If you believe THAT,
then I want to know if you like oceanfront
property in Nebraska.
then I know an honest politician you should
vote for.
do you wanna buy tickets to Mars?
do you wanna meet Snuffleufagus?
you know where I can meet Elvis.
I know this company...and they cross bugs
with plants...and they're really
big with the US Drug
Administration, ay...
I got yer nohz.
then I can sell you stock in this drug for
pregnant wimin.
then I hav to tell you about this official
who will give you lots of money in
exchange for the use of your
bank account.
then I'll stop spamming you when
I get your return e-mail, according
to an American _Bill_ that probably
explains why you're getting it in
the first place.
_______
<a href="http://ecn.ab.ca/~brewhaha/">BrewJay's Babble Bin</a>
> you know where I can meet Elvis.
He's opened a frozen yogurt stand on Jupiter, if what I've been told is
true.
> If you believe THAT,
[snip]
Say, that was real funny! And if you believe THAT, I've got a Limited
Edition leatherbound book titled "Rec.Humor's Biggest, Rip-Roaringest,
Gut-Bustingest, Belly-Laughingest Greatest Hits" to sell you.
> He's opened a frozen yogurt stand on Jupiter, if what I've been told is
> true.
It's pretty cold up there!
edbook.livejournal.com/tag/nika+trail
Bill
Where is my royalty check?
>>> If you believe THAT,
>> [snip]
>> Say, that was real funny! And if you believe THAT, I've got
>> a Limited Edition leatherbound book titled "Rec.Humor's
>> Biggest, Rip-Roaringest, Gut-Bustingest, Belly-Laughingest
>> Greatest Hits" to sell you.
>
> Where is my Reality Check?
Fixed your post for you.
Wow - will wonders never cease? Prof Dr Bill admitting to something COLD???
> Wow - will wonders never cease? Prof Dr Bill admitting to something
> COLD???
"...And melt yore cold, cold heart...."
Bill
<swooning>
oh - oops - thank something wondrous for recognizing subject lines
>> "...And melt yore cold, cold heart...."
>
> <swooning>
>
> oh - oops - thank something wondrous for recognizing subject lines
Hee hee hee!
I was actually thinking of the Norah Jones version of that lovely tune.
Bill
Just don't offer him a copy autographed by all of us.
Check ? Feh, he'll AmEx since
he claims not to have a limit.
>> Say, that was real funny! And if you believe THAT, I've got
>> a Limited Edition leatherbound book titled "Rec.Humor's
>> Biggest, Rip-Roaringest, Gut-Bustingest, Belly-Laughingest
>> Greatest Hits" to sell you.
>
> Just don't offer him a copy autographed by all of us.
What makes you think *you'd* have any reason to autograph it?
For the same reason you got a copy of it.
>>> He's opened a frozen yogurt stand on Jupiter, if what I've been told is
>>> true.
>>
>> It's pretty cold up there!
>
>Wow - will wonders never cease? Prof Dr Bill admitting to something COLD???
And you told me before that you liked Canukians, Summer. How you have
changed!
ROTFL!
Now, really, where is my royalty check?
Where in the world did you get the idea that I changed? Bill is quite easily
a most delicious dish. Your perceptions have slipped again.
Dish? RUN FOR THE HILLS, BILL! SUMMER CONSIDERS YOU CANADIAN
BACON!!!
>>> Wow - will wonders never cease? Prof Dr Bill admitting to something
>>> COLD???
>>
>> "...And melt yore cold, cold heart...."
>
> <swooning>
> oh - oops - thank something wondrous for recognizing subject lines
Something, not someone ... _that's_ what he's been trying to tell you!
>>>> Say, that was real funny! And if you believe THAT, I've got
>>>> a Limited Edition leatherbound book titled "Rec.Humor's
>>>> Biggest, Rip-Roaringest, Gut-Bustingest, Belly-Laughingest
>>>> Greatest Hits" to sell you.
>>> Just don't offer him a copy autographed by all of us.
>> What makes you think *you'd* have any reason to autograph it?
>
> For the same reason you got a copy of it.
Well, if you believed THAT....
> Now, really, where is my royalty check?
<mutters to self under breath> let's see...minus two cents...<makes note>
There!
Okay, I've deducted it from your setup-fee bill. You're welcome.
And if you believed there would be an autograph party....
> And if you believed there would be an autograph party....
And if you believed I believed that...
I have dined with Elisabeth and remained fully intact to tell the tale. The
stories of cannibalism in this ng are greatly overrated.
Prof. Dr. Bill
Besides, a scientist like that you don't eat all at once.
I refuse to ask which of your pieces she ate first.
*sigh*
My favorite song.
Two cents? You gave me a raise! Thanks, man!
> Two cents? You gave me a raise! Thanks, man!
D'oh!! There goes my profit margin for July....
Of course not . . . one pleasant mouthful at a time
> Of course not . . . one pleasant mouthful at a time
Why, thank you....I think...!
Bill
And if you believed I believe Greg.....or Larry.
>> Two cents? You gave me a raise! Thanks, man!
>
>D'oh!! There goes my profit margin for July....
July?
>>> And if you believed there would be an autograph party....
>>
>> And if you believed I believed that...
>
>And if you believed I believe Greg.....or Larry.
I believe Larry. At least some of the time.
Several letters at a time maybe, but not his apostrophes.
>>>>> And if you believed there would be an autograph party....
>>>>
>>>> And if you believed I believed that...
>>>
>>>And if you believed I believe Greg.....or Larry.
>>
>> I believe Larry. At least some of the time.
>
>Several letters at a time maybe, but not his apostrophes.
Don't believe anything those twelve guys tell you.
>>> Two cents? You gave me a raise! Thanks, man!
>> D'oh!! There goes my profit margin for July....
>
> July?
Yeah, in August it'll drop back down to a penny.
Greg
tough, shrewd businessman
Snow White only had seven dwarves.
Did you misspell "penny ante putz"?
>>>>>>> And if you believed there would be an autograph party....
>>>>>>
>>>>>> And if you believed I believed that...
>>>>>
>>>>>And if you believed I believe Greg.....or Larry.
>>>>
>>>> I believe Larry. At least some of the time.
>>>
>>>Several letters at a time maybe, but not his apostrophes.
>>
>> Don't believe anything those twelve guys tell you.
>
>Snow White only had seven dwarves.
Thanks so much for sharing, Dopey.
> Thanks so much for sharing Dopey.
Don't have Mel to share.
> Did you misspell "penny ante putz"?
No, I didn't mention your name at all.
>> Did you misspell "penny ante putz"?
>
>No, I didn't mention your name at all.
But that isn't how I spell my name!
<scratching head> how DO you spell your name?
It should be Kr'ze'win'ski' but we know
know you are about leaving out apostrophes.
...with great difficulty....
"y-o-u-r-n-a-m-e"
Now that's witty . . . spelling lessons from the self-proclaimed prince of
misspelling
Some day I'll tell you a story about "y-o-u-r-n-a-m-e" .
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed
Poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed
Then one day he was shooting for some food,
And up through the ground come a bubbling crude
(Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea)
<groaning>
...self inflicted pain....
>>> Did you misspell "penny ante putz"?
>> No, I didn't mention your name at all.
>
> But that isn't how I spell my name!
Maybe it's not how *you* spell it...
> Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed
> Poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed
> Then one day he was shooting for some food,
> And up through the ground come a bubbling crude
> (Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPObq_EvIg8
let me help you:
january, february, march, april, may, JUNE, july, august, september,
october, november, december
LOL! If she lived in the southern hemisphere she would probably be
known as Winter Whiner.
Jule§
there's a lot of aggression over in rec.humor.
why are they so goddamned unfriendly towards us?
i mean, we're human too, aren't we?
if you prick me, do i not bleed? if you tickle me, do i not laugh? and
if you poison me, do i not die?
Perhaps if you did a demo video?
Yup, I agree. Did you see the post where Pap told me to *get the fuck
out of rh*? I mean ..........where does that come from??
And then theres Lars calling Colin and myself rabid dogs.
Sheesh...where's the love I ask you??!?!?
Jule§
I'm not really sure!
This is what passes as *funny* in rh???
Go figure.
Jule§
sure. you can appear in it with me.
we'll demo the tickle scene.
i'll lay back with my legs up and you can tickle my balls with your
tongue.
Oog! Watching that video put me in dire straights.
>>>> Did you misspell "penny ante putz"?
>>>
>>>No, I didn't mention your name at all.
>>
>> But that isn't how I spell my name!
>
>It should be Kr'ze'win'ski' but we know
>know you are about leaving out apostrophes.
Wh'y your rig'ht!
I did. I was quite shocked actually.
> And then theres Lars calling Colin and myself rabid dogs.
That's several steps up from "unimpressive dupe". I'm actually quite
hurt.
> Sheesh...where's the love I ask you??!?!?
Well, if Colin agrees to my video idea, you may be able to see for
yourself. For a reasonable fee, of course.
And that isn't how the State of California spelled it on my driver's
license! They spelled it "Expires 7-14-10".
Nah!... but if you want a snuff movie, I'll bring a chainsaw
>On Jul 8, 5:47 pm, Richard Catto <rrca...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> ur_droll wrote:
>> > On Jul 8, 5:23 pm, Richard Catto <rrca...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> > > Jules wrote:
>> > > > Richard Catto wrote:
>> > > > > SummersFrenzy wrote:
>> > > > >>MosNot wrote:
>> > > > >>>SummersFrenzy wrote:
>> > > > >>>><scratching head> how DO you spell your name?
>> > > > >>>"y-o-u-r-n-a-m-e"
>> > > > >>Now that's witty . . . spelling lessons from the self-proclaimed prince of
>> > > > >>misspelling
>> > > > > let me help you:
>> > > > > january, february, march, april, may, JUNE, july, august, september,
>> > > > > october, november, december
>> > > > LOL! If she lived in the southern hemisphere she would probably be
>> > > > known as Winter Whiner.
>> > > > Juleง
>> > > there's a lot of aggression over in rec.humor.
>> > > why are they so goddamned unfriendly towards us?
>> > > i mean, we're human too, aren't we?
>> > > if you prick me, do i not bleed? if you tickle me, do i not laugh? and
>> > > if you poison me, do i not die?
>> > Perhaps if you did a demo video?
>>
>> sure. you can appear in it with me.
>>
>> we'll demo the tickle scene.
>>
>> i'll lay back with my legs up and you can tickle my balls with your
>> tongue.
>
>Nah!... but if you want a snuff movie, I'll bring a chainsaw
Gonna mutilate your genitals, huh?
--
Onideus Mad Hatter
mhm น x น
http://www.backwater-productions.net
http://www.backwater-productions.net/hatter-blog
Hatter Quotes
-------------
"You're only one of the best if you're striving to become one of the
best."
"I didn't make reality, Sunshine, I just verbally bitch slapped you
with it."
"I'm not a professional, I'm an artist."
"Your Usenet blinders are my best friend."
"Usenet Filters - Learn to shut yourself the fuck up!"
"Drugs killed Jesus you know...oh wait, no, that was the Jews, my
bad."
"There are clingy things in the grass...burrs 'n such...mmmm..."
"The more I learn the more I'm killing my idols."
"Is it wrong to incur and then use the hate ridden, vengeful stupidity
of complete strangers in random Usenet froups to further my art?"
"Freedom is only a concept, like race it's merely a social construct
that doesn't really exist outside of your ability to convince others
of its relevancy."
"Next time slow up a lil, then maybe you won't jump the gun and start
creamin yer panties before it's time to pop the champagne proper."
"Reality is directly proportionate to how creative you are."
"People are pretty fucking high on themselves if they think that
they're just born with a soul. *snicker*...yeah, like they're just
givin em out for free."
"Quible, quible said the Hare. Quite a lot of quibling...everywhere.
So the Hare took a long stare and decided at best, to leave the rest,
to their merry little mess."
"There's a difference between 'bad' and 'so earth shatteringly
horrible it makes the angels scream in terror as they violently rip
their heads off, their blood spraying into the faces of a thousand
sweet innocent horrified children, who will forever have the terrible
images burned into their tiny little minds'."
"How sad that you're such a poor judge of style that you can't even
properly gauge the artistic worth of your own efforts."
"Those who record history are those who control history."
"I am the living embodiment of hell itself in all its tormentive rage,
endless suffering, unfathomable pain and unending horror...but you
don't get sent to me...I come for you."
"Ideally in a fight I'd want a BGM-109A with a W80 250 kiloton
tactical thermonuclear fusion based war head."
"Tell me, would you describe yourself more as a process or a
function?"
"Apparently this group has got the market cornered on stupid.
Intelligence is down 137 points across the board and the forecast
indicates an increase in Webtv users."
"Is my .sig delimiter broken? Really? You're sure? Awww,
gee...that's too bad...for YOU!" `, )
Just one mention of the word 'movie' and wannabe stars fawn for
attention...
Sure son!... just pop in behind this plastic splash sheet and sign our
standard disclaimer contract...?? Are you right or left handed?
but i don't want you to die!
at least... not yet.
You Amerikaners fucked it up! There's no 14th month!
Jesus, get a fucking clue!
another applicant for a fluffer, huh?
get her to show us her tits.
Its ok... I suitable dupe has signed his life away for a chance at 15
minutes of pai... Fame..<fires up chainsaw>...
heh
Nah. You're too stupid to do any of that Dicky.
Don't even try to humour me like that. Feh.
"Onideus Mad Hatter" <use...@backwater-productions.net> wrote in message
<comments snipped since they don't pertain to Hatter and he wouldn't want
attention taken away from him>
> Onideus Mad Hatter
> mhm น x น
>
take pics and then toss her out back in the alley.
i'm not paying for another useless cocksucking bimbo. we've got young
Mos here whose agreed to do it all for free.
there, there, nice doggy.
But Alice has false titties on her back.
Problem is that narcissists have a mental block when it comes to
understanding what a narcissist actually is. My mother's response was "you
are too deep, I never know what you're saying"... they always have an excuse
for not 'getting' it.
"You are too deep for me" translates to... 'you are too boring for
me'.... yer mom was being polite... Go ask her
Ihre Mutter ist tot.
Her mother is dead. Self holocausted by smoking cigarettes. It's the
preferred American method of self holocausting. That and stuffing
their faces with McDonalds' crap.
And yours is sucking anal stew from a kaffir's diseased asshole. What's
your point, Dick?
--
"Anybody can have more birthdays; but it takes
balls to get old!"
My God! you are ugly
You haven't looked in a mirror lately have you.
>
whsu wha urg der googoo hoou grob drup leaw
Don't talk with a mouthful of dirty underwear.
>