Best OJ JOKE
Michael Perkins
like to hear better ones, so pass them along.
NOTE, I didn't write these, I just heard them and I'm passing them
along.
Q: What does Mike Tyson, Magic Johnson and OJ Simpson have in common?
A: The Butcher,
The Laker and
The Licence Plate Maker.
Q: What is tougher than squeezing blood from a stone?
A: Getting OJ from a Bronco.
Q: Why would you want OJ to your house on Thanksgiving?
A: He's good at carving white meat.
Q: What did OJ tell his chauffer when he went to Nicoles house?
A: I've got 15 minutes to kill
Ciao'
Michael Perkins
michael...@hofbbs.com | New York All rights reserved (C)
* OLX 2.1 TD * Windows 3.1: the best $99 solitare game I've ever seen!
Henrik Brameus
Perkins) wrote:
> OK, good bad or indifferant, here is a few OJ Jokes I've heard. I'd
> like to hear better ones, so pass them along.
>
> NOTE, I didn't write these, I just heard them and I'm passing them
> along.
Just be glad *you* didn't make tham up yourself (or if you did at least
you're intelligent enough to deny it). You wanted better ones. How about
this one:
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
OJ.
OJ who?
You're on the jury!
--
No sig. I've given up smoking.
Lisa Cekan
AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Do I have permission to hog-tie the next person who
posts that knock knock joke in ANY language??????!!!!!!!!!!
Objoke:
Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.
---
Lisa Cekan Cinderella story....outta nowhere...
David Wheeler
>AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Do I have permission to hog-tie the next person who
>posts that knock knock joke in ANY language??????!!!!!!!!!!
Haven't seen it in German yet, so with apologies to any Germans reading
this for any screw-ups I make:
Klopf klopf!
Wer ist da?
OJ.
Welcher OJ?
Sehr gut, Sie sind am Geschworenengericht!
Go on, Lisa, hog-tie me, hog-tie me... :-) ;-)
----------------------------------------------------------------
David A. Wheeler, Motorola Ltd., Basingstoke, Hampshire, England
TUK...@maccvm.corp.mot.com
Bill Evans
: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Do I have permission to hog-tie the next person who
Andrew E. Phelps
In article <77592845...@blue.weeg.uiowa.edu>,
Lisa Cekan offers gratification in the form of:
>AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Do I have permission to hog-tie the next person who
>posts that knock knock joke in ANY language??????!!!!!!!!!!
What about a good spanking?
>Objoke:
>
>Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.
I've *never* heard that one.
*----------------------------------*
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aeph...@aza.win.net "Just a little rain" -- Page/Plant
Andy Phelps "You can't depend on your judgment when
Louisville Laboratories, inc. your imagination is out of focus." -- Mark Twain
JANE
>In note <henrik.brameus-...@144.7.60.153>, henrik.brameus@aldus.
>com (Henrik Brameus) writes:
>>In article <18a.16...@hofbbs.com>, michael...@hofbbs.com (Michael
>>Perkins) wrote:
>>
>AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Do I have permission to hog-tie the next person who
>posts that knock knock joke in ANY language??????!!!!!!!!!!
>
knock, knock
who's there?
orange
orange, who?
orange you glad i didn't say O.J.?
*** Couldn't resist!
Bill Evans
: Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.
No, no, it's: A guy walks into a bar with a duck under his arm ...
-- Captain Nitpick
rg...@sunyboard.org
IH>Knock, knock!
IH>Who's there?
IH>OJ.
IH>OJ who?
IH>You're on the jury!
IH>--
IH>No sig. I've given up smoking.
Just thought I'd repeat this for any that missed it the 1st, 2nd,
3rd,4th,5th,6th,7th,8th.... time!
Dennis
Evans) wrote:
No, no, it's: Three guys duck into a bar. The fourth one walks on by.
--
oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo
oo1oo Binary 4's all around. And a "bit bird" to you too. oo1oo
oo1oo Some people don't know the difference between a grin oo1oo
oo1oo and a grimace. /s/ Me nea...@cc.memphis.edu oo1oo
oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo oo1oo
jon mortensen
=>>Who's there?
=>>OJ.
=>>OJ who?
=>>You're on the jury!
LC=>AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Do I have permission to hog-tie the next person who
=>posts that knock knock joke in ANY language??????!!!!!!!!!!
No, I hog-tie anyone who posts it in Danish<G>
* OLX 2.1 TD * SpeedNet:Information for real race fans (317)926-1903
Jered Floyd
Knocka! Knocka!
Whosa there?
Oh Jay!
Oh Jay Hoo?
Yoor on the joory! Bork! Bork! Bork!
--
Jered Floyd - jjf...@vela.acs.oakland.edu
Geek Code 2.1 - GAT d? H- s-:- g- p? !au a-- w+ v+ C++++ UL++++ P+ L++
N+++ K+++ W++ M-- V-- -po+ Y++ tv+ 5+++ j++ R v++ b+++ D+++ B--- e* u**
h++ f? r? n- !y+ (Finger for PGP key, picture, humor anOUT OF SPACE
Daniel P Tasman
In Cheektowaga/Parma/Hamtramack vernacular ...
Buzz! Buzz!
Who is dat dere?
O.J. dere.
O.J.? I du'no no O.J. dere. You selling sometin?
No, but you're on dat dere jury now dere.
--
Dan Tasman tas...@acsu.buffalo.edu
SUNY at Buffalo - School of Architecture and Planning
"I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree.
indeed, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."
Odgen Nash, Song of the Open Road
andreas petersson
: In Swedish?
: Knocka! Knocka!
: Whosa there?
: Oh Jay!
: Oh Jay Hoo?
: Yoor on the joory! Bork! Bork! Bork!
Not exactly...
More like:
Knack, Knack
Vem dar?
O.J.
Vilken O.J.?
Grattis, du ar med i juryn.
/Andreas Petersson, Halmstad University, Sweden. http://www.hh.se:7777/
Velera Womble
> =>>Knock, knock!
> =>>Who's there?
> =>>OJ.
> =>>OJ who?
> =>>You're on the jury!
>LC=>AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Do I have permission to hog-tie the next person who
> =>posts that knock knock joke in ANY language??????!!!!!!!!!!
>No, I hog-tie anyone who posts it in Danish<G>
I got dibs on Italian.
Jesus H. Christ Jr.
I'm the man in the mirror
svedish chev
come on, doncha know who the Swedish Chef is?
he has his own newsgroup!
(Im SERIOUS!!!! its alt.swedish.chef.bork.bork.bork !!!!
check it out, if you dont believe me!!!
and post something while youre there!!)
Bork! Bork! Bork!
Oh, and note the newsgroups this is posted in,
theres some proof for ya!
za svedish chev Bork! Bork! Bork!
Matt Carothers
>Subject: Re: Best OJ JOKE
>From: nea...@cc.memphis.edu (Dennis)
>Date: 8 Aug 94 10:00:40 -0500
No, no, it's: Three guys bar a duck. The fourth one scratches his underarm.
Matt CAROTHERs
caro...@husc14.harvard.edu
------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Will work for .sig's |
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gary Barth
tas...@acsu.buffalo.edu (Daniel P Tasman) writes:
>
> In Cheektowaga/Parma/Hamtramack vernacular ...
>
> Buzz! Buzz!
> Who is dat dere?
> O.J. dere.
> O.J.? I du'no no O.J. dere. You selling sometin?
> No, but you're on dat dere jury now dere.
>
> --
Sounds more like Cajun to me. Sure you're not a coon-ass?
****************************************************** * ***
* Gary Barth N4YVN * "It's not the size of the / *
* epg...@email.mot.com * wand, it's the magic of / *
* 7410...@compuserve.com * the magician!" / *
**************************************************************
Richard Montanari
>From: epg...@email.mot.com (Gary Barth)
>Subject: Re: Best OJ JOKE
>In article <CuAzz...@acsu.buffalo.edu>
>tas...@acsu.buffalo.edu (Daniel P Tasman) writes:
>>
>> In Cheektowaga/Parma/Hamtramack vernacular ...
>>
>> Buzz! Buzz!
>> Who is dat dere?
>> O.J. dere.
>> O.J.? I du'no no O.J. dere. You selling sometin?
>> No, but you're on dat dere jury now dere.
>>
>> --
>Sounds more like Cajun to me. Sure you're not a coon-ass?
For this I went 14.4 .....
frank.g.neves
> In article <@schbbs.mot.com> epg...@email.mot.com (Gary Barth) writes:
> >From: epg...@email.mot.com (Gary Barth)
> >Subject: Re: Best OJ JOKE
> >Date: Thu, 11 Aug 1994 13:24:02 GMT
> >In article <CuAzz...@acsu.buffalo.edu>
> >tas...@acsu.buffalo.edu (Daniel P Tasman) writes:
> >>
> >> In Cheektowaga/Parma/Hamtramack vernacular ...
> >>
> >> Buzz! Buzz!
> >> Who is dat dere?
> >> O.J. dere.
> >> O.J.? I du'no no O.J. dere. You selling sometin?
> >> No, but you're on dat dere jury now dere.
> >>
OK - now I'm about as sick of all these OJKK jokes as everyone else, but
God help me, I have to admit that this hit my funnybone in such a way that
I had to get up and walk away (laughing).
I think it's a sickness. I can't tell at this point who even wrote that,
but whoever you are - THAT was well done!
Frank
--
*************************************************************************
Frank G. Neves, R.Hy. | "Immanetize the Eschaton..."
Discl: No wife, no horse, no moustache | "Credo Quia Absurdum"
*************************************************************************
Anthony F. Navarro
What is Nichole Simpson going as for Halloween?
A Pez dispenser
Chris Athans
As a matter of fact, yes. I've heard/seen that joke here over 10 times.
Please read the newsgroups you join, band with is expensive and senseless
post of all ready covered matterial is costly.
-Chris
--
Chris Athans cat...@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM
Printed on 100% recycled bits ! Help reduce net trash!
Life isn't too short, it's DEATH that's too long...
Robert Glenn Etter Jr
Chris Athans <cat...@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM> wrote:
>In article <32jqjn$e...@pipe3.pipeline.com>,
>Anthony F. Navarro <anav...@pipeline.com> wrote:
>Please read the newsgroups you join, band with is expensive and senseless
>post of all ready covered matterial is costly.
>
>-Chris
>--
Only 10 times? A joke of the O.J. Simpson genre posted only 10 times?
Something MUST BE DONE!! Here goes:
Did you hear about the new Nicole Simpson doll?
It doubles as a PEZ dispenser.
Harharharhar! Another...
Guess what Nicole Simpson dressed up as for a masquerade ball?
A PEZ dispenser!
Harharharhar! Another...
What do Nicole Simpson and a PEZ dispenser have in common?
They both have a gap between the head and body!
Harharharhar! Another...
Did you hear about PEZ Inc.'s latest dispenser?
Nicole Simpson!
Harharharhar! Another...
Guess what I saw last Halloween?
Nicole Simpson dressed up as a PEZ dispenser!
Harharharhar! Another...
Guess what the current most popular PEZ despeser is.
Give up? Nicole Simpson.
Harharharhar! Another...
Knock Knock
Who is it?
O.J.
O.J. who?
OK, you're on the jury.
This last one isn't about Nicole Simpson but it's a new one so I thought
I'd post it here.
Yours in Freedom,
Marshal Bob
Eds line
(Robert Glenn Etter Jr) writes:
Is it true that the Nicole Simpson Pez dispenser doubles as a O.J. Straw?
Also when I bougt my Nicole Pez dispenser the sunglasses it was supposed
to come with were not in on the despenser?..Who do I write to complain
to...the restaurant?
Chemical Imbalance
>: Whosa there?
>: Oh Jay!
>: Oh Jay Hoo?
>: Yoor on the joory! Bork! Bork! Bork!
Is it just me, or is this drivel... well, not funny???
<assumes the voice of a baby seal> Yeah, it's like being clubbed to death...!
Anyway... just HOPING I could kill this thread before it got EVEN MORE out
of hand...
ObPun: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,
But a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand. <grin>
Hava day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey everybody, It's HAIKU time!
--
Bloody pulpy corpse Kicked you in the teeth
Victim of the rage of one Blood flows from your broken face
Hatchet to the face Now you call me that
Hot wax on the eyes
Blind from a candle's dripping
See how much I care!
--
Email/Flaming encouraged:
nbb...@HELIX.watstar.uwaterloo.ca (Nick 'Nafsik' Boldt)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
C.Caloia
|> Please read the newsgroups you join, band with is expensive and senseless
|> post of all ready covered matterial is costly.
I give up, band with what?
Alan Frazier
Dave Bushong
>In article <nealhd-08...@141.225.211.202> nea...@cc.memphis.edu (Dennis) writes:
>>Subject: Re: Best OJ JOKE
>>From: nea...@cc.memphis.edu (Dennis)
>>Date: 8 Aug 94 10:00:40 -0500
>>In article <Cu2xG...@howie.pairgain.com>, eva...@howie.pairgain.com (Bill
>>Evans) wrote:
>>
>>> Lisa Cekan (lce...@chop.isca.uiowa.edu) wrote:
>>> : Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.
>>>
>>> No, no, it's: A guy walks into a bar with a duck under his arm ...
>>>
>>> -- Captain Nitpick
>>
>>No, no, it's: Three guys duck into a bar. The fourth one walks on by.
>>
>No, no, it's: Three guys bar a duck. The fourth one scratches his underarm.
>Matt CAROTHERs
>caro...@husc14.harvard.edu
No, wait. It's: Three nuns walk into a bar. No, three guys dressed
like nuns. (Anyone remember how this Richard Pryor joke ends?)
--
Dave Bushong
OPEN/image Recognition Products
Bill Evans
Band with us, and we'll straighten your kid sister's teeth for free?
-- Captain Nitpick
Henrik Brameus
wrote:
It could have something to do with mind over matter. Or maybe that should
be mindial over matterial. And I don't understand why it should be cheaper
to post unfinished matter instead of such matter (all) ready for posting.
--
Chris Yandall
why is it best to drink cranberry juice at breakfast?
i dunno...
because O.J. will kill you !
Heynormm
Bernie
(frank.g.neves) writes:
Dumb ...Dumb......Dumb!!!!
frank.g.neves
Excuse me, Bernie; I did not write the above.
JUSTME
writes:
>
> Newsgroups: rec.humor
> Date: 28 Oct 94 11:11:57 GMT
>
> Distribution: usa
> Organization: AT&T
> Lines: 14
> Nntp-Posting-Host: cbnews.cb.att.com
>
> In article <38prdg$f...@newsbf01.news.aol.com>, Bernie <bernie@
> aol.com> wrote:
> >In article <CuHsK...@cbfsb.cb.att.com>, f...@cbnewsb.cb.att.com
> >(frank.g.neves) writes:
> >
> >Dumb ...Dumb......Dumb!!!!
>
> Excuse me, Bernie; I did not write the above.
>
> Frank
> --
> *************************************************************************
> Frank G. Neves, R.Hy. | "Immanetize the Eschaton..."
> Discl: No wife, no horse, no moustache | "Credo Quia Absurdum"
> *************************************************************************
>
Whats the difference between John Elway and O.J. Simpson.
One Drives a slow white Bronco the other is a slow White Bronco.....
__ __
Mark Jardine Internet: mt...@chevron.com
*********************************************************
"Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a
house."
anon
*********************************************************
JUSTME
writes:
>
> Newsgroups: rec.humor
> Subject: Re: Best OJ JOKE
> Message-ID: <CyDr3...@nntpa.cb.att.com>
> Date: 28 Oct 94 11:11:57 GMT
>
> Distribution: usa
> Organization: AT&T
> Lines: 14
> Nntp-Posting-Host: cbnews.cb.att.com
>
> aol.com> wrote:
> >In article <CuHsK...@cbfsb.cb.att.com>, f...@cbnewsb.cb.att.com
> >(frank.g.neves) writes:
> >
> >Dumb ...Dumb......Dumb!!!!
>
> Excuse me, Bernie; I did not write the above.
>
> Frank
> --
> *************************************************************************
> Frank G. Neves, R.Hy. | "Immanetize the Eschaton..."
> Discl: No wife, no horse, no moustache | "Credo Quia Absurdum"
> *************************************************************************
>
ONE DRIVES A SLOW WHITE BRONCO AND THE OTHER IS A SLOW WHITE BRONCO...