
Just a few to think about.
Phil Ross
> Okay...how about this. Don't know if it's been on rec.humor before...but...
>
> Does anybody know of any "She's so fat...." jokes?
I like going up to fat people in the street and saying:
"Excuse me... you'd know.... where can I get some food around here?"
-=- Apologies to all you fat people out there -=-
Cyba...@Tornado.Gen.NZ Phil Ross
Cyba...@Sideways.Gen.NZ ~~~~~~~~~
[Massbuster] Northern Territory University
> Okay...how about this. Don't know if it's been on rec.humor before...but...
>
> Does anybody know of any "She's so fat...." jokes?
>
> (HOW FAT *IS* SHE?!?!)
> She's so fat, she's taller laying down than she is standing up!
>
>
> She's so fat!
> (HOW FAT *IS* SHE?!?!)
> sign change! (4 billion served to 5 billion served.) :-)
>
> Anybody got anymore?? Please post, or send e-mail. I will post a list.
>
>
> Bud demo...@unhd.unh.edu
how about
"She's so fat .. she went to the beach .. sat down for an hour ...
... got up and walked 100 yards before she noticed that she had a
skinny guy wedged between her arse cheeks". (Rodney Rude)
--
******************************************************************************
Robbie Cook
Northern Territory University
Darwin AUSTRALIA
addr : co...@darwin.ntu.edu.au
"He trudged along, unknowing what he sought, and whistled as he went,
for want of a thought" - Dryden
******************************************************************************
BACS Data Communications Group
> (HOW FAT *IS* SHE?!?!)
She's so fat that if you put salad dressing on a haystack, she'd eat it.
--
Frank re...@ucs.indiana.edu
Andy Soravilla
Instead of a tutu, she has to wear a threethree.
Andy
David Clarke
As if that were not bad enough, there is always the pick-up line of:
"You don't sweat much for a fat lass, do you?"
David Bingham
She has so many chins, he has to use a bookmark to find her mouth.
He has more chins than the Chinatown phone book.
There, I said it. I feel much better now.
Kevin Pollard
> demo...@unhd.unh.edu (CS410 Demonstration Account(9)) writes:
>
>> Okay...how about this. Don't know if it's been on rec.humor before...but...
>>
>> Does anybody know of any "She's so fat...." jokes?
>
How about:
I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, but she's the
only person I know who is taller laying down than she
is standing up.
Darren Handler
Steve Strauss
Chris Best
----------
I don't know. I quoted this line to my wife exactly, and she
didn't laugh. I even showed her the printout.
I tried saying it different ways (timing is crucial to comedy,
they say), in different accents, with all kinds of props. Nothing.
I shouted "IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?" out my window at all
different hours, but all I got were a few "FUCK YOU!"s and a
"GO TO HELL!" (I did get some nice vegetables, though).
The wife's going to try it out at her next bridge club meeting.
Maybe they know something I don't.
If that doesn't work, I'm hopping the next plane to Tibet. They
say there's this dude on top of one of the mountains that can
understand cryptic shit like this. I can hardly wait for the
enlightenment.
For now, though, it's not funny. But maybe it's just me.
Barry Gunn
----------
Yes-- compared to yours it is
BG
Dave Cochran
The problem is that you missed the point of the post. The question was
"Is THIS supposed to be funny?". Next time, try leaning out yer window
and shouting THIS! as loud as you can. It's a laugh riot.
Tell your wife to use the word "this" at her bridge club as often as possible,
and she'll be the life of the party.
I've been using the word "this" most of my life, and it has never failed to
get a grin. Before I started using "this", I was just an ordinary guy. Now
that I use "this" effectively, I get invited to all sorts of parties and social
functions.
When you shouted "IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?", the word "this" was lost in
all of the rest of the sentence, and the humor got overpowered.
This is the end of this session.
--
+------------------------------------------------------+
|Dave Cochran (coc...@spam.rtp.dg.com) |
|Data General Corporation, Research Triangle Park, NC |
+------------------------------------------------------+
|"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. |
| Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx|
+------------------------------------------------------+
Matthew Berger
She's SOOOooo Fat :
She burnt out 4 motors on a ferris wheel !
Matt the Wobbler
Steve Strauss
Path: gdfwc3!jassys!egsner!convex!cs.utexas.edu!sdd.hp.com!hp-col!hpctdlb!hpctdke!cab
From: c...@hpctdke.HP.COM (Chris Best)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: 2 May 91 13:46:20 GMT
References: <920...@hpnmdla.hp.com>
Organization: Hewlett-Packard CTD, Colo. Spgs.
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If you had just looked at the "joke" it was in reference to, you would
have understood it. I guess it is just you.
Steve Strauss
Path: gdfwc3!jassys!egsner!convex!cs.utexas.edu!wuarchive!sdd.hp.com!hp-pcd!hplsla!barryg
From: bar...@hplsla.HP.COM ( Barry Gunn)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: 2 May 91 03:31:15 GMT
References: <1991Apr17....@unhd.unh.edu>
Organization: HP Lake Stevens, WA
Lines: 6
BG
Compared to my what?