Confucious?

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Rahul Verma

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Feb 3, 1992, 9:47:40 PM2/3/92
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Does anyone have a list of Confusious jokes. If you do, please send them
to me by E-Mail.

Thanks in advance.

Rahul Verma

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When I'm being evaluated for Heaven or Hell, I just hope god grades on a curve.
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Rahul Verma | Box 852, 5115 Margaret Morrison St., |
(412)268-4117 | Pittsburgh, PA - 15213. |
Secretary - CMU Computer Club. |
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"We didn't start the fire" - Billy Joel.
"Figaro, Figaro, Figaro..." - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
"I'm not Deaf, I'm ignoring you" - Rahul Verma
"The recession is over" - Georgie Porgie Pudding and pie
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Michael P. Anderson

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Feb 5, 1992, 4:15:58 PM2/5/92
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In article <UdXTvAi00...@andrew.cmu.edu> rv...@andrew.cmu.edu (Rahul Verma) writes:


>"The recession is over" - Georgie Porgie Pudding and pie

Spanked the Congress and Made It Cry

Paul

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Feb 5, 1992, 12:17:54 PM2/5/92
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Confucious say:
He who fart in church, sit in own pew.

sno...@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu

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Feb 6, 1992, 12:17:02 PM2/6/92
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In article <UdXTvAi00...@andrew.cmu.edu>, Rahul Verma <rv...@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
> Does anyone have a list of Confusious jokes. If you do, please send them
> to me by E-Mail.
>
> Thanks in advance.
>
> Rahul Verma
>

Here is a compilation of the confusious postings from a few months ago
here on rec-humor.......

Michael aka SNO...@DRYCAS.CLUB.CC.CMU.EDU


Confucius say
It take square ass to shit a brick.
Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Stand on toilet, get high on pot.
Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!
Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town.
Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk.
A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.
Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger.
Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission
grow up to be shiftless bastard.
Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
Man with atletic finger make broad jump.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss baloons.
"Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door.
Boy with hole in pocket, feel cocky all day.
Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night.
Man who lay woman on ground have peace (piece) on earth.
Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands..
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who is jacking into a peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
Man who stand on toilet get high on pot!
Man who fly upside-down have crack up!
He who eats to many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
America Good Place to Put Chinese Restuarant.
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Stand on toilet, get high on pot.
Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!
Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.
when lady say no, she mean maybe
when lady say maybe, she mean yes
when lady say yes, she no lady
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town.
A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.
Man who go to bed with itchy butt
wake with smelly finger.
Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission
grow up to be shiftless bastard.
Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to fell low down.
Man with atletic finger make broad jump.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
Man who go to bed with sex on mind
Wakes with solution in hand.
He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
He who rapes a man's daughter, draws and quarters his
son, and buries his wife alive in an anthill should not expect to sit
at that man's dinner table without the subject coming up.
He who outruns the cheetah is fucking fast on his feet!
There is no such thing as rape; Woman run faster with skirt
up, than Man with pants down.
man who take lady on camping trip have one intent.
man who put head on railroad track
get splitting headache
He who pull out to fast leave rubber behind.
He who refuses to listen is lying.
He who stands in corner with hands in pocket
doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts.
He who eats to many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

America Good Place to Put Chinese Restuarant.

Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.

Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Stand on toilet, get high on pot.

Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!

Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.

Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.

when lady say no, she mean maybe
when lady say maybe, she mean yes
when lady say yes, she no lady

Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town.

A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.

Man who go to bed with itchy butt
wake with smelly finger.

Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission
grow up to be shiftless bastard.

Man who lay girl on hill not on level.

Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.

Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.

Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to fell low down.

Man with atletic finger make broad jump.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.

He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.

Man who go to bed with sex on mind
Wakes with solution in hand.

He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.

He who rapes a man's daughter, draws and quarters his
son, and buries his wife alive in an anthill should not expect to sit
at that man's dinner table without the subject coming up.

He who outruns the cheetah is fucking fast on his feet!

There is no such thing as rape; Woman run faster with skirt
up, than Man with pants down.

man who take lady on camping trip have one intent.

man who put head on railroad track
get splitting headache

He who pull out to fast leave rubber behind.

He who refuses to listen is lying.

He who stands in corner with hands in pocket
doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts.

He who eats to many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

Man who have woman on ground have piece on earth.

Woman who fly upside down have hairy crackup.


Confucious say:
Man who take lady on camping trip have one intent.

Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

Man who go to bed with sex on mind
Wakes with solution in hand.

Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.

Confucius say "Man who is jacking into a peanut butter jar is fucking nuts".

Confucious Say: He who pull out to fast leave rubber behind.

Confucius say:
Man with hands in pockets feel foolish,
Man with hole in pocket feel nuts.

1. confucious says man who lay woman on ground have peace (piece) on earth.

2. comfucious says man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands..


Confucious say: "Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk."


Confucius say it take square ass to shit a brick.


Confucius say :

Woman who not practise sex before marriage is sentenced to an
indeterminate length.


Confucius: --he who stands on toilet seat is high on pot; and
--he who sniffs Coke, drowns.
--crowded elevator smells different to midget.


How about Confucius say "man with hands in pockets, feel cocky."


Confucius say, "Lady who live in glass house, dress in basement!"

Confusius say, "Small fly on top of big toilet, high on pot!"


1. Confusious says to make egg roll
Push it.

2. Confusious says, "Woman who puts detergent on top shelf,

Jump for Joy"


Confucious say:
man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead.
man who lay girl on hill, not on level.
man who fishes in other man's well often catch crabs.
boy who play with himself pulls boner.
woman who cooks carrots and pees in same pot very unsanitary.
man who marry girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet.
man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

Jason Hamari,Sauna

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Feb 9, 1992, 12:19:19 AM2/9/92
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>Does anyone have a list of Confusious jokes. If you do, please send them
>to me by E-Mail.

Ditto...


--
fiz...@lopez.UUCP / Luposlipaphobia: the fear of being pursued by
I'm saving my sanity / timber wolves around a kitchen table while
for future use. / wearing socks on a newly waxed floor.

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