Contradictions...
ly...@ecs.umass.edu
One bright day, in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
The stood back to back and faced each other,
Drew out their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
He went out and shot the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man, he saw it too!!!
Anyone know who wrote this, or if there are any others
like it?
-Dan Lyddy
"Tradition is no excuse for stupidity." -me
00tas...@bsu-ucs.uucp
> I once heard this poem/story when I was a kid...
>
> One bright day, in the middle of the night,
> Two dead boys got up to fight.
> The stood back to back and faced each other,
> Drew out their swords and shot each other.
> A deaf policeman heard the noise,
> He went out and shot the two dead boys.
> If you don't believe this lie is true,
> Ask the blind man, he saw it too!!!
>
> Anyone know who wrote this, or if there are any others
> like it?
We used to sing a song which used some of these lines at summer camp.
(I spent a total of 15 years as camper and councelor) Would you believe
that the rest of the song is for what ever reason not coming in to my head.
If I remember right, it was called "boom boom ain't it great to be crazy"
--
==================================================================
TAS | And so as I patrol in the
| valley of the shadow of the
je pense donc je suis | Tricolor - I must fear evil
| for I am but mortal and
| mortals can only die...
00tas...@bsu-ucs.uucp | - Marillion (Fish)
===================================================================
r...@nmsb.larc.nasa.gov
>I once heard this poem/story when I was a kid...
>
>One bright day, in the middle of the night,
>Two dead boys got up to fight.
>The stood back to back and faced each other,
>Drew out their swords and shot each other.
>A deaf policeman heard the noise,
>He went out and shot the two dead boys.
>If you don't believe this lie is true,
>Ask the blind man, he saw it too!!!
>
>Anyone know who wrote this, or if there are any others
>like it?
This is one I heard a while ago. Its not particularly funny
but it is full of contradictions.
I see said the blind man
to his deaf daughter over the telephone
as he picked up his hammer and saw.
You're a liar said the deaf mute.
-Anonymous
Dave Kimble
> I once heard this poem/story when I was a kid...
>
There was another one that went:
Ladies and Jellyspoons,
I come before to stand behind you
to tell you something I know nothing about.
This Thursday, which is Good Friday, there will
be a mother's meeting for fathers only.
Admission is free, pay at the door.
Bring your own chair and sit on the floor.
This meeting will be held at the four corners
of the round table.
----------------------------------
These opinions aren't even my own.
----------------------------------
Kristopher Martin Nasadowski
>I once heard this poem/story when I was a kid...
>One bright day, in the middle of the night,
>Two dead boys got up to fight.
>The stood back to back and faced each other,
>Drew out their swords and shot each other.
>A deaf policeman heard the noise,
>He went out and shot the two dead boys.
>If you don't believe this lie is true,
>Ask the blind man, he saw it too!!!
>Anyone know who wrote this, or if there are any others
>like it?
My mom used to say ...
"'I see', said the blind man to his deaf wife, who was listening to the
radio, as he picked up his hammer and saw."
Kristopher Nasadowski
<nas...@rpi.edu>
Stephen C. Miller
to me now......
--
--------------------
=Steve Miller stcm...@copper.ucs.indiana.edu
@IUBACS (.BITNET)
@ucs.indiana.edu
OOOOh bigol jetairliner. Dontake metoo faraway. Ooooh bigol
jetairliner. Causeits herethat Iwant tostay. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah.
Dave Isaacs
>In article <16519.2...@ecs.umass.edu>, ly...@ecs.umass.edu writes:
>> I once heard this poem/story when I was a kid...
>>
>> < poem deleted >
>There was another one that went:
>Ladies and Jellyspoons,
>I come before to stand behind you
>to tell you something I know nothing about.
>This Thursday, which is Good Friday, there will
>be a mother's meeting for fathers only.
>Admission is free, pay at the door.
>Bring your own chair and sit on the floor.
>This meeting will be held at the four corners
>of the round table.
I see! I see, said the blind man to his deaf wife as he picked
up the hammer and saw!
John Holeman
When I first heard the first story(bright day...etc.), it was also at
a summer camp but went more like this...
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor
Admission is free so pay at the door.
One dark night in broad daylight
Two dead boys decided to fight
Back to back
Facing one another
They drew their swords and shot each other
The deaf policeman came 'cuz he heard the noise
He came and arrested the dead boys
Now if you don't belive my lie is true
Ask the blind man he saw it too.
There was also something between the Admission line and One dark night line,
but, for the life of me I can't remember what is was. Also, this was not so
much a song as a skit where one person would recite this as the narrator, and
the rest of the people would act the parts out....
-------
:John E. Holeman Repair Apprentice
:737-7752 jo...@prism.CS.ORST.EDU
:7-4466 Portland Trailblazers - RIP CITY!!!
It is a well known fact that fruit loops are essantial to the processes of the
Brain. Don't forget to eat your fruit loops...
The Fusion Powered Blender
Ionesco's _Bald Soprano_
-xmas
Jim Smith
Twas midnight on the ocean
not a streetcar was in sight,
the sun was shining brightly
for it rained all day that night.
<i forget this part>
as a barefoot boy with shoes on
stood sitting in the grass.
christopher williams
[the "i heard that too, but it went more like this..." article,
with a full repost of the original article]
>-------
>:John E. Holeman Repair Apprentice
>:737-7752 jo...@prism.CS.ORST.EDU
>:7-4466 Portland Trailblazers - RIP CITY!!!
>It is a well known fact that fruit loops are essantial to the processes of the
>Brain. Don't forget to eat your fruit loops...
whitespace, advice, three !'s, odd colons on the left, and maybe two
phone numbers. no stars, though.
-cgw-
reading rec.humor because i'm avoiding physics homework
--
christopher williams c...@unt.edu +1 817 565 4161 NOW EVEN
lead programmer/operator, university of north texas SMALLER!
Kevin Podsiadlik
> Pull up a chair and sit on the floor
> Admission is free so pay at the door.
>
>There was also something between the Admission line and One dark night line,
>but, for the life of me I can't remember what is was.
I don't know where I heard them, but I think the lines you're looking for are:
It happened during Halifax in the city of July
The snow was raining heavily and the weather was quite dry
--
Kevin J. Podsiadlik |
Net.Wise-Guy.At-Large | QUAYLE FOR PRESIDENT IN '96
"Reasonable Rates" | "Why the heck not!"
E-mail: ham...@ais.org | (Don't answer that)
Steve Monson
I can help some; I may have to ask my father for the parts I have forgotten
over the years:
'Twas midnight on the ocean, not a streetcar was in sight,
The sun was shining brightly, and it rained all day that night.
'Twas morning, and the setting sun was rising in the West,
And the little fishes in the trees all snuggled in their nest.
'Twas summer in the winter, and the snow was raining fast,
As the barefoot boy with shoes on stood sitting in the grass.
In a quiet, noisy courtroom, sat an old man, young in years.
O'er his face played happy smiles, and his eyes were filled with tears.
Now, this poor man was a rich cashier, whose good friends all were bad.
The bank he worked for had no dough: he'd stolen every cent they had.
Then a scream rang through the courtroom, and a woman staggered in.
She scarcely weighed three hundred pounds, she was so pale and thin.
"The prisoner is my boy!" she cried. "The only one I had.
His brothers were always good, but he was always bad.
Long before he was born, he was my pride and joy.
I don't know what he's here for, Judge, but for heaven's sake, hang my boy!"
As the organ pealed potatoes, lard was rendered by the choir.
The sexton rang the dishrag. "Someone's set the church on fire!"
"Holy smoke!" the preacher cried, as he somehow lost his hair.
Now his head resembles heaven, for there is no parting there.
Steve
-- mon...@diablo.amd.com
The tide gone out for good
Thirty-one words for seaweed "The Death of Irish"
Whiten on the foreshore. by Arden Carl Mathew
Carol Gibson
I saw a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
Oh how I wish he'd go away!
And...
I went to the pictures next Tuesday
I took a front seat at the back
I said to the lady behind me
"I cannot see over your hat"
She gave me some well-broken biscuits
I ate them and gave her them back
I fell from the florr to the ceiling
And broke a front bone in my back!
In answer to the person who wanted to know where
these come from, I don't know but they and their histories
can be found in the Oxford book of childrens rhymes and games.
There's lots of other funny ones too, like:
Quick, quick!
the cat's been sick
Where, where?
Under the chair
Hasten, hasten
fetch the basin
No, no
fetch the po
Kate, Kate
You're far too late,
the carpet's in a dreadful state!
Ciao!
Carol
%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/
/ "Just because
Carol Gibson, Research Assistant and Programmer / you're paranoid,
Department of Electrical Engineering / Don't mean they're
University of Technology, Sydney, Australia / not after you"
ca...@ee.uts.edu.au / Nirvana
%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/%/
Tomasz Niwinski
> > "'I see', said the blind man to his deaf wife, who was listening to the
> >radio, as he picked up his hammer and saw."
Or, I see said the blind man to his deaf dog,
fool cried the liar,
and the lame man walked away.
gsbs...@utsph.sph.uth.tmc.edu
One night this week on the McNeil/Leherer News Hour, Charlene Hunter-
Gault was interviewing a man she had interviewed one year ago about crime.
With a straight face she said,"It's like deja vu all over again."
bye timr.
One night this week on the McNeil/Leherer News Hour, Charlene Hunter-
> Gault was interviewing a man she had interviewed one year ago about crime.
> With a straight face she said,"It's like deja vu all over again."
>
> bye timr.
>
Teresa Barber
Teresa Barber
Ladies and gentleman skinny and scout
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about
The admission is free so pay at the door
Now pull out a chair and sit on the floor
On one bright day in the middle of the night
Drew their swords and shot each other
The blind man came to see fair play
The mute man came to shout hooray
The deaf policeman heard the noise
And came to stop those two dead boys
He lived on the corner in the middle of the block
In a two story house on a vacant lot
A man with no legs came walking by
And kicked the lawman in his thigh
He crashed through a wall without making a sound
Into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned
A long black hearse came to cart him away
But he ran for his life and is still gone today
I watched from the corner of the table
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable
If you doubt my lies are true
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too
This is my favorite poem. It's by Tyler Rager and I honestly don't know why I love this poem. But ever since I heard it from the movie I just couldn't wait to find it online and read it. When I read it I fell in love with it. <3 Love this poem a lot.